June Davis Finally Wins, Which Is Not Allowed

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon was thought of by Grace Alden, co-written by me and Grace, drawn by me, and colored by Frank Young. A team effort!


If you support these cartoons on Patreon, that will tip the balance of the universe just enough in the right direction so that Thanos will lose. I’m not saying that if you don’t pledge and then fifty percent of all living creatures are killed, then it’ll be your fault. But I’m not not saying that, either.


My new cartoon collection, Yet Another Example of Pervasive Anti-Billionaire Bigotry, is now available for anyone to buy, in either softcover or hardcover.

It’s really big – about 8.5×11″, containing about 200 cartoons, plus a ton of process drawings and prose. It could conceivably be a great birthday present for a progressive you love, or for a conservative you hate.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has eight panels. Every panel shows a runner on a track, and in all but the last panel she’s actively running a race. She has her hair done in two afro puffs, and is lean but muscular. Let’s call her June.

In every panel but the last two, June is wearing a different outfit, but all her outfits consist of a tank top with shorts. She also always has a paper taped to her shirt with a number on it, but the number changes form panel to panel.

There’s an additional tiny “kicker” panel under the last panel of the cartoon.

PANEL 1

We see three runners during a race, but the panel is laid out to focus on June, who looks tired and not like she’s winning this race. (One of the other girls we can see is well ahead of her.)

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: And here’s June Davis in fifth place!

PANEL 2

A profile picture of June running; we can see bits of the runners ahead and behind her, but they’re mostly off panel. June again looks tired, her mouth open as if she’s gasping for air, cartoon sweat beads flying.

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: …June Davis in sixth place!

PANEL 3

A close-up of June running, looking very determined. It’s raining, and big raindrops splash off of her shoulders and head.

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: …in second place!

Panels four through six together take up the space of any of the other panels in the cartoon, as if one of those panels had been divided into three panels. This is meant to indicate that a lot of time, and a lot of races, are passing.

PANEL 4

A longish shot, showing June from the upper legs up. Again, June runs and we can see other runners behind and in front, although they’re mostly cut off by the panel borders. June looks determined but also annoyed.

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: …in fourth place!

PANEL 5

A closer shot, showing June from the elbows up. She looks like she’s working hard, with a determined expression and her arms pumping hard.

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: …in third place!

PANEL 6

A long shot shows June’s whole figure as she runs hard (and again, with girls in front and behind). She’s leaning forward, a picture of speed, with the background done as horizontal speed lines.

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: …in fifth place!

PANEL 7

A shot of June, arms raised, happy but exhausted looking, as she hits the… What is that called? The big ribbon that the runner in first place gets to run through and break? Whatever that’s called, June has hit it; it’s stretching around her, about to rip.

UNSEEN ANNOUNCER: …it’s June Davis in first!

JUNE DAVIS (thought balloon): Finally!

PANEL 8

In the foreground, June is sitting on the track, leaning back on her arms and looking tired and sad. In the background, we can see two middle-aged people, both of whom look angry. They’re both dressed in “casual nice” clothing. The man has a black mustache and his arms crossed; the woman is raising and shaking a fist.

MUSTACHE MAN: Dammit! The trans “girl” won!

WOMAN: Unfair advantage! Real girls have no chance!

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The mustache man is talking harshly to June, sticking his finger in her face. June, again, looks tired and sad.

MUSTACHE MAN: You can’t have a chance to win. It wouldn’t be fair.


June Davis Finally Wins, Which Is Not Allowed | Barry Deutsch on Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, LGBT cartoons |

Fat Suits in Movies

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, then if you support them you’ll get a warm glow of well-being, fizzling outward from your brain until you can feel it tingling in your toes, and then you’ll feel really confident and cheerful about talking to strangers and then you’ll decide to go out dancing and wait no that’s not supporting my cartoons that’s just being on drugs never mind.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a woman at her kitchen sink. Although each panel shows the same scene, each panel is shown from a slightly different angle, which would have required redrawing the perspective every panel. Gosh, that probably was a whole bunch of work by the cartoonist. I’m just saying that as a neutral observation from an objective observer, it’s not like these transcripts are written by the cartoonist himself. Cough. Cough.

The woman is fat, and is wearing blue jeans and a pink tee shirt that shows a planet sticking its tongue out on the back, and has the words “don’t panic” written in large friendly letters on the front. Her orange hair is in a messy bun.

On the countertop next to her is an open laptop, and throughout the cartoon the voices we hear are coming from the laptop. The laptop is positioned with the screen facing away from the “camera,” so we can’t see what’s on the screen.

PANEL 1

The woman is washing a dish over the kitchen sink. Voices are coming from her laptop, but she doesn’t appear to be paying attention.

VOICE 1 – TV HOST: You’ve been on People’s “hottest celebs” list six times… but in your new movie, you wear a fat suit! It’s a ”huge” transformation!

VOICE 2 – CELEB: Ha ha! It was quite a learning experience.

PANEL 2

The woman continues to wash dishes, but glances at the laptop screen.

TV HOST: Interesting! Can you tell us some things you learned?

CELEB: First, it’s disturbing to play a part designed to let audiences enjoy being grossed out by “my” body.

PANEL 3

A close up of the laptop on the counter.

CELEB: Second, I learned it’s exploitative to wear a marginalized person’s body as a costume. And I learned there are plenty of fat actors who’d love this opportunity but weren’t given a shot.

PANEL 4

The woman has stopped washing dishes and is leaning against the counter and watching the laptop screen. She looks amused.

CELEB: Finally, I learned that no one should see this stupid movie. Excuse me, my manager appears to be having a coronary.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance |

A Brief Taxonomy of Pro-Lifers

Cartoon by Barry


Support me on Patreon or there will be no more cartoons,” said the Boy who Cried No Cartoons. But the people didn’t support him on Patreon, and yet there kept being more cartoons, and that’s how everybody knew the Boy Who Cried No Cartoons was bullshit. So everyone in town got together and dragged the Boy out of bed and beat the Boy with sticks, until the Boy burst open and hundreds of new cartoons burst out, and then everyone had all the cartoons they could eat and more they could burn for warmth and life was good.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has twelve panels, arranged in a 3×4 grid. Each cartoon has a large caption, and below the caption, a character that the caption refers to.

At the very top of the cartoon, large letters in a friendly font say:

A BRIEF TAXONOMY OF PRO LIFERS

PANEL 1

A woman is weeping so copiously that the air around her is being filled with dozens of flying teardrops.

CAPTION: CRY BABY

WOMAN: Poor babies! Babies, babies babies! I’ll support anything to save babies!

