A Woman In The Primary

Cartoon by Barry


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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon. Each panel shows a single speaker, talking directly to the reader.

PANEL 1

A youngish white man with square glasses speaks cheerfully to the reader, holding up one forefinger in a “making a point” gesture.

MAN: We’d love to vote for a woman in the primary! As long as she’s the right woman.

PANEL 2

A middle-aged man with a long face, sunglasses, and a tiny mustache holds his arms wide as he complains. His t-shirt is mostly cut off by the bottom panel border, but we can make out that it says “Biden.”

MAN: She’s so old. Can’t we have some fresh blood?

PANEL 3

A woman with shiny black hair holds a coffee mug and speaks, looking concerned.

WOMAN: She just seems too ambitious. I don’t like that in a President… Plus she’s so inauthentic!

PANEL 4

A benign-looking older man, wearing a dark suit and a striped tie, speaks to us, a small smile on his face.

MAN: Her? No. She doesn’t have enough experience…. Yes, I voted Obama over Hillary in 2008. That’s different.

PANEL 5

A middle-aged man wearing a sports jersey and a baseball cap is looking at his smartphone, swiping it with one finger as he speaks.

MAN: This one’s too radical…

MAN: This one’s too centrist…

PANEL 6

A young man with pierced ears, tattoos, a shaggy haircut, and a cheerful demeanor waves a hand dismissively, as if he’s laughing at a dismissable concept.

MAN: C’mon, her voice is so shrill! IT’d be like voting for my mom!

PANEL 7

A man with neatly combed hair, perfectly round glasses, shrugs. He’s wearing a black shirt, a necktie, and a jacket with a plaid pattern.

MAN: I’d vote for a woman. But think of all the backwards people who won’t. That’s why we have to choose a man.

PANEL 8

A young man in a hoodie, wearing large glasses, is partly turned away from us, but looks back at us out of the corner of his eyes, raising a hand for emphasis.

MAN: She’s just not likable, okay?

PANEL 9

The youngish man from panel 1 is back. He’s grinning a bit too big, and holding two thumbs up towards the viewer.

MAN: So that’s a “no” for 2020! But if an acceptable woman ever runs, we’ll totally vote for her!

KICKER PANEL

A tiny panel below the bottom of the stirp shows a young man with his hair buzzed on teh sides, looking smugly amused, talking to Barry the cartoonist. Barry has a pained expression and has slapped a palm over one of his eyes.

YOUNG MAN: So you’re saying it’s “sexist” to ever criticize a female politician?

BARRY: OW! Eyeball rolling injury!

Posted in Elections, Feminist cartoons |

Magic Ball

Cartoon by Barry


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Transcript of Cartoon

This cartoon has four panels, and is colored in various tones of sepia.

Panel 1

A man stands alone in a room, holding out a shiny ball in one hand. He is speaking to the ball. Nearby, an open box with “Magic Ball” written on it lies open on the floor. The man is looking a little anxious, and is dressed in a slightly old-fashioned style, with a bow tie and a vest with thin vertical stripes.

MAN: Oh, magic ball… I wish I lived in the old days. Society was better then. Life was better.

MAGIC BALL: I, the Magic Ball, will grant your wish!

Panel 2

The man continues speaking to the magic ball, now with an overjoyed expression.

MAN: Wow, it works! Thank you, magic ball! It’s been my lifelong dream to live back when everything was civilized!

MAGIC BALL: I’ll send you to any century you wish! But choose carefully, because when you get there, you’ll be Black.

Panel 3

Still holding the ball, the man looks up as he concentrates, his brow knitted.

MAN: In that case, I’ll go to… Please send me to… To…

Panel 4

Dejected, the man walks away, tossing the ball away over one shoulder.

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons |

I am not a person who would ever do or say the things I said and did

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons! Lots of people pledging $1 or $2 on my Patreon is what makes these cartoons possible.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an small extra “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip. Each panel features a man in a suit, standing at a podium, speaking directly at the viewer.

PANEL 1

The man presses one hand against his chest, in a “this is me” sort of attitude.

