A Bunch of Einsteins
September 29th, 2026 Barry Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Economic cartoons | No Comments »
Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins!
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has six panels.
PANEL 1
A bearded man in a red cap is recording a video of himself.
JAKE: Why should taxpayers be on the hook for science research with no real-world value? If their research were worth anything, private industry would already fund it!
PANEL 2
Jake’s rant continues over a cross-section of the landscape, from farmland and suburbs to a city; his voice is coming from a little cabin. A fiber-optic cable runs underground all the way across the panel.
JAKE: Believe me, these researchers aren’t a bunch of Einsteins!
CAPTION: There wouldn’t be high-speed internet for this doofus’s videos without fiber optic cables!
PANEL 3
Under the ocean, a fiber-optic cable runs along the ocean floor. Word balloons coming from the fiber optic cable contain the icons of many internet-based services — Facebook, Zoom, Discord, Netflix, Minecraft, and more.
CAPTION: Without fiber optics, the internet would be far too slow for how we use it today.
PANEL 4
CAPTION: So where did fiber optics come from? Well…
CAPTION: 1966
In a laboratory break room, an excited scientist throws his arms wide while another scientist eats at a table.
SCIENTIST: Now that lasers exist, we can use ultrapure glass fibers to carry light long distances!
OTHER SCIENTIST: How does that do anything?
PANEL 5
CAPTION: 1960
A scientist proudly holds up a diagram of a newly invented device. Another scientist sits at a microscope.
SCIENTIST: I call it a “laser”! It’s based on the old theory of stimulated emission.
OTHER SCIENTIST: But Theo, what use is it?
PANEL 6
CAPTION: 1917
Outside a university, a pompous-looking man gestures indignantly as he reads a scientific paper. He’s speaking to a young Albert Einstein, who rolls his eyes.
MAN: Albert, where’s the practical value in this “stimulated emission” drivel? It’s a waste of taxpayer money!
CHICKEN FAT WATCH
In panel 1, Jake’s video is titled “Harsh Truths with Jake.” Signs behind him read “Please love me” with three thumbs-up symbols, “Need More attention” with a notification-bell symbol, and “Buy my sponsored doodads.”
In panel 3, the octopus is simultaneously listening to headphones, drinking coffee, using a phone, and washing dishes. A whale with swims overhead, looking at her phone. A shipwreck has a figurehead wearing a snorkel and looking at a phone.
In panel 4, a note taped to the refrigerator reads: “Do NOT store experiments in the break room fridge! —Management.”
In panel 5, the technical diagram has parts labeled “SCIENCE STUFF,” “THINGY,” “MORE SCIENCE STUFF,” and “PEW! PEW!”
In panel 6, the statue pedestal reads: “Friedrich Wilhelm University. Publicly Funded. Why Is This Sign Written in English?”
