Somewhere South of the Broder Inside MAGA Brains

Cartoon by Barry

If you want to help us keep making cartoons, you should construct a time machine, become politically important in mid 1960s New York, and then before my birth in October 1968 lead the National Guard to attack the secret alien base in Long Island where their ADHD beam is located. Do not destroy the beam, because destroying it will cause an explosion of ADHD rays that will cover the entire earth and then no one anywhere will ever get anything done on time. Instead, sink it into the deepest part of the Pacific Ocean, because the secret giant squids are already ADHD and the rays can’t harm them. Also, while you’re at it, go into the near future from 2022 and write down some lottery numbers for me, thanks really appreciated we should do lunch.

Also, you can buy the book collections. Makes an acceptable Christmas gift, maybe!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “SOMEWHERE SOUTH OF THE BORDER.”

Two cheerful-looking people are standing outside and talking. One is a woman with dark hair drawn back into a ponytail, glasses, and a polka-dot skirt; let’s call her GLASSES. She’d holding out a smartphone.

The other person is a man with a mustache and a broad-brimmed straw hat, smoking a cigar. He also has dark hair, but his is a little reddish. Let’s call him CIGAR.

GLASSES: Joe my friend who’s a Democrat in the USA just called and invited us to sneak over the border! He says it’s easy!

CIGAR: We’ve got no pressing need to leave, but let’s go anyway!

PANEL 2

Glasses and Cigar are now at the US border, which we know is the US border because there’s a signpost that says “USA” with an arrow pointing. A grinning man with short-cropped blonde hair, waring a border patrol uniform and sunglasses, is running towards them with helium balloons.

A huge sign is hanging over everyone, which says “WELCOME IMMIGRANTS” in huge letters (the “i” is dotted with a heart), and in smaller letters below that says “Don’t Forget To Vote!”

GLASSES: Wow. We can just walk right in!

CIGAR: Look at that huge welcome sign!

BORDER PATROL DUDE: Welcome to Texas!

PANEL 3

Apparently some time has passed, because Glasses and Cigar are now in different outfits. Cigar is relaxing in a reclining chair next to a swimming pool; Glasses is walking up to Cigar and proudly pointing a thumb at herself. (Glasses is now pregnant.)

GLASSES: I just stole a job from a decent hard-working American!

CIGAR: I’m not even working! The government is just giving me welfare cash! Ha ha!

PANEL 4

The border between panels 3 and 4 is a thought balloon, leading to the head of a character in panel 4 (indicating that the entirety of the first three panels were in his imagination).

We’re now looking at two entirely different characters. Both are white. One, wearing a red MAGA cap, is punching his fist into his palm and looks angry. The other, wearing a necktie and button-down shirt, is rearing his head back and yelling as he shakes a hand at the sky.

MAGA DUDE: I’m sure that’s how it happens!

NECKTIE (very loudly): DAMN YOU LIBERALS!!

Somewhere South of the Border Inside MAGA Brains | Barry Deutsch on Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Immigration, Racism & Racists |

“Scientific” Racism

Cartoon by Barry

If you blah blah blah money blah blah blah support blah blah link.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon. The first five panels all show the same person, a white man wearing a light yellow polo shirt; he has glasses and a “van dyke” beard and mustache.  He’s standing in front of a blank background.

PANEL 1

The man seems to speak directly to the reader, looking annoyed, holding up a forefinger in a “let me just make this one point” gesture.

WHITE MAN : It’s not fair to say I’m racist just because I’m being scientific!

PANEL 2

The man looks a bit hurt and shrugs.

WHITE MAN: Just because I say certain races (like mine) are inherently more intelligent than certain other races (like Blacks)…

PANEL 3

Now he looks thoughtful, looking up into the air and placing a hand over his chin.

WHITE MAN: And just because I say high I.Q. people deserve all the best jobs and we should pay them (us) more and let them run everything…

PANEL 4

He folds his arms and looks, frankly, quite snotty.

WHITE MAN: And just because I ignore when “scientists” say society’s racial categories don’t really correspond to actual human genetic groupings…

PANEL 5

The “camera” has rotated around the man, but he hasn’t turned to remain facing towards us. Instead, he now seems to be speaking to someone off-panel. He’s looking worried and is holding the fingertips of a hand to his chest, indicating himself.

WHITE MAN: Just because of all of that, is it fair to call me a racist?

PANEL 6

The “camera” has zoomed out, and we can now see that he’s talking to three people. All three people are people of color (in my interpretation, two are African-American and one is Indian-American). All three are looking annoyed as they speak. The white man is angry and frustrated as he yells at them.

Instead of a blank background, we can now see that all four characters are standing on a city sidewalk, with closely-packed houses and a utility pole in the background.

TALL BLACK MAN WEARING A TIE: Yes.

SHORT BLACK WOMAN WITH A STRIPED SHIRT AND A GREEEN SKIRT: Definitely fair.

INDIAN WOMAN WITH GLASSES AND A SHORT FASHIONABLY CHOPPY HAIRCUT: Yup yup.

WHITE MAN (yelling): STOP CANCEL CULTURING ME!

TINY “KICKER” PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The short Black woman from panel 6 is talking to the white guy. He looks calm now but still a bit annoyed.

SHORT WOMAN: So who do you think it’s fair to call racist?

WHITE MAN: The guy who made this cartoon.

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Racism & Racists |

Equal Opportunity, Not Equal Outcomes

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, you’ll probably also like sticking your toes into a mud bank and wiggling them until the neon worms come to nestle between your toes. If you can manage to stay like that for 30 hours straight despite the exhaustion and increasing pain from not moving (lifehack: bring a pillow to sit on), you’ll gain the power to walk across water. The downside is, you’ll leave glowing neon footprints everywhere you go, making it easy for the secretive government agency to track you down and throw you into their secret facility for studying people with powers. And the worst part is, the smooth-faced people in low-end businesswear who run that agency don’t like cartoons at all. So to pre-emptively get revenge on them, remember to subscribe to my patreon before they lock you up. (And say hi to the neon worms from me!)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two people walking on a path on a hillside as they talk. The person walking in front is a Black man, with a mustache and beard, wearing a t shirt with a sort of smiley face on it, except the face has a neutral expression rather than a smile. The second person is a white man with black hair in a tidy haircut, and a plaid sweater-vest over a collared shirt. For purposes of this transcript, I’m calling these two characters TSHIRT and VEST.