MAN: When I got drunk and said all those things about Jews and gays… That’s not me. It goes against everything I believe.

PANEL 2

The man spreads his arms wide, indicating that this is a big sentiment.

MAN: And when I was recorded using the “n word” over and over… That is not the type of person I am. I don’t have a racist bone in my body.

PANEL 3

He raises one index finger, making a concluding point.

MAN: As for pleading guilty for battering my wife… That’s not me. That’s not what I stand for.

MAN: And regarding my many other scandals: Nothing I’ve said or done has anything to do with me, my beliefs, or my character.

PANEL 4

He folds his arms and tips his head back, looking a bit above-it-all and a bit strict. He’s putting his metaphorical foot down.

MAN: And now that I’ve taken full responsibility, it’s time to move on. Let us never mention this again.

“KICKER” PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The same man, now smiling and holding up an Oscar.

MAN: And in conclusion, I’d like to thank the academy for this award…

Posted in Social Justice |

How The Climate Change Hoax Works

Cartoon by Barry


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I drew this one back in June, but as far as I can tell, I never got around to posting it on Leftycartoons until now.


Transcript of Cartoon

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two scientists are talking. We can tell that they’re scientists because they’re wearing lab coats and there’s sciency-looking equipment in the background. Also a reel-to-reel projector and a photo of Al Gore. The Young Scientist is talking animatedly to the Older Scientist; Young’s eyes are wide and naive.

YOUNG: Doctor Goldberg, I know it’s my first day on the job, but I found data proving that global warming is a hoax!

PANEL 2

Older Scientist holds a hand high in the air, gesturing towards a brighter future. Young Scientist turns away, looking up in a noble fashion, his left fist clasped over his heart.

OLDER: It’s true, we made it all up! But play along and you’ll be rich!
YOUNG: Never! The people have a right to the truth!

PANEL 3

OLDER has produced a handgun and shoots YOUNG in the back; YOUNG is in great pain and looks like he’s about to fall over.

OLDER: What a shame.
YOUNG: AAAGH! I die and the spirit of science dies with me!

PANEL 4

Two completely different characters, a man and a woman, in a completely different scene. (We know it’s different because there’s no longer science stuff in the background, and because the color scheme has changed). The man is telling a story.

MAN: …So that’s what I think happens.
WOMAN: It does sound more likely than global warming being true.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Environmental cartoons |

Forced Kidney Donation

Cartoon by Barry


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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels, arranged in a grid of six small panels (three across, two down), followed by a final panel which is quite large.

Panels 1-6 are colored in a minimalist color scheme featuring shades of brown and yellow.

PANEL 1

Panel 1 shows a close-up of man with a van dyke beard with his head on a pillow, snoring. A voice speaks from off-panel.

MAN: Zzzzz…
OFF PANEL VOICE: Wake him up.

PANEL 2

Panels 2 and 3 have a continuous background, showing a bedroom. In panel 2, Man is still asleep in bed, but a man in a solider-or-guard-like uniform is standing over him, with a hand on his shoulder.

SOLDIER: Get up! You’re going to the hospital!

PANEL 3

The man is now out of bed, with another soldier handcuffing him. The man is dressed only in a tee shirt and underwear. In front of him, a middle-aged woman, wearing a jacket and skirt, with a bun and a clipboard, is addressing him.

MAN: What’s HAPPENING?
CLIPBOARD: We’re taking your kidney.

PANEL 4

A close-up of Man and Clipboard. Man is wide-eyed with shock and fear; Clipboard is officious.

MAN: What? WHY?
CLIPBOARD: Your son is ill. He needs your kidney to live.

PANEL 5

We’ve changed locations; Man is now strapped won to an operating table. His tee-shirt is gone, and he’s yelling, futility. Two people in surgical gowns, gloves and masks – one of whom is Clipboard – stand over him. Clipboard is pointing to something on her clipboard.

MAN: But I don’t HAVE a son!
CLIPBOARD: You do. He’s from a one-night stand 20 years ago.

PANEL 6

No dialog in this panel. We see Man’s terrified face and, in the foreground, a gloved hand holding a scalpel.

