We’re Not Allowed To Say The Word “Woman” Anymore!

Cartoon by Barry


A cartoon by me and Becky Hawkins.


“But Mother” cried the Abbot. “If I’m not permitted to support these cartoons on Patreon, then there is no purpose to my life, and if it gets out there’s no purpose to my life, then the peasants will surely revolt and come for me with the rakes and torches, and–” But then the Abbot heard the crash of the front gates being smashed open.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.  Each panel shows the same two women chatting in what appears to be a breakroom/kitchenette at a workplace; there’s a fridge, and a coffee pot, a little round table with a couple of cheap plastic chairs, and an OSHA poster.

The first woman, who I’ll call DRESS, has below-the-shoulder blonde hair tied back loosely. She’s wearing a green dress with boots and is seated at the table, eating a sandwich. The second woman, who I’ll call JACKET (get it? “Dress Jacket”? This is high quality entertainment here!) has white hair, which is in a cool-looking style that’s short on the backs and sides and spikey in front. She’s wearing a green shirt, matching gray jacket and pants, and black clogs.

PANEL 1

DRESS is seated and eating her sandwich as JACKET walks into the break room, carrying a red coffee mug. Both women are smiling and look friendly.

DRESS: There you are!

JACKET: Sorry, had to go to the women’s room.

PANEL 2

Jacket has walked to the counter and is pouring herself a cup of coffee. Dress turns to face Jacket as she speaks.

JACKET: So what new stories are you guys putting out this week?

DRESS: Well, there’s my piece on “ten up-and-coming young women in publishing”…

PANEL 3

Dress continues to talk as Jacket moves to take a seat at the table.

DRESS: Julie’s got an essay on ways backsliding LGBTQ rights are a threat to women’s rights… There’s a piece on Black women leaders petitioning the President…

PANEL 4

Jacket suddenly explodes in over-the-top anger, waving her arms high, tossing her coffee mug into the air, flipping the table. Dress flinches back, surprised.

DRESS: And there’s Alice’s story about prosecutors targeting pregnant people – YIPES!

JACKET (yelling): “Pregnant people”? So we’re not even allowed to say “women” anymore?!?


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

The Secret Private Lives of Teachers

Cartoon by Barry


Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins, who really went all-out with drawing classroom environments!


When you support the Patreon, you not only get the warm feeling of supporting the making of more swellish policartoons, you also get the warm feeling of an extra arm growing out between your shoulderblades, and admittedly I can’t think of a single situation in which that would be pragmatically useful but what a conversation piece!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a schoolroom, although not always the same schoolroom. There’s also a tiny “kicker” panel under the bottom of the strip.

PANEL 1

A schoolroom (I know, I know, I just said that). In the background, A freckled, red-headed little girl wearing a red shirt is peering into a fishtank. There are big windows, and outside the windows we can see the tops of green trees.

In the foreground, BILLY, a reddish-blonde-haired little boy, is smiling as he talks to the teacher, Billy’s wearing a black v-neck tee shirt and green shorts. The teacher, MRS ABEL, is also smiling, leaning down to talk to Billy.

All three of them have feathered early-80s hair.

BILLY: Do you remember me from last year, Miss Thompson?

MRS ABEL: Of course, Billy! But I got married this summer, so now you should call me Mrs. Abel.

PANEL 2

A different classroom and a different teacher – but we’re still looking at Billy and his freckled classmate. They’re both leaning on the teacher’s desk; Billy is pointing to a framed family photo on the teacher’s desk. Freckles is wearing a red vest over a collared shirt, and Billy is wearing a green shirt.

The teacher is smiling and gesturing with an open hand as he replies to Billy. In the background, there are large classroom windows, and out the windows we can see the trees are yellow and orange – it’s now Fall.

BILLY: Mr. Smith? Who are the people in this picture?

MR SMITH: They’re my family, Billy!

PANEL 3

We’re back in Mrs Abel’s classroom, looking at the same people as panel 1 – Billy, his freckled classmate, and Mrs Abel. But time has passed; the trees out the window are green again. Also, Mrs Abel is now very obviously pregnant, and has a hand on her belly as she talks to Billy. It looks like Freckles was playing with a toy school bus, but she’s paused to listen to Billy and Mrs Able.

The girl in the background is wearing a red shirt under jeans overalls, and Billy is wearing the same green shirt, but with different pants.

BILLY: But why won’t you be teaching us next month, Mrs Abel?

MRS ABEL: Because I’m having a baby, Billy!

PANEL 4

A caption box at the top of the panel says “BILLY, FORTY YEARS LATER.”

An adult Billy, with a tidy beard and mustache and his hair going white at the temples, is in a classroom, yelling at a teacher, waving his arms. Billy has green pants.

The teacher, who has short red hair, freckles, and is wearing a button-up red shirt, is leaning back against her desk, away from Billy. She looks unhappy and surprised. On her desk, there’s a photo of her with a woman, presumably her wife, and two children.

BILLY (yelling): When we were kids, we never knew anything about teachers’ private lives!

TINY ADDITIONAL PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

Adult Billy is talking to the panel 4 teacher, looking a bit histrionic.

TEACHER: But we always knew about–

BILLY: We didn’t! That would have destroyed our childhood innocence!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons |

Regarding Those Largely Imaginary Cis Men Pretending To Be Trans Women…

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, then you’d be interested to know that many of history’s most famous people are also huge fans of my work, including Abraham Lincoln, Ada Lovelace, Margaret Thatcher (who wrote me only last week to let me know that I am objectively the greatest artist in all of history), and Ulysses. And all of them support my Patreon. So be like them!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all featuring the same two characters, who are chatting on a suburban looking sidewalk.  The character on the left is a blonde woman with neat, shoulder-length hair, a white shirt with a black collar, and a purple skirt.  The character on the right is a woman with straight hair on top, dyed in streaks of orange and greenish-yellow, while the hair on the sides is orange and buzz-cut.  She’s wearing below-the-knee shorts and a tank top, and one of her arms is covered with tattoos.

