If Global Warming Were Real

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these comics, and you can spare it, please support them on Patreon. Even $1 matters a lot to me.

Transcript of cartoon

Panel 1
A white man wearing a collared shirt and glasses, sitting at a desk. He’s typing furiously on a laptop. In front of the desk, a dog watches him adoringly. Behind the desk, there are two windows; outside, it is dark and pouring rain, and the trees lean in the wind.

A caption tell us what he’s typing:

CAPTION: “Global warming” is FAKE NEWS! If global warming were real,

Panel 2
Glasses dude is looking out the window at the storm. Large objects – a boot, a coffee mug, a chair, a mailbox – fly by in the wind as the rain pours down.
GLASSES: Uh-oh! Look at that!

Panel 3
Glasses dude, now with a backpack and carrying a duffel bag, splashes through puddles as he walks away from his house, the dog following him.
GLASSES: This is AWFUL! Come along, Arf Rand!
ARF RAND: Arf!

Panel 4
A far shot of a car driving uphill through the storm. Glasses dude’s word balloon comes from the car.
GLASSES: Get upland get upland get upland get upland get upland…

Panel 5
High on a mountain, Glasses Dude has set up a tent. The sky is only partly cloudy here, and there’s no storm.
GLASSES: Phew! I think we’re safe here!
ARF RAND: Arf!

Panel 6
Glasses dude sits on the grass, next to Arf Rand, who is taking a snooze. Glasses dude is typing on his cell phone; a caption shows us what he’s typing.
CAPTION: As I was saying, if global warming WERE real, wouldn’t we see SOME sign of it?

Posted in Barry's favorites, Environmental cartoons |

How Free Speech Was Saved

Cartoon by Barry

free-speech-social-media

Transcript of Cartoon

Panel 1
This panel shows only the title of the strip, in large, cheerful letters on a blue background.
TITLE: How Free Speech Was Saved

Panel 2
Two men, in their 20s or 30s, are in a coffee shop. One of them, a handsome, muscular blonde man with a square jaw and wearing a sleeveless tee, is looking angrily at his tablet. The other, a scruffier looking man in a collared blue shirt, is sitting at a table with his laptop, but looking up in alarm.

BLONDE: The feminists are attacking free speech!
SCRUFF: Oh NO!

Panel 3
A closer shot of the two guys as they stare at Blonde’s tablet.

BLONDE: Look, this one’s calling out sexism in a video game!
SCRUFF: Feminist criticism? But that’s censorship!

Panel 4
Blonde dramatically gestures, looking up and waving fists in the air, as Scruff turns to his laptop.

BLONDE: This injustice CANNOT stand!
SCRUFF: I’ll get on social media!

Panel 5
This panel is divided into four sub-panels, showing four different men in different locations, all reading something on their computer or tablet and yelling “ATTACK!”

Panel 6
A 30ish woman in a black sleeveless tee sits in front of her laptop, a cup of coffee on the table, and looks shocked at what’s on her computer screen.
VARIOUS MESSAGES FROM COMPUTER: Step in a hole and die! Rape! I know where you live! Hate! SJW scum! You are pure @#$&! Die!
WOMAN: Yipes!

Panel 7
The same woman, now crying a little, types a message into her computer.
WOMAN: Dear friends: For the time being, I’m shutting down all my social media accounts…

Panel 8
Another panel that’s been divided into four sub-panels, each showing a different woman in a different location. They are all looking at their internet devices, and all thinking the same thought: “Look at what they did to her… Maybe I shouldn’t post online.”

Panel 9
Back to the two guys, who have their arms crossed and are looking happy and prideful, as they talk to a third man, a hippie-looking dude who is very impressed.

BLONDE: And that’s how we saved free speech!
HIPPIE: Wow! You guys are heroes!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Feminist cartoons |

Time Travel

Cartoon by Barry

(This cartoon was first published on The Nib.)

