Objectivity Funnies

October 9th, 2008 Barry Posted in Barry's favorites, Media criticism | Comments Off on Objectivity Funnies

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels.

Panel 1:

This panel shows a TV, and on the TV is an anchorman shrugging and looking sad.

Title: Objectivity Funnies!
Subtitle: Featuring the “liberal” media!
Anchorman: I just want to be fair!

Panel 2:

The TV again, with the anchorman, now smiling vapidly, as he will for the remainder of the cartoon.

Anchorman: Welcome to “Science Chat.” Tonight: Climate Change. Here representing the left is Mr. Boring T. Expert.

Panel 3:

The Anchorman gestures to an academic looking man wearing a tie, Mr. Expert.

Anchorman: Mr. Expert has taught environmental science at Stanford and Yale and now works for NASA.

Panel 4:

The camera shifts and the smiling Anchorman gestures to his other guest, an eccentric looking man with a bow tie.

Anchorman: And representing the right, Mr. Whatt A. Tool, who has appeared on Breitbart and on Fox News!

Whatt A. Tool: Hi!

Panel 5:

Anchorman: Mr. Expert, is climate change a threat?
Mr. Expert: Absolutely! If we don’t act quickly, we face worldwide disaster!

Panel 6:

Whatt A. Tool: But Mr. Expert forgets that magical elves will eat all the extra heat!

Panel 7:

Anchorman: I see! Well, I could make a judgment call here, but that could open me up to charges of “bias.” I don’t want that.

Panel 8:

Anchorman: So I’ll just say there’s no way to resolve these complex technical claims! That’s right, they both have equal merit!

Panel 9:

Mr. Expert leans forward to directly address the camera, with a sad and frustrated expression.

Anchorman: Thank you and good night!
Whatt A. Tool: Great show!
Mr. Expert: Why do I even bother?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

This cartoon is from years before I started making a point of inserting chicken fat gags, so there’s not much. But in panel 2, a cheerful dog is watching TV. And in panel 7, the chyron at the bottom of the screen says “yadda yadda yadda.”