For the purpose of this transcript, I’ll call these characters SKIRT and TATTOO.

PANEL 1

Skirt is talking animatedly to Tattoo, smiling and stretching her arms it to make her point. Tattoo listens with her arms crossed and a neutral expression.

SKIRT: Bathroom bans aren’t about screwing over trans people. They’re about protecting women from cis men. Otherwise, cis men would pretend to be trans to get into women’s bathrooms.

PANEL 2

A slightly different angle, so we’re now seeing Tattoo from the back. Skirt continues to smile as she explains; we can’t see Tattoo’s face, but from her body language she’s disturbed by what she’s hearing.

SKIRT: That’s why we need a law saying people can only used bathrooms that match their sex at birth. And if it just happens to harm trans people… that’s only an unfortunate side effect.

PANEL 3

A close up of Tattoo shows her frowning as she thinks, one hand rubbing her forehead.

TATTOO: Even if that were a real problem, with your law couldn’t cis men just say they’re trans men to get into women’s bathrooms? Wouldn’t it make it easier for them, since they wouldn’t need dresses or makeup?

PANEL 4

Skirt takes a step back, looking a little irritated and holding up a hand in a negating gesture. Tattoo, looking angry, is holding up her hands and yelling.

SKIRT: But if we look at it that way, there’s no reason to screw over trans people.

TATTOO: WHY IS THAT A PROBLEM FOR YOU?


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

There’s Never Been a Worse Time for Free Speech!

Cartoon by Barry


Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins!


If you like these cartoons, you can help make more happen by moving to Portland, Oregon, and specifically into the shed next to my house, and every morning wake up and break into my house and stand over me saying “write! write! draw! draw you scum draw!” over and over, for hours, until I break, and don’t forget to support the Patreon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels. Each panel shows a different scene from a different era, with the first panel set in the 1890s, and each subsequent panel set in a later time period, until the final panel which is set in the present day.

PANEL 1

A bright summer day in the 1890s. In the foreground, a Black woman is watching three white men with an aggrieved posture. She’s wearing a blue dress. In the background, a uniformed police officer is talking to two other white men, one in a brown three-piece suit with matching bowler hat, while the other man looks more working-class with a white button-up shirt, no necktie, and suspenders.

Behind the men, we can see the still-smoking ruin of what was once a building.

MAN IN SUIT: We only burned down Ida Wells’ newspaper because she wrote against lynching.

COP: That seems reasonable.

PANEL 2

In the background, we can see a group of suffragettes in 1910s dresses and hats, crowded together and looking calm but nervous.  A couple of them are wearing sashes that read “votes for women.” Most of the suffragettes we see are white, but one is Black and another is Asian. The Asian woman is wearing a traditional Japanese kimono and hairstyle (modeled on Komako Kimura’s outfit and hair photographed at a 1917 suffragette march).

In the foreground, with their backs to us (so facing the women), a couple of cops are talking. One of them is slapping a palm with a billy club.

COP 1: These suffragettes were picketing the White House.

COP 2: Let the beatings begin!

PANEL 3

A wealthy looking couple, dressed in 1920s fashion (her in a blue hat with a red ribbon with flower decoration, and a matching blue jacket with puffy off-white cuffs and neck; him in an off-white suit, a straw boater with a red ribbon, blue necktie and red vest) are looking at the building across the street with some distress.

The building across the street has a sign saying “Apollo Theatre” over a revolving door entrance. A big theatre marquee over the entrances tells us that “The God of Vengeance” is playing, although the words are partly blocked by a word balloon. Another nearby sign says “Times Sq.”

WOMAN: A play with Jewish lesbians kissing?

MAN: Let’s call the police!

PANEL 4

An Asian man sits in a chair, holding up a sheet of paper. So many long horizontal strips have been sliced out of the paper that it’s made as much of holes as it is of paper. He’s wearing a collared blue shirt.

Behind him, an Asian woman leans forward to look over his shoulder. She’s wearing a red skirt and buttoned-up blouse, with a blue sweater over it. The hairstyle and clothing suggest the 1940s.

WOMAN: What’s that?

MAN: Letter from my friend Takashi in the internment camp.

PANEL 5

This panel shows two cops, a postman, and a woman in a dress. In the background, we can see a small but well-kept looking yellow house, with a tree in front and a planter under the front window.

One of the cops is putting the woman into the back seat of a police car. Judging from the woman’s hairstyle and pink, high-collared dress, this is the 1960s.

In the foreground, the postman is talking to the other cop, while pointing backwards with his thumb towards the woman. The cop is taking notes.

POSTMAN: We opened Virginia Prince’s mail and found lesbian love letters and something called “Transvestia Magazine”!

PANEL 6

We are looking at a TV set, on a table. Judging from the make of the TV and the style of the tablecloth under the TV, this is the 1970s.

On the TV a dignified-looking Black man, with white hair styled to be high on top of his head, black round glasses, and wearing a suit and tie, is speaking. (The man is Bayard Rustin.)

RUSTIN: I was arrested in the 1940s for being anti-war… In the 50s for being gay… And in the 60s for protesting Jim Crow.