If you enjoy these cartoons, please support them on Patreon.

Transcript of Cartoon:

Panel 1
CAPTION: The Year 2000

The scene shows a park or college campus scene. A woman stands in front of a table, listening with an expression of skepticism; the table has a big sign that says “NADER” hanging off the front. Behind the table, talking to the woman, is BARRY2000, who is clean-shaven and has big messy hair. Behind Barry2000, BARRY2008 appears, transported to the scene by a glowing purple ring in the air. Barry2008 is yelling in a panic at Barry2000. Barry2008 is wearing a vest over a t-shirt, has his hair tied in a ponytail, and has a van dyke beard and mustache.

BARRY2000: Nader is our only choice that isn’t a vote for evil!
BARRY2008: Barry, stop!

Panel 2
A close shot shows Barry2000 and Barry2008. Barry2000 is puzzled, Barry2008 is still intense and panicked.

BARRY2000: Who are you?
BARRY2008: I’m you! I’m Barry from 2008. I’m using a time machine to stop you from making an awful mistake!

Panel 3
Close shot of Barry2008, who is waving his arms and still looks panicked.

BARRY2008: George W. Bush is much worse than you think he’ll be! There was a terrorist attack, and we invaded Iraq, and it’s all awful!

Panel 4
Barry 2008 continues to talk at Barry2000. Behind Barry2008 BARRY2016 appears in a glowing ring of time travel, tapping Barry2008 on the shoulder. Barry2016 is wearing a striped polo shirt, has his hair in a ponytail, and his beard is trimmed short.

BARRY2008: I literally can’t imagine a worse Pres-
BARRY2016: Excuse me, I’m Barry from 2016.

Tiny “kicker” panel at the bottom.
BARRY2024, an older, balding Barry in a v-neck shirt, has appeared and is talking to Barry2016, who looks very happy.

BARRY2024: Hi, I’m Barry from 2024. We’re ruled by giant alien roaches.
BARRY2016: So it gets better!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

36 Annoying Anti-Feminists – revised and expanded!

Cartoon by Barry

Please support these cartoons on Patreon.

(There was an earlier version of this cartoon, which had only 32 anti-feminists.)

Transcript of cartoon:
Title At Top of Cartoon: 36 Annoying Anti-Feminists you will meet on the internet

Panel 1
(A wide-eyed man wearing a plaid shirt waves his hands above his head to make it clear he’s talking about a BIG deal.)
Panel Title: The Molehill Grower
Man: A feminist on twitter got her punctuation wrong… Clearly the whole movement has no legitimacy!

Panel 2
(A scholarly looking man with reading glasses, a sweater vest and a pleasant demeanor raises one hand in a “just explaining things” manner.)
Panel Title: The Economist
Man: Sexism can’t exist, because the free market is perfect! So if employers pay women less, women must be worth less!

Panel 3
(A quivering man with huge eyes and a very intense expression holds up a diagram showing a midsection; three arrows on the diagram point to a tiny dot within the midsection.)
Panel Title: The Fetusphile
Man: This is a zygote! It matters infinitely more than its oven does!

Panel 4
(A scruffy-looking man with a grumpy expression stands in a spotlight, speaking into a handheld microphone.)
Panel Title: The Comedian
Man: Feminists only criticize my “edgy” rape jokes because they have no sense of humor!

Panel 5
(A suit-wearing man with carefully styled hair and a devout expression holds a bible to his heart. In he backgrund, a woman clutches her hands together in an “oh please” expression.)
Panel Title: God Told Him So
Man: Feminism tells women to leave their husbands, practice witchcraft, destroy capitalism and become lesbians!
Woman: Where do I sign?

Panel 6
(A man with glasses and a sad expression, cartoon sweat droplet flying from his face, is looking at book with the title “Yearbook” and yelling with an anguished expression.)
Panel Title: Not Yet Over High School
Man: Why wouldn’t the hot girls date me? WHHYYY?

