I am not a person who would ever do or say the things I said and did

January 29th, 2019 Barry Posted in Social Justice | No Comments »

Help me make more cartoons! Lots of people pledging $1 or $2 on my Patreon is what makes these cartoons possible.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an small extra “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip. Each panel features a man in a suit, standing at a podium, speaking directly at the viewer.

PANEL 1

The man presses one hand against his chest, in a “this is me” sort of attitude.

MAN: When I got drunk and said all those things about Jews and gays… That’s not me. It goes against everything I believe.

PANEL 2

The man spreads his arms wide, indicating that this is a big sentiment.

MAN: And when I was recorded using the “n word” over and over… That is not the type of person I am. I don’t have a racist bone in my body.

PANEL 3

He raises one index finger, making a concluding point.

MAN: As for pleading guilty for battering my wife… That’s not me. That’s not what I stand for.

MAN: And regarding my many other scandals: Nothing I’ve said or done has anything to do with me, my beliefs, or my character.

PANEL 4

He folds his arms and tips his head back, looking a bit above-it-all and a bit strict. He’s putting his metaphorical foot down.

MAN: And now that I’ve taken full responsibility, it’s time to move on. Let us never mention this again.

“KICKER” PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The same man, now smiling and holding up an Oscar.

MAN: And in conclusion, I’d like to thank the academy for this award…