WOMAN: (Just the unborn ones.)

PANEL 2

An older man wearing a suit and tie is speaking to an off-panel reporter (although we can see the reporter’s hand holding out a microphone. In letters so tiny no one will ever read them, a logo on the mic says “LOGO”).

CAPTION: WOMAN’S BODY KNOWER

MAN: In a rape the woman’s body just shuts that down, abortion is never needed to save a life, and if a woman swallows a pill it comes out her vagina. It’s just science!

REPORTER: Thank you, Senator.

PANEL 3

A man with a mustache holds up one hand, palm out, while his other hand holds a bible against his chest. He has his eyes closed and looks reverent. In the background, we can see some church-style fancy windows.

CAPTION: DEFINITELY NOT A THEOCRAT

MAN: I only want to force everyone to follow my religion’s rules. How does that make me a “theocrat”?

PANEL 4

A redheaded woman is, through a cartoon effect, turning her head rapidly and showing two different expressions. The first expression is angry (and she’s shaking a fist on that side); the second expression is extremely calm, and she’s holding up an index finger as if making an academic point.

CAPTION: THE SLUT SHAMER

WOMAN: DIRTY SLUTS MUST BE PUNISHED!

WOMAN: I mean, “take responsibility for their choices.”

PANEL 5

An angry white man, with messy hair and radiating waves of angry energy, is holding up his smartphone facing towards us, as he yells at us.

CAPTION: RACE OBSESSED WHITEY

MAN: Some Blacks have abortions which makes liberals the real racists MARGARET SANGER RACIST GENOCIDE!

MAN (smaller letters): Watch these videos they’ll only take 3 or 4 hours.

PANEL 6

A teenage girl looks at the reader with wide, sincere eyes. She’s holding a big sign which says “Abortion Murders Babies.”

CAPTION: THE SPECIAL ONE

GIRL: I’m different! I needed my abortion! My whole life could have been upended!

PANEL 7

A woman wearing a ringer tee-shirt with a smiley-face “Woman” symbol on it speaks angrily towards the viewer, waving her arms.

CAPTION: THE PRO-LIFE “FEMINIST”

WOMAN: Nothing’s more sexist than allowing women to make essential personal choices for ourselves!

PANEL 8

A handsome man with tidy hair is grinning hugely as he speaks to us. He’s sweating copiously and his tongue is hanging out of his mouth, both cartoonese for “this person is a horny pervert.”

CAPTION: SADIST BY JESUS-PROXY

MAN: BABY-KILLER! Jesus will burn you in hell for a million years! Endless pain in the flames!

MAN (smaller letters): heh heh heh yeaaah

PANEL 9

A man with well-coiffed hair, wearing a gray suit with a black tie, is sitting at a long table of the type Justices sit at during Senate confirmation hearings. He’s smiling and speaking into a microphone attached to the table.

CAPTION: JUSTICE IS SHAMELESS

MAN: If confirmed, I will overturn Roe, and we all know it. But I won’t be confirmed if I say that, so I’ll just say “it’s precedent.”

PANEL 10

A man with short-cropped hair and a small pointed chin-beard is typing furiously into a laptop. His word balloon points to the laptop, indicating what he’s typing.

CAPTION: POOR OPPRESSED MALE

MAN: Men can’t have abortions! So abortion has to be illegal! That’s what equality means!

PANEL 11

A hand is holding a smartphone. On the smartphone screen, we see a man with tidy hair and a worried expression cupping an ear with his hand, as if he’s miming listening to something.

CAPTION: DEAD BABIES LIVE MONEY!

MAN ON PHONE: Listen carefully and you’ll hear the unborn babies talking to you! They’re saying “donate $50 today!”

PANEL 12

This panel shows two people standing side-by-side, a man and a woman, speaking directly to the reader. They are both well-dressed, him in a suit and tie, her in a blouse with puffy short sleeves, and carefully done makeup and hair. They’re both smiling.

CAPTION 1: THE HUMANITARIANS

MAN: So our laws make doctors turn away victims of pregnancy complications and child rape…

WOMAN: Well, boo hoo!

PANEL 13

A woman stands alone in a field, talking directly to us with an angry expression while she points to something on her smartphone.  She has curly black hair and is wearing a black dress with a square-cut neckline.

CAPTION: MISS PRIORITIES

WOMAN: Sure, our abortion bans might kill people – but what’s REALLY horrible is that a columnist used the term “pregnant PEOPLE!”

PANEL 14

A young, wide-eyed teen is talking to an adult woman who is waring a white coat and has her hair in a bun. The woman is grinning but also pointing an accusing finger at the teen.

TEEN: Your ad said to come here for information about abortion?

WOMAN: We’re here to provide non-judgmental help! So tell me, why are you considering becoming a baby murderer?

CAPTION: CRISIS PREGNANCY SCARE

PANEL 15

This panel has two captions, a title caption at the top like the previous fourteen panels had, and a smaller caption floating in the middle of the panel. The panel is otherwise blank.

CAPTION 1: REALLY CARES ABOUT WOMEN

CAPTION 2: No examples found.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Abortion, Barry's favorites, Sexism & Misogyny |

The Adventures of Timmy the Six Week Fetus!

Cartoon by Barry


This one’s a collaboration with Kevin Moore.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels.

PANEL 1

This panel shows two teenage boys. One of them, John, has floppy blonde hair and is wearing a red t-shirt with a big horizontal yellow stripe. The other, John’s friend, has messily-cropped orange hair, zits, and a blue t-shirt.  John is rolling his eyes and looking aggrieved.

JOHN: I’m going out to hang with the boys, Ma!

MA (off-panel): John, you can go if you take your little brother.

JOHN: Aw, Ma, do I have to? Timmy’s such a drip!

PANEL 2

This panel is mostly taken up by the title, which is written in a big, cheerful-looking font that’s colored red and pink, with shiny white highlights.

THE ADVENTURES OF TIMMY THE SIX WEEK FETUS

Below the title lettering is a drawing of Timmy, a six week fetus, which looks sort of like a red lizard curled up into itself. Timmy has a little cartoon smile. A little curly label pointing to Timmy says “1/4 inch.”

TIMMY: I’m just like any other kid!

PANEL 3

John’s friend, in the foreground, is leaning forward and peering through a magnifying glass. In the background, John has his hands shoved into his pickets and is pouting.

FRIEND: You brought your stupid little brother with you, John?

JOHN:  It sucks! Ma made me take him!

