Too Petty To Talk About

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is drawn by R. E. Ryan!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. All of them show different scenes, but all of them focus on the same character – a thirtyish, square-jawed guy with short light brown hair and a seemingly permanent scowl on his face. Let’s call him SCOW (short for scowl).

PANEL 1

Scow is sitting and typing at a computer in his apartment. He’s wearing an undershirt. In the background we can see city buildings and the sun high in a blue sky.

A word balloon shows us what Scow is typing.

SCOW: Why are you talking about racism in music? There are more important things!

PANEL 2

Scow is now sitting up in bed (he has a nice bedroom, with dark wood furniture and framed art on the wall), wearing red jammies and intently typing on his phone.

SCOW: Time spent talking about race could be spent talking about something important!

PANEL 3

Scow is apparently at Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner – there’s a big turkey on the table. He’s wearing an argyle sweater vest and talking intently to the unfortunate 12-ish looking girl sitting next to him. (His mouth is full, and little bits of food are coming out.) The girl looks annoyed and is rolling her eyes.

SCOW: Who cares about race and casting? There are more crucial things to talk about!

PANEL 4

Scow is now back in his apartment – it looks like a living room – wearing VR googles and (presumably) talking to someone in VR. He’s waving his arms as he speaks.

SCOW: Why do they always make a white character Black when they remake movies? They’re obsessed with race!

PANEL 5

This is the same scene as panel 1 – Scow is sitting in his apartment typing on his computer. The window in the background now shows stars and a moon. Scow is leaning his head heavily on one hand, presumably because he’s exhausted but well into the “I can’t go to bed, somebody is wrong on the internet” zone.

SCOW: Don’t we have more important things to focus on?

PANEL 6

Scow and a friend are sitting on a park bench hanging out. Scow is talking to the friend; the friend is reading his book and seemingly paying no attention to Scow. (I mean, I’m assuming that the guy is Scow’s friend, because that’s what I said when I wrote the script, but nothing in the panel establishes that, maybe this is just some random stranger that Scow sat down next to and started ranting at, in which case, wince.)

SCOW: And these ridiculous people spend all their time talking about the same unimportant things!

SCOW: Over and over!

SCOW: They never stop!


Too Petty To Talk About | Patreon

Posted in Racism & Racists |

Only Some Can Be Objective

Cartoon by Barry


A cartoon by me and Nadine Scholtes.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has three panels – although the final panel is divided into two sub-panels, as we shall see.

PANEL 1

In a newsroom (we can see a desk, and framed front-page stories on the wall), an older reporter, who is white and male, is talking to a younger Black reporter. The older reporter is wearing an off-white shirt with a red necktie; the younger reporter is a bit more casually dressed in a gray polo shirt. Let’s call the older reporter “NECKTIE.”

Necktie has his arms folded behind his back, and a condescending expression.

NECKTIE: Percy, you can’t write about police violence. You’re not objective.

PANEL 2

We are looking at Necktie again. In the background, we can see a young male reporter, with a red shirt and glasses, and a younger female reporter, wearing a jacket over a light pink blouse, both sitting behind desks.

NECKTIE: Just like Joey can’t write about trans issues.

NECKTIE: And Alicia tweeted about being sexually assaulted. So she can’t write sex crime stories. Reporters must be objective!

PANEL 3

This panel is divided into two sub-panels. The first panel shows Alicia, having stood up, speaking critically to Necktie; Necktie has his arms folded and is grinning.

ALICIA: But by that standard, isn’t everyone “biased”?

NECKTIE: Not quite everyone.

A thought balloon leads from Necktie’s head to the second (and larger) sub-panel. This panel shows Necktie, now wearing a jacket, a crown, and a sash that has “cis white male” printed on it, standing on a little platform so he’s above the other three reporters. The other three reporters are enthusiastically cheering for Necktie, and Alicia is swooning a bit with little hearts in the air around her head.

Behind Necktie is an enormous lit-up sign – the kind with a border made of light bulbs. The sign says, in large letters, “ALWAYS OBJECTIVE.” Balloons and confetti and roses fall from above. The balloons have lettering, which say things like “upper class” “white” “cis” “male” “abled” “thin” and “straight.”

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” means easily-overlooked and meaningless details in a cartoon the cartoonists put in, which maybe you (and they) find amusing. In this case, the chicken fat can be found in the framed newspapers on the walls in the background.

In panel 1, there are two such newspapers, each partly blocked by foreground elements and by word balloons. Both of them are for a newspaper named “Background Tribune.”

The first is almost entirely blocked by Necktie standing in front of it. But since I wrote it, I know that it says “NO ONE CAN READ THIS! Virtually Entire Text Hidden By Drawings.”

The second article is less blocked, and says “KISSINGER DEAD. Sun Shines Bright, Babies And Unicorns Celebrating.” (Although I wrote the script for this cartoon years ago, I added in the chicken fat on November 29 2023, the day Henry Kissinger died.)

In panel 2, the newspapers on the wall are such tiny elements of the background that I doubt anyone will be able to read them online (although they might be legible in the eventual book collection). The first says “NO ONE CAN READ THIS! This Text Is Simply Too Tiny To Be Legible.” The second says “NO ONE CAN READ THIS ONE EITHER. This Gag Is The Same As The Other One.”


Only Some Can Be Objective | Patreon

Posted in Media criticism, Nadine Scholtes collaborations, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny |

G.O.P. Approved History

Cartoon by Barry


Welcome back to artist R. E. Ryan! This is the second cartoon he’s done with me; I certainly hope there’ll be more.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a different scene with different characters.

PANEL 1

A bald white man wearing a brown suit is speaking directly to the reader. He has a gun-shaped flame lighter in one hand, a flame coming out the end, and a book in the other hand. The book’s title is “Woke Gender Stuff,” and the book is on fire.

MAN: You’ve probably heard woke liberal media lies about Republicans banning books from schools. But we love learning! We just want students to hear the truth! So sit down and learn some G.O.P. APPROVED HISTORY.

(The last three words of the Man’s dialog are in huge, friendly letters, forming the title of this strip.)

PANEL 2

Two Black men are wearing Victorian-era suits and ties; one is wearing a tall black top hat. They are seated in plush armchairs in what looks like an exclusive men’s club; they are smoking cigars and drinking from wine glasses.

