The Scientific Diet Plan

January 17th, 2017 Barry Posted in Uncategorized | No Comments »

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Originally published at Everyday Feminism.

Transcript:

Panel 1

This panel features large title lettering saying “scientific diet plan.” A middle-aged white man, wearing big glasses and what might be a white lab coat, leans in from the side of the panel, partly in front of the lettering, giving a “thumbs-up” sign and speaking directly to the viewer.

Dude: It’s science!

Panel 2

A fat, dark-skinned woman, with short hair and a lighting bolt tattoo, turns in surprise as the white Dude from Panel 1 suddenly addresses her.

Dude: Good news, fat person! I’ve scientifically proven that my new weight-loss diet works!

Panel 3

Close-up on the woman, who is speaking and looks skeptical.

Woman: Wait a sec, I’ve read a lot about this… Weight-loss diets are proven not to work in the long run for 95 percent of patients!

Panel 4

The dude, eagerly waves his arms as he explains.

Dude: That was true in the past, but my new diet has a scientific study! Now there’s no excuse for anyone to remain fat!

Panel 5

The woman has her arms folded as she talks to the dude.

Woman: I don’t think anyone needs to lose weight… But okay. How much weight did the people in your study lose?

Dude: An average of six pounds!

Panel 6

The woman is keeping calm but looking a bit angry.

Woman: Uh-huh… And for how long?

Dude: Subjects kept the weight off for almost one year.

Panel 7

Arms akimbo, the Woman leans forward, now looking quite angry. The man, oblivious, gazes into the air as he thinks about the answer to her question.

Woman: And then what?

Dude: Typically, they regained the weight… And half ended up weighing more than when they began.

Panel 8

The woman is now openly infuriated, yelling and waving her hands in the air. The man looks downward, cheerful and almost bashful.

Woman: Six pounds for a year, and then it comes back? Who could that benefit?

Dude: Well…

Panel 9

Final panel. The shot shows a table in a bookstore, stacked high with copies of a book called “The Science Diet,” with a picture on the cover of the doctor-looking dude from the previous eight panels. A sign next to the stacks of books proclaims “Bestseller!”