Can We Call It Fascism Yet?

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and the amazing Mike Lawrence.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

Panel 1

The year is 2024. A WOMAN and a MAN sit at a table in a coffee shop, looking at their phones.

WOMAN: The Supreme Court says no official act by the president can be a crime! Can we call it fascism yet?

MAN: Of course not. Don’t be hysterical.

Panel 2

The year is 2025. The WOMAN and MAN stand outside in snowy weather; the woman is pointing to something on her phone.

WOMAN: ICE invaded Minneapolis! Masked government agents are kidnapping people! Can we call it fascism now?

MAN: No! It’s bad, but let’s not exaggerate.

Panel 3

The year is 2026. The WOMAN and MAN sit on a park bench. She reads from her phone.

WOMAN: The White House says it’ll eradicate “Antifa militants” and ignore civil liberties. Can we call it fascism yet?

MAN: Enough with the doomerism!

Panel 4

The year is 2030. Armed, armored government troops stand nearby. The WOMAN begins to speak, but the frightened MAN stops her.

WOMAN: Can we—

MAN: Shhh! Do you want to get us arrested?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an ancient cartooning term for fun but unimportant details in the art.

PANEL 1: The coffee shop is called “Bump & GRIND (not a strip club).” The menu offers “brewtentious latte, true brew, vessel w/ pestle, dragon flagon, palace chalice, hot tea” and in a section marked “Pies,” offers “whim pie, pup pie, gup pie, hip pie, and yup pie.” Groucho Marx’s decapitated head is in the pastry case. The extremely embarrassed-looking barista is reading a book called 5000 Shades of Gray. The coffee mugs have a logo consisting of the words “BAD LOGO” arranged around a pile of poop. A tentacle is reaching up from under the table to grab the pie.

PANEL 2: There’s a “Calvin and Hobbes” snowman in the background. The logo on his jacket says “pradagonia.” A bird in the tree is bundled up with a scarf and knit hat.

PANEL 3: Fozzie Bear peers out of a hollow in the tree. A groundhog emerges from a hole in the ground. The MAN’s boba tea appears to be filled with eyeballs. The man’s t-shirt says “REBEL ™”.

PANEL 4: Graffiti reads “Romanes Eunt Domus” and “We ♥ Leader.” There appears to be a shark swimming in the filthy water beside the sidewalk.

Can We Call It Fascism Yet? | Barry Deutsch on Patreon

Posted in Mike Lawrence collaborations, Right-wingers |

The Search

Cartoon by Barry

This strip is drawn by the awesome Mike Lawrence, who really went wild with the chicken fat!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows two women hanging out in a living room, on a sofa. The first wears a bright yellow t-shirt, so I’ll call her YELLOW; the second is in white t-shirt with blue jeans, so I’ll call her JEANS.

PANEL 1

Yellow is reading something on her phone, while Jeans turns and begins rooting through her backpack.

YELLOW: This article says that ICE agents are really unhappy… The job is stressful and they’re not getting the bonuses and bennies they were promised.

JEANS: Hold on.

PANEL 2

Jeans has pulled a huge electric microscope out of her backpack.

YELLOW: Er… What’s that?

JEANS: It’s my portable microscope. It has 300 times magnification but with digital zoom it’s more like 1000 times.

PANEL 3

Jeans enthusiastically describes her microscope.

JEANS: It has a built in stabilizer and eight levels of LCD lighting! With this, I can see even the smallest objects.

PANEL 4

Yellow is puzzled. A snarl on her face, Jeans turns to the microscope’s screen.

YELLOW: Okay, but why?

JEANS: I’m looking for a violin tiny enough.

CHICKEN FAT

“Chicken fat” is long-dead terminology for odd little details cartoonists slip in art.

PANEL 1: The lamp is a “leg lamp,” like in A Christmas Story, except that it’s a hairy leg in a sneaker and gym sock.

There’s a cat napping on the sofa. There’s a framed picture of Dr. Teeth (from The Muppets) on the wall. There’s a little doll with a green face hanging by the neck from the lamp pull. Jeans has a tattoo that says “tattoo.” The magazines on the coffee table are “US” and “THEM”; the person on the cover of “THEM” is pointing a finger at “US.” The side table drawer is open, and in the drawer a couple of mice are sitting on a tiny sofa and watching a TV with mice news hosts on it.