The first man grins as he speaks to us; the second man is leaning forward in his chair, as if he’s intent on us getting this point.

1st MAN: I’m a Black African in 1526! My friends and I created the intercontinental slave trade and whites had nothing to do with it!

2nd MAN: Remember that, kids – whites are totally innocent!

PANEL 3

A modern-looking boxing ring. There are two boxers in the ring. The one on the left, who doesn’t look very strong, is wearing a royal crown over a white powdered wig, red boxing gloves, and a “Che” t-shirt. The one on the right has red hair, is shirtless (and has huge muscles), has stars-and-bars themed boxing gloves and shorts, and has a giant tattoo covering his back which says “We The People” in the distinctive handwriting of the Declaration of Independence.

Let’s call them KING GEORGE and THOMAS JEFFERSON. George looks tired, while Thomas looks very energetic and is grinning at us.

KING GEORGE: I’m King George (they/them), here to fight Tom Jefferson!

JEFFERSON: I’m Tom Jefferson! I invented freedom. I’m so kind to my slaves, and did I mention I’m definitely not a rapist?

PANEL 4

Abe Lincoln, Ronald Reagan, and Jesus have their arms around each other as they smile out at us. Abe is wearing his signature top hat and holding a can of beer. Jesus has a halo floating over his tricorn hat, is gently glowing all over, and is wearing a yellow “Don’t Tread On Me” t-shirt.

LINCOLN: I’m Abe Lincoln, and I’m a Republican! That’s all you need to know about me.

REAGAN: I’m Abe’s best friend Ronald Reagan!

JESUS: And I’m Jesus! We’re all Republicans!


GOP Approved History | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Conservatives, History, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

So Where Are You From?

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon drawn by Nadine Scholtes.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows the same two youngish (20s or maybe 30s) women chatting at an outdoor party (there are lights strung in the air, and people milling about in the background). Both women are holding drinks. The sky is dark blue with stars faintly showing, indicating early evening.

The first woman is white. She’s wearing a red blouse, glasses, and has fashionably-cut straight hair, a bit long than shoulder length, with bangs. She’s holding a martini glass. Let’s call her “Glasses.”

The second woman looks like she has south Asian heritage. Her hair, also straight and fashionably cut, is parted on one side and ends an inch above her shoulders. She’s wearing a purple dress with a pattern of off-white flecks, and is carrying a brown saddlebag style purse over one shoulder. She’s drinking something out of a plain glass. Let’s call her “Dress.”

PANEL 1

Both women smile as they chat.

GLASSES: So where are you from?

DRESS: New York.

PANEL 2

Glasses, still smiling and maybe laughing a little, waves one hand in a dismissive manner. Dress is looking away, in a “can I get out of this conversation politely” sort of way.

GLASSES: No, where are you really from?

DRESS: Brooklyn. Look, just because I’m Asian doesn’t mean I’m not from America.

PANEL 3

An awkward moment. Both women take a sip from their drinks; Glasses looks away a bit, muttering.

GLASSES (small): Oh, right. Sorry…

PANEL 4

Smiling big again, Glasses rallies and asks Dress another question. Dress facepalms.

GLASSES: So where’d you learn to speak English so well?

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist, looking awkward and holding a drink with a slice of lime on the edge of the glass, is being talked at by Glasses, who has an aggrieved expression.

GLASSES: Why is she offended? It was a compliment.


So Where Are You From? | Patreon

Posted in Nadine Scholtes collaborations, Racism & Racists |

The GOP’s Dream Speech

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is drawn by Kevin Moore.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny fifth “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.

PANEL 1

Dr Martin Luther King Jr, dressed in a gray 1960s suit with a black tie, stands behind a podium, with an array of microphones positioned to catch his words. Behind him we can see a crowd of Black supporters listening. MLK is holding up a finger to emphasize his point.

Behind him, a white MAGA dude, wearing a polo shirt with a big green stripe, green shorts, and a red MAGA cap, is emerging out of some sort of sci-fi portal hanging in the air. The MAGA dude is holding out a hand in a “STOP!” gesture and has an urgent, wide-eyed expression.

MLK: I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their skin but by—

MAGA: STOP! Dr. King, we gotta talk!

PANEL 2

Dr King looks a bit annoyed at the interruption, but remains courteous, speaking softly to the MAGA dude. The MAGA dude, not seeming to notice King’s annoyance, grins hugely and puts a hand on King’s shoulder.

MLK: Er… Excuse me, my friend. I’m giving a speech right now.

MAGA: I know! The 21st century GOP sent me back in a Time Machine to tell you to stop.

PANEL 3

MLK, taken aback, turns to face the MAGA dude. The MAGA dude, still grinning hugely, explains.

MLK: Pardon me?

MAGA: The “character not skin” bit? SUPER DUPER! But you said so many things that aren’t good for us! Like reparations, and socialism, and anti-war. Be a pal and quit?

PANEL 4

MLK is amused, clearly holding back a laugh. The MAGA dude is now the one taken aback.

MLK: So you think I’ll be silent because a white man from the future says my words are inconvenient for him?

MAGA: Uh… Yeah. Why, is that a problem?

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

MLK: You don’t know the first thing about me, do you?

MAGA: Nope! And I’d like to keep it that way!


The GOP’s Dream Speech | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Kevin Moore collaborations, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

What I Said CAN’T Be Racist Because…

Cartoon by Barry


By Becky Hawkins and I.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has eight panels, each of which shows a single white person speaking directly to the reader. An additional ninth panel – the center panel of the grid – has nothing in it but a large caption, written in a distorted font. The caption says:

WHAT I SAID CAN’T BE RACIST BECAUSE

PANEL 1

A fashionable looking woman, with an undercut hairstyle, cats eye glasses and a septum piercing, waves a hand dismissively.

WOMAN: Liberals can’t be racist. Everyone knows that.

PANEL 2

A man dressed like an academic, including a bow tie and a jacket with elbow patches, is standing in front of a blackboard, pointing to the blackboard with a, er, pointer. The blackboard is covered with complicated looking math equations, and at the bottom there’s a simple drawing of the academic’s face, and a drawing of a devil face, with a not equal sign (“≠”) between the two faces.