PANEL 4

This panel shows two men with bandanas covering their lower faces riding by on bikes. They’re each holding a machine gun of some sort (I’m sure that someone will let me know that it’s not really a machine gun, it’s technically an [insert specific type of gun here], and let me assure you in advance that I really don’t care) , which they’re firing towards the sidewalk. Sound effects by the guns read “brapp brapp brapp.”

CAPTION: Suddenly… A random drive-by Antifa shooting!

ANTIFA DUDE: Ha ha ha! Take this!

PANEL 5

A shot of John, looking shocked and frightened. A bullet is on a path to hit John in the heart, but Timmy (who is too small to be seen, but we can see the zip line indicating his path) jumps in front of the bullet, which bounces off Timmy to the side.

JOHN: Gasp! Timmy jumped in front and took the bullet for me! And now Timmy’s dead!

TIMMY: Gak!

PANEL 6

In the foreground, John is kneeling, holding his cupped hands in front of him, as if he’s holding Timmy’s invisibly tiny body in them, and has raised his face towards the sky. John is weeping hard.

In the background, on one side of John, we see John’s friend lying on the ground in a spreading puddle of blood. The Friend has little “x”s for eyes, indicating that he’s dead. (I told Kevin that he could choose drawing the friend alive but shocked and sad, or dead, but I was 99% sure Kevin would go for the corpse option.)

Also in the background, on the other side of John, is Jesus Christ, with his arms folded across his chest, looking very stern.

JOHN: Why didn’t I love you like you deserved, Timmy?

JOHN: WAAAAH!

JESUS: I’m so disappointed in you, John.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Abortion, Barry's favorites, Kevin Moore collaborations, Sexism & Misogyny |

This is Your Brain on a Diet

Cartoon by Barry


Support the making of these cartoon by supporting my Patreon! If you do, you will always be wise and good looking and your omelettes will never stick to the pan.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.

At the top of the entire cartoon is a large caption, which says THIS IS YOUR BRAIN ON A DIET.

The first five panels show a human brain, but anthropomorphized: It has arms, legs, hands (gloved with three fingers, a la Mickey Mouse) huge eyes and a pointy crown. It’s in some sort of dimly lit round space.

The brain is speaking to a cell-like creature, with little blobs of oil falling off of it, and this creature has also been anthropomorphized, and has a mouth and two big eyes. The cell-like creature is wearing a black bowler hat.

PANEL 1

The brain is speaking a bit imperiously to the cell-like creature, who is named Mr. Ghrelin.  Ghrelin looks a little nervious.

BRAIN: Mr. Ghrelin, you have a report?

GHRELIN: Your majesty, I bring word from the stomach! We’ve been getting less food and we’re losing fat!

PANEL 2

A close-up of the brain. The brain is looking up thoughtfully into the hair, one finger pressed to the side of what I’ll call its cheek, as if its trying to remember something.

BRAIN: Less food? Losing fat? There’s a word for this…

BRAIN: What’s that word? It’s something I learned millions of years ago in evolution school…

PANEL 3

The brain has jumped up, holding the sides of its, er, head and with an extremely panicked expression; Mr Ghrelin is in turn surprised by the brain’s reaction. The word “starvation” is written in huge red letters.

BRAIN: GASP!

BRAIN: This is called STARVATION!

PANEL 4

A shot of the brain, raising its fists high as it yells, with a determined expression on its face. The background has disappeared, replaced by bright yellow, with waves of action lines (indicating great energy) shooting out from the brain.

BRAIN: I’m declaring a state of emergency!

BRAIN: Slow down metabolism! We must preserve our precious fat!

PANEL 5

The brain is now surrounded by a bunch of Ghrelin-types, each of who looks the same, except they’re wearing different hats (we can see: bowler hat, top hat, cabbie cap, 50s dad hat). The brain, still yelling, is pointing decisively as it gives marching orders.

BRAIN: Release the stress hormones! Have them produce constant, extreme hunger! And store all the fat we can! Just in case!

BRAIN: We’ll keep this up for years if necessary!

PANEL 6

A fat man sites on a sofa. Next to him, on an endtable, are a lamp, a drinking glass, and a pen. On his other side is a cell phone and a throw pillow. On the back of the sofa, there’s a folded blanket and, lying on the blanket, an orange cat. He’s wearing fuzzy slippers that are designed to look like mice, with little ears sticking up.

He’s holding a book; we can see the book’s cover, with the title “THE COMMON SENSE DIET.” A caption above the book shows what he’s reading in the book.

CAPTION: Just eat less! It’s easy!

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

Mr. Ghrelin is speaking to the brain again; the brain is facing away and looking anxious.

GHRELIN: Good news! We’re getting normal amounts of food again.

BRAIN: But for how long? Better store more fat.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance |

How To Recognize a Drug-Seeker

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, please support them! A $2 pledge really helps.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The cartoon is set in a doctor’s examining room – it has one of those tall examination tables with padding so patients can lie down, medical equipment and a degree hanging on walls, various cabinets, a sink. A tired-looking woman in a yellow tank top and black capri pants is sitting on the exam table. A doctor is standing in front of her. We can tell he’s a doctor because he’s wearing a white lab coat and has a stethoscope hanging around his neck. He’s holding a clipboard in one hand.

PANEL 1

The doctor is speaking to the patient. The patient is slumping a little, while the doctor is stiffly upright.

DOCTOR: Some people use narcotics to get high. So when you come here and say you’re in constant pain, that tells me you’re a lying drug-seeker.

PANEL 2

A closer shot of just the doctor as he speaks, looking stern and a bit angry, clutching the clipboard to near his chest.

DOCTOR: If you ask for pain meds, you’re a drug seeker.

DOCTOR: If you seem desperate, you’re a drug seeker.

DOCTOR: If you cry, you’re a drug-seeker.

PANEL 3

A close-up of the doctor’s face as he lectures, one forefinger raised.

DOCTOR: If you talk back to me, you’re a drug-seeker. If you don’t like me assuming you’re a  drug-seeker, you’re a drug-seeker.

PANEL 4

A shot of the patient and doctor. The patient is now very wide-eyed, and leans back, away from the doctor. The doctor leans forward, hunching over his clipboard a bit as he makes a note.

PATIENT: Could I talk to a doctor who isn’t horrible?

DOCTOR: “Doctor-shopping.” Classic drug-seeker.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites |

A Concise History of Body Positivity

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, help us make more! Each $2 pledge really matters.


This cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All the panels show people standing  in a blank cartoon space and talking directly to the readers.