The bottom border of the above six panels forms a word balloon, which is pointing to MAN in panel 7, indicating that the first six panels are a story that Man is telling in panel 7.

PANEL 7

The same man from the first six panels. He is now standing in a parking lot in front of a building, cheerfully telling a story to another man. Man and his friend are both holding signs that say “PRO LIFE” in big letters. They are surrounded by at least five other protesters, both men and women, also holding “PRO LIFE” signs.

Unlike the first six panels, this panel is in full color.

MAN: And that’s when I woke up. Thank goodness it was only a terrible nightmare!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Feminist cartoons |

Fosta-Sesta and the Art of Not Listening

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four main panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.

Panel 1

There is a large caption saying “THEN“.

Three women — one wearing a hoodie, one wearing a leather jacket, one wearing a pony tail and a “casual nice” office outfit – are talking to a middle-aged white man at a desk, who is wearing a vest and necktie. The women are of various ages and races, and are all looking at the dude in the necktie, who is a Senator. The Senator is holding up a finger in front of Pony Tail in a “wait just a sec” gesture, while he turns in the opposite direction and speaks to someone off-panel.

PONY TAIL: Senator, if the Fosta-Sesta bill becomes law, it’ll harm sex workers like us – the people this bill is supposed to protect!
SENATOR: Julie, bring me a sandwich, please.

Panel 2

The same set-up, but now Hoodie is speaking.

HOODIE: We use the internet to avoid pimps and screen clients. Fosta-Sesta will censor all that. Some of us will be forced onto the streets.
SENATOR: Make it roast beef.

Panel 3

Same set up, but now Leather Jacket speaks, looking angry and holding her hands extended, palms up, in a “come ON!” sort of gesture. The Senator is now holding a sandwich, which he eyes warily.

LEATHER: Fosta-Sensa will make more vulnerable to predators of all kinds. This bill will help pimps and traffickers!
SENATOR: Julie, there’s no mayo on this, is there?

PANEL 4

There is a large caption saying “NOW“.

The Senator is pictured on his own, reading a newspaper. We can see a huge headline on the front page – “Report: Fosta-Sesta Helping Pimps and Traffickers.” The Senator, with a mildly distressed expression, has turned his head and speaks directly to the viewer. (The newspaper’s masthead says it’s called “The Useful Trope.”)

SENATOR: No one could have known this would happen!

SMALL KICKER PANEL BELOW BOTTOM OF STRIP

The three women are again talking to the senator, the women looking stern, the Senator responding cheerfully.

HOODIE: So NOW will you listen to sex workers before making laws about us?
SENATOR: Definitely not.

Posted in Social Justice |

Debate THIS, Libtards! (Or, The Difference Between Effective and Marginal Tax Rates)

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy my cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an extra fifth “kicker” panel, with much smaller artwork, below the bottom of the strip.

Panel 1

Two people, a man and a woman, are standing inside some sort of building, talking. He has neatly combed and blow-dried blonde hair, and is wearing a polo shirt. She has dark hair combed back into a bun, and is wearing a simple pale dress with a dark belt. He is grinning in a somewhat mocking way; she is responding seriously, arms spread a bit.

POLO: I hear liberals want to raise income taxes to 70 percent! How stupid can you guys be?

BUN: I know it sounds strange, but top tax rats of 70 percent or higher were normal until the 1980s.

Panel 2

A close-up of Bun, with a bit of the back of Polo’s head in the foreground. Bun is smiling and holding one palm up in an “explaining” gesture.

BUN: The 70 percent rate we’re talking about would only apply to the ultra-rich. And even the ultra-rich would pay much less than that on their first 10 million dollars of income!

Panel 3

Another closeup on Bun, who is still talking with her hands, and now has a serious expression.

BUN: When top tax rates were at 70 percent – or even 90 percent – the rich didn’t stop working or flee the country. Anyhow, shouldn’t billionaires start paying their fair share?

Panel 4

A shot of Polo and Bun. Polo is laughing. A third man, wearing a necktie, has come in and is talking to Polo while pointing at his watch. Bun is startled by what Necktie says.