MAN: Because racists are bad bad people, and I’m a good person. Q.E.D.!

PANEL 3

A red-haired man, wearing a collared shirt with a nametag, points to himself. He has a pleased and proud expression. There’s a footnote at the bottom of the panel.

MAN: I’ve got a Black friend!*

FOOTNOTE: *work acquaintance

PANEL 4

A good-looking man in his twenties, wearing an open plaid shirt over a white t shirt, is speaking to us.

MAN: I’m not white! Family legend says that great great great Grandma was an Indian!

PANEL 5

This is the central panel. It has nothing in it but the words “WHAT I SAID CAN’T BE RACIST BECAUSE” in large distressed letters.

PANEL 6

A man talks to us, wearing blackface makeup and holding a banana. He’s shrugging.

MAN: I was only joking! That makes it okay!

PANEL 7

A blonde woman holding a drink makes the “come here” gesture towards people who are out of panel.

WOMAN: I adopted three children of color! THREE!

WOMAN: Prop, Shield and Excuse, come here so I can show these folks.

PANEL 8

A woman speaks to us. She looks as if she’s about to cry, and is holding a handkerchief in one hand.

WOMAN: If you say something I said is racist I might start crying and no one wants that.

PANEL 9

A person (could be either female or male) closes their eyes and holds their hands in front of them, as if praying. They are wearing blue robes. There is a halo shining out from behind their head, drawn as if in stained glass.

PERSON: My intentions were pure.


What I Said Can’t Be Racist Because… | Barry Deutsch on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Racism & Racists |

Somewhere South of the Broder Inside MAGA Brains

Cartoon by Barry


If you want to help us keep making cartoons, you should construct a time machine, become politically important in mid 1960s New York, and then before my birth in October 1968 lead the National Guard to attack the secret alien base in Long Island where their ADHD beam is located. Do not destroy the beam, because destroying it will cause an explosion of ADHD rays that will cover the entire earth and then no one anywhere will ever get anything done on time. Instead, sink it into the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean, because the secret giant squids are already ADHD and the rays can’t harm them. Also, while you’re at it, go into the near future from 2022 and write down some lottery numbers for me, thanks really appreciated we should do lunch.

Also, you can buy the book collections. Makes an acceptable Christmas gift, maybe!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “SOMEWHERE SOUTH OF THE BORDER.”

Two cheerful-looking people are standing outside and talking. One is a woman with dark hair drawn back into a ponytail, glasses, and a polka-dot skirt; let’s call her GLASSES. She’d holding out a smartphone.

The other person is a man with a mustache and a broad-brimmed straw hat, smoking a cigar. He also has dark hair, but his is a little reddish. Let’s call him CIGAR.

GLASSES: Joe my friend who’s a Democrat in the USA just called and invited us to sneak over the border! He says it’s easy!

CIGAR: We’ve got no pressing need to leave, but let’s go anyway!

PANEL 2

Glasses and Cigar are now at the US border, which we know is the US border because there’s a signpost that says “USA” with an arrow pointing. A grinning man with short-cropped blonde hair, waring a border patrol uniform and sunglasses, is running towards them with helium balloons.

A huge sign is hanging over everyone, which says “WELCOME IMMIGRANTS” in huge letters (the “i” is dotted with a heart), and in smaller letters below that says “Don’t Forget To Vote!”

GLASSES: Wow. We can just walk right in!

CIGAR: Look at that huge welcome sign!

BORDER PATROL DUDE: Welcome to Texas!

PANEL 3

Apparently some time has passed, because Glasses and Cigar are now in different outfits. Cigar is relaxing in a reclining chair next to a swimming pool; Glasses is walking up to Cigar and proudly pointing a thumb at herself. (Glasses is now pregnant.)

GLASSES: I just stole a job from a decent hard-working American!

CIGAR: I’m not even working! The government is just giving me welfare cash! Ha ha!

PANEL 4

The border between panels 3 and 4 is a thought balloon, leading to the head of a character in panel 4 (indicating that the entirety of the first three panels were in his imagination).

We’re now looking at two entirely different characters. Both are white. One, wearing a red MAGA cap, is punching his fist into his palm and looks angry. The other, wearing a necktie and button-down shirt, is rearing his head back and yelling as he shakes a hand at the sky.

MAGA DUDE: I’m sure that’s how it happens!

NECKTIE (very loudly): DAMN YOU LIBERALS!!


Somewhere South of the Border Inside MAGA Brains | Barry Deutsch on Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Immigration, Racism & Racists |

“Scientific” Racism

Cartoon by Barry


If you blah blah blah money blah blah blah support blah blah link.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon. The first five panels all show the same person, a white man wearing a light yellow polo shirt; he has glasses and a “van dyke” beard and mustache.  He’s standing in front of a blank background.

PANEL 1

The man seems to speak directly to the reader, looking annoyed, holding up a forefinger in a “let me just make this one point” gesture.

WHITE MAN : It’s not fair to say I’m racist just because I’m being scientific!

PANEL 2

The man looks a bit hurt and shrugs.

WHITE MAN: Just because I say certain races (like mine) are inherently more intelligent than certain other races (like Blacks)…

PANEL 3

Now he looks thoughtful, looking up into the air and placing a hand over his chin.

WHITE MAN: And just because I say high I.Q. people deserve all the best jobs and we should pay them (us) more and let them run everything…

PANEL 4

He folds his arms and looks, frankly, quite snotty.

WHITE MAN: And just because I ignore when “scientists” say society’s racial categories don’t really correspond to actual human genetic groupings…

PANEL 5

The “camera” has rotated around the man, but he hasn’t turned to remain facing towards us. Instead, he now seems to be speaking to someone off-panel. He’s looking worried and is holding the fingertips of a hand to his chest, indicating himself.

WHITE MAN: Just because of all of that, is it fair to call me a racist?

PANEL 6

The “camera” has zoomed out, and we can now see that he’s talking to three people. All three people are people of color (in my interpretation, two are African-American and one is Indian-American). All three are looking annoyed as they speak. The white man is angry and frustrated as he yells at them.

Instead of a blank background, we can now see that all four characters are standing on a city sidewalk, with closely-packed houses and a utility pole in the background.

