A Brief History of Brief Wars

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. Each panel shows a powerful leader early in a war.

Panel 1

A smiling King George III sits at a fancy writing desk, feather quill in hand.

CAPTION: King George III. November 1776.

KING GEORGE: We’ve taken the city of New York! The rebel army will surely quit soon!

CAPTION: All dialogue paraphrased from real statements.

Panel 2

General MacArthur, seen from behind, stands admiring himself in a mirror, grinning around his famous corncob pipe.

CAPTION: General MacArthur. November 1950.

MACARTHUR: Our troops in Korea will be home by Christmas!

Panel 3

Vice President Dick Cheney, grinning broadly, sits in an office.

CAPTION: Vice President Cheney. March 2003.

CHENEY: Iraq will take weeks, not months.

Panel 4

On a Fox News TV broadcast, President Obama smiles while holding up a forefinger.

CAPTION: President Obama. March 2011.

OBAMA: Libya will take days, not weeks.

Panel 5

President Trump sits in bed, wearing pajamas and tapping on his phone.

CAPTION: President Trump. March 2026.

TRUMP: We won! In the first hour it was over!

Panel 6

AI President Lincoln, a cartoon Abraham Lincoln head on a round video screen, held suspended in the air with tubes, is speaking in front of a podium.

CAPTION: AI President Lincoln. May 2045.

AI PRESIDENT LINCOLN: The war on Canada will be over fifteen minutes before it begins!

Chicken fat watch

In the King George panel, a bottle is labeled “Royal Brain Tonic. Contains arsenic and mercury.” A strange tentacle is reaching up to the window. The note George is writing says “I have no idea what,” an allusion to my brain drawing a blank when it was time to fill that in. A crown is hanging on a coat rack. The dog is wearing a peruke (aka a curly white wig). There’s a framed portrait of Lucy from “Peanuts,” wearing a crown.

In the MacArthur panel, MacArthur is admiring himself in the mirror (MacArthur was famously an egotist). A “MASH” lunchbox has a picture of Hawkeye holding a cocktail. The bird on MacArthur’s hat is holding some marijuana and a missile. There’s a baseball above its head, and the ribbon it’s holding says “Most Overdone Hat.”

In the Cheney panel, there’s a trophy labeled Best Sneer 2003. A framed note says: Dear Dicky, please don’t shoot me in my face and then make me apologize. Love, Harry.

In the Obama panel, the Fox News logo actually says “New Foxes.” The chyron says “Obama declared king of snobs,” and the second line says “fam tortures cartoonist with incessant sports TV.” On the wall in the background is a basketball hoop, and a framed Nobel Peace Prize, labeled “Presented to Barack Obama in recognition of his achievements in not being George Bush.” A mouse in the foreground is reading “The Cider Mouse Rules.”

In the Trump panel, a huge container on the nightstand is labeled “Tub o’ Orange: executive face goop.” Trump’s pajamas are covered with his “T” logo, which is also on his pillow. There’s a framed picture of Greenland inside a heart. There’s a framed print of Trump’s sketch of a woman’s nude torso (which he infamously sent to Jeffrey Epstein). A note lying on the bed says “Dear Don, you are the GREATEST smartest strongest leader EVER! Yrs, Don.” There’s a hole in the wall near the floor, and we can see an eye peering out.

In the AI Lincoln panel, protesters hold signs saying “Don’t blame me, I voted for AI Nixon” and “Unfair, Unreal, Unplug.” The podium has a seal with the X (formerly Twitter) logo and the words Formerly Known As The United States of America. The AI Lincoln on the screen is not wearing a hat, but a stovepipe hat is perched atop the screen.

RECEIPTS

Panel One: In a letter to Lord North, dated November 4, 1776, King George III wrote:

Nothing can have been better planned, nor with more alacrity executed, than the taking of the city of New York, and I trust the rebell [sic] army will soon be dispersed.

Panel Two: On November 28, 1950, General MacArthur wrote:

“You tell the boys that when they get to the Yalu River they are going home. I want to make good on my statement that they are going to eat Christmas dinner at home.”

Panel Three: On March 16, 2003, appearing on “Face the Nation,” Cheney was asked if he thought the war would be “a long war or a short war?” Cheney said it would go “relatively quickly.” Pressed for more specifics, Cheney said “Weeks rather than months.”