POLO: Ordinary workers can’t live on 30 percent of their income! You’re stupid!

NECKTIE: Congressman, sorry to interrupt, but you’re due on Fox News in ten minutes.

Kicker panel below the bottom of the strip

Bun speaks to Polo.

BUN: I should go, too. I’m getting “do not engage” tattooed inside my eyelids.

Posted in Economic cartoons |

The Trans Story Journalists Love To Tell

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first two panels are more or less square shaped; the third and fourth panels are wider than they are tall.

PANEL 1
Three people – A dapper man wearing a bow tie and suspenders, a woman with a bob haircut and a hoodie, and a woman with tattoos and a skirt with a donut pattern – are walking along a path on a grassy hill. Behind them we can see clouds, a tree, a house. The guy with the bow tie is cheerfully reading something aloud from his cell phone. The woman with the donut skirt, also smiling, is hitting her forehead with her palm in a “duh!” gesture. The woman with the hoodie isn’t smiling.

BOW TIE: Another study ahs found that transitioning improves life for nearly all trans people.
DONUTS: Well, duh. Transitioning turned my life around.

PANEL 2
The three have come to a stop, as Hoodie speaks, looking a bit nervous, shrugging and scuffing the toe of one sneaker into the side of another. The other two are a bit surprised by what she’s saying.
HOODIE: Not me. Honestly, I’ve found the whole experience miserable.

PANEL 3
A long horizontal shot of a crowd of legs, in various types of clothing and shoes, all running fast in the same direction. There is a very large sound effect.
SFX: RRRRUMBLE!

PANEL 4
The largest panel in the cartoon shows Bow Tie and Donuts looking very surprised as Hoodie is suddenly surrounded by a crowd of at least 16 reporters, all holding out their cell phones towards her to record what she says. Hoodie, looking left and right, is shocked and panicked. The reporters are yelling out questions and offers.
REPORTER 1: I’m a reporter – can I interview you?
REPORTER 2: Me first!
REPORTER 3: …write a profile of you?
REPORTER 4: …write a column for the Times?
REPORTER 5: …TV segment?
REPORTER 6: …appear on our podcast?

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

If Global Warming Is Real, Then Explain All This Snow!

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my patreon. A $1 pledge really matters to me.


Here’s the graph that’s partly visible in panel 2. The graphic was created by Mike Shibao for the University Corporation for Atmospheric Research.


Related link: Does cold weather disprove global warming?


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has six panels.

PANEL 1
Two women stand outside a building. It is snowing heavily; the ground is covered with snow, and there’s a snowman in the foreground. One woman has red hair and is wearing a down vest, while the other has a red jacket and glasses. The Readhead is talking cheerily with one hand raised in a dismissive “get outta here” sort of gesture; Red Jacket is doing the “explaining hand” thing (upturned palm at a bit above waist height).
REDHEAD: Global warming can’t be real! Look at all this snow!
RED JACKET: I can see why you’d think that, but can I try to change your mind?

PANEL 2
The two characters have apparently gone somewhere sheltered from the snow. Red Jacket is holding up a graph, which shows red lines (increasing) and blue lines (decreasing) superimposed over a map of the USA. Redhead is leaning forward to examine the graph.
RED JACKET: …there are still record-setting cold days, but look at this graph – we’re having them much less often nowadays, and we’re having record hot days much more often.

PANEL 3
The two characters are standing on a beach, looking out at the water. It’s snowing, and the beach is covered in snow except near the shoreline. There’s foam from a little wave coming in. Red Jacket is gesturing towards the wave, while Redhead scratches her head thoughtfully.
RED JACKET: Looking at the ocean, we can see that there are still some waves coming in even when the tide is heading out.
REDHEAD: So the waves are like cold days?

PANEL 4
The two characters are now standing by a building, which has a satellite dish on the roof and the NASA logo on the side. It’s still snowing. Red Jacket is introducing Redhead to a third woman, who is wearing a white coat, glasses, and a knit hat. Redhead is listening attentively.
RED JACKET: …now let’s go visit NASA!
NASA PERSON: Hi, ladies! Let’s talk about the difference between climate and weather.

