Top Ten Border Patrol Excuses For Tear Gassing Babies

Cartoon by Barry


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This is actually a many-years-old comic, originally drawn in response to a baby being peppersprayed by cops at a protest in Portland. (I think this was published in Willamette Week, a Portland weekly newspaper).

I never reprinted or reposted this cartoon, because what’s the point? That sort of thing certainly wouldn’t happen again, right?

Aaargh. I really would have preferred that this cartoon never be current again. (Full disclosure: I don’t know if any actual babies were tear gassed, but small children certainly were.)

I took the old cartoon, changed the uniforms from police blue to border patrol green, and relettered a few panels to make it about border patrol agents rather than cops. Frustratingly, most of the panels required no change at all, other than the colors.


Transcript of Cartoon

This cartoon has eleven panels, the first of which is a title panel.

PANEL 1
This panel shows A baby crying and a nearby Border Patrol Agent hitting a club into one palm, speaking sternly to the baby. A major portion of the panel is taken up by a caption.
CAPTION: TOP TEN BORDER PATROL EXCUSES FOR TEAR GASSING BABIES
BABY: Waaah!
AGENT: Stop being such a baby about it!

PANEL 2
An agent speaks directly to the reader, one hand raised in an “explaining” gesture.
CAPTION: TEN: Wanted to be fair.
AGENT: If I only brutalized adults, that would be discrimination!

PANEL 3
A baby in a polka dot onesie is standing, holding out its hands for balance, and smiling as it speaks.
CAPTION: NINE: Baby was giving agents lip.
BABY: Ga goo! Ga fascist pigs! Aa!

PANEL 4
A border patrol agent walks away from the viewer, hands behind his back, whistling.
CAPTION: EIGHT: Just following orders.

PANEL 5
A baby in a striped onsie is smiling, trying to balance on its feet, and holding a big black ball-shaped bomb with a fuse going “ssssss” in one hand.
CAPTION: SEVEN: It was a terrorist baby!
BABY: Baby wuvs Al Qaeda!

PANEL 6
A border patrol agent is holding one hand to his mouth, in a “whoops” gesture.
CAPTION: SIX: Agent mistook tear gas for a nice lollipop.
AGENT: Oopsie!

PANEL 7
A border patrol agent speaks directly to the readers, looking stern, shrugging.
CAPTION: FIVE: Just doesn’t like babies.
AGENT: They smell funny.

PANEL 8
A baby in a pink onesie is lying on a polka-dot blanket. The baby is wearing a shade visor with a paper that says “press” in it, and is holding a notebook in one hand and a pen in the other.
CAPTION: FOUR: Baby was a reporter.

PANEL 9
A border patrol agent poses, one hand’s fingers pressed to his chest, like a pretentious arteest.
CAPTION: THREE: Throwing kids in cells has grown stale.
AGENT: I need room for growth!

PANEL 10
A baby, scowling, points a gun aggressively.
CAPTION: TWO: Baby gave agents no choice!
BABY: Eat hot lead, fascists!

PANEL 11
A border agent, arms crossed, eyes covered by the bill of his cap, talks to the readers without deigning to look at us.
CAPTION: And the number one excuse is…
AGENT: What makes you think we NEED an excuse?

Posted in Immigration |

Border Deaths

Cartoon by Barry


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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels.

PANEL 1
Two men are walking through what looks like a hilly park. The man walking in front has a high hairline and glasses; the man walking in the back is bald with a goatee. The man in back is wide-eyed and looks distressed.

GOATEE: Over seven thousand immigrants have died int eh desert trying to cross the U.S. border. Seven thousands!
GOATEE: Some town morgues are overwhelmed by the sheer number of corpses!

PANEL 2
Glasses has stopped and turned back to face Goatee. Glasses has his arms crossed; Goatee has his arms extended, palms up, in a supplicating fashion.

GLASSES: So what do you want, an “open door” policy?
GOATEE: Maybe! Or if we have a closed door policy, design it to stop our closed door from causing thousands of deaths!

PANEL 3
A shot from behind Glasses, looking towards Goatee. Glasses has a hand upraised in a “stop!” gesture; Goatee has put one hand on his cheek and still looks wide-eyed and distressed.

GLASSES: Well, I think we should get stricter. If more of them die, that’s not our problem.
GOATEE: But these are human beings!

PANEL 4
A close-up of glasses, looking stern and angry, one forefinger raised.