PANEL 1

Three women, all unambiguously fat, are smiling warmly and talking to the readers. The one on the left, who is white, is wearing cool boots, and an open red plaid shirt over a black dress. She’s wearing squarish glasses. The other two women are black. The middle woman is wearing a crop top shirt with a brightly colored blue and pink pattern, and bright blue shorts. The woman on the right is wearing a plain white tee, blue shorts, and red-and-blue sneakers.

BOOTS: Body positivity means that no one should apologize or be made to feel bad for their body.

SNEAKERS: Love the body you’re in!

PANEL 2

A white woman, thin and with carefully styled blond hair, has walked out in from of the three fat women. She’s carrying a big sign that says “Love the body you’re in” in cheerful large lettering that’s a bit nostalgic for the 1960s. Below the lettering is a picture of a tube of lotion.

Behind the new woman, Boots looks startled and distressed. Sneakers is holding up a finger like she’s trying to object. And we can’t see what Crop Top is doing, because she’s almost completely blocked from view by the woman’s sign.

THIN WOMAN: “Body positivity” sounds great! You know what this would be amazing for? Selling skin care products!

SNEAKERS: Um…

PANEL 3

Two more thin white people have entered. One is a young woman with a pony tail, wearing yoga pants and a crop top; she’s sitting on the floor, legs curled under, and is holding her smartphone high to take a selfie. The other is a salesman-looking man, wearing a blazer over a v-neck shirt, who is holding up a book for us to see. The book’s title is “Love Your THIN Self.”  Both of the newbies are talking very cheerfully.

Between these two newbies, and the blonde woman with the sign, Boots and Crop Top are almost completely blocked. (We can see Crop Top’s eyes, which look annoyed). Sneakers can be seen better, and is open-mouthed with how appalled she is.

PONYTAIL: If I bend just the right way, there’s a fat roll! Helping women like me is what body positivity is all about!

BLAZER: Diet companies are also part of the body positivity movement! Losing weight will help people love their bodies!

PANEL 4

There’s now a lot of smiling people, nearly all white, crowded into the panel. Most are thin, a couple are a bit chubby, but there’s no one here you’d describe as “obese.” Everyone is grinning and talking to the readers.

Boots and Crop Top cannot be seen at all. We can see just a bit of Sneakers, as a smiling woman in a pretty pink blouse with an open back, with string forming a spiderweb pattern over the open part, violently shoves Sneakers out of the panel.

EVERYONE IN UNISON: Remember, body positivity is for everybody!

PINK BLOUSE: Except for really fat people. We can’t glorify obesity.

CAPTION AT BOTTOM OF STRIP

A large caption under the strip says “A CONCISE HISTORY OF BODY POSITIVITY.”


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Fat Acceptance |

These Kids Today Have Always Sucked

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins, doing the variety of costumes and environments that she excels at.


If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting my Patreon! Small donations from lots of donors are what makes it possible for me to keep doing these cartoons, and keep paying Becky for her work.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a three-by-three grid. The central panel (panel 5) has no image other than large, friendly, 3-D styled lettering saying “THESE KIDS TODAY HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED.”

Other than panel five, each panel features a single figure speaking, with a caption at the bottom of the panel identifying who they are.

PANEL 1

A cartoon caveman sits alone in a cave by a campfire, angrily ranting.

CAVEMAN: Hrrr hrrr. Urg! Grumble grrr huuuh grunt!

CAPTION: Thag, 20,000 BC

PANEL 2

A bearded man in ancient Greek dress holds a scroll and rolls his eyes as he speaks to the readers with an irritated expression.

ARISTOTLE: Young people think they know everything! And they’re soooo sure about it!

CAPTION: Aristotle, 4th Century BC

PANEL 3

A monk, wearing robes in the style of the Muromachi period of Japanese history, sits in front of a low table, where he’s writing on a scroll. He has paused in his writing to look at the reader.

YOSHIDA KENKO: Modern “fashions” are more and more debased! And their language nowadays is so coarse!

CAPTION: Yoshida Kenko, 1330

PANEL 4

A sour-looking man wearing a long wig of white curls looks directly at the reader, raising a forefinger in an admonishing way.

ROBERT RUSSELL: The towns and streets today are filled with lewd wicked children! They curse and swear and call one another nick-names!

CAPTION: Sir Robert Russell, 1695

PANEL 5

This panel has nothing in it but the title lettering. In large, friendly, 3d styled lettering, it says THESE KIDS TODAY HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED.

PANEL 6

A man in an upper-class 1700s suit sits at a writing-desk, leaning back with his feet on the desk. In one hand he’s holding a quill pen, in the other a bottle of some alcoholic liquid. It’s dark, and a candle on the desk is providing light.

MAN: Whither has the manly vigour of our forefathers flown? Youth today are effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles!

CAPTION: Town and Country Magazine, 1771

PANEL 7

A man with thick gray eyebrows stands in a hilly field; we can see a village in the distance behind him, and sheep in the field. One of the sheep is standing next to him, placidly eating a plant. The man is wearing a brown Irish flat cap and carrying a walking stick, which he is shaking at the reader.

FALKIRK HERALD: Young people are so pampered nowadays that they have forgotten there was such a thing as walking!

CAPTION: Falkirk Herald, 1951

PANEL 8

A professionally-dressed woman, with long wavy hair and a blue suit, is sitting behind a table with books displayed on it (one of the books is entitled “Kids 2day” and has a frowny face on the cover; her other book’s cover has a picture an iphone with devil horns and a smiley face). A TV camera is pointed at her, and a microphone is pointed at her. She smiles as she speaks to the camera.

JEAN TWENGE: Millennials got participation trophies growing up! So now they’re fame-obsessed, narcissistic, stunted and lazy.

CAPTION: Dr. Jean Twenge, 2013.

PANEL 9

A smartly-dressed woman with spiky white hair sits at the counter of a coffee shop, thumb-typing on her smartphone. She’s got big teardrop earrings and a necklace with a large stone with a spiral pattern. A word balloon points at her smartphone, showing us what she’s typing.

AUNT: And don’t even get me started on Gen Z!

CAPTION: Probably your aunt or something, just last week.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations |

Founding Father Wisdom, Featuring Thomas Jefferson

Cartoon by leftycartoons


If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon


This cartoon is drawn by the awesome Leah S. Metters! Leah describes herself as “an illustrator and visual development artist working hard to create amazing books and comics so she can take over the world, one smile at a time.”


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two children, a boy with huge glasses and a backpack, and a girl with her hair in a puff pony and wearing a colorful striped shirt, are in a park full of lush greenery. They’ve stopped by a wooden park bench; seated on the bench, wearing an early-1800s style suit and a peruke (which is what the white wigs most founding fathers wore were called), is the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. We know he’s a ghost because he’s a glowing pale blue color, he’s a little transparent, and he sort of twirls out of existence below the waist rather than having legs.