PANEL 1

Vest is speaking seriously as he talks to Tshirt. Tshirt is very enthused about what he’s hearing, smiling big and spreading his arms expansively.

VEST: It’s stupid to expect equal outcomes, because not everyone is equal. Some people are just born with less ability than others. What we need is equal opportunity.

TSHIRT:  “Equal opportunity” sounds great!

PANEL 2

A close-up of Tshirt and he turns to look at Vest, enthusiastically smiling as he holds up a finger while making a point.

TSHIRT: Let’s start with a massive inheritance tax. Nothing‘s a more unequal opportunity than some people being born with millions while others start with nothing.

PANEL 3

A longer shot shows more of the environment; we can see plants with long leaves in the foreground, and trees in both the foreground and background. Tshirt, still very enthused, slaps a fist into a palm as he anticipates what might be done.  Vest looks panicked, holding up his palms in a “whoa there!” gesture, eyes wide.

TSHIRT: We can use that money to make other opportunities equal. Like free college! And free health care for all! And—

VEST: STOP!  I didn’t mean any of that stuff! I just mean Black people are less intelligent so we shouldn’t try to fix race inequality!

PANEL 4

Tshirt, looking calm but also angry, has turned to face Vest, with his hands on his hips. Vest has turned away from Tshirt, arms crossed, nose held high in a snooty expression.

TSHIRT: Oh, so you’re just a complete fucking racist.

VEST: Intolerant reactions like that are exactly why I prefer to say “equal opportunity.”

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Economic cartoons, Racism & Racists |

There’s Never Been a Worse Time for Free Speech!

Cartoon by Barry

Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins!

If you like these cartoons, you can help make more happen by moving to Portland, Oregon, and specifically into the shed next to my house, and every morning wake up and break into my house and stand over me saying “write! write! draw! draw you scum draw!” over and over, for hours, until I break, and don’t forget to support the Patreon.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels. Each panel shows a different scene from a different era, with the first panel set in the 1890s, and each subsequent panel set in a later time period, until the final panel which is set in the present day.

PANEL 1

A bright summer day in the 1890s. In the foreground, a Black woman is watching three white men with an aggrieved posture. She’s wearing a blue dress. In the background, a uniformed police officer is talking to two other white men, one in a brown three-piece suit with matching bowler hat, while the other man looks more working-class with a white button-up shirt, no necktie, and suspenders.

Behind the men, we can see the still-smoking ruin of what was once a building.

MAN IN SUIT: We only burned down Ida Wells’ newspaper because she wrote against lynching.

COP: That seems reasonable.

PANEL 2

In the background, we can see a group of suffragettes in 1910s dresses and hats, crowded together and looking calm but nervous.  A couple of them are wearing sashes that read “votes for women.” Most of the suffragettes we see are white, but one is Black and another is Asian. The Asian woman is wearing a traditional Japanese kimono and hairstyle (modeled on Komako Kimura’s outfit and hair photographed at a 1917 suffragette march).

In the foreground, with their backs to us (so facing the women), a couple of cops are talking. One of them is slapping a palm with a billy club.

COP 1: These suffragettes were picketing the White House.

COP 2: Let the beatings begin!

PANEL 3

A wealthy looking couple, dressed in 1920s fashion (her in a blue hat with a red ribbon with flower decoration, and a matching blue jacket with puffy off-white cuffs and neck; him in an off-white suit, a straw boater with a red ribbon, blue necktie and red vest) are looking at the building across the street with some distress.

The building across the street has a sign saying “Apollo Theatre” over a revolving door entrance. A big theatre marquee over the entrances tells us that “The God of Vengeance” is playing, although the words are partly blocked by a word balloon. Another nearby sign says “Times Sq.”

WOMAN: A play with Jewish lesbians kissing?

MAN: Let’s call the police!

PANEL 4

An Asian man sits in a chair, holding up a sheet of paper. So many long horizontal strips have been sliced out of the paper that it’s made as much of holes as it is of paper. He’s wearing a collared blue shirt.

Behind him, an Asian woman leans forward to look over his shoulder. She’s wearing a red skirt and buttoned-up blouse, with a blue sweater over it. The hairstyle and clothing suggest the 1940s.

WOMAN: What’s that?

MAN: Letter from my friend Takashi in the internment camp.

PANEL 5

This panel shows two cops, a postman, and a woman in a dress. In the background, we can see a small but well-kept looking yellow house, with a tree in front and a planter under the front window.

One of the cops is putting the woman into the back seat of a police car. Judging from the woman’s hairstyle and pink, high-collared dress, this is the 1960s.

In the foreground, the postman is talking to the other cop, while pointing backwards with his thumb towards the woman. The cop is taking notes.

POSTMAN: We opened Virginia Prince’s mail and found lesbian love letters and something called “Transvestia Magazine”!

PANEL 6

We are looking at a TV set, on a table. Judging from the make of the TV and the style of the tablecloth under the TV, this is the 1970s.

On the TV a dignified-looking Black man, with white hair styled to be high on top of his head, black round glasses, and wearing a suit and tie, is speaking. (The man is Bayard Rustin.)

RUSTIN: I was arrested in the 1940s for being anti-war… In the 50s for being gay… And in the 60s for protesting Jim Crow.

PANEL 7

A current-day TV studio. Cameras and lights point at two people sitting at a table, one a middle-aged man wearing a gray suit with a blue tie, the other a younger-looking woman with black hair, glasses, and a blue short-sleeved dress. The man is spreading his arms out in an annoyed fashion while speaking, and the woman is pounding a fist on the table in front of her.  “Clap clap clap” sound effects on the bottom right of the panel indicate that the unseen audience is clapping for what the woman is saying.

MAN: Nowadays straight white men can’t say anything without being criticized!

WOMAN: There’s never been a worse time for freedom of speech!

SFX: Clap clap clap clap

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

You Can’t Call Me a Homophobe if I’m Not Afraid

Cartoon by Barry

Another collab with Becky Hawkins!

If you like these cartoons, then you’re an exceptionally refined person and people all over the world are clamoring to know you to such an extent that it’s actually become difficult for you to go out in public unless you wear like, a slouch hat and big sunglasses, but that just makes you look like a spy and other spies come up to you and try to exchange briefcases and it’s just awkward and also support the patreon.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a white man speaking directly to the reader; he has curly orange-ish hair and is wearing a loud Hawaiian shirt,

PANEL 1

MAN: Here’s a newsflash for you stupid lefties! Sometimes words aren’t literally true!