PANEL 7

A current-day TV studio. Cameras and lights point at two people sitting at a table, one a middle-aged man wearing a gray suit with a blue tie, the other a younger-looking woman with black hair, glasses, and a blue short-sleeved dress. The man is spreading his arms out in an annoyed fashion while speaking, and the woman is pounding a fist on the table in front of her.  “Clap clap clap” sound effects on the bottom right of the panel indicate that the unseen audience is clapping for what the woman is saying.

MAN: Nowadays straight white men can’t say anything without being criticized!

WOMAN: There’s never been a worse time for freedom of speech!

SFX: Clap clap clap clap


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

You Can’t Call Me a Homophobe if I’m Not Afraid

Cartoon by Barry


Another collab with Becky Hawkins!


If you like these cartoons, then you’re an exceptionally refined person and people all over the world are clamoring to know you to such an extent that it’s actually become difficult for you to go out in public unless you wear like, a slouch hat and big sunglasses, but that just makes you look like a spy and other spies come up to you and try to exchange briefcases and it’s just awkward and also support the patreon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a white man speaking directly to the reader; he has curly orange-ish hair and is wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt,

PANEL 1

MAN: Here’s a newsflash for you stupid lefties! Sometimes words aren’t literally true!

PANEL 2

The man smirks big and makes air quotes with his fingers.

MAN: Like when you call me a “homophobe” or “transphobe” just because I want those people fired from schools!

MAN: Idiot lefties! “Phobia” means “fear” but I’m not literally afraid! lol lol lol!

PANEL 3

He holds up a forefinger to emphasize his point. He’s grinning big.

MAN: You called me “white supremacist” when I said Blacks are genetically stupid…

MAN: But I think Asians are better at math than whites! So I don’t think whites are “supreme.” lolol!

PANEL 4

The man leans closer to the camera, widening his eyes and pursing his lips in a “oooh spooky” expression, while making the “mind blown” gesture with his hands on each side of his head.

MAN: The “big apple” is not a fruit! “Boxing rings” are square! “Hot dogs” aren’t dogs!

MAN: Aren’t you amazed at how clever I am? Is your mind blooown?


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

Ban Treating Meningitis in Kids!

Cartoon by Barry


If you’d like me to keep making cartoons like this, the only solution is to wear a clown nose twenty four hours a day two hundred sixty days a year (you get weekends off) while standing on a street corner offering free hugs to every fifth passerby unless the passerby has a dog in which case hug the dog unless the dog looks mean in which case you need to stand on your head on your bed for twelve minutes or you could support my patreon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two women talking as they walk through a hilly park. The lighting is a bit dim.

The first woman has long brown hair, and is wearing a plaid shirt and jeans with rolled-up cuffs. For convenience, we’ll name her “Plaid.” The second woman has short dark hair, and is wearing a tee shirt, a skirt, and black tights. We’ll name her “Skirt.”

PANEL 1

Plaid and Skirt are walking through a park. Plaid is looking a little concerned, and Skirt looks a little angry.

PLAID: I read about a fifteen year old with meningitis. They treated her with steroids, but it made things worse. she ended up wishing she hadn’t taken steroids at all.

SKIRT: Maybe we should have a law banning treating meningitis in minors?

PANEL 2

Plaid, looking a little annoyed, turns her head to speak to Skirt. Skirt looks doubtful, but raises a finger, making a point.

PLAID: What? Of course not! Think of all the kids with meningitis who are helped by being treated.

SKIRT: But some kids recover from meningitis without treatment.

PANEL 3

A closer shot. Plaid looks angry, and Skirt looks distressed, her eyes wide and her hands on her cheeks.

PLAID: But other kids need treatment! What about them?

SKIRT: You’re right! What was I thinking? Banning kids from getting medical help is obviously cruel! And irrational! Even monstrous!

PANEL 4

The “camera” has pulled away to a far-away shot. We can see the (very cartoony) landscape: rolling hills, trees and houses, distant mountains, and large clouds overhead. The two characters have their backs to the camera as they crest the top of a hill.

SKIRT: Unless the kid is trans.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

Trans People Just Don’t Listen!

Cartoon by Barry


A cartoon by me and Becky Hawkins.


Help us make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Here at Barrypatreon headquarters, we will serve no sheep before it sleeps and brew no glue before it’s true.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a TV talk show studio; there’s a table that the host and guest sit behind (the table has the words “Just Asking QUESTIONS” printed on it in large letters), and a couple of large potted plants on either side of the table (the planters have “The JAQ Off” printed on them),  We can see a couple of big TV lights hanging down from the ceiling, lighting the scene.

Behind the table are two women. On the left is Nadia, a woman with wavy light brown hair, wearing a pink blouse with a white jabot tie. On the right is the host, a woman wearing a pink blouse under a dark gray blazer; she has catseye glasses and her neck-length dark brown hair looks professionally styled. Both women have a coffee mug on the table beside them.

PANEL 1

Nadia looks straight into the camera, smiling with a wide-eyed “wow I’m actually on TV!” expression. The host has turned to face Nadia. She’s smiling, and raising one palm in a “just asking a question” sort of gesture.

HOST: Our guest today is Nadia Alves, of the “Valley Trans Coalition.” Welcome, Nadia.

HOST: Nadia, can you explain why trans activists insist that all boys who like dolls must “really be girls?”

PANEL 2

Nadia looks bewildered. The host, ignoring Nadia, has dramatically clutched her hands to her sternum, and has her eyes closed and an “oh the tragedy” expression on her face.

NADIA: What? Of course boys can like dolls.

HOST: I was a tomboy —  if I were a girl today trans activists would force me to be a boy!