Panel Four: From ABC News, March 18, 2011:

President Obama told a bipartisan group of members of Congress today that he expects the U.S. would be actively involved in any military action against Libya for “days, not weeks,” after which he said the U.S. would take more of a supporting role, sources tell ABC News.

Panel Five: In a speech in Kentucky on March 11, 2026, Trump said:

Let me tell you, we’ve won. You know, you never like to say too early you won. We won. We won the — in the first hour, it was over. We won.

No receipts for panel six. :-p

A Brief History of Brief Wars | Barry Deutsch on Patreon

Posted in History, Imperialism & War |

Tehran

Cartoon by Barry

(All dialog taken from “Dark Like Our Future,” The Guardian, March 8 2026.)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all showing a woman in her thirties in a modest but nice apartment.

PANEL 1

The woman pulls back a curtain, looking at the darkness outside.

CAPTION: “Negin” – not her real name – lives in Tehran.

NEGIN: The situation is so frightening it’s hard to describe. Smoke has covered the city. I have severe shortness of breath and burning in my eyes and throat, and many others feel the same.

PANEL 2

Negin turns away from the window and speaks directly to us.

NEGIN: I ask those who have the ability, especially foreign media, to reflect on this situation. What are people supposed to do under these conditions?

PANEL 3

Negin speaks angrily.

NEGIN: If someone has a problem with the Islamic Republic government, that’s one thing – But not with us, the people! This is no longer just a human rights violation.

PANEL 4

Negin sits on the sofa, slumping and looking down.

NEGIN: It is truly anti-human behavior.

A footnote below the cartoon says “Dialog quoted from “Dark Like Our Future,” The Guardian, march 8 2026.”

Tehran | Patreon

Posted in Environmental cartoons, Imperialism & War |

Beware the Narco Terrorists

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Nadine Scholtes.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels. They show two people, a Black woman wearing a white turtleneck, and a white woman wearing a red MAGA cap, talking in a park.

PANEL 1

Turtleneck is holding a smartphone and speaking angrily. Red Cap is taken a bit aback.

TURTLENECK: Look at this! Trump had the Navy shoot another boat of “narco-terrorists” in international waters! No evidence, no trial, just an execution!

PANEL 2

Turtleneck points at Red Cap accusingly; Red Cap raises her palms placatingly.

TURTLENECK: How can you condone this? What’s wrong with you?

RED CAP: Calm down! There’s no need to be uncivil! We can disagree and still be reasonable.

PANEL 3

Turtleneck, still angry, walks away muttering; Red Cap smiles and waves bye.

TURTLENECK: Mumble grumble stupidnazi fascists

RED CAP: Go touch some grass. Bye!

PANEL 4

Red Cap continues smiling and waving bye.

PANEL 5

Still smiling and waving, Red Cap is making a call on her cell phone.

RED CAP: Hello, U.S. Navy? I’m calling to report a narco-terrorist.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is obsolete cartoonists’ lingo for Eater Eggs.

PANEL 1 – A happy little mouse is holding a pink balloon. Far in the background, a bird soars.

PANEL 2 – The mouse, now sad, has lost its balloon, which floats into the sky. The bird flies to the balloon.

PANEL 3 – The bird returns the balloon to the again-happy mouse.

PANEL 4 – The MAGA hat reads “Make America Spell Agian”

PANEL 5 – The MAGA hat reads “Mash America’s Grapes Again”

Beware The Narco Terrorists | Patreon

Posted in Imperialism & War, Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

Why Are You Singling Out Israel?

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels.

PANEL 1

An outdoor park environment. In the background, a bearded man with a blue shirt holds a “Save Gaza” sign. In the foreground, a man in a polo shirt and a woman in a red skirt and black vest are talking about the bearded man.

POLO: Why does that guy single out Israel for criticism? Lots of countries do bad things!

VEST: I’ll ask him.

PANEL 2

The woman in the vest has approached the bearded man. From this angle, we can see that under the vest, she’s wearing a shirt with the Israeli flag on it.

VEST: There are so many evil governments, and yet you’ve decided to protest the only Jewish state. Do you have something against Jews?

PANEL 3

The bearded man earnestly replies.