Panel 7
(A young, fit-looking guy wearing a sweatshirt shrugs with bewilderment.)
Panel Title: The Douchebro
Man: Find out if she wants sex before I f**k her? How would that even work?

Panel 8
(A man with a long white beard, sunglasses, and a short buzzcut, stand with his arms crossed.)
Panel Title: The Scholar
Man: After extensive pursual of Wikipedia, I fail to see any difference between feminists and Nazis!

Panel 9
(A slightly smug-looking young woman in a striped shirt stands smiling, holding up a sign that says “I’m not a feminist because I don’t hate men!”)
Panel Title: The Good Girl

Panel 10
(A young man with long hair in a ponytail and a short chin-only beard addresses the viewer cheerfully while holding a pen and notepad.)
Panel Title: The Rationalist
Man: My objective logic proves white men objectively deserve everything we have because we’re so super objective!

Panel 11
(A young woman stands, holding a beer and looking a bit annoyed, as a young man holds up a finger to indicate “wait” while reading a book with the title “How To Pick Up Girls.”)
Panel Title: The Pick-Up Artist
Man: It says to “neg” you now.

Panel 12
(A man sits at a computer, waving his fists, cartoon sweat droplets flying, apparently overcome with fury.)
Panel Title: The Gamergater
Man: How dare feminists say some gamers are sexist? @#%*ing whores!

Panel 13
(A 30ish man with a small beard and his nose stuck high in the air is speaking, arms folded.)
Panel Title: The Comparison Shopper
Man: U.S. Women should be embarassed to whine about “sexism” when Saudi Arabia is so much worse!
Arrow-shaped caption pointing to man: Deeply distressed by anti-male bias in “Harry Potter.”

Panel 14
(A middle-aged man wearing a bathrobe and sunglasses grins while holding a glass of wine.)
Panel Title: Creepy
Man: When you think about it, it’s natural that teen girls are attracted to middle-aged men. Wanna see my hot tub?

Panel 15
(A young man spreads his hands wide, in an “oh come on!” sort of gesture.)
Panel Title: Won’t Get Fooled Again
Man: If females aren’t liars, then why do they wear makeup? Huh? Why? Explain!

Panel 16
(A man with stubble and spikey hair, and weird wide eyes, a huge scowling mouth, and fist held balled up at shoulder height, is yelling. He trembles with rage.)
Panel Title: Mr Buzzword
Man: PC militant misandrist cultural Marxist gynocentric authoritarian cuck snowflack SJW gender troglodytes!

Panel 17
(A 30ish man with short black hair speaks angrily towards the viewer. In the background, a cheerful young woman stands, arms akimbo.)
Panel Title: Going His Own Way
Man: This 20 year old doesn’t want to sleep with me so I’m giving up women forever!
Woman: Promises, promises…

Panel 18
(A young man stands with his back mostly to the viewer, trembling with suppressed emotion. We can see a bit of his face; he has a distressed expression, and is trembling.)
Panel Title: The Open Wound
Man: Hearing people defend feminism is so painful it might kill me! …I demand that you defend feminism!

Panel 19
(A young man, wearing a tank top with a “male symbol” circle and arrow on it, points straight at the viewer and has an accusing expression.)
Panel Title: He’s Rubber, You’re Glue
Man: Feminazis are the real misogynists!

Panel 20
(A nicely-dressed woman with cats eye glasses and a fashionable haircut holds up a finger to make a point.)
Panel Title: The That’s Not Real Rape Lady
Woman: But if she didn’t say “no” a fifth time, then…

Panel 21
(A man with messy hair yells hugely into the air.)
Panel Title: Back Away Slowly
Man: Females have conspired to lower men’s sperm counts!

Panel 22
(A man with a very intense expression and a t-shirt that says “Red Pill” speaks to the viewer.)
Panel Title: Back Away Quickly
Man: Women control the sexual market so I am forced to “go alpha” and “take control” in a way that just barely falls short of rape!