PANEL 2

The man smirks big and makes air quotes with his fingers.

MAN: Like when you call me a “homophobe” or “transphobe” just because I want those people fired from schools!

MAN: Idiot lefties! “Phobia” means “fear” but I’m not literally afraid! lol lol lol!

PANEL 3

He holds up a forefinger to emphasize his point. He’s grinning big.

MAN: You called me “white supremacist” when I said Blacks are genetically stupid…

MAN: But I think Asians are better at math than whites! So I don’t think whites are “supreme.” lolol!

PANEL 4

The man leans closer to the camera, widening his eyes and pursing his lips in a “oooh spooky” expression, while making the “mind blown” gesture with his hands on each side of his head.

MAN: The “big apple” is not a fruit! “Boxing rings” are square! “Hot dogs” aren’t dogs!

MAN: Aren’t you amazed at how clever I am? Is your mind blooown?

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

Nobody Back Then Knew Slavery Was Wrong!

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting my Patreon! Or by casting helpful spells!

This cartoon is, of course, drawn by Becky Hawkins, who did her usual wonderful job.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels; each panel shows a different scene with different characters.

PANEL 1

A caption at the top of the panel says “1710.”

A Black woman sits on the front steps of a ramshackle wooden house; a small boy is sitting next to her on the steps, and she’s bandaging an injury on his hand. She’s wearing a yellow kerchief wrapped around her hair and tied in back, and speaking to the viewer with an earnest expression.

Standing next to her is another Black woman, speaking a bit angrily to the viewer, with her fists on her hips. She’s wearing a red kerchief over her hair, tied on top, and a yellow dress with an apron.

Both of the dresses are modest and plain, and look old-fashioned by today’s standards.

RED KERCHIEF: Slavery is crushing our lives, our children’s lives…

YELLOW KERCHIEF: It’s simply evil!

PANEL 2

A caption at the top of the panel says “1776.”

The panel shows Thomas Jefferson and George Washington standing in Independence Hall, dressed in revolutionary-era men’s finery. Jefferson is smirking while leaning back against a table, and Washington is speaking more seriously, spreading his arms to make his point.

JEFFERSON: Even we know slavery is a horror!

WASHINGTON: And we’re super racist slaveowners!

PANEL 3

A caption at the top of the panel says “1859.”

Frederick Douglass, wearing a fine looking suit, and John Brown, wearing a rougher looking outfit and carrying a rifle, are standing in a clearing in a wooded area, talking to the viewer. Douglass has a serious expression; with one hand he’s covering his mouth, as if to keep Brown from hearing what he says, and with his other hand he’s pointing to Brown with a thumb. Brown is grinning and pumping a fist into the air.

BROWN: I hate slavery! So I’m gonna capture an armory and start a huge slave rebellion!

DOUGLASS: I’d do anything to end slavery. Except his stupid plan, because it won’t work and he’ll definitely be killed.

BROWN: Worth it!

PANEL 4

A caption at the top of the panel says “TODAY.”

A man with a shaved head and a scruffy beard is speaking to a smartphone mounted on a tripod. The tripod is also holding a ring light. There’s a blue sheet behind the man providing a background – what I’m saying is, this guy is a podcaster. He has an orange t shirt with an image of a hand with a raised middle finger and the caption “Cancel This.” The podcaster is holding one hand palm up, and pointing up with his other hand, as if to make a point.

SCRUFFY: It’s unfair to judge slave owners by today’s standards! Nobody back then knew slavery was wrong!

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |

The Purple People Next Door

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Kevin Moore.

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon! Each $2 pledge really helps us keep making new cartoons.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show the same scene: A suburban-looking back yard, surrounded by a chest-high wooden fence. On one side of the fence is a dad-looking white man, wearing a short-sleeved polo shirt (blue with yellow stripes) and brown shorts.

On the other side of the fence are a woman and a man, both of whom have vividly purple skin. His skin is somewhat lighter in color, and he’s completely bald (I joked to Kevin, when I saw his sketches, that Mr. Purple probably shaves his head so people won’t know he’s going gray). He’s wearing an orange t-shirt. Mrs Purple has neatly styled neck-length purple-black hair, and is wearing a reddish orange t-shirt with a squared-off collar. Throughout this cartoon, Mr. and Mrs. Purple have big, cheerful smiles.

PANEL ONE

Polo Shirt Guy is talking on his cell phone, looking quite cheerful, as he flips a burger on his barbeque. We can see some toys and a sandbox on the ground nearby. Behind him, Mr and Mrs Purple have walked up to the fence and are talking to him, but he doesn’t see them yet.

POLO SHIRT: It’s like I always say… I don’t care if someone’s Black, white or even purple. Doesn’t matter to me!

THE PURPLES (speaking in unison): We’re so glad to hear you say that.

PANEL TWO 

Polo Shirt Guy has turned his head and seen the Purples, and he’s taken aback. Both Mr and Mrs Purple are waving their hands at Polo Shirt.

POLO SHIRT: What? Who? What? I mean… What?

MR PURPLE: We’re Sally and Drew Purple. We just moved in next door!

PANEL THREE

Polo Shirt Guy has turned to face the Purples; he’s sweating and looks utterly distresed, even though he’s trying to be polite. He waves back at them, not noticing that he’s dropped his cell phone. Behind him in the background, we can see a tree with a tire swing, and a pink tricycle.

We’re looking at the scene from behind Mr and Mrs Purple, and can’t see Mrs Purple’s expression. Mr Purple is still smiling big and seems completely unaware of Polo Shirt’s distress.

POLO SHIRT: Oh. I see. Uh… Welcome to the neighborhood.

MR PURPLE: Hey, I see you have kids! Us too – we should schedule a playdate!

PANEL FOUR

Polo Shirt turns partly away from the Purples, his fists pressed against his chin and lower lip, his eyes huge, sweat flying. He looks even more distressed than in panel 3 as he babbles.

The Purples still give no sign of showing distress, although Mr Purple looks perhaps suspiciously amused. Mrs Purple grins as she talks.

POLO SHIRT: Oh! Uh, I don’t know… Scheduling and you know, um…

MRS PURPLE: Wouldn’t it be a hoot if our kids grew up and married each other?

