Equal Opportunity, Not Equal Outcomes
July 30th, 2022 Barry Posted in Economic cartoons, Racism & Racists | No Comments »
If you like these cartoons, you’ll probably also like sticking your toes into a mud bank and wiggling them until the neon worms come to nestle between your toes. If you can manage to stay like that for 30 hours straight despite the exhaustion and increasing pain from not moving (lifehack: bring a pillow to sit on), you’ll gain the power to walk across water. The downside is, you’ll leave glowing neon footprints everywhere you go, making it easy for the secretive government agency to track you down and throw you into their secret facility for studying people with powers. And the worst part is, the smooth-faced people in low-end businesswear who run that agency don’t like cartoons at all. So to pre-emptively get revenge on them, remember to subscribe to my patreon before they lock you up. (And say hi to the neon worms from me!)
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two people walking on a path on a hillside as they talk. The person walking in front is a Black man, with a mustache and beard, wearing a t shirt with a sort of smiley face on it, except the face has a neutral expression rather than a smile. The second person is a white man with black hair in a tidy haircut, and a plaid sweater-vest over a collared shirt. For purposes of this transcript, I’m calling these two characters TSHIRT and VEST.
PANEL 1
Vest is speaking seriously as he talks to Tshirt. Tshirt is very enthused about what he’s hearing, smiling big and spreading his arms expansively.
VEST: It’s stupid to expect equal outcomes, because not everyone is equal. Some people are just born with less ability than others. What we need is equal opportunity.
TSHIRT: “Equal opportunity” sounds great!
PANEL 2
A close-up of Tshirt and he turns to look at Vest, enthusiastically smiling as he holds up a finger while making a point.
TSHIRT: Let’s start with a massive inheritance tax. Nothing‘s a more unequal opportunity than some people being born with millions while others start with nothing.
PANEL 3
A longer shot shows more of the environment; we can see plants with long leaves in the foreground, and trees in both the foreground and background. Tshirt, still very enthused, slaps a fist into a palm as he anticipates what might be done. Vest looks panicked, holding up his palms in a “whoa there!” gesture, eyes wide.
TSHIRT: We can use that money to make other opportunities equal. Like free college! And free health care for all! And—
VEST: STOP! I didn’t mean any of that stuff! I just mean Black people are less intelligent so we shouldn’t try to fix race inequality!
PANEL 4
Tshirt, looking calm but also angry, has turned to face Vest, with his hands on his hips. Vest has turned away from Tshirt, arms crossed, nose held high in a snooty expression.
TSHIRT: Oh, so you’re just a complete fucking racist.
VEST: Intolerant reactions like that are exactly why I prefer to say “equal opportunity.”