The boy and girl look enthusiastic; Jefferson seems quietly flattered.

BOY: It’s the ghost of Thomas Jefferson!

GIRL: The founding fathers were moral and intellectual giants! Share your wisdom with us, President Jefferson?

JEFFERSON: Very well.

PANEL 2

A close-up of Jefferson. He looks a little wide-eyed and intense, and his gesturing with his hands to emphasize his points.

JEFFERSON: To get rich, run a nail factory, and whip workers who make less than 5,000 nails a day. Children too!

JEFFERSON: And as I told my friends, invest every dollar you have in slaves!

PANEL 3

Another one-shot of Jefferson. He’s now looking more thoughtful, smiling a little with a finger pressed against his chin.

JEFFERSON: Orangutans are more attracted to black women than to other orangutans. That’s just science!

JEFFERSON: Let’s see, what other founder wisdom can I share?

PANEL 4

A shot of the three of them. The two kids look pissed; Jefferson concedes cheerfully.

GIRL: Actually, we’ve changed our minds about caring what you thought.

JEFFERSON: Solid choice! I was a slave-owning rapist asshat.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists |

Democracy is Burning

Cartoon by Barry


Please help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Small pledges from lots of donors is how I make my living.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. All six panels show the same two women on top of an unrealistically round and even hill. One woman is drawn as an anthropomorphic dog; she’s sitting in a reclined lawn chair, wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a t-shirt with an exclamation point design. The other woman is drawn as an anthropomorphic cat. She’s wearing a vest over a polka-dotted shirt, a dark calf-length skirt, and black socks or stockings.

The comic is colored mostly in dim shades of blue, indicating dusk or nighttime.

PANEL 1

Cat and Dog are looking out at the horizon. There’s an orange-yellow glow all along the horizon.

CAT: What’s that glow on the horizon?

DOG: It’s democracy burning.

PANEL 2

They both continue staring at the distant horizon. The cat crosses her arms and looks angry.

DOG: The fire will rush over us and burn everything down pretty soon.

CAT: That’s horrible! Can’t the Democrats stop it?

PANEL 3

A more distant shot shows us a landscape of unrealistically steep, round hills. Cat puts a hand on her face, flabbergasted. The dog seems emotionally withdrawn or numb (as she’s looked all along).

DOG: They could… Except Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema decided we’re not going to.

CAT: But… How can they do that?

DOG: The rules say they can.

PANEL 4

The cat yells, looking panicked. The dog, still calm, looks at the cat out of the corner of her eye.

CAT: We can’t just stand here while democracy burns! We have to DO SOMETHING!

DOG: Yes, but– What can we do, specifically?

PANEL 5

A closer shot of the cat as she concentrates, a hand on her chin.

CAT: Well, we can… I mean, could we… Maybe if we…

CAT: Um…

PANEL 6

A distant shot from behind the two of them, so we are seeing them, and beyond them, the orange glowing horizon. The cat slumps a bit, looking at the ground.

CAT: Well… Fuck.

DOG: That sums it up.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

Conservatives, 1988-Present

Cartoon by Barry


I can keep drawing these cartoons because a bunch of people support my patreon, mostly at $1 or $2 levels, which I think is really cool. Join us!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. Each panel shows a different character or collection of characters. All characters shown are white.

PANEL 1

An extreme closeup of a white person who, seen from this close, could be any gender. They are screaming, spittle flying from their mouth.

PERSON: Look out! Political Correctness is coming!

PANEL 2

A woman is running on a desolate hillside, screaming in panic.

WOMAN: It’s the Social Justice Warriors! Flee! Flee!

PANEL 3

A bald man in a short-sleeved collared shirt with a reddish necktie is waving his arms around in the air and yelling at the reader. Despite being bald, he has very long eyebrows that stick out in a few directions (and I honestly have no idea what I was thinking when I drew those eyebrows!).

MAN: Cultural Marxism is here!

PANEL 4

A woman lifts her face to the sky, hands on her cheeks, yelling in panic. She’s wearing a long skirt with a pattern of stars, a collared shirt, and a reddish vest.

WOMAN: The Woke will destroy us all!

PANEL 5

We see three people. Far away from us, on a rocky hill, a person seen only in silhouette is yelling.  In the middle ground, a terrified looking person with shoulder-length hair is looking towards us. And in the close foreground – so close that half his head is missing – a man with huge bulging eyes and a big open mouth is staring at the reader.

SILHOUETTE PERSON: Run! It’s Cancel Cultue!

PANEL 6

An older man, with white hair and a white beard is yelling at the reader, his mouth huge. He’s wearing a brown-and-red-checkered shirt and yanking his own hair with both hands.

MAN: Critical Race Theory! Nooooooooooo


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites |

I’ve Got Nothing Against Trans People. But…

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by Becky Hawkins and I.


Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A buck or two makes a real difference.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels.

PANEL 1

A white woman with a big smile and brown hair is smiling and holding up a book. The book is entitled “Save The Children” and shows a small crying girl behind bars with a red frowny face over her abdomen.

The woman appears to be on TV – a two-level scrolling chyron at the bottom of the panel reads “Gay Menace Is Now Trans Menace” and “…enator says woke trans stole her lunch mone…”

WOMAN: My book is about how trans people are indoctrinating our children and enticing lesbian girls to become transgenders!

WOMAN: Please understand I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 2

A middle-aged white male politician, wearing a gray suit, is speaking from behind a podium; we can see that a TV camera is pointed at him. The podium has a seal that says “Real America.” He’s standing in front of two American flags. He holds up a finger to make a point.

POLITICIAN: My legislation will ban transgenders from sports. And public bathrooms. And medical care for trans kids.

POLITICIAN: It will also let doctors, nurses and pharmacists refuse to treat transgenders!

POLITICIAN: Of course I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 3

A white man with a full beard, wearing a open neck shirt under a suit jacket, is sitting in front of a laptop and typing rapidly (“tap tap tap tap tap tap tap”). He’s grinning in an unfriendly way. On the table next to his laptop are a number of take-out coffee cups, a crumpled-up soda can, and a mug that says “Liberal Tears.”  In the space above his laptop, we can see what he’s typing.

MAN: Why say “trans women” when I can say “men wearing dresses” instead?

MAN: But I’ve got NOTHING against trans people!