PANEL 2: The cat is reading a book entitled 43 Places To Hide a Hairball. The backpack’s brand name is “Manspürt.” Jeans has a tattoo that says “Advertise Here.”

PANEL 3: There’s a framed picture of “Bleeding Gums” Murphy (from The Simpsons) on the wall. The cat is playing with a paddle ball, but instead of a ball there’s a panicked mouse. A magazine on the coffee table is “THINGS,” with a coffee mug and a rubik’s cube on the cover. Jeans’ tattoo now says “Eat At Joe’s!” Jeans is wearing one of those t-shirts with a list of people in Helvetica font, which says “Hel & Vet & Ica.”

PANEL 4: The cat is looking over their shoulders at the screen. The apple logo on the back of the microscope has now turned into an apple core logo.

TATTOO PROGRESSIONS: The leg lamp has a tattoo that says “Debbie.” In panel two, “Debbie” is crossed out, with “Donna” written beneath it. In panel three, “Donna” has also been crossed out, replaced with “Donny.”

Jeans has a tattoo of a baseball bat in panel one, which is a bat (the mammal) in panel two, and Batman in panel three.

The Search | Patreon

Posted in Mike Lawrence collaborations, Right-wingers, Social Justice |

I Can’t Believe They Deported Carol!

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and new guest artist Mike Lawrence.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a frizzy-haired guy, and in each panel he’s in a different setting talking to a different person.

PANEL 1

Frizzy and a woman in a green shirt are on a downtown sidewalk.

WOMAN: I voted for Trump, but I didn’t know he’d deport good moms like Carol.

FRIZZY: And now that you know, you’ll vote for someone who’ll fix it, right?

WOMAN: Eh.

PANEL 2

Frizzy and a sad-looking man in a blue baseball cap and American flag t-shirt are sitting at a bar.

MAN: We all love Carol. She’s so honest and hard working. What they did to her is just awful.

FRIZZY: Exactly! So next time you’ll vote for someone for giving people like Carol legal ways to stay?

MAN: Well…

PANEL 3

Frizzy is standing in front of a church, talking to an anxious woman wearing a nice dress.

WOMAN: Carol’s a regular at church! And such a big heart! She doesn’t belong in a detention center.

FRIZZY: Um… So now you’ll vote differently?

WOMAN: I didn’t say that.

PANEL 4

In a park, a man in a plaid shirt looks a little downcast; Frizzy is yelling and in a panic.

MAN: I can’t believe they’re doing this to Carol. Poor Carol.

FRIZZY: SO NOW YOU’LL VOTE DIFFERENTLY RIGHT?!?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an archaic cartoonists’ term for unimportant but fun details in the art.

PANEL 1 – The bus sign says “14 to the cool people.” (Mike used to live near, and I still live near, the number 14 bus line).

The sign in the store window says “50% OFF! All 50% off signs now 50% off.”

A child in the store window is holding up a handmade sign saying “trapped plees call mommy.” An ad on the bus stop bench shows a grinning man, and says “LAWYER ready to sue your pants off since 2019.” Small print on the bench says “blah blah blah Bob Loblaws law blog blah money money gimmie gimmie (503) 867-5309.”

Poster on wall says “That Old Band From Your Youth – Surprisingly Still Alive Tour,” with a picture of a walker in a spotlight.

Another poster says “WANTED For Crimes Against Inking,” with a picture of a badly-drawn face surrounded by ink splatters.

A coffee cup on the ground says “Cap’n Boomer,” a Moby Dick reference.

PANEL 2 – A poster on the wall says “Putz Blue Ribbon swill.”

The mustache man has a tattoo of Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony. His hat has the logo of the UCI (University of California Irvine) Anteaters, except it says UTI. His beer is called “Lowlife.”

A man in the background is wearing a “KPop Demon Hunter.”

There’s gum stuck under the counter.

Under the counter are three rats. The first rat has a mustache and is holding a tiny beer bottle, like the mustache man above him. The second is playing darts. The third is exploring the inside of a mug.

PANEL 3 – The church has a “Church of Christian Love” sign with room for three notices to be pinned to it. The first notice: “Liberals, homos and trans stay out!” The second: “Monday Rapture.” The third: “Tuesday Potluck.”

PANEL 4 – There’s a person sitting high in a tree in the background. In the other tree, Beaker from the Muppets is peeking out of a hollow.

I Can’t Believe They Deported Carol | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Immigration, Mike Lawrence collaborations, Right-wingers |