Panel 23
(A smiling man with a dark suit and slicked-back hair speaks, looking relaxed and confident.)
Panel Title: The SpokesMAN
Man: As a man, I know all real men hate feminism! Because that’s how manly men roll!

Panel 24
(We see a door with wooden planks nailed across it to lock it closed. Next to the door a sign has been taped to the wall, which says “keep OUT!” There is a slot in the door; a voice comes out from the slot.)
Panel Title: Wee Bit Paranoid
Voice: THEY’RE COMING FOR OUR PORN!

Panel 25
(A cheerful young man with curly hair sits in front of a laptop computer.)
Panel Title: The Amazing Twitterman!
Man: I will prove this feminist wrong by tweeting an anonymous rape threat!

Panel 26
(A balding man, looking honestly bewildered, holds out a hand in explanation.)
Panel Title: It’s Science!
Man: How can feminists deny that women evolved to love dusting? Clearly they’re anti-science!

Panel 27
(A man, very close up, screams in the viewers face, wide mouth and sweat droplets flying.)
Panel Title: The Swiss Army Knife Of Hate
Man: Feminazis! And race pimps! And moose limbs! And Jews! And…

Panel 28
(A woman, smiling, stands in an enormous pile of money. From off-panel, a hand shoots out, holding papers out to her.)
Panel Title: The Anti-Feminist Feminist
Woman: Speaking as a feminist, feminism is evil! Oh, look, another book contract.

Panel 29
(A young man is talking at a woman in the foreground, waving his hands around his head.)
Panel Title: The Subject Changer
Man: And speaking of whatever it is you’re talking about, male circumcision is worse than Hitler!

Panel 30
(An older, professorial man, holding a pipe, looks down his nose at the viewer.)
Panel Title: The Traditionalist
Man: Women hold jobs now? I despair for the ruin of our once-great society…

Panel 31
(A muscular man speaks, smiling and relaxed and perhaps a bit smug.)
Panel Title: The Anti-Male Anti-Feminist
Man: Men can’t be expected to refrain when women wear short skirts… because all men are beasts!

Panel 32
(A sock puppet of a young woman with a striped hoodie is being held up, the arm of the person holding it coming up from below the bottom of the panel.)
Panel Title: The Sock Puppet
Puppet: Brad is right! Feminazis do hate men! So says I, a total stranger who just happened to come across this discussion.

Panel 33
(A well-dressed man with glasses speaks, eyebrows knitted with anger.)
Panel Title: The “Divorce Opened My Eyes” Guy
Man: The government forces me to pay child support. Now I see that men are slaves.

Panel 34
A somewhat hippie-looking guy – long hair in a ponytail, plaid shirt – is speaking, a smile on his face, but with condescending body language.
Panel Title: The Marxist
Man: I strongly support feminism! (Until it distracts from actually important issues like class.)

Panel 35
(A person with ambiguous gender speaks very intensely, one finger pointing into the air to make a point.)
Panel Title: The Free Speech Purist
Person: Accusing others of sexism is trying to shut them up which is censorship! Which is why you should shut up.

Panel 36
(An intense man, reading off an incredibly long list he holds up in one hand, glares at another man in the foreground.)
Panel Title: The Cartoon Critic
INTENSE MAN: It’s a list of 406 ways your vomit-worthy travesty of a “cartoon” is dishonest, deceitful and full of lies!

Kicker panel below bottom of strip.
(And older, very angry man in a striped shirt shakes his fist in the air as he speaks.)
Man: He only made this cartoon because he’s hoping it’ll get him laid! Pathetic cuck loser!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Feminist cartoons |

The Fat Whisperer

Cartoon by Barry

fat-whisperer-1500

Thanks to Everyday Feminism for publishing this comic! And thanks to them as well, for the following transcript:

Panel 1

(A friendly-looking, thin, conventionally attractive white man – “The Fat Whisperer” – speaks directly to the viewer.)

