Title Panel
In large letters: “Our Top Ten Excuses For Ignoring Unemployment”
Below the title, a man prays and says: As the Bible teaches us: “Screw those who cannot help themselves.”

Panel 1
Cheerful looking man in tie, seated at desk: High unemployment means lower wages! Think how high profits will be if wages drop to zero!

Panel 2
Declaming woman: Just get rid of welfare! Once the welfare queens have to pay their OWN way, they’ll find jobs!
Cheerfully agreeing man: Like during the great depression!

Panel 3
Sour-looking man in expensive suit: As the OPPOSITION party, we are firmly opposed to ANYTHING getting done.

Panel 4
Screaming woman with large teeth: THE UNEMPLOYED ARE PARASITES! THEY DESERVE STARVATION!
Same woman, in smaller sub-dialog: I’ve been self-reliant since the day I was born!

Panel 5
Trembling, fearful man: Lower unemployment COULD raise inflation slightly, which MIGHT cause investors to make SLIGHTLY less money!
Same man, sub-dialogs: O the horror! I just peed my pants!

Panel 6
Cheery man on tennis court: I’LL FIGHT UNEMPLOYMENT! As soon as someone pays my six-figure lobbying fee.

Panel 7
Content-looking man in big suit, huge body, tiny head: DEFICIT SPENDING is WRONG, WRONG, WRONG! Unless it’s for something ESSENTIAL, like tax cuts for millionaires.

Panel 8
Senator in her office, buried above her elbows in a sea of cash: We Senators would LOVE to help, but we can’t lift our arms because we’re buried in Wall Street money.

Panel 9
Woman shaking her forefinger in the air: THE UNEMPLOYED ARE JUST LAZY! That’s what causes recessions! Sudden inexplicable national epidemics of LAZINESS!

Panel 10
Man standing on a path through the grass, picket fence in background. What’s in front of him might or might not be a cliff. He says: Who CARES? I’VE got enough money.