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Kevin Moore collaborations, Racism & Racists |

Racist Bones

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy my cartoons, you could help me make more by supporting my Patreon! Lots of people making $1 and $2 pledges is how I make my living.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first three panels show three bones talking in a blank space. The three bones – a rib bone, a thigh bone, and a hip bone – are anthropomorphized, with cartoon faces, arms and legs.  They’re wearing white gloves with rolls at the wrist, like Mickey Mouse.

The fourth panel shows two human beings talking in a park.

PANEL 1

Rib Bone is talking to Thigh Bone and Hip Bone. Hip Bone, in particular, looks concerned.

RIB BONE: Thigh bone and hip bone! How’s it going?

THIGH BONE: Not good, Rib.

HIP BONE: We’ve been trying everything to get into this guy named Sam…

PANEL 2

In a closer shot, Thigh Bone leans back, laughing, and Hip Bone, still looking concerned, shrugs.

THIGH BONE: First Sam did a hilarious fake Asian accent! I love funny Asian accents, so I thought, “I’m in!”

HIP BONE: But then Sam said he was just joking, and as we all know, saying it’s a joke means it can’t be racist.

PANEL 3

A shot of the three bones. Rib Bone listens with a neutral expression and gosh darn it I just now realized, looking at the cartoon as I type the transcript, that I drew a mustache on Rib Bone in panel 1, but forgot the mustache in panel 3. Hold on, I’ll be back in a few minutes.

I’m back. Rib Bone, sporting a thick, luscious mustache, has a neutral expression as oh geez I just noticed I forgot to draw Rib Bone’s arm. Wait here, I’ll be right back.

Okay! Rib Bone, a character with both a mustache and arms, listens with a neutral expression. Thigh Bone steeples their fingers and is smiling in anticipation, and Hip Bone is grinning hugely.

THIGH BONE: Then Sam talked about how bad white men have it and how much easier it is for Blacks to find jobs.

HIP BONE: Exactly what I think! I thought for sure I was in! But then he said…

PANEL 4

Two men stand talking in a park. The first man — Sam — is white, blonde, wearing a  button-up tan shirt, brown slacks, and a nice-looking pair of sneakers. He is yelling and waving his arms, obviously angry. The other man has brown skin, black hair, and a van dyke beard. He’s wearing an orange tee with a “!” design, and is rolling his eyes.

SAM: I DON’T HAVE A RACIST BONE IN MY BODY!

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Racism & Racists |

An Enduring Plan

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon! I make a living from lots of people supporting me with small amounts, and that thought makes me happy.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first three panels are colored in sepia tones, to resemble old photographs. They show two white men, dressed in upper-class Victorian suits, chatting on the street. One man has huge sideburns and a bowler hat; the other has glasses, handlebar mustaches, and a shiny black top hat.

PANEL 1

Bowler Hat has a huge grin as he lifts a hand, eagerly getting Top Hat’s attention. Top Hat cheerfully pays attention, leaning forward and steepling his fingers.  (The expression “I’m all ears,” by the way, goes back to the 1700s.)

BOWLER HAT: I’ve got a plan to stop negros from voting!

TOP HAT: Swell! I’m all ears!

PANEL 2

A close-up of Bowler Hat as he explains, his grin huge, his hands waving in the air a bit.

BOWLER HAT: We’ll make up new laws for voting which we’ll pretend are “protecting the vote,” but actually will make it harder for negros to vote. Like “literacy tests” and “grandfather clauses.”

PANEL 3

A longer shot of the two of them. Bowler Hat puts a hand on his chin and looks concerned, while Top Hat, also with a worried expression, speaks and shrugs.

TOP HAT: I have doubts… Perhaps this plan could work for a year or two. But could a plan so obviously dishonest last decades? Or even a century?

PANEL 4

A change of scene – and of coloring. Instead of being colored like old photography, this panel has bright, modern colors. Two well-off looking middle-aged white men are in a nice office (rug on floor, large window with curtains open showing trees outside, framed photos on the wall, an American flag on a pole in one corner) talking cheerfully. One man, wearing a modern suit and tie, is holding out a red folder to the other man. The other man is wearing a judge’s black robes and giving a thumb’s up.

SENATOR: Our new laws are definitely about protecting the vote, and it’s just a wacky coincidence that they all make it harder for Black people to vote!

JUDGE: I believe you!

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Elections, Racism & Racists |

Founding Father Wisdom, Featuring Thomas Jefferson

Cartoon by leftycartoons

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon

This cartoon is drawn by the awesome Leah S. Metters! Leah describes herself as “an illustrator and visual development artist working hard to create amazing books and comics so she can take over the world, one smile at a time.”

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two children, a boy with huge glasses and a backpack, and a girl with her hair in a puff pony and wearing a colorful striped shirt, are in a park full of lush greenery. They’ve stopped by a wooden park bench; seated on the bench, wearing an early-1800s style suit and a peruke (which is what the white wigs most founding fathers wore were called), is the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. We know he’s a ghost because he’s a glowing pale blue color, he’s a little transparent, and he sort of twirls out of existence below the waist rather than having legs.

The boy and girl look enthusiastic; Jefferson seems quietly flattered.

BOY: It’s the ghost of Thomas Jefferson!

GIRL: The founding fathers were moral and intellectual giants! Share your wisdom with us, President Jefferson?

JEFFERSON: Very well.

PANEL 2

A close-up of Jefferson. He looks a little wide-eyed and intense, and his gesturing with his hands to emphasize his points.

JEFFERSON: To get rich, run a nail factory, and whip workers who make less than 5,000 nails a day. Children too!

JEFFERSON: And as I told my friends, invest every dollar you have in slaves!

PANEL 3

Another one-shot of Jefferson. He’s now looking more thoughtful, smiling a little with a finger pressed against his chin.

JEFFERSON: Orangutans are more attracted to black women than to other orangutans. That’s just science!

JEFFERSON: Let’s see, what other founder wisdom can I share?

PANEL 4

A shot of the three of them. The two kids look pissed; Jefferson concedes cheerfully.

GIRL: Actually, we’ve changed our minds about caring what you thought.

JEFFERSON: Solid choice! I was a slave-owning rapist asshat.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists |

Teach MLK Not CRT

Cartoon by Barry

I make a living drawing cartoons because of lots of people pledging small amounts to my Patreon. $1 or $2 helps a lot!

Sadly, I had to cut all the MLK quotes way down to fit this tiny four-panel format. At the end of this post you’ll find more complete quotes, with links to sources.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.

The cartoon shows two people talking outside what looks like a school building. One of the people is a Black man,  bald on top and chubby and wearing glasses, a shirt and a tie – he looks like he could be a school principal. The other person is a white woman, wearing a sweater-vest and a patterned skirt, with her hair in a pony tail. She’s carrying a protest sign that says “Teach MLK not CRT.”

PANEL 1

Sweatervest holds out a little booklet to Necktie. She looks angry, he looks unsure.

SWEATERVEST: Look at these quotes from your school’s assigned readings! This trash teaches white kids to hate themselves. Martin Luther King would never teach this!

NECKTIE: Okay, let me take a look…

PANEL 2

Necktie bends over the booklet a little, reading aloud. Sweatervest screams in anger.

NECKTIE: “White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism… The White Man’s Police are the ultimate mockery of law… America is a racist country.”

SWEATERVEST: See? See? They’re teaching our kids to hate white people, cops and America!

PANEL 3

A close-up of Sweatervest, her lips drawn back in anger, as Necktie continues reading aloud from off-panel.

NECKTIE: “The roots of racism are very deep in our country…  The doctrine of white supremacy was imbedded in every textbook…  It became a structural part of the culture.”

SWEATERVEST: “Roots of racism!” “Structural racism!” It’s all so hateful! Why not teach what MLK said? “Judge by the content of their character….”

PANEL 4

Looking puzzled, Necktie points to something in the booklet. Angrier than ever, Sweatervest leans forward to yell.

NECKTIE: But these quotes are all from Dr. King.

SWEATERVEST: And I’m sure he feels just sick about that!

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

This small black-and-white panel shows a smiling Sweatervest looking proud, holding a hand on her chest, while Necktie reads another passage aloud from the booklet.

SWEATERVEST: I don’t need to read MLK’s writings! “I had a dream” is all I need to know!

NECKTIE: Here’s another MLK quote: “White people believe that they have so little to learn.”

SOURCES FOR THIS CARTOON

To fit all these quotes into a tiny four panel format, I had to cut them way down, which frankly I feel bad about. Here are the fuller quotes, with links to the sources:

“If the Negro needs social sciences for direction and for self-understanding, the white society is in even more urgent need. White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism and the understanding needs to be carefully documented and consequently more difficult to reject.”

“When we ask Negroes to abide by the law, let us also demand that the white man abide by law in the ghettos. Day-in and day-out he violates welfare laws to deprive the poor of their meager allotments; he flagrantly violates building codes and regulations; his police make a mockery of law; and he violates laws on equal employment and education and the provisions for civic services. The slums are the handiwork of a vicious system of the white society; Negroes live in them but do not make them any more than a prisoner makes a prison. Let us say boldly that if the violations of law by the white man in the slums over the years were calculated and compared with the law-breaking of a few days of riots, the hardened criminal would be the white man.”

–Martin Luther King Jr., in his speech “The Role of the Behavioral Scientist in the Civil Rights Movement”

“However difficult it is to hear, however shocking it is to hear, we’ve got to face the fact that America is a racist country. W e have got to face the fact that racism still occupies the throne of our nation. I don’t think we will ultimately solve the problem of racial injustice until this is recognized, and until this is worked on.”

—Live Q&A with Martin Luther King Jr. at the sixty-eighth annual convention of the Rabbinical Assembly, March 25, 1968.

“It lies in the ‘congenital deformity’ of racism that has crippled the nation from its inception. The roots of racism are very deep in America. Historically it was so acceptable in the national life that today it still only lightly burdens the conscience. No one surveying the moral landscape of our can overlook the hideous and pathetic wreckage of commitment twisted and turned to a thousand shapes under the stress of prejudice and irrationality.”

“Soon the doctrine of white supremacy was imbedded in every textbook and preached in practically every pulpit. It became a structural part of the culture. And men then embraced this philosophy, not as the rationalization of a lie, but as the expression of a final truth.”

“Whites, it must frankly be said, are not putting in a similar mass effort to reeducate themselves out of their racial ignorance. It is an aspect of their sense of superiority that the white people of America believe they have so little to learn. The reality of substantial investment to assist Negroes into the twentieth century, adjusting to Negro neighbors and genuine school integration, is still a nightmare for all too many white Americans.”

–Martin Luther King Jr., in his book Where Do We Go From Here

And finally, a “Teach MLK Not CRT” sign was reported by Learner Liu in the far-right newspaper Epoch Times,  and then quoted by social justice activist Arnie Alpert at InDepthNH.org.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

Destroying Sculptures Is Erasing History!

Cartoon by Barry

Please support the making of these cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Supporters got to see this cartoon back in April.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Two people, a woman wearing a hair band and a man with a mustache and a checkered shirt, are talking in some sort of sculpture gallery with arched doorways. All of the sculptures we see are “busts” – that is, sculptures of just the head and shoulders of various people, on pedestals. In panel one, we can make out sculptures of Lincoln and Washington.

PANEL 1

Headband and Checkered are talking angrily at each other. But they’re not angry at each other – they’re sharing their mutual anger at things happening in the world.

HAIRBAND: Removing “racist” statues is terrible. We shouldn’t forget the past!

CHECKERED: Exactly!

PANEL 2

The man in the checkered shirt waves his arms as he makes a point. His hand bumps a bust of George Washington, knocking it over.

CHECKERED: They’re not just removing statues – they’re erasing history!

PANEL 3

The two of them both flinch away from the statue as it crashes to the floor. We can see little  shattered pieces of the statue, including a nose and mouth, bouncing up from the floor. The checkered shirt man looks especially distressed, holding his hands to either side of his face.

CHECKERED: Oh no! The bust of George Washington!

PANEL 4

The two of them are looking down at the floor – presumably at the shattered remains of the statue – and looking puzzled.

HAIRBAND: George who?

CHECKERED: Um… I don’t know.

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Racism & Racists |

One Day At The Critical Race Theory Menace Convention

Cartoon by Barry

If you like this cartoon, help me make more by supporting my Patreon. Thanks!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The first three panels show a podium, on a stage, with a light purple curtain behind it. A sign on the podium says “The Critical Race Theory MENACE Conference.”

PANEL 1

A white man with a tidy beard and mustache and nice hair, wearing a collared shirt and a striped necktie, is standing behind the podium, yelling.

NECKTIE: Critical Race Theory is how the Marxist left brainwashes our children!

NECKTIE: Critical Race Theory is the new face of Jim Crow!

PANEL 2

Now smiling pleasantly, Necktie man takes a step back from the podium, waving to a bald white man wearing glasses, a suit jacket, and a wine-red turtleneck. Turtleneck man is also smiling pleasantly as he walks to the podium.

NECKTIE: Thank you very much. Our next speaker is columnist Richard Thomas, here to tell us more about Critical Race Theory. Welcome, Richard.

TURTLENECK: Thank you.

PANEL 3

Turtleneck man is now standing behind the podium, yelling and waving his arms wide.

TURTLENECK: Critical Race Theory is a plague! A pestilence!

TURTLENECK: Critical Race Theory is the boil on America’s butt and it must be lanced!

PANEL 4

A new scene. We’re now in a coffeeshop, where Necktie Man and Turtleneck man, talking sedately, are sitting at a small round table with coffee cups in front of them. Turtleneck man also has a muffin. Necktie is rubbing the back of his head with one hand, looking puzzled, and Turtleneck man is shrugging.

NECKTIE: So, um… What is critical race theory?

TURTLENECK: I dunno. Some academic thing?

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

White People (But With Subtitles)

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! (Patrons got to see this cartoon over two months ago!)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a 3×3 grid. The central panel has no images other than large title lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

Each of the other panels has an image of a single white person talking directly to the reader. All of the panels have yellow printed subtitles, “translating” what the person is saying.

PANEL 1

A cheerful looking white man stands in front of flowering bushes. He’s holding out one hand towards us, shaking it in a “no no no” gesture. He’s wearing a tee-shirt that says “Close The Border” with an illustration of the border wall (although the illustration is kind of unclear and I suspect a lot of readers won’t get that, but that’s okay).

MAN: It’s not about race!

SUBTITLE: It’s completely about race.

PANEL 2

A light-haired white woman leans casually against a stone wall as she talks to the reader, smiling.

WOMAN: Of course I have Black friends!

SUBTITLE: I ask my Black doorman about his kids if I’m not in a hurry.

PANEL 3

A white man with glasses, a mustache, and a necktie sits at a desk, a laptop open in front of him. He has one hand raised, palm up, in a sort of half-a-shrug gesture.

MAN: They’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

SUBTITLE: I’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

PANEL 4

A white woman stands on a city street; we can see bits of two buildings, and an alleyway, behind her. She has glasses and her red hair is in a bun. She’s smiling, and holding one hand to her chest (just below her collarbone) in a somewhat surprised manner.

WOMAN: You’re so articulate!!!

SUBTITLE: I’m surprised that Latinos are intelligent.

PANEL 5

This panel has nothing but large lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

PANEL 6

A white man with a van dyke beard and a full-of-himself expression is at some sort of party (we can see a few other partiers in silhouette in the background) and holding a wine glass.

MAN: I’m one-twentieth Indian myself, so I know all about reservations.

SUBTITLE: Your culture, my party chatter.

PANEL 7

A white woman with a checkered shirt is behind the wheel of a car, speaking out the window to us with a somewhat grumpy expression.

WOMAN: I’m not against assistance to hardworking families.

SUBTITLE: I’m against assistance to brown families.

PANEL 8

A redheaded white man clasping his hands in front of him and standing on a grassy hillside smiles wide and speaks directly to the viewer. His tee shirt has a manga drawing of a pretty woman.

MAN: Asian women are so beautiful and quiet!

SUBTITLE: Let me tell you what kind of porn I enjoy.

PANEL 9

A light-haired white woman holding a book (possibly a bible) open, as if she was just reading it, speaks to us. She has a pleasant smile, and is standing in front of a small but nice church building, which features a bell tower with a large clock on it.

WOMAN: Judeo Christian values built this country!

SUBTITLE: If I put “Judeo” at the start of sentences, I sound less like a Christian theocrat.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists |

Look Who’s Oppressed Now!

Cartoon by Barry

I can do these cartoons because lots of people support me with small donations! Join our cult!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has two panels. Each panel features a variety of people on abstract pillars of various heights – a Black woman, an Asian person in a wheelchair, a Latina woman, a gay male couple, and a couple more in the background who we can’t make out in any detail. On top of the central pillar, wearing a suit, is a prosperous-looking white man in a suit and tie. The well-off white guy’s pillar is significantly taller than any of the others.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “Fifty Years Ago.”

The white man’s pillar is so tall that the top of his head is actually out of the panel. He’s cheerfully/aggressively talking down to all the others, who variously look annoyed at him or are ignoring him.

WHITE MAN: I don’t see what you’re all whining about.

PANEL 2

A large caption at the top of the panel says “Today.”

It’s the same scene, but now the wealthy white man’s pillar is shorter than it was in panel 1 – but still taller than anyone else’s pillar. The white man, now sad-looking, is weeping and screaming. The others look up at him with annoyance, except that one of the gay men is pointing and laughing at him.

WHITE MAN: Look how I’ve fallen! Now I’M the oppressed one!

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

The Triheads vs The Squareheads

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is a collaboration between myself (script and lettering), Becky Hawkins (classroom scenes), and Naomi Rubin (Triheads vs Squareheads scenes).

If you like these cartoons, help me make more (and help me pay my swell collaborators!) by supporting my Patreon. Thanks!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. Each panel shows a schoolteacher reading from an illustrated children’s book; in some panels, we also see images from the book.

PANEL 1

This panel shows a teacher, who is white, reading aloud from a book. Above her, we can see the illustration from the page she’s reading. The illustration shows a bunch of cartoon people, some of whom have triangle-shaped heads, some of whom have rectangular heads. They are smiling and shaking hands and putting arms on each others backs in a companionable manner. In front of them, two children – one with a rectangular head, one with a triangular head – kick a ball around in the grass.

TEACHER: “And when they saw Jumball Trihead and Bigapie Squarehead playing happily together, the grown-ups realized it was silly to hate each other just because they looked different!”

TEACHER: “And that’s how they all stopped being racist!”

TEACHER: Any questions?

PANEL 2

The “camera” zooms out a little, and we can see that there are small children seated on the floor listening to the teacher. One small girl, who is Black, has gotten up and is handing the Teacher a book. The teacher accepts it cheerfully.

IMANI: Miss Martin? My mommy wrote more about the triheads and bigheads. She said it’s a “corrected version.”

TEACHER: Oh, it’s about the same characters! How marvelous! Thank you, Imani.

PANEL 3

The teacher, with a concerned and slightly frightened expression, is reading aloud from the new book. Above her, we see an illustration from the book: A Trihead, speaking straight out to the reader with an angry expression, slams a fist into a palm. Behind him, in silhouette, several Squareheads are trudging along, bowed and weary, chained together chain-gang style.

TEACHER: It says, “The story you’ve heard about the triheads and squareheads is lies. Here’s what really happened.”

TEACHER: “The Triheads kidnapped the Squareheads and enslaved them for hundreds of years.”

TEACHER: “Oh dear.”

PANEL 4

We see the children listening with wide-eyed, somewhat stunned expressions.

Above them, we see an illustration from the book. Two Squareheads lean against a gray wall, as if preparing to be frisked. A Trihead wearing a police or prison guard uniform glares at them. They all seem to be in a barred area. In front of the bars, another Trihead sits at a desk, reading a copy of “The Bell Curve.”

TEACHER: “It took a whole war to free the enslaved squareheads. But even after the war, triheads used laws, violence, and prisons to crush squareheads.”

TEACHER: “This was racism. It was too big and structural to be fixed by Jumball and Bigapie playing together.”

PANEL 5

A close-up of the teacher, who now looks very frightened but keeps on reading aloud. Above her, we see an illustration from the book. A Trihead is lying on the grass, head leaning against a tree, crying a spout of tears from each eye. Next to the Trihead, a standing Squarehead rolls their eyes, arms folded. And next to the Squarehead, a second Trihead is talking to the Squarehead with an accusatory expression, while pointing at the crying Trihead.

TEACHER: “Whenever a Squarehead complained about all the racism, Triheads yelled “How dare you accuse me of racism! Stop imagining things!”

PANEL 6

A shot of the classroom, no illustration. The teacher is turning towards Imani and asking her a question.  The teacher looks worried. Imani, now sitting cross-legged on the floor, replies with an “I don’t know” shrug.

TEACHER: “Another hundred years later…”

TEACHER: Imani, when does this story end?

IMANI: Mommy says we don’t know yet.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Racism & Racists |

Teaching Cops To Be Healers

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is a collaboration with Kevin Moore.

Help me make more of these cartoons (and to pay collaborators like Kevin and Becky!) by supporting my Patreon! Even a $1 or $2 pledge really matters.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. In addition, there’s a tiny fifth “kicker” panel under the comic strip.

PANEL 1

A middle-aged politician-looking dude wearing a suit and tie, and with thick hair neatly parted in the middle, is standing behind a podium with microphones on it. Behind him, we can see a building with a large sign above the entrance saying “City Hall.” Let’s call this guy “Mayor.”

MAYOR: The protesters say the police cannot be reformed – that police culture is beyond saving. That we must abolish and start over.

PANEL 2

A couple of hands are holding a tablet; on the tablet, the mayor, raising a finger and with a very serious expression, continues speaking.

MAYOR: The protestors are wrong! Nothing’s wrong with police culture. We don’t need major reform, just some slight adjustments!

PANEL 3

Another panel showing the mayor at the podium. This is a wider shot, and we can see that the “City Hall” building behind him is just a flat image on a backdrop.  In front of him is a large professional looking video camera, and next to the camera a man with a mustache is grinning and giving the mayor a “thumbs up” signal. The mayor is grinning and pumping one fist victoriously in the air.

MAYOR: For example, the city just purchased new CPR dummies for police to train on. We will show people that police can be heroes and healers!

PANEL 4

We’re in a new location – a large empty room with wood-paneled floors (or vinyl with a wood pattern, more likely), like some gymnasiums have. There are three men here, all wearing blue police tees and shorts. The nearest cop is holding a CPR dummy in a chokehold. Next to him, another cop, wearing a helmet and visor, is raising a nightstick to hit the CPR dummy with. In the background, a third cop is watching and taking notes in a little notepad.

FIRST COP: Okay, let’s train! I’ve got the dummy in a choke hold… Harry, you beat it with your nightstick.

HARRY: Can’t I shoot it instead?

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The third cop from panel 4 – the one who was taking notes – is asking the mayor a question. The mayor looks at the cop with a somewhat distressed expression.

COP: Do CPR dummies come in Black?

Posted in Kevin Moore collaborations, Racism & Racists |

Do We Blame the Chinese or the Jews?

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, help me make more at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.

I wish I could say that I’m making up these conspiracy theories, I really do. But I’m not. I’m really not. The “secret Chinese weapons program” myth was even spread by Senator Tom Cotton.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A shot of a computer monitor on a desk or table of some sort. (I just noticed that I forgot to draw any cables or anything coming from the monitor. Oops!) There’s a coffee mug, with a spoon in it and a smiley face on it, on the table in front of the monitor.

The screen is divided into three windows, each of which shows a different person; in other words, this is a Zoom conversation. The upper left window shows a guy wearing a black tee shirt under an open plaid shirt. The upper right window shows an extreme closeup of a man’s face, shot from below; he’s wearing rectangular glasses. And the bottom window shows a fat man with nice-looking fluffy hair, who is wearing a button-up collared shirt with a necktie.

PLAID is waving his arms with a distressed expression; GLASSES is sneering; and FLUFFY is smiling silently.

PLAID: Coronavirus was caused by Jews! God’s punishing them for rejecting Christ, and it’s spread to the rest of us!

GLASSES: Ridiculous! Everyone knows the virus was created in a secret Chinese weapons lab!

PANEL 2

We’re now looking at Plaid in profile, as he leans forward a bit to yell angrily at his monitor, shaking a forefinger at the monitor. On his monitor, distorted because it’s in perspective, we can barely see Glasses angrily yelling back, and Fluffy smiling as he talks.

PLAID: A secret Chinese weapons lab controlled by Jews!

GLASSES: Chinese!

FLUFFY: Hey, fellas, come on!

PANEL 3

A shot of Fluffy, in an upper-middle-class-looking living room; there’s an armchair, a window with curtains and a potted plant on the windowsill; a coffee mug on a table with an open book beside it. Fluffy is standing and speaking at a tablet in his left hand, still smiling pleasantly. We can now see that he’s not wearing pants, and his boxer shorts have a little hearts pattern.