FW: Hi! I’m the Fat Whisperer!

Panel 2

(FW points his finger in the air. He has a smug look on his face.)

FW: I help fat people by telling them things they’ve never heard!  Like “you’d look so much nicer if you lost all that weight.”

Panel 3

(FW has a confused expression. His hands are positioned like he is seeking answers.)

FW:  “Have you considered putting down the donuts and going for a jog?” (Probably they haven’t!)

Panel 4

(FW holds his hands to his chest, as if he is making a heartfelt statement.)

FW: Or I tell them “being fat could harm your health!” (I bet most fatties have never heard that!)

Panel 5

(FW makes a disgusted expression, holds hands, palms forward, in front of his body to demonstrate rejection.)

FW: But you know what I hate? “Fat Acceptance.” Gross! Fat people can’t “accept” themselves!

Panel 6

(FW has a frustrated facial expression, and points at his hand.)

FW: Fat people need shame and self-loathing! Otherwise they’ll get fatter and worse. Why doesn’t anyone ever teach fat people that?

Panel 7

(FW has his arms crossed in front of his body and wears an angry expression.)

FW: We can’t accept fat people. Because fat people are sinful and weak!

Panel 8

(FW gestures towards himself and looks proud.)

FW: (And if fat people are sinful and weak, that makes thin people like me virtuous and strong!)

Panel 9

(FW is beginning to look even angrier than before. His eyes and mouth are wide open and he is shaking his fist in the air.)

FW: Without me, who’d ever tell these people: Take a run, Lardo! Put down the Twinkies! Where’s your self-respect?

Panel 10

(FW has totally lost it. He is sweating and screaming with rage.)

FW: YOUR BODY DISGUSTS ME AND YOU SHOULD BE SAD!

Panel 11

(FW regains his calm and looks a bit sheepish. His clothes are now disheveled from his tantrum.)

FW: Er… I only say these things because I care!

Panel 12

(FW looks devastated, confused, deeply concerned, and as if he believes he is the victim.)

FW: But sadly, most fat people never hear any of this stuff!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Uncategorized |

How Rape Makes Women Poorer

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, and can spare it, please support my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters.


This cartoon was inspired by “Yes means yes” is about much more than rape, by Amanda Taub.


Transcript:
The cartoon is in flow chart form.

Panel 1 is labeled “START HERE,” and shows a fashionable hipster man talking on a cell phone. He has a Van Dyke beard.
VAN DYKE: Come to the city and stay with me for the conference! You’ll meet important people!

An arrow labeled “If you’re a girl go this way” leads to a panel showing a young woman on the phone thinking “Should I go? I barely know this guy.” There are two paths leading from this panel: “YES, GO” and “DON’T GO.”

“DON’T GO” leads to a panel marked THE END, where we see an IMPORTANT PERSON IN A SUIT AND TIE speaking to VAN DYKE.
IMPORTANT PERSON: Whatever happened to her? I thought she was talented.
VAN DYKE: I tried helping her, but she’s SO standoffish.
THE END!

“YES, GO!” leads to a panel of the young woman and Van Dyke in a bedroom. He is grabbing her and she’s trying to fend him off.
VAN DYKE: Aw, c’mon, don’t tease!
WOMAN: Get OFF!
There are two routes out of this panel: “STAY IN HIS APARTMENT” and “FLEE HIS APARTMENT.” “STAY IN HIS APARTMENT” leads to a black panel labeled “HE RAPES YOU.” “FLEE HIS APARTMENT” leads to a panel of the young woman sitting on a sidewalk, shivering, in the dark, labeled “you’re broke on the streets of a strange city.” Whichever path you choose, they both lead to…

A panel marked “YOU GET BLAMED.” Fingers point at the young woman.
FINGER 1: She must have wanted it!
FINGER 2: What did she expect to happen?

