Everyone Knows Elections Are Rigged
September 30th, 2026 Barry Posted in Elections | No Comments »
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has four panels.
PANEL 1
On a city sidewalk, a balding man in a shirt and tie is talking insistently to a purple-haired passerby with glasses and tattoos.
MAN: Hey, pal, guess what? They’re letting millions of illegals into the country to vote for Democrats!
PANEL 2
In a kitchen, the same man has stuck his head and shoulders through a window into the kitchen, shaking a finger emphatically as he lectures a startled woman.
MAN: The Democrats’ dirty vote machine is so diabolical it’s impossible to “prove,” but everybody knows it stinks!
PANEL 3
In a park, the same man has grabbed another person by the shoulder and is shouting in their face.
MAN: Never mind “proof.” Your elections are stolen! It’s all rigged! Democracy is dead!!
PANEL 4
Close-up of a hand holding a phone. On the screen, the same man—now smiling and calm—is speaking on Fox News.
MAN: Of course there’s proof elections are crooked! Because if they aren’t, why do so many Americans think they are?
CHICKEN FAT WATCH
Panel 1: Graffiti on the wall says: “I have tagged this wall, and therefore I have become immortal”; “20 percent is the new 15 percent”; “Pore Jud is Daid”; “BG”; “BG yes again”; and “The Vanishing Point is the God of Us All.” Also on the wall, a purple cartoon bunny, labeled “Evil Bunny,” is surrounded by flying knives.
In the store window, ad posters include a cigarette brand called “DIE,” a cupcake with a happy worm crawling out of it, Beaker from the Muppets, and a column of comic-book sound effects: “Bim Bam Boom Boot Toot.”
A newspaper on the sidewalk is called the Background Tribune. The headline reads “Crucial Headline In Left Corner Cropped Off. Thousands of Deaths Blamed on a Cartoonist’s Laziness. ‘Whoops’ says the jerk.” The headline on the lower left is cut off by the panel border, but in my mind it was “Whomp Whomp.”
A bottle lying in the gutter is labeled “Hootch Juice.”
Panel 2: A cereal box is labeled, “Your Childhood Cereal You Keep Eating Even Though It’s Bad,” and promises the “Same Awful Taste!” On the side of the cereal box, it says “100% 90%” and then in small letters “are both numbers.”
In a coffee mug on the counter, a mouse wearing a purple hat sits thoughtfully.
On a shelf, cookbooks include Cook Book, Schnook Book, You Can Cook! and Just Kidding, You’re Awful! There’s also a glaring bald head with a cigar.
Panel 3: A notice nailed to a tree reads: “NOTICE: People who read tiny background text will be sent to bed with no supper. —Your Mom.” Nearby, the Evil Bunny from panel one is partly emerging from a hole in the ground, smoking a joint and holding a teddy bear. Woodstock from “Peanuts” is sitting on a tree branch.
Panel 4: The Fox News logo says “Nox Fews.” The news crawl says “Muffin Man: ‘No one knows the real me’” and “Single best celebrity dies. ‘Whoopsies’ says God.” (I wrote that one the day Dolly passed away.) Thumbnails for other stories are headlined “Global Warming: FAKE” and “If global warming isn’t fake then it’s GOOD NEWS!” with a picture of a smiling sun wearing sunglasses and enjoying the beach.
Everyone Knows Elections Are Rigged | Barry Deutsch on Patreon
