TITLE: Top Ten Ways Teacher’s Unions Caused the Economic Crisis (note: the words “teacher’s unions” are in a dripping blood font).
GRINNING DUDE IN SUIT WHO IS WEARING A FAKE HALO: Brought to you by the coalition of completely innocent bankers!
BALDING DUDE IN SUIT, WITH PEDANTIC ATTITUDE: Maybe bankers wouldn’t destroy the economy if SOMEBODY had done a better job teaching them addition!
DUDE IN SPORTS SHIRT: Two words: SUMMER VACATIONS.
GRINNING WOMAN HOLDING BIBLE: If teachers allowed prayer in class and didn’t teach evolution, GOD wouldn’t have FORSAKEN THE ECONOMY!
MAN SITTING ON HUGE PILE OF MONEY: Teacher pay sucks MILLIONS from the economy that could otherwise be spent in more PRODUCTIVE sectors of the economy. Like finance!
YET ANOTHER BALDING DUDE WITH A NECKTIE, SCREAMING AND GESTURING WILDLY: UNIONS ARE EEEVIILLLL!! BOOGA BOOOGA!
SMILING WOMAN WITH NICE HAIR: When we just GIVE children an education, we kill their instinct for the FREE MARKET! First graders need more skin in the game!
MAN IN KLAN OUTFIT: Teachers unions support DEMOCRATS, democrats support giving MORTGAGES to BLACK PEOPLE, loaning BLACKS money DESTROYS the ECONOMY. Isn’t that obvious?
RICH DUDE STANDING IN FRONT OF MANSION: If unions didn’t lower PRODUCTIVITY, we BANKERS wouldn’t have to sell worthless sub-prime mortgages just to squeak out a meager living!
Image shows two young people, looking angry, and wearing Hogwarts uniforms.
GIRL: After Voldemort killed Lily and James Potter, his NEXT STEP was forming a TEACHERS’ UNION!
BOY: What a louse!
GRINNING, POWERFUL-LOOKING DUDE IN SUIT: If no one was teaching MATH, we wouldn’t even KNOW there WAS an economic crisis. Problem SOLVED!