Thanks to Everyday Feminism for publishing this comic! And thanks to them as well, for the following transcript:
(A friendly-looking, thin, conventionally attractive white man – “The Fat Whisperer” – speaks directly to the viewer.)
FW: Hi! I’m the Fat Whisperer!
(FW points his finger in the air. He has a smug look on his face.)
FW: I help fat people by telling them things they’ve never heard! Like “you’d look so much nicer if you lost all that weight.”
(FW has a confused expression. His hands are positioned like he is seeking answers.)
FW: “Have you considered putting down the donuts and going for a jog?” (Probably they haven’t!)
(FW holds his hands to his chest, as if he is making a heartfelt statement.)
FW: Or I tell them “being fat could harm your health!” (I bet most fatties have never heard that!)
(FW makes a disgusted expression, holds hands, palms forward, in front of his body to demonstrate rejection.)
FW: But you know what I hate? “Fat Acceptance.” Gross! Fat people can’t “accept” themselves!
(FW has a frustrated facial expression, and points at his hand.)
FW: Fat people need shame and self-loathing! Otherwise they’ll get fatter and worse. Why doesn’t anyone ever teach fat people that?
(FW has his arms crossed in front of his body and wears an angry expression.)
FW: We can’t accept fat people. Because fat people are sinful and weak!
(FW gestures towards himself and looks proud.)
FW: (And if fat people are sinful and weak, that makes thin people like me virtuous and strong!)
(FW is beginning to look even angrier than before. His eyes and mouth are wide open and he is shaking his fist in the air.)
FW: Without me, who’d ever tell these people: Take a run, Lardo! Put down the Twinkies! Where’s your self-respect?
(FW has totally lost it. He is sweating and screaming with rage.)
FW: YOUR BODY DISGUSTS ME AND YOU SHOULD BE SAD!
(FW regains his calm and looks a bit sheepish. His clothes are now disheveled from his tantrum.)
FW: Er… I only say these things because I care!
(FW looks devastated, confused, deeply concerned, and as if he believes he is the victim.)
FW: But sadly, most fat people never hear any of this stuff!