PANEL 3

Nadia explains, looking worried about the turn the conversation has taken. The host is suddenly furious, pounding the table so hard her coffee mug bounces up. To indicate the host’s fury, Becky has colored the background of this panel red, and the host’s head is suddenly much larger than it is in the other panels. (Plus the host has a furious expression, of course.)

NADIA: Nobody is doing that. Obviously not all—

HOST (yelling): Why are trans activists so regressive? Newsflash: Not all girls wear dresses! It’s like you’re stuck in the 1950s!

PANEL 4

Nadia is turning her head left and right, looking around with a confused expression. The host smiles and talks directly to the camera, making a “can you believe this person?” gesture indicating Nadia. Unnoticed, the host’s coffee mug has spilled, and coffee is dripping off the front of the table.

NADIA: Who are you talking to? Is there someone else here?

HOST: I try talking to trans people, but they just don’t listen!


This cartoon on Patreon.


Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

One of Chappelle’s Best Friends is Trans

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A pathetically small amount of money ($1! $2!) turns into a living for me when multiplied by a whole bunch of readers.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a good-looking black man with a shaved head – let’s call him, oh I’m just picking a name at random here, “Dave.”  Dave is wearing a gray leather suit-style jacket buttoned over an off-white tee shirt. He speaks directly to the reader.

PANEL 1

Dave speaks to the reader, but with his face turned a little bit to one side. His expression is interested but also a little weary.

DAVE: I had a friend who’s a transgender lady. But she wasn’t like those other transgenders.

PANEL 2

Dave now grins, speaking more directly to us, and holding out a hand palm-up in a friendly fashion, like he’s speaking with his hands while telling a story.

DAVE: When I joked about trans women’s bodies and p******s and called them “dudes” and said “yuck,” she just laughed long and hard.

PANEL 3

Now Dave looks annoyed, looking down a bit, as he thinks of his critics.

DAVE: She didn’t criticize me or make a fuss about “pronouns” or use made-up words like “TERF” like other transgenders do.

PANEL 4

Dave is looking at us again, smiling, arms spread wide.

DAVE: She was a good one.

DAVE: In conclusion, I had a transgender friend, so nothing I say can ever be transphobic. Take that, transgenders!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

I’ve Got Nothing Against Trans People. But…

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by Becky Hawkins and I.


Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A buck or two makes a real difference.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels.

PANEL 1

A white woman with a big smile and brown hair is smiling and holding up a book. The book is entitled “Save The Children” and shows a small crying girl behind bars with a red frowny face over her abdomen.

The woman appears to be on TV – a two-level scrolling chyron at the bottom of the panel reads “Gay Menace Is Now Trans Menace” and “…enator says woke trans stole her lunch mone…”

WOMAN: My book is about how trans people are indoctrinating our children and enticing lesbian girls to become transgenders!

WOMAN: Please understand I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 2

A middle-aged white male politician, wearing a gray suit, is speaking from behind a podium; we can see that a TV camera is pointed at him. The podium has a seal that says “Real America.” He’s standing in front of two American flags. He holds up a finger to make a point.

POLITICIAN: My legislation will ban transgenders from sports. And public bathrooms. And medical care for trans kids.

POLITICIAN: It will also let doctors, nurses and pharmacists refuse to treat transgenders!

POLITICIAN: Of course I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 3

A white man with a full beard, wearing a open neck shirt under a suit jacket, is sitting in front of a laptop and typing rapidly (“tap tap tap tap tap tap tap”). He’s grinning in an unfriendly way. On the table next to his laptop are a number of take-out coffee cups, a crumpled-up soda can, and a mug that says “Liberal Tears.”  In the space above his laptop, we can see what he’s typing.

MAN: Why say “trans women” when I can say “men wearing dresses” instead?

MAN: But I’ve got NOTHING against trans people!

PANEL 4

A hand holds a smartphone. On the smartphone screen, we can see a red-headed woman in a gown, wearing a dress with blue earrings and a blue necklace, sitting comfortably on a huge, old-fashioned wooden chair that would look at home in Hogwarts. She leans on one arm and makes an open gesture with her other palm.

REDHEAD: My new novel is about a killer who wears dresses and murders woman! It’s a sequel to my novel where a trans woman attempts to murder my hero.

REDHEAD: And my new essay is about how the trans movement is a mortal danger to real women.

REDHEAD: But I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 5

The set of a TV chat show called “Just Asking Questions.” (We know that’s what it’s called because “Just Asking Questions” is printed in huge letters on the side of the table the guests are sitting around. Plants on either side of the set are in pots with the painted on words “The JAQ Off.”)

The host, a nicely-dressed woman with stylish hair, sits in a chair on the left, smiling. Her guests, seating around the table, are the four characters we met in the first four panels of this comic strip.

HOST: Why do so many trans people say you’ve got something against them?

“SAVE THE CHILDREN” AUTHOR LADY: (shrugs as if bewildered)

POLITICIAN (arms folded, above-it-all expression): It’s a Mystery.

BEARDED DUDE: (ignores everything around him while he grins and types quickly on his smartphone)

REDHEAD: I blame cancel culture.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Look Who’s Oppressed Now!

Cartoon by Barry


I can do these cartoons because lots of people support me with small donations! Join our cult!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has two panels. Each panel features a variety of people on abstract pillars of various heights – a Black woman, an Asian person in a wheelchair, a Latina woman, a gay male couple, and a couple more in the background who we can’t make out in any detail. On top of the central pillar, wearing a suit, is a prosperous-looking white man in a suit and tie. The well-off white guy’s pillar is significantly taller than any of the others.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “Fifty Years Ago.”

