Conan vs Copyright
August 8th, 2024 Barry Posted in Nadine Scholtes collaborations | No Comments »
This cartoon was drawn by Nadine Scholtes.
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows Conan the Barbarian, a shirtless, muscular barbarian dude with long hair, in a desert. He is carrying an axe and a shield.
PANEL 1
Conan, mounted on his drake (drakes are a kind of dragon; this one has four limbs and no wings), is under attack. Arrows fly through the air at him, and a couple of arrows are stuck in the shield that Conan has raised defensively. The drake has a panicked expression as it speaks.
DRAKE: Conan, we’re surrounded! What will we do?
CONAN: We will kill or we will die.
VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: STOP!
PANEL 2
Conan, carrying his axe, has gotten off his drake and is walking towards a new character, a man wearing glasses and a modern suit and tie. The main is reading off a piece of paper he’s holding. We’ll just call this character “LAWYER,” since that’s what he is.
LAWYER: On behalf of Conan Properties International, this is a cease and desist letter. You do not have permission to create this comic strip.
CONAN: Wrong, fool! I’m public domain in this country!
PANEL 3
With a smug expression, the Lawyer holds up the piece of paper for Conan to read. Conan leans down to read it, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.
LAWYER: Even if that’s so, we’ll still sue, and proving your case would take years and bankrupt you. That’s why we always win.
CONAN: Hmm…. I’ve got an idea.
PANEL 4
Conan is holding the lawyer’s decapitated head in one hand. Blood drips out of the bottom of the lawyer’s neck, and we can see his headless body lying on the ground in the background. In Conan’s other hand is a bloody axe, which Conan is dropping in surprise.
The lawyer speaks, an annoyed expression on his face. Conan reacts with shock and fear.
LAWYER: This really isn’t helping your case.
CONAN: By Crom! How are you STILL talking?
LAWYER: I’m a lawyer.
CHICKEN FAT WATCH
“Chicken Fat” is an old-fashioned cartoonist expression for what we might now call “Easter Eggs”: unimportant but hopefully amusing details the cartoonist sticks in.
In panel 1, one of the arrows that has landed on the ground appears to have a love letter wrapped around it.
In panel 2, the Drake is suddenly wearing a watch, which it checks impatiently.
In panel 4, the Drake is fearfully making a cross with its forefingers. Also, a vulture has shown up and is eyeing the corpse; the vulture is wearing a napkin tied around its neck.