PANEL 5
The two characters are back on their won, standing outside a building and talking. It’s still snowing; in the foreground, a snowman appears to be checking their cell phone. Redhead is talking energetically and cheerfully, with her hands spread wide, as Red Jacket listens.
REDHEAD: Wow, that was incredible! You’ve proved your point – cold weather really doesn’t mean global warming isn’t real!

PANEL 6
This panel shows Redhead, in the same vest as the previous five panels but with different clothes on under it, talking to a balding man wearing a red scarf. Redhead is in exactly the same pose as in panel 1. Around the corner, unseen by Redhead, we can see Red Jacket looking surprised and annoyed. It’s still snowing.
CAPTION: Literally the next day.
REDHEAD: Global warming can’t be real! Look at all this snow!

Posted in Environmental cartoons |

Top Ten Border Patrol Excuses For Tear Gassing Babies

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, please support my Patreon. A $1 pledge really matters to me.


This is actually a many-years-old comic, originally drawn in response to a baby being peppersprayed by cops at a protest in Portland. (I think this was published in Willamette Week, a Portland weekly newspaper).

I never reprinted or reposted this cartoon, because what’s the point? That sort of thing certainly wouldn’t happen again, right?

Aaargh. I really would have preferred that this cartoon never be current again. (Full disclosure: I don’t know if any actual babies were tear gassed, but small children certainly were.)

I took the old cartoon, changed the uniforms from police blue to border patrol green, and relettered a few panels to make it about border patrol agents rather than cops. Frustratingly, most of the panels required no change at all, other than the colors.


Transcript of Cartoon

This cartoon has eleven panels, the first of which is a title panel.

PANEL 1
This panel shows A baby crying and a nearby Border Patrol Agent hitting a club into one palm, speaking sternly to the baby. A major portion of the panel is taken up by a caption.
CAPTION: TOP TEN BORDER PATROL EXCUSES FOR TEAR GASSING BABIES
BABY: Waaah!
AGENT: Stop being such a baby about it!

PANEL 2
An agent speaks directly to the reader, one hand raised in an “explaining” gesture.
CAPTION: TEN: Wanted to be fair.
AGENT: If I only brutalized adults, that would be discrimination!

PANEL 3
A baby in a polka dot onesie is standing, holding out its hands for balance, and smiling as it speaks.
CAPTION: NINE: Baby was giving agents lip.
BABY: Ga goo! Ga fascist pigs! Aa!

PANEL 4
A border patrol agent walks away from the viewer, hands behind his back, whistling.
CAPTION: EIGHT: Just following orders.

PANEL 5
A baby in a striped onsie is smiling, trying to balance on its feet, and holding a big black ball-shaped bomb with a fuse going “ssssss” in one hand.
CAPTION: SEVEN: It was a terrorist baby!
BABY: Baby wuvs Al Qaeda!

PANEL 6
A border patrol agent is holding one hand to his mouth, in a “whoops” gesture.
CAPTION: SIX: Agent mistook tear gas for a nice lollipop.
AGENT: Oopsie!

PANEL 7
A border patrol agent speaks directly to the readers, looking stern, shrugging.
CAPTION: FIVE: Just doesn’t like babies.
AGENT: They smell funny.

PANEL 8
A baby in a pink onesie is lying on a polka-dot blanket. The baby is wearing a shade visor with a paper that says “press” in it, and is holding a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other.
CAPTION: FOUR: Baby was a reporter.

PANEL 9
A border patrol agent poses, one hand’s fingers pressed to his chest, like a pretentious arteest.
CAPTION: THREE: Throwing kids in cells has grown stale.
AGENT: I need room for growth!

PANEL 10
A baby, scowling, points a gun aggressively.
CAPTION: TWO: Baby gave agents no choice!
BABY: Eat hot lead, fascists!

PANEL 11
A border agent, arms crossed, eyes covered by the bill of his cap, talks to the readers without deigning to look at us.
CAPTION: And the number one excuse is…
AGENT: What makes you think we NEED an excuse?

Posted in Immigration |