BEARD: Huh. I guess I was raised to care about Israel. We talked about Israel a lot in Hebrew school. When other kids fundraised for UNICEF we donated our allowances for growing trees in Israel.

PANEL 4

The bearded man looks angrier.

BEARD: Also, I’m American. We give tons of weapons to Israel. So when Israel commits genocide, my tax dollars enable it.

PANEL 5

The bearded man smiles; the vest woman looks unconvinced.

BEARD: Besides, no one can focus equally on everything. I bet you pay more attention to Israel. If it’s okay for you to prioritize some issues, why isn’t it okay for me?

PANEL 6

The vest woman has returned to talking with the guy in the polo shirt.

POLO: So what did he say?

VEST: It’s like we thought, he just hates Jews.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is antiquated cartoonists’ slang for amusing but unimportant details in the art.

SHIRT: The bearded guy’s t-shirt has an image of a lit candle, then an image of a light bulb, then an image of the sun.

TATTOOS: The tattoos on bearded guy’s arms tell a little five panel story, showing a baby bunny growing up, falling in love, having oodles of babies, and finally dying.

PANEL 2: Charlie Brown is in the background.

PANEL 3: A flyer tapes to the tree says “LOST: Bad Dog,” in in smaller print, “Bad bad doggie! No! If found, do not give treats.” The photo shows a dog smoking a cigarette.

PANEL 6: The plant on the windowsill is Audrey II from “Little Shop of Horrors.”

Graffiti on the wall says “Why are you reading this?” and “BG is here.” (BG stands for “background”). It’s impossible to read, but the graffiti behind the woman says “Bilbo Lives.”

Why Are You Singling Out Israel? | Patreon

Posted in Imperialism & War |

(Not) All Jews Are Welcome

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all showing the front steps of a brownstone building.

PANEL 1

A middle-aged man wearing a kippah stands on the landing atop the steps, making an expansive, welcoming gesture. A woman is standing on the steps talking to him.

MAN: Welcome to the Jewish community! All Jews are welcome!

WOMAN: Are you sure? I’m Jewish, but I don’t keep kosher.

MAN: No matter! A Jew’s a Jew.

PANEL 2

The same man is now talking to someone else, a young guy in a striped t-shirt.

YOUNG GUY: I don’t observe Shabbat. And I never had a Bar Mitzvah.

MAN: That’s no problem! Judaism is for all Jews!

PANEL 3

The same man is now talking to a young woman with curly black hair.

WOMAN: I was raised Jewish, but now I’m an atheist.

MAN: You’re still one of us!

WOMAN: And I’m against Israel’s genocide in Gaza.

PANEL 4

The woman, looking dizzy, is lying on the pavement at the bottom of the stairs, her purse a few feet away. The man, off-panel, yells from the top of the stairs.

MAN: AND STAY OUT!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is long-hibernating cartoonist slang for funny but unimportant details in a comic.

PANEL 1: The back of the woman’s hoodie says “BAND NAME.”

PANEL 3: Tattoos on the woman’s arm say “This That Other.” There’s also a tattoo of Ignatz Mouse from Krazy Kat.

PANEL 4: There’s a rat on the sidewalk, who is wearing glasses and smoking a pipe. The woman’s tattoos now include a light bulb with a thought balloon showing a lit-up light bulb, Leela from Futurama, a razor crossing a rolling pin, and a slice of pie. On her other arm, tattoos say “Pow Zap” and there’s a tattoo of Krazy from Krazy Kat.

A newspaper lying on the sidewalk is called “Daily Backgrounder.” The top headline is “Wayward Song To Carry On: Forecasters Predict Peace When Done.” Smaller headlines says “Hidden Pigeons Emerge For Cyanide-Coated Peanuts: Bird Community Vows Revenge” and “Body Found In Chicago: Victim Looks Like Jigsaw Puzzle With Pieces Missing.” (All three headlines are references to songs I like; I suspect my younger readers will have a tougher time identifying all three songs.)

(Not) All Jews Are Welcome | Patreon

Posted in Imperialism & War, Social Justice |

Why We Say “As A Jew”

Cartoon by Barry

This comic was drawn by Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two women having an argument on a grassy area of a college campus (we can see a definitely collegiate brick building in the background). Both of them look like college students.