PANEL 4

A hand holds a smartphone. On the smartphone screen, we can see a red-headed woman in a gown, wearing a dress with blue earrings and a blue necklace, sitting comfortably on a huge, old-fashioned wooden chair that would look at home in Hogwarts. She leans on one arm and makes an open gesture with her other palm.

REDHEAD: My new novel is about a killer who wears dresses and murders woman! It’s a sequel to my novel where a trans woman attempts to murder my hero.

REDHEAD: And my new essay is about how the trans movement is a mortal danger to real women.

REDHEAD: But I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 5

The set of a TV chat show called “Just Asking Questions.” (We know that’s what it’s called because “Just Asking Questions” is printed in huge letters on the side of the table the guests are sitting around. Plants on either side of the set are in pots with the painted on words “The JAQ Off.”)

The host, a nicely-dressed woman with stylish hair, sits in a chair on the left, smiling. Her guests, seating around the table, are the four characters we met in the first four panels of this comic strip.

HOST: Why do so many trans people say you’ve got something against them?

“SAVE THE CHILDREN” AUTHOR LADY: (shrugs as if bewildered)

POLITICIAN (arms folded, above-it-all expression): It’s a Mystery.

BEARDED DUDE: (ignores everything around him while he grins and types quickly on his smartphone)

REDHEAD: I blame cancel culture.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Message in a Bottle

Cartoon by Barry


Supporting my patreon helps me make more swell cartoons!


I was having trouble with the first figure in panel one, so I searched for a reference photo to help me out, and found one, from a photographer who creates many reference photos. They also generously gave me permission to reproduce their photo in a process image. I always enjoy seeing process images, so I imagine some of you enjoy them, as well.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All of the panels show two women talking in some sort of park or meadow (green and hilly with some trees in the background), with a gentle river or large stream in the foreground. The first woman has long curly-with-spirals hair, and is wearing a hairband. She’s wearing black pants, torn on one knee, and a hoodie. The second woman has short hair and glasses, and is wearing a short-sleeved shirt with a “!” logo on it and purple pants.

PANEL 1

HAIRBAND is crouching down and reaching for a bottle floating in the stream. The bottle, if you look closely, has a rolled-up piece of paper in it. GLASSES looks a little surprised but also amused.

HAIRBAND: Look, a message in a bottle!

GLASSES: What’s it say?

PANEL 2

Hairband has removed the paper from the bottle and is reading from it; the bottle is held in her other hand. Glasses is holding up a forefinger as she makes a point.

HAIRBAND: It says “Help! We’re trapped in a country where an absurdly awful minority party is attacking elections and democracy!”

GLASSES: So if the problem is a bad political party, all they have to do-

PANEL 3

A close-up of Hairband shows her continuing to read from the paper, with a concerned expression. Glasses speaks from off panel.

HAIRBAND: It goes on… “That party stays viable because bad constitutional design and partisan judges have made it possible for them to remain viable while most voters oppose them.”

GLASSES: I see! In that case, they can-

HAIRBAND: “And even that is a symptom of how entrenched interests of race and wealth have controlled the country from the start.”

PANEL 4

Scowling a bit with concentration, Glasses speaks, looking less certain now than in the previous panels. Hairband is kneeling down and reaching for a second bottle that has floated along the river.

GLASSES: So the root of all the problems are entrenched interests? So can they-

HAIRBAND: Hold on, there’s another bottle.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

White People (But With Subtitles)

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! (Patrons got to see this cartoon over two months ago!)


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a 3×3 grid. The central panel has no images other than large title lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

Each of the other panels has an image of a single white person talking directly to the reader. All of the panels have yellow printed subtitles, “translating” what the person is saying.

PANEL 1

A cheerful looking white man stands in front of flowering bushes. He’s holding out one hand towards us, shaking it in a “no no no” gesture. He’s wearing a tee-shirt that says “Close The Border” with an illustration of the border wall (although the illustration is kind of unclear and I suspect a lot of readers won’t get that, but that’s okay).

MAN: It’s not about race!

SUBTITLE: It’s completely about race.

PANEL 2

A light-haired white woman leans casually against a stone wall as she talks to the reader, smiling.

WOMAN: Of course I have Black friends!

SUBTITLE: I ask my Black doorman about his kids if I’m not in a hurry.

PANEL 3

A white man with glasses, a mustache, and a necktie sits at a desk, a laptop open in front of him. He has one hand raised, palm up, in a sort of half-a-shrug gesture.

MAN: They’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

SUBTITLE: I’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

PANEL 4

A white woman stands on a city street; we can see bits of two buildings, and an alleyway, behind her. She has glasses and her red hair is in a bun. She’s smiling, and holding one hand to her chest (just below her collarbone) in a somewhat surprised manner.

WOMAN: You’re so articulate!!!

SUBTITLE: I’m surprised that Latinos are intelligent.

PANEL 5

This panel has nothing but large lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

PANEL 6

A white man with a van dyke beard and a full-of-himself expression is at some sort of party (we can see a few other partiers in silhouette in the background) and holding a wine glass.

MAN: I’m one-twentieth Indian myself, so I know all about reservations.

SUBTITLE: Your culture, my party chatter.

PANEL 7

A white woman with a checkered shirt is behind the wheel of a car, speaking out the window to us with a somewhat grumpy expression.

WOMAN: I’m not against assistance to hardworking families.

SUBTITLE: I’m against assistance to brown families.

PANEL 8

A redheaded white man clasping his hands in front of him and standing on a grassy hillside smiles wide and speaks directly to the viewer. His tee shirt has a manga drawing of a pretty woman.

MAN: Asian women are so beautiful and quiet!

SUBTITLE: Let me tell you what kind of porn I enjoy.

PANEL 9

A light-haired white woman holding a book (possibly a bible) open, as if she was just reading it, speaks to us. She has a pleasant smile, and is standing in front of a small but nice church building, which features a bell tower with a large clock on it.

WOMAN: Judeo Christian values built this country!

SUBTITLE: If I put “Judeo” at the start of sentences, I sound less like a Christian theocrat.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists |

Arguing On The Internet

Cartoon by Barry


Please help us make more swell cartoons by supporting my Patreon!

(Patrons got to see this cartoon months before I posted it in public.)


This cartoon is drawn by my awesome and frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins. I especially love what she did with the expression and lighting on the character’s face in the last panel.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny additional “kicker” panel under the fourth panel.

PANEL 1

We see a woman with bright purple hair is sitting at a desk, facing a desktop computer, and facepalming. The room looks like an apartment or house, not a place of business.

There’s an open soda can next to her. In the background we can see a window with blue sky, a poster that combines the anarchy “A” symbol with a drawing of a cat face and the caption “Equality! Justice! Naps!,” and a cat lying on a cat bed below the window.