TALL BLACK MAN WEARING A TIE: Yes.

SHORT BLACK WOMAN WITH A STRIPED SHIRT AND A GREEEN SKIRT: Definitely fair.

INDIAN WOMAN WITH GLASSES AND A SHORT FASHIONABLY CHOPPY HAIRCUT: Yup yup.

WHITE MAN (yelling): STOP CANCEL CULTURING ME!

TINY “KICKER” PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The short Black woman from panel 6 is talking to the white guy. He looks calm now but still a bit annoyed.

SHORT WOMAN: So who do you think it’s fair to call racist?

WHITE MAN: The guy who made this cartoon.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Racism & Racists |

Equal Opportunity, Not Equal Outcomes

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, you’ll probably also like sticking your toes into a mud bank and wiggling them until the neon worms come to nestle between your toes. If you can manage to stay like that for 30 hours straight despite the exhaustion and increasing pain from not moving (lifehack: bring a pillow to sit on), you’ll gain the power to walk across water. The downside is, you’ll leave glowing neon footprints everywhere you go, making it easy for the secretive government agency to track you down and throw you into their secret facility for studying people with powers. And the worst part is, the smooth-faced people in low-end businesswear who run that agency don’t like cartoons at all. So to pre-emptively get revenge on them, remember to subscribe to my patreon before they lock you up. (And say hi to the neon worms from me!)


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two people walking on a path on a hillside as they talk. The person walking in front is a Black man, with a mustache and beard, wearing a t shirt with a sort of smiley face on it, except the face has a neutral expression rather than a smile. The second person is a white man with black hair in a tidy haircut, and a plaid sweater-vest over a collared shirt. For purposes of this transcript, I’m calling these two characters TSHIRT and VEST.

PANEL 1

Vest is speaking seriously as he talks to Tshirt. Tshirt is very enthused about what he’s hearing, smiling big and spreading his arms expansively.

VEST: It’s stupid to expect equal outcomes, because not everyone is equal. Some people are just born with less ability than others. What we need is equal opportunity.

TSHIRT:  “Equal opportunity” sounds great!

PANEL 2

A close-up of Tshirt and he turns to look at Vest, enthusiastically smiling as he holds up a finger while making a point.

TSHIRT: Let’s start with a massive inheritance tax. Nothing‘s a more unequal opportunity than some people being born with millions while others start with nothing.

PANEL 3

A longer shot shows more of the environment; we can see plants with long leaves in the foreground, and trees in both the foreground and background. Tshirt, still very enthused, slaps a fist into a palm as he anticipates what might be done.  Vest looks panicked, holding up his palms in a “whoa there!” gesture, eyes wide.

TSHIRT: We can use that money to make other opportunities equal. Like free college! And free health care for all! And—

VEST: STOP!  I didn’t mean any of that stuff! I just mean Black people are less intelligent so we shouldn’t try to fix race inequality!

PANEL 4

Tshirt, looking calm but also angry, has turned to face Vest, with his hands on his hips. Vest has turned away from Tshirt, arms crossed, nose held high in a snooty expression.

TSHIRT: Oh, so you’re just a complete fucking racist.

VEST: Intolerant reactions like that are exactly why I prefer to say “equal opportunity.”


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Economic cartoons, Racism & Racists |

There’s Never Been a Worse Time for Free Speech!

Cartoon by Barry


Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins!


If you like these cartoons, you can help make more happen by moving to Portland, Oregon, and specifically into the shed next to my house, and every morning wake up and break into my house and stand over me saying “write! write! draw! draw you scum draw!” over and over, for hours, until I break, and don’t forget to support the Patreon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels. Each panel shows a different scene from a different era, with the first panel set in the 1890s, and each subsequent panel set in a later time period, until the final panel which is set in the present day.

PANEL 1

A bright summer day in the 1890s. In the foreground, a Black woman is watching three white men with an aggrieved posture. She’s wearing a blue dress. In the background, a uniformed police officer is talking to two other white men, one in a brown three-piece suit with matching bowler hat, while the other man looks more working-class with a white button-up shirt, no necktie, and suspenders.

Behind the men, we can see the still-smoking ruin of what was once a building.

MAN IN SUIT: We only burned down Ida Wells’ newspaper because she wrote against lynching.

COP: That seems reasonable.

PANEL 2

In the background, we can see a group of suffragettes in 1910s dresses and hats, crowded together and looking calm but nervous.  A couple of them are wearing sashes that read “votes for women.” Most of the suffragettes we see are white, but one is Black and another is Asian. The Asian woman is wearing a traditional Japanese kimono and hairstyle (modeled on Komako Kimura’s outfit and hair photographed at a 1917 suffragette march).

In the foreground, with their backs to us (so facing the women), a couple of cops are talking. One of them is slapping a palm with a billy club.

COP 1: These suffragettes were picketing the White House.

COP 2: Let the beatings begin!

PANEL 3

A wealthy looking couple, dressed in 1920s fashion (her in a blue hat with a red ribbon with flower decoration, and a matching blue jacket with puffy off-white cuffs and neck; him in an off-white suit, a straw boater with a red ribbon, blue necktie and red vest) are looking at the building across the street with some distress.

The building across the street has a sign saying “Apollo Theatre” over a revolving door entrance. A big theatre marquee over the entrances tells us that “The God of Vengeance” is playing, although the words are partly blocked by a word balloon. Another nearby sign says “Times Sq.”

WOMAN: A play with Jewish lesbians kissing?

MAN: Let’s call the police!

PANEL 4

An Asian man sits in a chair, holding up a sheet of paper. So many long horizontal strips have been sliced out of the paper that it’s made as much of holes as it is of paper. He’s wearing a collared blue shirt.

Behind him, an Asian woman leans forward to look over his shoulder. She’s wearing a red skirt and buttoned-up blouse, with a blue sweater over it. The hairstyle and clothing suggest the 1940s.

WOMAN: What’s that?

MAN: Letter from my friend Takashi in the internment camp.

PANEL 5

This panel shows two cops, a postman, and a woman in a dress. In the background, we can see a small but well-kept looking yellow house, with a tree in front and a planter under the front window.

One of the cops is putting the woman into the back seat of a police car. Judging from the woman’s hairstyle and pink, high-collared dress, this is the 1960s.