The “YOU GET BLAMED” panel leads to an arrow marked “TIME OFF TO HEAL,” which in turn leads back to the THE END panel.

Going all the way back to the “START HERE” panel, there’s one more route in this flow chart. From “START HERE” (“Come to the city and stay with me for the conference! You’ll meet important people!”) choose “IF YOU’RE A BOY, GO THIS WAY.” A young man on the phone says “Thanks! I’d love to go!” We then see him at a party in the city, with lots of networking going on; the IMPORTANT PERSON is saying to him, “we should collaborate.” An arrow marked “YEARS LATER” leads to a panel of the now less young man, clearly now an important person himself, giving a speech at a podium.

YOUNG MAN: I never benefited from sexism… I just worked harder than my rivals!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Feminist cartoons |

Rape and Consent – Affirmative Consent Explained

Cartoon by Barry

Further update: And a third try at finding the right punchline to this cartoon! (Scroll down for the first two attempts).

rape-and-consent-1500

The second try:

Sometimes I don’t get cartoons right the first time. After I’d posted this one online, David Feldman emailed me suggesting that the punchline would be better if it focused more on past acts than on future plans. He was right, and after a bit of emailing back and forth, we came up with a new punchline.

rape-and-consent

For those of you who are interested, here’s the cartoon with the original punchline:

rape-and-consent-1100

If you purchase this cartoon for reprint, be sure to let me know which punchline you prefer. 🙂

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
The cartoon shows two young men chatting. The man on the left is Asian and punky – he has his hair shaved into a mohawk, a nose ring and an earlobe plug, and tattoos. The man on the right is probably white and has a van dyke beard and a shaved head, and is wearing a black vest over a turtleneck shirt. There are six panels.

Panel 1
BEARDY: In the old days, rape was when a thug jumped out of bushes, not this “date rape” and “affirmative consent” nonsense!

Panel 2
BEARDY: If we define “rape” so broadly, how can I know I’m not “raping” a girl I’m hooking up with?

Panel 3
PUNKY: It’s really not hard! If she acts like she wants sex, by yanking your pants down or saying “fuck me now” – if she’s going for it just as much as you are – then you’re golden!

Panel 4
PUNKY: But if she’s so drunk that she can’t walk straight or talk clearly, then she might be too drunk to know what’s going on, so don’t fuck her. Or him, for that matter.

Panel 5
PUNKY: And if she passively “gives in” to sex, check that things are cool before going any further. Why is that so hard?
BEARDY: Because!

Panel 6
PUNKY: Because what?
BEARDY: Because she might say no!

Alternate punchline:

BEARDY: Because it’s impossible that anything I’ve done was rape!

And the original punchline:

BEARDY: Because then I might not get to fuck her!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Feminist cartoons |

Marriage Fixes Everything!

Cartoon by Barry

poverty-and-marriage-650

Description of cartoon:

The cartoon depicts a young mother and her toddler, in a small and crappy-looking room. The woman is bent double under a load of boxes, trunks and bags, each of which is labeled: Unemployment, Lack of Education, Illness, Bigotry, Exhaustion, Low Wages, Childcare, Looking Poor, and Crime.

Also in the room is a young white guy, wearing a necktie and suspenders, who is grinning happily and telling the woman “I know what’s holding you down! You should be married!”

In a little “epilog” panel at the bottom of the cartoon, the guy continues “…Unless you’re gay.”

Posted in Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons, LGBT cartoons |

The Federal Budget Is Like Your Family’s Budget!

Cartoon by Barry

federal-vs-famiily-budget

Two women are talking, who I will call “Black Dress” and “Sneakers,” respectively.

Panel 1
BLACK DRESS: The Federal government’s budget is just like a family budget!
SNEAKERS: Really? Your family prints its own currency?

Panel 2
BLACK DRESS: Well, no.
SNEAKERS: Can your family sell its own super-low-interest bonds to borrow money?