There is a computer-drawn rectangular word balloon, with sound effects reading “tap tap tap tap” leading from the balloon towards the computer, showing what she’s typing on the computer.

TYPED ON THE COMPUTER: If you’d look at the evidence for even a second you’d see tha

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): What am I even doing?

PANEL 2

The same shot. The purple-haired woman has leaned back a bit and has a hand on her chin as she thinks. In the background, the cat has looked up at her with a little ? floating over its head.

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): I’ve been arguing online for hours. He’s not gonna change his mind. There are so many better things I could be doing.

PANEL 3

A close shot of her, now with wide eyes and a big smile, looking up a bit in anticipation.

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): Yes! I’ll organize a zoom with friends I haven’t seen lately! And take a walk! And I’ll finally volunteer for that anti-hunger group. Starting right now!

PANEL 4

The same shot as the first two panels. But it’s much darker now; through the window we can see the moon and stars. The only source of light in this room seems to be the computer monitor, shining on Purplehair’s face. There are now many more empty soda cans scattered around her.

Purplehair is typing, leaning foward, looking angry but also exhausted; her eyes are wide and bloodshot (in a cartoony comedy fashion). Her cat is leaning against her shoulder, trying to get her attention. The cat has a little thought balloon with a picture of a can of cat food in it.

Another computer-style speech balloon has the “tap tap tap tap” sound effect leading from the balloon towards the computer keyboard.

TYPED ON THE COMPUTER: And ANOTHER thing! Why do YOU guys ALWAYS SAY you’re fo

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE COMIC STRIP

We see Purplehair’s face; she has a huge satisfied smile and is glowing.

PURPLEHAIR: I’ve done it – I’ve proven that a stranger on the internet is wrong!

PURPLEHAIR: Now I’ll never have to do that again!


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Uncategorized |

What Kind of People Sexualize Children?

Cartoon by Barry


Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.


This strip was drawn by my frequent collaborator Becky Hawkins.  As usual, Becky excels at communicating setting after setting in small panels; I think the store interior in panel 3 is particularly nice. I also love the way she ages Lucy and Lucy’s dad from panel to panel.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the comic.

PANEL 1

Two toddlers, one a blonde girl dressed in pink, and the other a boy in blue, are playing in a sandbox in a park. They aren’t paying any attention to each other. The girl is just sort of making a pile of sand; the boy is experimentally biting on the handle of the little plastic shovel (and seems to be enjoying it). In the background, two adults are watching the kids and talking to each other, a red-headed man (who I’ll call “Dad”) and a blonde woman.

DAD: Look at Lucy, flirting and making eyes at him!

WOMAN: Look at him, showing off for her!

PANEL 2

We seem to be outside a school building or daycare; the building is made of red bricks, and we can see paper cut-out hearts taped to the large windows. In front of the building, near a hopscotch game chalked onto the pavement, is Lucy (two or three years older, but we can recognize her by the similar shade of pink and the blonde hair) and another boy. The boy is yanking on Lucy’s pony tail, and Lucy looks annoyed. In the foreground, two adults – including the redheaded dad from panel 1 – are watching, looking amused. (The other adult is a woman, but not the same woman as the woman in panel 1).

DAD: I think Lucy has a boyfriend!

WOMAN: It’ll be so cute if they marry each other someday!

PANEL 3

We are in a shop with fancy, bright-colored dresses and costume jewelry and stuff. The redheaded man, now maybe a bit fuller around the waist, is chatting to a shopgirl while gesturing towards a burgundy outfit on a mannequin. The outfit is very fancy, and has two pieces, a band shirt and a short skirt, leaving the mannequin’s waist bare. Lucy, now looking a few years older, is looking up at the outfit expressionlessly.

MAN: I just couldn’t wait to get Lucy on the pageant circuit! Lucy, let’s try this one on you!

PANEL 4

Some years later, Lucy – now looking like a young teen – and her dad (now quite a bit chubbier, and his hairline is beginning to recede) are sitting at home, dad in a comfortable looking armchair, while Lucy sits at a table in the background doing homework. Lucy is looking up at her dad, and a “!” has appeared next to her head. Dad is speaking and gesturing angrily at something on his smartphone.

DAD: Just look at this! Diagnosing children as “trans”… Prescribing “puberty blockers”… What kind of people sexualize children?

SMALL KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist is speaking to the redheaded dad. The redheaded dad – apparently older, as his hairline has receded further – is turning away from Barry the cartoonist.

BARRY: Trans children’s healthcare isn’t about “sex.” It’s about identity, comfort, and—

DAD: Can’t talk — Lucy and I need to practice our purity ball dance.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

The Great GOP Anti-Voting Cycle

Cartoon by Barry


If you like this cartoon, help me make more by supporting my Patreon. A $1 or $2 pledge really helps!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON 

The cartoon shows four people walking clockwise in a circle around three people. The four people are an older white man in a suit – let’s call him The President (he isn’t drawn to look like Donald Trump, he’s just a generic politician). Next, going clockwise, are two well-dressed middle-aged people, a woman and a man. We’ll call them The Senators. And moving clockwise, next is a white-haired man with a beard and mustache; he is wearing judge’s robes, so we’ll call him The Judge.

It’s a big hall of the sort you find in some nice government buildings – fancy wainscoting on the wall, wooden floors, a large institutional-looking carpet with swirly patterns, a big potted plant (more like a small tree) near the wall.

Each person or pair – the President, the Senators, and the Judge – is holding a rope, which they are wrapping around the three ordinary citizens in the middle as they walk in a circle around them. They all look cheerful. The three ordinary citizens, who look unhappy and a bit stunned, have been thoroughly tied up.

There are dotted line arrows – the sort that indicate “read this next.” One points from the President to the Senators. One points from the Senators to the Judge. And a third and final arrow points from the Judge to the President.

PRESIDENT: And after Republican judges allow the anti-voting laws, I’ll be president even if most voters prefer the Democrat. Then I’ll nominate more Republican judges.

An arrow leads from the President to the Senators. The male Senator speaks.

SENATOR: And after the President nominates more Republican judges, Republican Senators can confirm the judges and write more anti-voting laws!

An arrow leads from the Senators to the Judge.

JUDGE: And after Republican Senators confirm us, Republican judges can rule that their anti-voting laws are constitutional!

An arrow leads from the Judge back to the President.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

Are You GENUINELY Poor?

Cartoon by Barry


Please support these cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Just a $1 or $2 pledge means a lot to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows two men: A not-wealthy looking man with shaggy hair and some stubble, and a bald man in glasses, wearing a business suit and tie. Each panel shows them at a sidewalk with grass growing in the background.