The white man’s pillar is so tall that the top of his head is actually out of the panel. He’s cheerfully/aggressively talking down to all the others, who variously look annoyed at him or are ignoring him.

WHITE MAN: I don’t see what you’re all whining about.

PANEL 2

A large caption at the top of the panel says “Today.”

It’s the same scene, but now the wealthy white man’s pillar is shorter than it was in panel 1 – but still taller than anyone else’s pillar. The white man, now sad-looking, is weeping and screaming. The others look up at him with annoyance, except that one of the gay men is pointing and laughing at him.

WHITE MAN: Look how I’ve fallen! Now I’M the oppressed one!


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

Women’s Sports Will Be DESTROYED!!!

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoon by supporting my Patreon! Patrons got to see this cartoon back in February.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A bald man with a furrowed brow, wearing a shirt with a necktie, is sitting in what appears to be a radio recording booth; there’s a big microphone held up by a pro-looking microphone holder thingy (which is the technical term), a laptop open next to him and some notecards and a pencil on the desk in front of him, a coffee mug, and a wall clock behind him.  He isn’t yelling, but he looks a bit angry and intense.

A large caption says “2004.”

FURROW: Now that trans women can compete in the Olympics, no biological women will ever win! This will destroy women’s sports!

PANEL 2

We are looking at an iphone being held in someone’s hand. On the screen of the iphone, an angry woman, with a high hairdo and hoop earrings, is talking. A graphic at the bottom of her window says “FOX.” A chyron at the bottom says “Next: Is Obama Satan? Or does he just worship Satan?” Graphic boxes to the left and right of her head say “FEAR” and “PANIC.”

A large caption says “2013.”

TALLHAIR: If California allows trans girls on high school teams, they’ll dominate! Other girls will never be able to compete! This will destroy women’s sports!

PANEL 3

The same two characters are seated together at a round table, in what appears to be a coffee shop or diner; they both have cups of coffee on the table in front of them. He is again wearing a shirt and tie, but his tie is pulled down a bit and his top button is open. She’s wearing a more casual outfit, a open sweater over a striped shirt. They both look aggravated.

A large caption says “TODAY.”

TALLHAIR: It’s been years and trans girls still aren’t dominating high school sports!

FURROW: Only one trans woman has even reached the Olympics—and she lost! Other women beat them all the time!

PANEL 4

Same shot and scene. The tall-haired woman, even more frustrated, throws her hands in the air; the furrowed-brow man leans his head on his hands, looking dejected.

TALLHAIR: ‘Godammit, why aren’t women’s sports destroyed yet?

FURROW: I know. I’m disappointed too.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

What Kind of People Sexualize Children?

Cartoon by Barry


Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.


This strip was drawn by my frequent collaborator Becky Hawkins.  As usual, Becky excels at communicating setting after setting in small panels; I think the store interior in panel 3 is particularly nice. I also love the way she ages Lucy and Lucy’s dad from panel to panel.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the comic.

PANEL 1

Two toddlers, one a blonde girl dressed in pink, and the other a boy in blue, are playing in a sandbox in a park. They aren’t paying any attention to each other. The girl is just sort of making a pile of sand; the boy is experimentally biting on the handle of the little plastic shovel (and seems to be enjoying it). In the background, two adults are watching the kids and talking to each other, a red-headed man (who I’ll call “Dad”) and a blonde woman.

DAD: Look at Lucy, flirting and making eyes at him!

WOMAN: Look at him, showing off for her!

PANEL 2

We seem to be outside a school building or daycare; the building is made of red bricks, and we can see paper cut-out hearts taped to the large windows. In front of the building, near a hopscotch game chalked onto the pavement, is Lucy (two or three years older, but we can recognize her by the similar shade of pink and the blonde hair) and another boy. The boy is yanking on Lucy’s pony tail, and Lucy looks annoyed. In the foreground, two adults – including the redheaded dad from panel 1 – are watching, looking amused. (The other adult is a woman, but not the same woman as the woman in panel 1).

DAD: I think Lucy has a boyfriend!

WOMAN: It’ll be so cute if they marry each other someday!

PANEL 3

We are in a shop with fancy, bright-colored dresses and costume jewelry and stuff. The redheaded man, now maybe a bit fuller around the waist, is chatting to a shopgirl while gesturing towards a burgundy outfit on a mannequin. The outfit is very fancy, and has two pieces, a band shirt and a short skirt, leaving the mannequin’s waist bare. Lucy, now looking a few years older, is looking up at the outfit expressionlessly.

MAN: I just couldn’t wait to get Lucy on the pageant circuit! Lucy, let’s try this one on you!

PANEL 4

Some years later, Lucy – now looking like a young teen – and her dad (now quite a bit chubbier, and his hairline is beginning to recede) are sitting at home, dad in a comfortable looking armchair, while Lucy sits at a table in the background doing homework. Lucy is looking up at her dad, and a “!” has appeared next to her head. Dad is speaking and gesturing angrily at something on his smartphone.

DAD: Just look at this! Diagnosing children as “trans”… Prescribing “puberty blockers”… What kind of people sexualize children?

SMALL KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist is speaking to the redheaded dad. The redheaded dad – apparently older, as his hairline has receded further – is turning away from Barry the cartoonist.

BARRY: Trans children’s healthcare isn’t about “sex.” It’s about identity, comfort, and—

DAD: Can’t talk — Lucy and I need to practice our purity ball dance.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

A Trans Man Walks Into The City Clerk’s Office…

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins.