In the foreground, the postman is talking to the other cop, while pointing backwards with his thumb towards the woman. The cop is taking notes.

POSTMAN: We opened Virginia Prince’s mail and found lesbian love letters and something called “Transvestia Magazine”!

PANEL 6

We are looking at a TV set, on a table. Judging from the make of the TV and the style of the tablecloth under the TV, this is the 1970s.

On the TV a dignified-looking Black man, with white hair styled to be high on top of his head, black round glasses, and wearing a suit and tie, is speaking. (The man is Bayard Rustin.)

RUSTIN: I was arrested in the 1940s for being anti-war… In the 50s for being gay… And in the 60s for protesting Jim Crow.

PANEL 7

A current-day TV studio. Cameras and lights point at two people sitting at a table, one a middle-aged man wearing a gray suit with a blue tie, the other a younger-looking woman with black hair, glasses, and a blue short-sleeved dress. The man is spreading his arms out in an annoyed fashion while speaking, and the woman is pounding a fist on the table in front of her.  “Clap clap clap” sound effects on the bottom right of the panel indicate that the unseen audience is clapping for what the woman is saying.

MAN: Nowadays straight white men can’t say anything without being criticized!

WOMAN: There’s never been a worse time for freedom of speech!

SFX: Clap clap clap clap


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, History, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

You Can’t Call Me a Homophobe if I’m Not Afraid

Cartoon by Barry


Another collab with Becky Hawkins!


If you like these cartoons, then you’re an exceptionally refined person and people all over the world are clamoring to know you to such an extent that it’s actually become difficult for you to go out in public unless you wear like, a slouch hat and big sunglasses, but that just makes you look like a spy and other spies come up to you and try to exchange briefcases and it’s just awkward and also support the patreon.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a white man speaking directly to the reader; he has curly orange-ish hair and is wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt,

PANEL 1

MAN: Here’s a newsflash for you stupid lefties! Sometimes words aren’t literally true!

PANEL 2

The man smirks big and makes air quotes with his fingers.

MAN: Like when you call me a “homophobe” or “transphobe” just because I want those people fired from schools!

MAN: Idiot lefties! “Phobia” means “fear” but I’m not literally afraid! lol lol lol!

PANEL 3

He holds up a forefinger to emphasize his point. He’s grinning big.

MAN: You called me “white supremacist” when I said Blacks are genetically stupid…

MAN: But I think Asians are better at math than whites! So I don’t think whites are “supreme.” lolol!

PANEL 4

The man leans closer to the camera, widening his eyes and pursing his lips in a “oooh spooky” expression, while making the “mind blown” gesture with his hands on each side of his head.

MAN: The “big apple” is not a fruit! “Boxing rings” are square! “Hot dogs” aren’t dogs!

MAN: Aren’t you amazed at how clever I am? Is your mind blooown?


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

Nobody Back Then Knew Slavery Was Wrong!

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting my Patreon! Or by casting helpful spells!


This cartoon is, of course, drawn by Becky Hawkins, who did her usual wonderful job.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels; each panel shows a different scene with different characters.

PANEL 1

A caption at the top of the panel says “1710.”

A Black woman sits on the front steps of a ramshackle wooden house; a small boy is sitting next to her on the steps, and she’s bandaging an injury on his hand. She’s wearing a yellow kerchief wrapped around her hair and tied in back, and speaking to the viewer with an earnest expression.

Standing next to her is another Black woman, speaking a bit angrily to the viewer, with her fists on her hips. She’s wearing a red kerchief over her hair, tied on top, and a yellow dress with an apron.

Both of the dresses are modest and plain, and look old-fashioned by today’s standards.

RED KERCHIEF: Slavery is crushing our lives, our children’s lives…

YELLOW KERCHIEF: It’s simply evil!

PANEL 2

A caption at the top of the panel says “1776.”

The panel shows Thomas Jefferson and George Washington standing in Independence Hall, dressed in revolutionary-era men’s finery. Jefferson is smirking while leaning back against a table, and Washington is speaking more seriously, spreading his arms to make his point.

JEFFERSON: Even we know slavery is a horror!

WASHINGTON: And we’re super racist slaveowners!

PANEL 3

A caption at the top of the panel says “1859.”

Frederick Douglass, wearing a fine looking suit, and John Brown, wearing a rougher looking outfit and carrying a rifle, are standing in a clearing in a wooded area, talking to the viewer. Douglass has a serious expression; with one hand he’s covering his mouth, as if to keep Brown from hearing what he says, and with his other hand he’s pointing to Brown with a thumb. Brown is grinning and pumping a fist into the air.

BROWN: I hate slavery! So I’m gonna capture an armory and start a huge slave rebellion!

DOUGLASS: I’d do anything to end slavery. Except his stupid plan, because it won’t work and he’ll definitely be killed.

BROWN: Worth it!

PANEL 4

A caption at the top of the panel says “TODAY.”

A man with a shaved head and a scruffy beard is speaking to a smartphone mounted on a tripod. The tripod is also holding a ring light. There’s a blue sheet behind the man providing a background – what I’m saying is, this guy is a podcaster. He has an orange t shirt with an image of a hand with a raised middle finger and the caption “Cancel This.” The podcaster is holding one hand palm up, and pointing up with his other hand, as if to make a point.

SCRUFFY: It’s unfair to judge slave owners by today’s standards! Nobody back then knew slavery was wrong!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, History, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

The Purple People Next Door

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Kevin Moore.

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon! Each $2 pledge really helps us keep making new cartoons.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show the same scene: A suburban-looking back yard, surrounded by a chest-high wooden fence. On one side of the fence is a dad-looking white man, wearing a short-sleeved polo shirt (blue with yellow stripes) and brown shorts.

On the other side of the fence are a woman and a man, both of whom have vividly purple skin. His skin is somewhat lighter in color, and he’s completely bald (I joked to Kevin, when I saw his sketches, that Mr. Purple probably shaves his head so people won’t know he’s going gray). He’s wearing an orange t-shirt. Mrs Purple has neatly styled neck-length purple-black hair, and is wearing a reddish orange t-shirt with a squared-off collar. Throughout this cartoon, Mr. and Mrs. Purple have big, cheerful smiles.

