The Fat Whisperer

October 16th, 2015 Barry Posted in Barry's favorites, Uncategorized | No Comments »

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Thanks to Everyday Feminism for publishing this comic! And thanks to them as well, for the following transcript:

Panel 1

(A friendly-looking, thin, conventionally attractive white man – “The Fat Whisperer” – speaks directly to the viewer.)

FW: Hi! I’m the Fat Whisperer!

Panel 2

(FW points his finger in the air. He has a smug look on his face.)

FW: I help fat people by telling them things they’ve never heard!  Like “you’d look so much nicer if you lost all that weight.”

Panel 3

(FW has a confused expression. His hands are positioned like he is seeking answers.)

FW:  “Have you considered putting down the donuts and going for a jog?” (Probably they haven’t!)

Panel 4

(FW holds his hands to his chest, as if he is making a heartfelt statement.)

FW: Or I tell them “being fat could harm your health!” (I bet most fatties have never heard that!)

Panel 5

(FW makes a disgusted expression, holds hands, palms forward, in front of his body to demonstrate rejection.)

FW: But you know what I hate? “Fat Acceptance.” Gross! Fat people can’t “accept” themselves!

Panel 6

(FW has a frustrated facial expression, and points at his hand.)

FW: Fat people need shame and self-loathing! Otherwise they’ll get fatter and worse. Why doesn’t anyone ever teach fat people that?

Panel 7

(FW has his arms crossed in front of his body and wears an angry expression.)

FW: We can’t accept fat people. Because fat people are sinful and weak!

Panel 8

(FW gestures towards himself and looks proud.)

FW: (And if fat people are sinful and weak, that makes thin people like me virtuous and strong!)

Panel 9

(FW is beginning to look even angrier than before. His eyes and mouth are wide open and he is shaking his fist in the air.)

FW: Without me, who’d ever tell these people: Take a run, Lardo! Put down the Twinkies! Where’s your self-respect?

Panel 10

(FW has totally lost it. He is sweating and screaming with rage.)

FW: YOUR BODY DISGUSTS ME AND YOU SHOULD BE SAD!

Panel 11

(FW regains his calm and looks a bit sheepish. His clothes are now disheveled from his tantrum.)

FW: Er… I only say these things because I care!

Panel 12

(FW looks devastated, confused, deeply concerned, and as if he believes he is the victim.)

FW: But sadly, most fat people never hear any of this stuff!