The student on the left has wavy green hair and is wearing a dark tank top with ripped armholes and collar and a drawing of a possum skull on the front. She has a septum piercing and is wearing leather boots.

The student on the right has wavy brunette hair and is rather nattily dressed in a blue sweater vest over a pink front-button shirt, rectangular glasses, and heeled boots.

Let’s call these two GREENIE and GLASSES.

PANEL 1

Greenie talks to Glasses with an earnest expression; Glasses has turned away from Greenie with her arms crossed, and looks annoyed.

GREENIE: I am Jewish, and as a Jew, I think what Israel’s doing is horr-

GLASSES: “As a Jew.” Hah! You know why anti-Israel Jews always say they’re speaking “as a Jew”?

PANEL 2

Greenie spreads her arm in an “explainy” sort of way, but it cut off by Glasses, who turns to face her, with an angry expression and pointing a finger accusingly at Greenie.

GREENIE: Because-

GLASSES: You say it because you want to tokenize yourself! You use being Jewish as a way to slander your people.

PANEL 3

A shot from Greenie’s POV, showing Glasses leaning forward, a furious expression on her face, pointing straight at the viewer like Uncle Sam in the “wants you” poster.

GLASSES: You “AsAJew” types are cosplay Jews! You’re modern day kapos giving comfort to the enemy! You’re the Jew who turns in other Jews to the Nazis because you hope you’ll be spared! And that’s why you said “as a Jew!”

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of the panel says “A MINUTE EARLIER.”

Greenie is looking annoyed, arms akimbo, as she listens to Glasses, who is declaiming with one pointer finger held high in the air.

GLASSES: You wouldn’t say that if you were Jewish!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In panel one, on a tree in the background, a squirrel with a tiny blue backpack is crouched on a branch. In panel two, the squirrel has launched itself into the air, and the backpack has unfurled a blue parachute. In panel four – which takes place before panel one – we see the squirrel back in the tree, poking its head out of a hole.

There’s a newspaper lying on the ground near Glasses’ feet. The name of the newspaper is “Background Daily.” In panel one, the front page says “This repeats three times in this comic. No need to read the other ones!” In panel two, it says “seriously you can stop reading this.” And in panel four, it says “This headline takes place before panel one.”

Why We Say “As A Jew” | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Imperialism & War |

Free Speech on Campus

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has three panels. The first two panels are normal-sized, while the third panel is gigantic.

PANEL ONE

A man and a woman are walking together, the woman speaking. Neither of them are students, judging from their age and their professional dress.

The man has white-blonde hair and glasses, and is wearing a blue shirt with a black tie. He looks worried. The woman has a red blouse and a black skirt, and has her hair pulled up into a bun. She is holding up a finger in a “this is my point” gesture, and is calm but a bit fervent.

For this and the next panel, the background is blank.

WOMAN: Students have a right to speak their minds without fear of being shamed or shunned. free speech on campus is in danger of being wiped out!

PANEL TWO

The two continue walking. The woman, waving her arms a bit as she gets passionate and a bit angry, continues speaking.

WOMAN: At some schools, students protested and heckled speakers! We must protect free speech from woke student totalitarians!

PANEL THREE

The man and women have come to a stop, and are looking at a protest. The man, looking concerned, speaks to the woman. The woman looks over the protest with a pleased expression, her arms folded.

The main focus in this panel is the protest – and even more, the cops in full riot gear attacking the protest. A huge line of cops in formation are marching towards the protest. Cops are leading away handcuffed protesters; one protester is being held on the ground and beaten. The protesters who aren’t being arrested look terrified. Protest signs lie on the ground.

MAN: So is this a threat to free speech?

WOMAN: No, this is fine.

Free Speech on Campus | Patreon

Posted in Imperialism & War, Social Justice |

So Much In Common

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same scene: Two women on a suburban or urban-but-not-the-core sidewalk. It looks like winter; the women are both wearing puffy jackets, and the trees are bare.

The woman on the left has black hair in a ponytail, is wearing a dark purple knit hat, a blue puffy coat, and dark pants. Let’s call her HAT.

The woman on the right has round glasses, reddish-brown hair, and is wearing a black puffy winter vest over a long-sleeve shirt, and a polka-dot skirt. Let’s call her SKIRT.