PANEL ONE

Polo Shirt Guy is talking on his cell phone, looking quite cheerful, as he flips a burger on his barbeque. We can see some toys and a sandbox on the ground nearby. Behind him, Mr and Mrs Purple have walked up to the fence and are talking to him, but he doesn’t see them yet.

POLO SHIRT: It’s like I always say… I don’t care if someone’s Black, white or even purple. Doesn’t matter to me!

THE PURPLES (speaking in unison): We’re so glad to hear you say that.

PANEL TWO 

Polo Shirt Guy has turned his head and seen the Purples, and he’s taken aback. Both Mr and Mrs Purple are waving their hands at Polo Shirt.

POLO SHIRT: What? Who? What? I mean… What?

MR PURPLE: We’re Sally and Drew Purple. We just moved in next door!

PANEL THREE

Polo Shirt Guy has turned to face the Purples; he’s sweating and looks utterly distresed, even though he’s trying to be polite. He waves back at them, not noticing that he’s dropped his cell phone. Behind him in the background, we can see a tree with a tire swing, and a pink tricycle.

We’re looking at the scene from behind Mr and Mrs Purple, and can’t see Mrs Purple’s expression. Mr Purple is still smiling big and seems completely unaware of Polo Shirt’s distress.

POLO SHIRT: Oh. I see. Uh… Welcome to the neighborhood.

MR PURPLE: Hey, I see you have kids! Us too – we should schedule a playdate!

PANEL FOUR

Polo Shirt turns partly away from the Purples, his fists pressed against his chin and lower lip, his eyes huge, sweat flying. He looks even more distressed than in panel 3 as he babbles.

The Purples still give no sign of showing distress, although Mr Purple looks perhaps suspiciously amused. Mrs Purple grins as she talks.

POLO SHIRT: Oh! Uh, I don’t know… Scheduling and you know, um…

MRS PURPLE: Wouldn’t it be a hoot if our kids grew up and married each other?


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Kevin Moore collaborations, Racism & Racists |

Racist Bones

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy my cartoons, you could help me make more by supporting my Patreon! Lots of people making $1 and $2 pledges is how I make my living.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first three panels show three bones talking in a blank space. The three bones – a rib bone, a thigh bone, and a hip bone – are anthropomorphized, with cartoon faces, arms and legs.  They’re wearing white gloves with rolls at the wrist, like Mickey Mouse.

The fourth panel shows two human beings talking in a park.

PANEL 1

Rib Bone is talking to Thigh Bone and Hip Bone. Hip Bone, in particular, looks concerned.

RIB BONE: Thigh bone and hip bone! How’s it going?

THIGH BONE: Not good, Rib.

HIP BONE: We’ve been trying everything to get into this guy named Sam…

PANEL 2

In a closer shot, Thigh Bone leans back, laughing, and Hip Bone, still looking concerned, shrugs.

THIGH BONE: First Sam did a hilarious fake Asian accent! I love funny Asian accents, so I thought, “I’m in!”

HIP BONE: But then Sam said he was just joking, and as we all know, saying it’s a joke means it can’t be racist.

PANEL 3

A shot of the three bones. Rib Bone listens with a neutral expression and gosh darn it I just now realized, looking at the cartoon as I type the transcript, that I drew a mustache on Rib Bone in panel 1, but forgot the mustache in panel 3. Hold on, I’ll be back in a few minutes.

I’m back. Rib Bone, sporting a thick, luscious mustache, has a neutral expression as oh geez I just noticed I forgot to draw Rib Bone’s arm. Wait here, I’ll be right back.

Okay! Rib Bone, a character with both a mustache and arms, listens with a neutral expression. Thigh Bone steeples their fingers and is smiling in anticipation, and Hip Bone is grinning hugely.

THIGH BONE: Then Sam talked about how bad white men have it and how much easier it is for Blacks to find jobs.

HIP BONE: Exactly what I think! I thought for sure I was in! But then he said…

PANEL 4

Two men stand talking in a park. The first man — Sam — is white, blonde, wearing a  button-up tan shirt, brown slacks, and a nice-looking pair of sneakers. He is yelling and waving his arms, obviously angry. The other man has brown skin, black hair, and a van dyke beard. He’s wearing an orange tee with a “!” design, and is rolling his eyes.

SAM: I DON’T HAVE A RACIST BONE IN MY BODY!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Racism & Racists |

An Enduring Plan

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon! I make a living from lots of people supporting me with small amounts, and that thought makes me happy.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first three panels are colored in sepia tones, to resemble old photographs. They show two white men, dressed in upper-class Victorian suits, chatting on the street. One man has huge sideburns and a bowler hat; the other has glasses, handlebar mustaches, and a shiny black top hat.

PANEL 1

Bowler Hat has a huge grin as he lifts a hand, eagerly getting Top Hat’s attention. Top Hat cheerfully pays attention, leaning forward and steepling his fingers.  (The expression “I’m all ears,” by the way, goes back to the 1700s.)

BOWLER HAT: I’ve got a plan to stop negros from voting!

TOP HAT: Swell! I’m all ears!

PANEL 2

A close-up of Bowler Hat as he explains, his grin huge, his hands waving in the air a bit.

BOWLER HAT: We’ll make up new laws for voting which we’ll pretend are “protecting the vote,” but actually will make it harder for negros to vote. Like “literacy tests” and “grandfather clauses.”

PANEL 3

A longer shot of the two of them. Bowler Hat puts a hand on his chin and looks concerned, while Top Hat, also with a worried expression, speaks and shrugs.

TOP HAT: I have doubts… Perhaps this plan could work for a year or two. But could a plan so obviously dishonest last decades? Or even a century?

PANEL 4

A change of scene – and of coloring. Instead of being colored like old photography, this panel has bright, modern colors. Two well-off looking middle-aged white men are in a nice office (rug on floor, large window with curtains open showing trees outside, framed photos on the wall, an American flag on a pole in one corner) talking cheerfully. One man, wearing a modern suit and tie, is holding out a red folder to the other man. The other man is wearing a judge’s black robes and giving a thumb’s up.

SENATOR: Our new laws are definitely about protecting the vote, and it’s just a wacky coincidence that they all make it harder for Black people to vote!

JUDGE: I believe you!