GLASSES: That’s where we disagree. I don’t think of them as human.
GLASSES: They gave up their claim to being human by disrespecting our laws!

PANEL 5
Same shot as the previous panel, but now Glasses is transforming like a wolfman; he’s grown fur, his ears have gotten pointy, his nose has pushed forward into a snout.

GLASSES: When people act uncivilized, they stop being human!

PANEL 6
A long shot shows that Glasses has now almost fully transformed into a dog-like creature. Goatee is raising his hands defensively and backing up.

GLASSES: These are animals, and if they die I don’t grrrrr growf! GROWF!
GOATEE: Er…

Below the bottom of the strip, there is a quote.
“These aren’t people. They’re animals.” –Donald Trump, May 16, 2018

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons, Immigration, Social Justice |

New Recruits’ Vow

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, and can spare it, please support them on Patreon. A $1 pledge matters a lot.


Transcript of Cartoon

This is a four-panel cartoon.

PANEL ONE shows two women, one wearing a long open-front sweater and a polka dot skirt, the other wearing pants and a long-sleeved v neck shirt. The woman with the polka dot skirt is reading aloud from something on her smartphone. The woman in the v-neck shirt is listening, hand on her chin.

DOTS: Listen to the vow this group makes new recruits take! “I swear I will have no mercy for brown people…”

PANEL TWO
A close-up of Dots as she continues reading from her phone. She looks a bit angry.

DOTS: “I will throw them into prison without due process. I will pull their crying children from their arms.”

PANEL THREE
A shot of the two of them. Dots continues to read from her phone. V-Neck interrupts, looking horrified, her eyes wide and her hands on her cheeks.

DOTS: “I will spread fear and desperation. I will…”
V-NECK: What nightmare group is this? The Klan? The Nazis?

PANEL FOUR
A middle-aged man with a mustache and wearing a suit, stands behind a podium, talking to a crowd of people. The front of the podium has the Department of Homeland Security seal, and the word “ICE.”

MAN: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to ICE!

Posted in Immigration, Social Justice |

Our (Shit)Whole Immigration Policy

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon was first published on Spliter .


If you enjoy these cartoons, and you can spare it, please support my Patreon! A $1 pledge means a lot.


Transcript of cartoon:

Panel 1
A middle-aged or older man, handsome in a grandfatherly way, stands behind a podium wearing a brown suit. He looks stern and serious, and raises his left index finger into the air as he speaks.

MAN: Republican Immigration policy is NOT racist! “American first” is not racist! “Merit-based” is not racist!

Panel 2
A close-up of the man, who is now smiling genially, and shrugging.
MAN: The Republican policy isn’t about anything but MERIT! We want immigrants who can contribute to our society and grow our economy! Judging people as individuals is NOT racist!

Panel 3
Final panel. The man makes a fist and is now scowling angrily.
MAN: Oh, and we don’t want anyone from Africa, Haiti or any of those SHITHOLE countires. That’s it. Bye now!

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons, Immigration |

Ten Reasons We Want To Kick Out The Dreamers

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, please support them at Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters to me.

Title: TEN REASONS WE WANT TO KICK OUT THE DREAMERS

Panel 1
This panels shows a white man and woman, who look like a married suburban couple, standing behind a picket fence. The man is speaking angrily.
MAN: Because someone who spends the first year of their life abroad and 20 years here has no real connection to the U.S.!

Panel 2
A white man in a black jacket stands flipping frantically through a book.
MAN: Because the Bible tells us to treat our neighbors like shit! Especially the least well off! (It’s in here somewhere…)

Panel 3
A white woman stands behind a counter with a cash register on it. She is shrugging. Dollar bills are fluttering through the air around her.
WOMAN: Because I have no use for the money dreamers spend at my store! (What’s this stuff even for?)

Panel 4
A white man with a tidy beard stands in a park, giving the viewer the finger.
MAN: Because pissing off the libtards is reason enough!

Panel 5
A white man with hair sticking straight out and huge eyes is yelling, sweat flying from his face, in an extreme close-up.
MAN: Because people born in other countries are evil! EEEVVILLLLL!

Panel 6
Donald Trump, wearing a suit and tie and holding a pen up, speaks.
TRUMP: It’s all about the rule of law! Now excuse me while I pardon Joe Arpaio!