PANEL 1

Hat is holding her phone away from her face, as if she just finished a phone call. She’s got her back to Skirt, but is looking in skirt’s direction, and is slightly surprised to be addressed. Skirt is speaking to Hat with a sincere expression.

SKIRT: Excuse me… I overheard what you said on the phone, and I completely agree! This whole war comes down to the right to self-defense.

PANEL 2

Hat has turned towards Skirt. Both women have somewhat angry expressions, but the mood (I hope) isn’t yelling at each other, but a mutual griping session. Hat has lifted one hand in an “explaining my point” gesture, while Skirt has her arms akimbo.

HAT: Exactly! No other nation is expected to endure attack after attack without fighting back!

SKIRT: It’s unfortunate that some civilians die. But we’re not the ones who started it!

PANEL 3

They get more into their griping; hat is holding her hands in fists and leaning forward, and Skirt is waving her arms and leaning forward.

HAT: Right! They could end this anytime, but they don’t want to!

SKIRT: We’ve got no choice! We’re defending our right to exist!

PANEL 4

Hat turns a bit away as the conversation ends. Both of them look very pleased. The dialog this panel is all in thought balloons.

HAT (thought): So nice to meet another Israel supporter!

SKIRT (thought): So nice to meet another Hamas supporter!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In panel three, there’s a newspaper littering the ground. If you look super closely, the paper has the headline CARTOONIST LOSES PATRONS, and in smaller print, “Whoops! Says Drawing Man.” The newspaper’s photo shows a stickfigure man shrugging.

So Much In Common | Patreon

Posted in Imperialism & War |

How Sanctions Usually Work

Cartoon by Barry

This comic is drawn by Kevin Moore.

Posted in Imperialism & War, Kevin Moore collaborations |

Consequences in Yemen

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a small “kicker” panel under the bottom panel.

PANEL 1
Two men are talking. One, representing the US, is a man in a Hawaiian shirt wearing a stars-and-strips “Uncle Sam” top hat. The other man, representing Saudi Arabia, has glasses and is dressed in Saudi-style robes similar to what Salman bin Abdulaziz Al Saud wore when he met with President Trump. Top Hat is angrily spreading his arms; Glasses is looking downward, apparently abashed.

TOP HAT: Saudi Arabia, your atrocities in Yemen have gone too far!
GLASSES: Yes, I know.

PANEL 2
Top Hat continues to yell angrily. Glasses sadly shrugs.

TOP HAT: I mean, hitting a school bus with a missile! A school bus!
GLASSES: A tragic mistake.

PANEL 3
Top Hat sternly points a finger; Glasses has turned his back on Top Hat and looks a bit bored.

TOP HAT: You can’t just blow civilians up with missiles! Or there will be consequences!
GLASSES: Understood.

PANEL 4
The “camera” backs way up, and we can see that Top Hat has huge carts full of huge missiles with him, dwarfing the two characters. They both look pleased now, Glasses looking up at the missiles.

TOP HAT: Glad that’s behind us. Also, I brought this month’s missile shipment.
GLASSES: Could we double our order?

KICKER PANEL (tiny panel below the bottom of the strip).
Glasses is speaking cheerily to Barry the Cartoonist.

GLASSES: To compensate the innocent Yeminis we killed, we’re giving a billion dollars to U.S. weapons manufacturers.

Posted in Imperialism & War |

Pepsi, Good Will Ambassador

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Environmental cartoons, Imperialism & War, Sexism & Misogyny |

Why Nestle Isn’t Racist

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Imperialism & War, Racism & Racists |

Freeing Women In Iraq

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Imperialism & War, Sexism & Misogyny |

Free Trade: Freedom To Do As U.S. Corporations Demand

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Economic cartoons, Imperialism & War |

Sweet, Sweet Denial

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Economic cartoons, Imperialism & War, Labor rights & Unions, Racism & Racists |

The Iraq Hawk’s Best-Case Scenario

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Imperialism & War |

Israel Prepares To Negotiate

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Imperialism & War |

Corporate Humor

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Economic cartoons, Imperialism & War, Labor rights & Unions |

Can’t They Just Water Their Crops With Coke?

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons, Environmental cartoons, Imperialism & War, Racism & Racists |

With God On Their Side / My God

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Barry's favorites, Imperialism & War, LGBT cartoons, Religion and Atheism, Sexism & Misogyny |