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Elections, History, Racism & Racists |

Founding Father Wisdom, Featuring Thomas Jefferson

Cartoon by leftycartoons


If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon


This cartoon is drawn by the awesome Leah S. Metters! Leah describes herself as “an illustrator and visual development artist working hard to create amazing books and comics so she can take over the world, one smile at a time.”


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two children, a boy with huge glasses and a backpack, and a girl with her hair in a puff pony and wearing a colorful striped shirt, are in a park full of lush greenery. They’ve stopped by a wooden park bench; seated on the bench, wearing an early-1800s style suit and a peruke (which is what the white wigs most founding fathers wore were called), is the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. We know he’s a ghost because he’s a glowing pale blue color, he’s a little transparent, and he sort of twirls out of existence below the waist rather than having legs.

The boy and girl look enthusiastic; Jefferson seems quietly flattered.

BOY: It’s the ghost of Thomas Jefferson!

GIRL: The founding fathers were moral and intellectual giants! Share your wisdom with us, President Jefferson?

JEFFERSON: Very well.

PANEL 2

A close-up of Jefferson. He looks a little wide-eyed and intense, and his gesturing with his hands to emphasize his points.

JEFFERSON: To get rich, run a nail factory, and whip workers who make less than 5,000 nails a day. Children too!

JEFFERSON: And as I told my friends, invest every dollar you have in slaves!

PANEL 3

Another one-shot of Jefferson. He’s now looking more thoughtful, smiling a little with a finger pressed against his chin.

JEFFERSON: Orangutans are more attracted to black women than to other orangutans. That’s just science!

JEFFERSON: Let’s see, what other founder wisdom can I share?

PANEL 4

A shot of the three of them. The two kids look pissed; Jefferson concedes cheerfully.

GIRL: Actually, we’ve changed our minds about caring what you thought.

JEFFERSON: Solid choice! I was a slave-owning rapist asshat.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, History, Racism & Racists |

Teach MLK Not CRT

Cartoon by Barry


I make a living drawing cartoons because of lots of people pledging small amounts to my Patreon. $1 or $2 helps a lot!


Sadly, I had to cut all the MLK quotes way down to fit this tiny four-panel format. At the end of this post you’ll find more complete quotes, with links to sources.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.

The cartoon shows two people talking outside what looks like a school building. One of the people is a Black man,  bald on top and chubby and wearing glasses, a shirt and a tie – he looks like he could be a school principal. The other person is a white woman, wearing a sweater-vest and a patterned skirt, with her hair in a pony tail. She’s carrying a protest sign that says “Teach MLK not CRT.”

PANEL 1

Sweatervest holds out a little booklet to Necktie. She looks angry, he looks unsure.

SWEATERVEST: Look at these quotes from your school’s assigned readings! This trash teaches white kids to hate themselves. Martin Luther King would never teach this!

NECKTIE: Okay, let me take a look…

PANEL 2

Necktie bends over the booklet a little, reading aloud. Sweatervest screams in anger.

NECKTIE: “White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism… The White Man’s Police are the ultimate mockery of law… America is a racist country.”

SWEATERVEST: See? See? They’re teaching our kids to hate white people, cops and America!

PANEL 3

A close-up of Sweatervest, her lips drawn back in anger, as Necktie continues reading aloud from off-panel.

NECKTIE: “The roots of racism are very deep in our country…  The doctrine of white supremacy was imbedded in every textbook…  It became a structural part of the culture.”

SWEATERVEST: “Roots of racism!” “Structural racism!” It’s all so hateful! Why not teach what MLK said? “Judge by the content of their character….”

PANEL 4

Looking puzzled, Necktie points to something in the booklet. Angrier than ever, Sweatervest leans forward to yell.

NECKTIE: But these quotes are all from Dr. King.

SWEATERVEST: And I’m sure he feels just sick about that!

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

This small black-and-white panel shows a smiling Sweatervest looking proud, holding a hand on her chest, while Necktie reads another passage aloud from the booklet.

SWEATERVEST: I don’t need to read MLK’s writings! “I had a dream” is all I need to know!

NECKTIE: Here’s another MLK quote: “White people believe that they have so little to learn.”


SOURCES FOR THIS CARTOON

To fit all these quotes into a tiny four panel format, I had to cut them way down, which frankly I feel bad about. Here are the fuller quotes, with links to the sources:

“If the Negro needs social sciences for direction and for self-understanding, the white society is in even more urgent need. White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism and the understanding needs to be carefully documented and consequently more difficult to reject.”

“When we ask Negroes to abide by the law, let us also demand that the white man abide by law in the ghettos. Day-in and day-out he violates welfare laws to deprive the poor of their meager allotments; he flagrantly violates building codes and regulations; his police make a mockery of law; and he violates laws on equal employment and education and the provisions for civic services. The slums are the handiwork of a vicious system of the white society; Negroes live in them but do not make them any more than a prisoner makes a prison. Let us say boldly that if the violations of law by the white man in the slums over the years were calculated and compared with the law-breaking of a few days of riots, the hardened criminal would be the white man.”

–Martin Luther King Jr., in his speech “The Role of the Behavioral Scientist in the Civil Rights Movement

“However difficult it is to hear, however shocking it is to hear, we’ve got to face the fact that America is a racist country. W e have got to face the fact that racism still occupies the throne of our nation. I don’t think we will ultimately solve the problem of racial injustice until this is recognized, and until this is worked on.”

Live Q&A with Martin Luther King Jr. at the sixty-eighth annual convention of the Rabbinical Assembly, March 25, 1968.

“It lies in the ‘congenital deformity’ of racism that has crippled the nation from its inception. The roots of racism are very deep in America. Historically it was so acceptable in the national life that today it still only lightly burdens the conscience. No one surveying the moral landscape of our can overlook the hideous and pathetic wreckage of commitment twisted and turned to a thousand shapes under the stress of prejudice and irrationality.”

“Soon the doctrine of white supremacy was imbedded in every textbook and preached in practically every pulpit. It became a structural part of the culture. And men then embraced this philosophy, not as the rationalization of a lie, but as the expression of a final truth.”