Please support these cartoons on Patreon!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

There are four panels, plus an additional small “kicker” panel under the cartoon.

PANEL 1

Inside a mustard-yellow government building – an old one with arched ceilings – people wait on line to talk to a woman in one of those windows embedded in an internal wall, for government workers to talk to people without being in the same room as them.

What are those windows called? I have no idea.

Next to the window, a sign on the wall says “Office of the City Clerk.”

On the public side of the window, a young man wearing a blue shirt, and carrying a brown document bag slung over a shoulder, is talking to a blonde woman on the other side of the window. The woman has short hair with spiky bangs, pink cats eye glasses, and is wearing a purple shirt with sleeves that end about halfway down her forearm. We’ll call him “BLUE” and her “CLERK.”

BLUE: Hi! I need to change my name and switch my gender marker to “M.”

CLERK: Oh, so you’re trans? Okay!

PANEL 2

A closer shot of the two of them. She’s handing a document to him as she talks cheerfully. His back is to us, so we can’t see his face.

CLERK: First, you’ll need to pay to have your name change announced in a newspaper. You’ll need an appointment for a court hearing… That can take months. Meanwhile, hire a notary to watch someone you know sign this affidavit.

PANEL 3

The “camera” has moved to a position from which we can see both characters’ faces. She is handing him a HUGE stack of papers. His eyes are wide and he looks shocked as he eyes the stack.

CLERK: When you go to court, bring money for court fees and a letter from your therapist. And that’s just for your driver’s license. There’s lots more for your social security and birth certificate. Here are some of the forms you’ll need.

CLERK: Next!

PANEL 4

Blue has left, and now a young woman with long brown hair is standing at the window, showing the Clerk a piece of paper. The clerk is smiling and making a thumbs up gesture.

WOMAN: Hi! I’m a bride, and I need to change my name. Here’s my marriage license.

CLERK: Done! Have a nice day.

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist is talking to the clerk.

BARRY: Is this the state rewarding people for being gender normative?

CLERK: I can tell you for a fee.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Transgenderism Is Coming! Run Away!

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, support them on Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.


This cartoon was drawn by Becky Hawkins, who did an amazing job. I just love the variety of expressions and little movements she put in there. (It was also Becky’s idea to have it be a cable TV yapping show of some sort; in my original sketch, it was just three people talking on zoom.)


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel underneath the cartoon.

The first three panels all show some sort of news or talk show, in which the screen is divided “zoom” style to show three pundits who are talking to each other from separate locations. There’s a large window, for whomever is currently speaking, and then two smaller windows with the other two pundits.

The three are: A white man with a beard and mustache, in front of a cityscape background; a white woman with brown hair and a blue blouse, in front of red-white-and-blue stripes; and a white woman with blonde hair and an off-white blouse, with a framed something on the wall and a houseplant behind her. I will call these characters CITYSCAPE, STRIPES, and HOUSEPLANT.

At the bottom of the largest window, a chyron – which is the word for captions at the bottom of news programs – displays changing messages. It is presumably scrolling, so not all of each message fits on screen at once.

PANEL 1

Cityscape looks angry; the other two look grimly concerned.

CITYSCAPE: These “transgenders” jump down your throat if you don’t use their “preferred pronoun.” That’s why I’m not friends with any.

CHYRON: …ew study proves liberals are stupid…

PANEL 2

Houseplant, in the main window, is making airquotes. Stripes is screaming, her fists raised in the air. Cityscape has his arms crossed and looks serious.

HOUSEPLANT: I don’t know any “gender nonbinaries,” but I heard that anyone who uses the “wrong” pronoun is fired and blacklisted!

STRIPES: Transgenderism is the new fascism!

CHYRON: …God hates who you whate, says sour…

PANEL 3

Stripes, now in the main window, looks very frightened and wide-eyed, like she’s about to cry. In the smaller windows, Cityscape looks sad and Houseplant is shaking her head with her arms akimbo.

STRIPES: Can you imagine the Hell of actually associating with these people? Watching every word… Living in constant fear… Knowing that the slightest misstep means you’re cancelled! Forever!

CHYRON: Scientist: Watching Fox cures cance…

PANEL 4

This panel shows a person with curly hair in a low ponytail and a purple shirt holding up a tablet. On the tablet’s screen we can see the other person in the conversation, who has glasses and bright pink hair. Ponytail looks concerned, Pinkhair is smiling and looks cheery.

PINKHAIR: By the way, you said “he.” I use “they.”

PONYTAIL: Oops! Thanks, I’ll try not to do that again.

PINKHAIR: Thanks! Hey, did you see that turtle video?

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

An angry short-haired white man is yelling and pointing at Barry, who looks taken aback.

ANGRY MAN: This cartoon is bull! I “misgender” transgenders for fun on twitter all the time, and lots of them get angry!

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Terfluffle at the Supermarket

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more of these cartoons at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.


This cartoon was written by me and drawn by my most frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins. Becky also came up with the title. Thanks Becky!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two women are talking in a supermarket. The first, a woman with stylish glasses and her blonde hair pulled into a low bun, and wearing a reddish orange dress with matching shoes, is grinning with a smug expression and holding up her phone to show the other woman.

The second woman has short brown hair, worn in a style called a “quiff”:  “short hair that’s left longer on top and dramatically swept to the side.” She’s wearing jeans, brown boots, an open red button-up shirt over a white tee, and four piercings in her ear.

The two are waiting on line by a counter at a supermarket; we can see a glassed-in counter (like a Supermarket deli) behind them, with ad pictures on the wall showing a sub sandwich, a big joint of meat with slices carved off, and a salad.