Panel 7
An alien, with inhumanly red skin, four arms, and a triangle shaped head with no nose or ears and only one eye, speaks cheerily. The alien is giving a thumbs up with one hand and holding a coffee mug with a smily face design in the other. The alien’s hands have eight fingers each.
ALIEN: Because like most evil aliens from Neptune, I thrive on the needless suffering of others!

Panel 8
A white woman with a knit hat and a blue shirt stands on a residential street of a city.
WOMAN: Because by adding $400 billion to the economy, they’re leaching off of REAL Americans!

Panel 9
A nice office, with an American flag on a pole, a large desk, and an executive style chair. A bald white man is hiding behind the desk; all we can see of him is his eyes and upper head, peeking out from behind the desk. He’s talking quietly.
MAN: Because my voters frighten me.

Panel 10
Two white men wearing white robes are speaking. One is middle-aged and balding; the other is young and has read hair. Both are trying to hide KKK hoods behind their back.
MAN 1: It’s definitely NOT because most Dreamers are brown!
MAN 2: GOSH no!

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons, Economic cartoons, Immigration |

The Democratic Coalition

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge means a lot to me.

This cartoon was originally published on The Nib.

Transcript of Cartoon:

Panel 1
This panel shows a diverse group of people, all listening to a smiling white man in a suit and tie. In the background is a light blue curtain.

SUIT DUDE: If the Democrats ever want to win again, we need to focus on core issues, not secondary issues! Let’s start by putting reproductive rights behind that curtain.

Panel 2
The same scene, but now a woman who was in the front of the crowd in panel 1 is now gone.

SUIT: That’s better. Oh, and let’s put immigration issues behind the curtain. Black Lives Matter and all that race stuff better go too.

Panel 3
The same scene, but several more people – including a Latinx family and a Black man – are now out of sight. There’s now only eight people in the much-shrunk crowd (counting a baby held by a man in the crowd).

SUIT: Poverty issues and unions and lgb issues and single parents and definitely trans issues – get behind the curtain.

Panel 4
Now everyone is behind the curtain (which is bulging a bit due to how many people are crowded behind it), except the man in the suit. He turns to the viewer, and with a big grin and an expansive arm gesture, says:

SUIT: See? Now this is a winning coalition!

Posted in Elections, Immigration |

Muslim Ban

Cartoon by Barry

IF you like these cartoons, please support them at my Patreon.

TRANSCRIPT

Panel 1
A woman with cat’s-eye glasses is anxiously explaining something.
GLASSES WOMAN: The people who murder abortion doctors don’t represent Christianity.

Panel 2
A man in a suit and tie is explaining something, looking very concerned and raising his arms for emphasis.
SUIT MAN: The white guy who shot up a Sikh temple was just one guy. We can’t tar all white people with that brush!

Panel 3
A balding man in a black t-shirt is speaking calmly, his arms crossed.
BLACK TEE MAN: Sure, about 98% of mass murders are committed by men. But the vast majority of men are nothing like that!

Panel 4
A new character, a woman with black hair and reading from a smartphone, has entered. The three characters from the first three panels are reacting with panic and yelling.
NEW WOMAN: “Police speculate that the attacker may have been Muslim–”
ALL THREE OTHER CHARACTERS YELLING: MUSLIM BAN!

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons, Immigration, Social Justice |

We’re Not Anti-Immigrant, They Say

Cartoon by Barry

immigration-ban-1200

Transcript:

Panel 1
Two men are in a park, talking.

CAPTION: 2009
MAN 1: We don’t have anything against immigrants. Just against illegals.
MAN 2: Don’t call people “illegals.”

Panel 2
A TV screen plays. On the TV, a blonde woman cheerfully talks.

CAPTION: 2011
WOMAN: Anti-immigrant? That’s ridiculous. The GOP has no problem with immigrants who follow the rules.

Panel 3
A scowling man leans over a laptop, typing furiously, sitting in an empty coffee shop.

CAPTION: 2014
MAN (what he’s typing): That’s yet another libtard lie – that Republicans are anti-immigrant, just because we want to get illegals out!

Panel 4
A man wearing a “Make America Great Again” cap is speaking angrily.

CAPTION: 2016
MAN: It’s so unfair to call Republicans anti-immigrant! We’re just anti-illegal immigrant.

Panel 5
A shot of the White House. Two word balloons, indicating people inside the building speaking, come out of the white house.