“Whites, it must frankly be said, are not putting in a similar mass effort to reeducate themselves out of their racial ignorance. It is an aspect of their sense of superiority that the white people of America believe they have so little to learn. The reality of substantial investment to assist Negroes into the twentieth century, adjusting to Negro neighbors and genuine school integration, is still a nightmare for all too many white Americans.”

–Martin Luther King Jr., in his book Where Do We Go From Here

And finally, a “Teach MLK Not CRT” sign was reported by Learner Liu in the far-right newspaper Epoch Times,  and then quoted by social justice activist Arnie Alpert at InDepthNH.org.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, History, Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

Destroying Sculptures Is Erasing History!

Cartoon by Barry


Please support the making of these cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Supporters got to see this cartoon back in April.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Two people, a woman wearing a hair band and a man with a mustache and a checkered shirt, are talking in some sort of sculpture gallery with arched doorways. All of the sculptures we see are “busts” – that is, sculptures of just the head and shoulders of various people, on pedestals. In panel one, we can make out sculptures of Lincoln and Washington.

PANEL 1

Headband and Checkered are talking angrily at each other. But they’re not angry at each other – they’re sharing their mutual anger at things happening in the world.

HAIRBAND: Removing “racist” statues is terrible. We shouldn’t forget the past!

CHECKERED: Exactly!

PANEL 2

The man in the checkered shirt waves his arms as he makes a point. His hand bumps a bust of George Washington, knocking it over.

CHECKERED: They’re not just removing statues – they’re erasing history!

PANEL 3

The two of them both flinch away from the statue as it crashes to the floor. We can see little  shattered pieces of the statue, including a nose and mouth, bouncing up from the floor. The checkered shirt man looks especially distressed, holding his hands to either side of his face.

CHECKERED: Oh no! The bust of George Washington!

PANEL 4

The two of them are looking down at the floor – presumably at the shattered remains of the statue – and looking puzzled.

HAIRBAND: George who?

CHECKERED: Um… I don’t know.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in History, Racism & Racists |

One Day At The Critical Race Theory Menace Convention

Cartoon by Barry


If you like this cartoon, help me make more by supporting my Patreon. Thanks!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first three panels show a podium, on a stage, with a light purple curtain behind it. A sign on the podium says “The Critical Race Theory MENACE Conference.”

PANEL 1

A white man with a tidy beard and mustache and nice hair, wearing a collared shirt and a striped necktie, is standing behind the podium, yelling.

NECKTIE: Critical Race Theory is how the Marxist left brainwashes our children!

NECKTIE: Critical Race Theory is the new face of Jim Crow!

PANEL 2

Now smiling pleasantly, Necktie man takes a step back from the podium, waving to a bald white man wearing glasses, a suit jacket, and a wine-red turtleneck. Turtleneck man is also smiling pleasantly as he walks to the podium.

NECKTIE: Thank you very much. Our next speaker is columnist Richard Thomas, here to tell us more about Critical Race Theory. Welcome, Richard.

TURTLENECK: Thank you.

PANEL 3

Turtleneck man is now standing behind the podium, yelling and waving his arms wide.

TURTLENECK: Critical Race Theory is a plague! A pestilence!

TURTLENECK: Critical Race Theory is the boil on America’s butt and it must be lanced!

PANEL 4

A new scene. We’re now in a coffeeshop, where Necktie Man and Turtleneck man, talking sedately, are sitting at a small round table with coffee cups in front of them. Turtleneck man also has a muffin. Necktie is rubbing the back of his head with one hand, looking puzzled, and Turtleneck man is shrugging.

NECKTIE: So, um… What is critical race theory?

TURTLENECK: I dunno. Some academic thing?


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

White People (But With Subtitles)

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! (Patrons got to see this cartoon over two months ago!)


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a 3×3 grid. The central panel has no images other than large title lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

Each of the other panels has an image of a single white person talking directly to the reader. All of the panels have yellow printed subtitles, “translating” what the person is saying.

PANEL 1

A cheerful looking white man stands in front of flowering bushes. He’s holding out one hand towards us, shaking it in a “no no no” gesture. He’s wearing a tee-shirt that says “Close The Border” with an illustration of the border wall (although the illustration is kind of unclear and I suspect a lot of readers won’t get that, but that’s okay).

MAN: It’s not about race!

SUBTITLE: It’s completely about race.

PANEL 2

A light-haired white woman leans casually against a stone wall as she talks to the reader, smiling.

WOMAN: Of course I have Black friends!

SUBTITLE: I ask my Black doorman about his kids if I’m not in a hurry.

PANEL 3

A white man with glasses, a mustache, and a necktie sits at a desk, a laptop open in front of him. He has one hand raised, palm up, in a sort of half-a-shrug gesture.

MAN: They’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

SUBTITLE: I’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

PANEL 4

A white woman stands on a city street; we can see bits of two buildings, and an alleyway, behind her. She has glasses and her red hair is in a bun. She’s smiling, and holding one hand to her chest (just below her collarbone) in a somewhat surprised manner.

WOMAN: You’re so articulate!!!

SUBTITLE: I’m surprised that Latinos are intelligent.

PANEL 5

This panel has nothing but large lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

PANEL 6

A white man with a van dyke beard and a full-of-himself expression is at some sort of party (we can see a few other partiers in silhouette in the background) and holding a wine glass.

MAN: I’m one-twentieth Indian myself, so I know all about reservations.

SUBTITLE: Your culture, my party chatter.

PANEL 7

A white woman with a checkered shirt is behind the wheel of a car, speaking out the window to us with a somewhat grumpy expression.

WOMAN: I’m not against assistance to hardworking families.

SUBTITLE: I’m against assistance to brown families.

PANEL 8

A redheaded white man clasping his hands in front of him and standing on a grassy hillside smiles wide and speaks directly to the viewer. His tee shirt has a manga drawing of a pretty woman.

MAN: Asian women are so beautiful and quiet!

SUBTITLE: Let me tell you what kind of porn I enjoy.

PANEL 9

A light-haired white woman holding a book (possibly a bible) open, as if she was just reading it, speaks to us. She has a pleasant smile, and is standing in front of a small but nice church building, which features a bell tower with a large clock on it.

WOMAN: Judeo Christian values built this country!

SUBTITLE: If I put “Judeo” at the start of sentences, I sound less like a Christian theocrat.


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists |