A Right-Winger’s Guide to Labor Economics
August 8th, 2022 Barry Posted in Conservatives, Economic cartoons | No Comments »
For want of a shoe the shoelace was lost. For want of a shoelace the shoefly was lost. For want of a shoefly the flyover states were lost. For want of the flyover states the state of grace was lost. And the only way to get the state of grace back is to support these cartoons on Patreon. Weird how that works.
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has six panels. Every panel shows the same man, a white man with a mustache and thick hair that’s going white around the temples, who is speaking to the reader in front of an abstract color backgound. He’s wearing tan slacks, a light blue collared shirt, and a red striped necktie.
PANEL 1
A caption at the top of the panel, in big red letters, says:
A RIGHT-WINGER’S GUIDE TO LABOR ECONOMICS
The man in the necktie is looking sincere, his hands pressed together in front of him almost like he’s praying.
MAN: CEOs are infallible and holy and the government must get out of their way.
PANEL 2
The same man is suddenly exploding with anger, stomping his feet and waving his hands and yelling.
MAN: Workers are the worst! They need the constant threat of unemployment, homelessness and starvation to do anything!
PANEL 3
In a closer shot, the man looks out at the reader with an expression of bewilderment, as he shrugs.
MAN: If Luisa’s boss is illegally paying her $3.50 an hour, then $3.50 is exactly what she’s worth! I can think of no other explanation!
PANEL 4
Now the man has switched into a wise-professor-explaining pose, face calm, a finger raised to emphasize his point as he speaks.
MAN: High unemployment happens when millions of people get lazy all at once. It stays high until they all suddenly stop being lazy. Until the next recession, when they’re lazy again.
PANEL 5
A sudden, extreme closeup shows the man‘s face contorted with furry as he yells. (Wait, no, contorted with “fury,” not “furry.” I don’t know or want to know what being ”contorted with furry” is.) We can see that he’s trembling, and a little caption with an arrow pointing at him says “trembling with rage.”
The background, which up until now has mostly been a cool light purple, is bright red/pink in this panel.
MAN (yelling): When unions force rich people to pay employees more, that’s literal armed robbery!
PANEL 6
The “camera” pulls back to a full-figure shot, and his expression is now calm and smiling and a little smug. He’s got his arms crossed and is standing with one foot on the heel in a jaunty sort of pose.
MAN: Everything I say is the objective truth because I am super logical and definitely not just rationalizing my ideological beliefs and if you don’t agree then you suck at economics! LOL!