PANEL 1

Shaggy is wearing a wrinkled collared shirt and jeans. Necktie is wearing a gray suit with a tie with a dot pattern.

It’s bright daytime. Shaggy, with his back turned to Necktie, is looking at and poking a smartphone, and, in the helpful way people so often do in the first panel of my cartoons, talking aloud to himself. Necktie is turning to look at, and yell at, Shaggy.

SHAGGY: I can’t find a job and I’m out of money… Time to google “food stamps.”

NECKTIE: Food stamps are for people who are genuinely poor. If you were poor, you wouldn’t own a smartphone, would you?

PANEL 2

A caption says “one week later.”

From the light, it appears to be early evening. Shaggy is wearing a plaid shirt and Black pants, and has a backpack; Necktie is wearing a pinstripe suit and a tie with horizontal stripes.

Shaggy is looking worried and has a hand on his chest; Necktie is sternly talking to, and pointing at, Shaggy.

SHAGGY: I sold my phone, but now I’m out of money again.

NECKTIE: So sell your car. No one who owns a car is poor.

PANEL 3

A caption says “one month later.”

The same two men, on a similar patch of sidewalk. Shaggy is wearing sweatpants with a stripe down the side, and a hole in one knee, and a tee shirt. Necktie is wearing a dark blue suit, a black shirt, and a light-colored necktie.

Shaggy is sitting on the curb, slumping, looking down both literally and metaphorically. Necktie, talking to Shaggy, looks very cheerful.

SHAGGY: Now I’ve got no money for food, no phone for job hunting, and no car to get to a job!

NECKTIE: Excellent! Now you’re genuinely poor!

PANEL 4

The same scene, a moment later. Shaggy, looking hopeful, is looking up at Necktie. Necktie folds his arms and grins even more.

SHAGGY: So now you’re okay with me getting food stamps?

NECKTIE: Nope!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons |

You’re So Brave, I’d Rather Be Dead

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoons at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. The first five panel shows a woman with blue hair with a thin pink streak, thin oval glasses, and arms that end slightly above where her elbows would be. In each panel she appears, she’s in a different setting talking to a different person. I’m going to call her GLASSES.

PANEL 1

A caption at the top of the panel says “Monday.” A brown-haired woman, hands clutched together in front of her chin, is anxiously staring at Glasses. Glasses, who was walking and is wearing a backpack, turns back to look at the woman.

ANXIOUS: You’re so brave. I’d rather die than live like that!

GLASSES: Um… Thank you?

PANEL 2

A caption says “Tuesday.” In a grocery store, a muscular man in a sleeveless tee, who is pushing a grocery cart, talks loudly at Glasses. He is between Glasses and the shelf, and Glasses is gesturing towards the shelf behind him, looking a little annoyed.

MUSCLES: I can’t imagine being you. I’d rather be dead.

GLASSES: Dude, I just want some Pop Tarts.

PANEL 3

A caption says “Wednesday.” Glasses is seating in the… what do you call those things? The sort of built-in stadium seating some college lecture halls have, with a series of long curved benches and desks, each one on a higher level as they get further from the front of the room, so everyone has a good view of the professor. Glasses has a laptop open on the desk in front of her. We can see a couple of bored looking students in the row behind Glasses.  Next to Glasses is a man wearing a jacket, one of those “image of a necktie” tee shirts, with his black hair in a long ponytail and an expression of extreme disgust. Glasses looks very annoyed as she responds to him.

PONYTAIL: I couldn’t stand not wiping my own butt. I’d die first!

GLASSES: Shockingly, butt wiping isn’t actually the pinnacle of human existence.

PANEL 4

A caption says “Thursday.” Glasses walks down a city sidewalk, a cartoon cloud indicating grumpiness floating above her. Behind her, a man wearing sandals and pants with torn knees, and carrying a shopping bag, grins as he talks at her; she doesn’t even bother turning back to look.

SANDALS: It’s inspiring that you haven’t committed suicide.

PANEL 5

A caption says “Friday.” An older couple, a man and a woman, are looking at Glasses; the man, wide-eyed, is speaking, but is cut off by Glasses yelling at him, leaning forward angrily.

MAN: I’d rather be dead than-

GLASSES: I don’t want to die. I have a great life! Except for ablebodied people telling me my life isn’t worth living!

PANEL 6

The “camera” pulls back to show the man and woman now standing by themselves; Glasses, it is implied, has stomped off and left the scene. The man and woman look annoyed as they look in the direction Glasses went.

MAN: Those people are so rude!

WOMAN: Obviously it’s the disability that makes her so angry.

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites |

Which Kids Matter

Cartoon by Barry


Help me keep making cartoons by supporting my Patreon! I make most of my living from people pledging small amounts, like $1 or $2, and I think that’s awesome.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same thing: Two women walking through a hilly park as they argue. The two are staying at least six feet apart from each other as they talk.

The woman in front is wearing a jacket with rolled-up sleeves, black tights with holes in them, and a striped shirt. She has a pink streak in her black hair. The woman behind is wearing a skirt with a pattern of exclamation marks, a white collared shirt, and has wavy hair falling to a little below shoulder level. She’s wearing glasses.

PANEL 1

PINK is talking calmly while, behind her, GLASSES waves her arms and talks in an argumentative fashion.

PINK: So when an eleven year old trans kid is prescribed puberty delaying drugs, that could spare them decades of suffering!

GLASSES: But what if a boy likes dolls, so his parents decide he’s a girl and force him to change sex? That’s why we must outlaw puberty delaying drugs!

PANEL 2

Pink isn’t yelling but she’s speaking passionately, waving her hands as she talks. Behind her, Glasses has her hands in her pockets and is listening without much expression.

PINK: I’ve never seen a real case like that. That would be awful. But if a case like that happened, it’d be one in a million. On the other hand, there are definitely trans kids who need this treatment.

PANEL 3

Pink turns back a bit to talk directly at Glasses as she asks Glasses a question. Glasses, hands still in pocket, replies calmly.

PINK: So how many trans kids would you sacrifice to prevent one hypothetical non-trans kid being forced into delayed puberty?

GLASSES: All of them.

PANEL 4

Pink has now turned all the way around, looking a bit horrified, and holding her palms up in a “let me just explain this” gesture. Glasses has stopped walking, has folded her arms, and has raised her voice, with an angry expression.

PINK: I don’t think you understand – we could be talking about a hundred thousand-

GLASSES: I said all of them!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, LGBT cartoons |