CAPTION: Literally the first week of a Republican presidency

VOICE 1: Should our new immigration ban also include green card holders who are legal U.S. residents?
VOICE 2: Hell yes.

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons, Immigration, Social Justice |

Immigration and Jobs

Cartoon by Barry

PANEL 1
Illustration shows Alamar, a dark-skinned man wearing overalls and a hardhat, standing behind a partly built brick wall holding a brick in one hand and a trowel in the other.
CAPTION: Alamar came to the United States to find work. Alamar is a brick mason. He works hard and is very productive.

PANEL 2
Illustration shows Alamar continuing to work on the wall, while a woman nearby wearing a hardhat checks something off on her clipboard. Behind Alamar, a man walks up carrying a box. Behind that man, a large truck has pulled up.
CAPTION: Because Alamar is so productive, people in related jobs, like brickmakers, site supervisors, and truckers, have more work to do.

PANEL 3
Illustration shows Alamar, no longer wearing a hardhat, buying groceries from a cashier.
CAPTION: All those people, including Alamar, spend money in the local economy, on things like groceries and movies and diners and gas and clothes. All that spending creates more jobs.

PANEL 4
Illustration shows Alamar back at work on the wall. Next to him, an angry bald man is yelling.
CAPTION: That’s why Americans welcome Alamar with friendship and open arms.
ANGRY BALD MAN: GO HOME, YOU *@%#! JOB-STEALER!

And here’s the same cartoon, in French! Thanks to Immigration Libre for the translation.

immigre-alamar

Transcription:

Panel 1.Alamar a immigré en France pour trouver un travail. Alamar est maçon, il travaille dur et est très productif.

Panel 2.Grâce à sa productivité, Alamar procure du travail à ses collègues tel que les routiers, contremaitres et briquetier.

Panel 3.Toutes ces personnes ainsi qu’Alamar dépensent leur argent dans l’économie locale, sur de la nourriture, des places de cinémas, de l’essence ou encore des vétements. Toute cette consommation crée encore plus de travail.

Panel 4.Et c’est pour cette raison que les Français acceuillent Alamar chaleureusement.
Angry Man Chauve: *Rentre chez toi ****** de voleur de boulot!*

Posted in Economic cartoons, Immigration, Labor rights & Unions |

Who To Blame?

Cartoon by Barry

immigration_blame_1200

Script:

PANELS 1 & 2. The Federal Reserve, depicted as a professorial-looking man (bow tie, pipe), cheerily talking to a balding, working-class looking dude in an undershirt. Working class dude is listening without much expression.
FEDERAL RESERVE: hi! i’m the federal reserve! i practically run the economy! i COULD use my powers to lower unemployment, but INVESTORS don’t want that. in fact, whenever unemployment gets LOW, i make it go UP. because that’s what wall street wants. i purposely create unemployment!
PANELS 3 & 4 The Federal Reserve is gone, and in his place is The Banking Industry, depicted as a balding man in a vest, tie and jacket, and with dollar bills floating in the air around him. Banking Industry is even more cheerful than Federal Reserve was. Working class dude continues listening expressionlessly.
BANKING INDUSTRY: hey there! I’m the banking industry. i pack the government with my friends, and gamble wildly until i destroy the entire economy. after that, i’ll get bailed out with YOUR tax dollars. then i’ll foreclose on the horribly inequitable mortgage i sold you and take your home!
PANEL 5: Man wearing Uncle Sam hat has now replaced Banking Industry. Uncle Sam waves cheerily. Working Class Dude continues to listen expressionlessly.
UNCLE SAM: greetings! i’m your goverment!
PANEL 6: Uncle Sam leans in and whispers. Working Class Dude continues to listen expressionlessly.
UNCLE SAM: i make little GESTURES towards reform, but in the end i always take the banks’ side! because they totally OWN me!
PANELS 7 & 8: An Immigrant Dude replaces Uncle Sam, and speaks cheerfully. Immigrant Dude looks exactly like Working Class Dude, except his skin is a little darker. Working Class Dude continues to listen expressionlessly.
IMMIGRANT DUDE: hello! i’m an immigrant. i just want to work hard to feed my family.
PANEL 9: Working Class Dude yells very loudly and angrily; Immigrant Dude winces back in surprise.
WORKING CLASS DUDE: QUIT RUINING MY LIFE, YOU SELFISH BASTARD!!

Posted in Anti-racist cartoons, Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons, Immigration |