Panel 3
Both women have become a bit annoyed with the other.
BLACK DRESS: No! But when I do my family budget, I can’t spend more than I earn.
SNEAKERS: Then how will anyone in your family ever own a home? Or go to college?

Panel 4
BLACK DRESS: My point is, the government has to cut back! Starting with social security!
SNEAKERS (horrified): Your family saves money by robbing Grandma?

Posted in Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons |

Copyright Vs. Shakespeare

Cartoon by Barry

(Buy a print of this cartoon on Redbubble.)

This cartoon was inspired by a Huffington Post article by Jennifer Jenkins, in which she quoted Judge Richard Posner:

What happens if these underlying sources are copyrighted? As Judge Richard Posner pointed out, “Romeo and Juliet itself would have infringed Arthur Brooke’s The Tragicall Historye of Romeo and Juliet… which in turn would have infringed several earlier Romeo and Juliets, all of which probably would have infringed Ovid’s story of Pyramus and Thisbe.” You get the point — without a rich public domain, much of literature would be illegal.

Many thanks to my friend Rachel Swirsky, who co-wrote this strip. This is the second “Ampersand” strip Rachel has co-written; the previous one was The Church of Fiscal Conservatism.

Panel 1
Shakespeare, at a writing table, feathery quill in hand, holding up what he has just written to read it aloud.
SHAKESPEARE: “But soft! What light through yon window breaks? It is a lightning bug, and Juliet is the bug’s ass.”

Panel 2
Shakespeare sits, slumps his head into his hands.
SHAKESPEARE (thought): Needs work.
FEDERAL AGENT (from off-panel): HALT, THIEF!

Panel 3
Shakespeare rises and speaks sharply to the Federal Agent who has just walked in. The Federal Agent wears a 20th century suit and dark glasses, and displays a badge.
SHAKESPEARE: SIR! What brings you to my chamber?
FED: This PLAY you wrote, “Romeo and Juliet.”

Panel 4
FED: You STOLE it from Arthur Brooke’s “The Tragical Historye of Romeus and Juliet!”

Panel 5
Shakespeare is using the ol’ “explaining hands” gesture, the Fed points and yells.
SHAKESPEARE: The SEED was Brooke’s, but under my care it has flourished into a DIFFERENT tree-
FED: So you ADMIT it!

Panel 6
The Fed whips off his dark glasses for a panel. He looks so mad that he might eat them.
FED: Answer THIS, smart guy: Why should BROOKE bother writing NEW WORK when second-raters like YOU swipe his stuff?

Panel 7
Shakespeare is beginning to get pissed.
SHAKESPEARE: But sir! Poor Brooke lies beneath the sod. My simple play cannot disturb him now. The ONLY work being stifled is mine own!

Panel 8
FED: YOUR work? HA! Derivative TRASH! If you had any talent, you’d write something ORIGINAL!

Panel 9
SHAKESPEARE: But Brooke’s OWN idea germinated with Matteo Bandello! We are ALL leaves from the same branch, sir! That’s how creativity works!

Panel 10
The FED, who is quite a bit larger than Shakespeare, grabs Shakespeare and shakes him back and forth.
FED: No, that’s how STEALING works! Brooke’s only been dead for THIRTY YEARS. The worms have barely finished digesting!

Panel 11
Shakespeare’s babbling is interrupted when the stern-faced Fed yanks him around to put handcuffs on him.
SHAKESPEARE: But this is MADNESS! Do we not value freedom of THOUGHT? Are IDEAS not the currency of culture? The veritable grist of progress for the social mill? Tell me sir– OW!

Panel 12
Shakespeare, dressed in jailbird’s stripes, sits in a prison cell, loking a bit wistful or confused.
CAPTION: And so Creativity was Saved from a Plagiarist Lout.

(Buy a print of this cartoon on Redbubble.)

Posted in Barry's favorites |