GLASSES: As a feminist, I look for small ways to fight misogyny every day!

BOOTS: What a great idea!

PANEL 2

A close up of Glasses, holding up her phone in one hand, and raising her other hand’s forefinger to make a point, still smiling widely.

GLASSES: Like, here on FaceBook I told a trans “woman” that he‘s just a man in a dress!

GLASSES: And on Twitter I said that all transgenders rape women by appropriating women’s bodies!

PANEL 3

Another close up of Glasses, reading her own screen and laughing big, but with a rather mean expression.

GLASSES: And here, I said transgender “women” are to women what Twinkies are to food!

GLASSES (very large): HA!

PANEL 4

In a shot similar to panel 1’s shot, we see Glasses continuing to smile and talk to Boots. Boots, with a horrified expression, has turned away from Glasses and is now holding her own smartphone, which she’s frenetically typing on with a forefinger.

GLASSES: So what’s a small way you’re fighting misogyny?

BOOTS: Telling everyone I’ve ever met to block you.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Which Kids Matter

Cartoon by Barry


Help me keep making cartoons by supporting my Patreon! I make most of my living from people pledging small amounts, like $1 or $2, and I think that’s awesome.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same thing: Two women walking through a hilly park as they argue. The two are staying at least six feet apart from each other as they talk.

The woman in front is wearing a jacket with rolled-up sleeves, black tights with holes in them, and a striped shirt. She has a pink streak in her black hair. The woman behind is wearing a skirt with a pattern of exclamation marks, a white collared shirt, and has wavy hair falling to a little below shoulder level. She’s wearing glasses.

PANEL 1

PINK is talking calmly while, behind her, GLASSES waves her arms and talks in an argumentative fashion.

PINK: So when an eleven year old trans kid is prescribed puberty delaying drugs, that could spare them decades of suffering!

GLASSES: But what if a boy likes dolls, so his parents decide he’s a girl and force him to change sex? That’s why we must outlaw puberty delaying drugs!

PANEL 2

Pink isn’t yelling but she’s speaking passionately, waving her hands as she talks. Behind her, Glasses has her hands in her pockets and is listening without much expression.

PINK: I’ve never seen a real case like that. That would be awful. But if a case like that happened, it’d be one in a million. On the other hand, there are definitely trans kids who need this treatment.

PANEL 3

Pink turns back a bit to talk directly at Glasses as she asks Glasses a question. Glasses, hands still in pocket, replies calmly.

PINK: So how many trans kids would you sacrifice to prevent one hypothetical non-trans kid being forced into delayed puberty?

GLASSES: All of them.

PANEL 4

Pink has now turned all the way around, looking a bit horrified, and holding her palms up in a “let me just explain this” gesture. Glasses has stopped walking, has folded her arms, and has raised her voice, with an angry expression.

PINK: I don’t think you understand – we could be talking about a hundred thousand-

GLASSES: I said all of them!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, LGBT cartoons |

Intellectual Excuses for Misgendering

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoons like this one by supporting my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip. Each of the four panels shows a man and a woman walking through a hilly park; she is walking away from him, looking annoyed, and he’s following, lecturing pretentiously.

He is wearing a yellow dress shirt, collar open, and has a beard and rectangular glasses. She is wearing a dim orange dress, with a thick belt and a headband.

PANEL 1

He’s talking and holding up one forefinger in a “I’m making an important point” way.

MAN: I will NOT use your “preferred pronouns.” The reality is, you’re a man. That means “he” and “him.”

PANEL 2

The “camera” has zoomed in to a closer shot of the man (we really only see the back of the woman’s head in this panel). The man is now speechifying, one palm on his chest and the other hand raised a bit, and looking solemn and pretentious.

MAN: Anything else is a LIE. And you can lie to yourself all you want, but you cannot force ME to lie on your behalf. I’m morally and ethically obligated to tell the truth, regardless of how that makes you feel.

PANEL 3

The “camera” has zoomed out to a more distant shot of them walking through the park. She’s still in front, not turning back to look at the man. There are a few trees in the background, and a wooden picnic table in the foreground.

MAN: It’s not my goal to hurt you. But I have principles. I value truth. You understand what I’m saying?

WOMAN: I do.

PANEL 4

She walks forward, still not turning; behind her, the man has stopped walking, and looks a bit startled.

WOMAN: You’re saying you’re a gigantic asshole.

KICKER PANEL

The bearded man from the first four panels is talking cheerfully to Barry (the cartoonist); Barry is facepalming.

MAN: What impresses me most about myself is how SUPER rational I am!

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

Debate Us You Cowards!

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each of which takes place in a different setting, and with a different set of characters.

PANEL 1

A man wearing a polo shirt and jeans follows a woman down the street. The woman is wearing a hoodie and is walking a small dog. The man is talking cheerfully, doing the “explaining with my hands” palms up gesture; the woman is looking back at him out of the corner of her eye and has raised her voice testily.

POLO SHIRT: So you see, when you “transgenders” insist you’re women, that’s you forcing society to along with your delusions. Let’s discuss this.

DOG WALKER: LEAVE ME ALONE!

DOG (in thought balloon): Jerk!

PANEL 2

A woman and man are walking on a path in a park, the woman walking away from the man. The man is bald-headed with a van dyke beard, and is wearing a t-shirt with a big exclamation point on it, and an open black vest over the shirt. The woman has tattoos and blue hair.

The man has a friendly smile and has raised one forefinger in a “professor explaining a point” style; the woman is holding up a smartphone and speaking angrily.

VEST DUDE: When men aren’t allowed to hit women, men have no means of controlling crazy women. If I may quote Professor Jordan Peterson-

BLUE HAIR: DUDE! GO AWAY!

PANEL 3

A customer at a coffee shop, a blonde woman with curly blonde hair, is chatting with a friendly expression with the barista. The barista, who is Black and wearing cat’s eye glasses, is waving their hands and yelling. The customer has a “Q,” in the same font as the “Quilette” logo, on the back of her shirt.

CUSTOMER: There’s no need to get mad. I just want to politely debate whether or not Black people have genes that make them stupid.

BARISTA: i’M NOT GOING TO “DEBATE” THAT!

PANEL 4

Three characters from the previous three panels – Polo Shirt, Vest Dude, and Customer – are sitting around a round table with coffee cups on it. They are all looking annoyed and unhappy.

POLO SHIRT: These “identitarians” are so rude!

CUSTOMER: Why won’t they debate us?

VEST DUDE: They’re cowards!

Posted in LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny |

Dear (Some Of) My Fellow Lefties

Cartoon by Barry


Support my Patreon and help me make more cartoons! A $1 pledge matters a lot to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF COMIC

This comic strip has nine panels. The first eight panels each show a single character (a different character in each panel), speaking to the viewer.

PANEL 1

There is a caption at the top of panel 1.

CAPTION: Dear (some of) my fellow lefties:

The art shows a man sitting at a desk, laughing. He’s wearing a white collared shirt and a necktie.

MAN: Ann Coulter is a man! Haw haw!

PANEL 2

An older woman, with white hair and a floral-print blouse, is holding up her hands and laughing, as if she’s telling a joke.

WOMAN: Clarence Thomas’ parents should have named him “Tom.” Get it? Like Uncle Tom?\

WOMAN: As a white liberal, it’s totally my place to say that!

PANEL 3

A man with an enormous beard, wearing sunglasses, a bowler hat, and a coat with big puffs around the collar and wrists, speaks to the viewer, smiling. There’s a bike parked next to him.

MAN: I bet all these anti-gay conservatives are secretly gay!

MAN: Let’s laugh at them for being gay!

MAN: (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

PANEL 4

A thin woman, wearing a red knit cap, a hoodie, and hoop earrings, is speaking angrily.

WOMAN: Trump just keeps pulling lies out of his big fat ass!

WOMAN: God fat people disgust me!

WOMAN: Er… I meant, Trump disgusts me!

WOMAN: Whichever!

PANEL 5

A man, wearing glasses and a “this is what a feminist looks like” tee shirt, stands pointing to something on the screen of his tablet. There’s a hillside with paths and a couple of trees behind him.

MAN: When I see pro-life women, I think, who’d even want to get them pregnant?

PANEL 6

A person sits at a small round table, a coffee mug in front of them. They have heavily tattooed arms, the side of their head is shaved, and they’re wearing a small ring on their nose and several more in their ear. They’re smiling and holding one hand up to their mouth as if telling a dirty joke.

PERSON: Guys obsessed with protecting big guns are just making up for they lack downstairs, ifyaknowwhatImean.

PERSON: You do know what I mean, right?

PERSON: I mean penises!

PANEL 7

A woman stands outdoors, dressed for a cool day. She’s got a jacket, a scarf, and a big knit hat. She’s looking a bit aggravated as she speaks.

WOMAN: You know who votes Republican? Inbred, flyover state hillbilly retards!

PANEL 8

A redheaded man sits on a curb, leaning on one hand. He’s wearing a button-up collared shirt, open, over a striped long-sleeved tee. He’s grinning.

MAN: I love it when right-wingers get sent to prison. “Don’t drop the soap!” Ha!

PANEL 9

There is no art in this panel. Instead, the entire panel is black, except for a caption in big white letters.

CAPTION: Shut up and get the hell off my side.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

The Trans Story Journalists Love To Tell

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first two panels are more or less square shaped; the third and fourth panels are wider than they are tall.

PANEL 1
Three people – A dapper man wearing a bow tie and suspenders, a woman with a bob haircut and a hoodie, and a woman with tattoos and a skirt with a donut pattern – are walking along a path on a grassy hill. Behind them we can see clouds, a tree, a house. The guy with the bow tie is cheerfully reading something aloud from his cell phone. The woman with the donut skirt, also smiling, is hitting her forehead with her palm in a “duh!” gesture. The woman with the hoodie isn’t smiling.

BOW TIE: Another study ahs found that transitioning improves life for nearly all trans people.
DONUTS: Well, duh. Transitioning turned my life around.

PANEL 2
The three have come to a stop, as Hoodie speaks, looking a bit nervous, shrugging and scuffing the toe of one sneaker into the side of another. The other two are a bit surprised by what she’s saying.
HOODIE: Not me. Honestly, I’ve found the whole experience miserable.

PANEL 3
A long horizontal shot of a crowd of legs, in various types of clothing and shoes, all running fast in the same direction. There is a very large sound effect.
SFX: RRRRUMBLE!

PANEL 4
The largest panel in the cartoon shows Bow Tie and Donuts looking very surprised as Hoodie is suddenly surrounded by a crowd of at least 16 reporters, all holding out their cell phones towards her to record what she says. Hoodie, looking left and right, is shocked and panicked. The reporters are yelling out questions and offers.
REPORTER 1: I’m a reporter – can I interview you?
REPORTER 2: Me first!
REPORTER 3: …write a profile of you?
REPORTER 4: …write a column for the Times?
REPORTER 5: …TV segment?
REPORTER 6: …appear on our podcast?

Posted in LGBT cartoons |