FLUFFY: A pandemic is no time to be divisive. More than ever, we need to compromise and get along. What do you say, Bob?

PANEL 4

Almost the same shot as panel one, showing the monitor with three windows on it. PLAID has picked up the smiley face coffee mug and is looking more sedate as he talks. Fluffy and Glasses are both agreeing cheerfully.

PLAID: All right… But can the next pandemic be about Jews?

FLUFFY: Absolutely!

GLASSES: I’ll be there with swastikas on!

Posted in COVID-19, Racism & Racists |

Interviewing the Heartland

Cartoon by leftycartoons

Help me make more cartoons like this one by supporting my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.

 

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a small additional “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon. Each of the four panels shows a very simple TV set; two bucket stools facing each other, a decorative potted plant, a wall in the back with a few horizontal stripes for color, and a boom mic. Also in every panel, there’s a TV interviewer – a white man with carefully blow-dried hair and wearing a red tie and blue pinstripe two-piece suit – and Chris, a Black woman dressed in a casual-but-nice fashion, with a red shirt and orange skirt.

PANEL 1

Pinstripe is facing away from Chris, towards an off-panel camera. He is speaking to the camera with a big grin. Behind him, Chris smiles and waves.

PINSTRIPE: I’m here in the real America – the heartland – so I can find out what real Americans are thinking! My first interview is Chris Johnson, of Kansas City.

CHRIS: Hello!

PANEL 2

Pinstripe as turned to face Chris and is taken aback. Chris has put one hand on her chest in a “I’m explaining about myself” gesture, and looks surprised; she is no longer smiling.

PINSTRIPE: Er… Sorry. I came here to interview a heartland person.

CHRIS: I am a heartland person! I was born right here in Missouri!

PANEL 3

Pinstripe makes a dismissive “stop talking” palm-out gesture towards Chris. He has turned away from Chris and is talking to someone off-panel. Chris looks offended, crossing her arms and frowning.

PINSTRIPE: Sorry, you’re not the type we’re looking for. Send in a real heartland interview, already!

PANEL 4

A new character, Aaron, has walked on panel, cheerfully waving. He is wearing jeans and a polo shirt, and a yarmulke (the small round hat worn by observant Jewish men and some observant Jewish women).  Pinstripe, seeing Aaron, reacts with frustration, waving his arms and yelling. Behind Pinstripe, Chris is amused by the situation.

AARON: Shalom! I’m Aaron from Witchita.

PINSTRIPE: OH COME ON!

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

Pinstripe is making demands of a fat man with glasses and tied-back hair (i.e., a self-portrait of Barry, the cartoonist.) Pinstripe looks angry, Barry looks a little bewildered.

PINSTRIPE: Just find me a resentful middle-aged white Christian with a MAGA hat who’s sick of media stereotypes about the heartland

 

Posted in Media criticism, Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

Top Ten Reasons We Won’t Abolish I.C.E.

Cartoon by Barry

Please help me make more cartoons like this one, by supporting my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters to me.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has a big title panel at the top, followed by ten smaller panels.

TITLE PANEL

The title panel has a drawing of a close-up on a chain-link fence. Behind the fence, but still readable, are the words “Top Ten Reasons We Won’t Abolish…” And then, in larger, rougher lettering in front of the fence, the sentence continues: “I.C.E.”

PANEL 1

In the center, a man wearing an I.C.E. uniform – including bulletproof vest and a hard helmet – is smiling and holding an “aw, shucks” kind of pose, with a hand held on one cheek in an embarrassed fashion. Behind him, two other men – one dressed like a right-wing protester looking for a fight, with protective vest and camo pants, and a MAGA hat, and the other wearing a Nazi uniform – early praise him.

MAGA HAT DUDE: Because those I.C.E. uniforms look sharp!

I.C.E. DUDE: Aw, gosh. Thanks, guys!

NAZI: You can’t spell “nice” without I.C.E.!

PANEL 2

A conservatively-dressed (jacket and tie) man, sitting behind a desk, speaks to the viewer, spreading his arms, palms up, in a “let’s not go crazy” sort of gesture.

MAN: “Abolish” is an extreme position, and if we’re extremist in protecting human rights, aren’t we just as bad as the extremists abusing human rights?

PANEL 3

A woman in a striped shirt and a puffy jacket speaks to the viewer. Behind her, a darker-skinned person wearing a knit cap, a big jacket, and a skirt sardonically comments.

WOMAN: I.C.E. provides paychecks to thousands of vicious racist goons! Where else could those people go?

KNIT HAT: Police?

PANEL 4

In an extremely close close-up, a white man speaks to the viewer, lips contracted in fear, eyes incredibly wide, holding his hands to his face like the kid on the poster for “Home Alone.” His word balloon is drawn with shaky lines.

MAN: Because the b-b-brown people are invading and they’re g-going to replace us and soon there’ll be no white people left in America!

PANEL 5

A man and a woman talk in a park; the man looks angry.

MAN: Getting rid of I.C.E. means open borders!

WOMAN: But in 2000, before I.C.E. existed, borders weren’t-

MAN: DON’T DEFLECT ME WITH FACTS!

PANEL 6

The robber characters from the movie “Home Alone” stand smiling at the viewer. The shorter robber, who was played by Joe Pesci, speaks.

ROBBER: If the Home Alone movies taught us anything, it’s that children being left alone because I.C.E. snatched up their parents is wacky fun!

PANEL 7

A woman speaks to the viewer from behind a chain-link fence. She’s calm but sad, and she’s hooked the fingers of one hand through the chain links.

WOMAN: Because a lot of people think “never again” was only a suggestion.

PANEL 8

George Washington and Thomas Jefferson speak; Jefferson has both fists raised above his head in a “frat boy celebrating” like gesture.

WASHINGTON: Because forced labor performed by brown people trapped in inhumane conditions is what America’s all about! Right, Thomas?

JEFFERSON: Hell yeah, George!

PANEL 9

Two men are standing in front of a stone wall, talking. The first man, who is white, is making an expansive “oh, come on!” gesture; the second man, who appears Latino, has his arms crossed and is speaking cheerfully.

WHITE MAN:  Because if we “cancel” I.C.E. for inhumane treatment, where does it end? Do we cancel the border patrol? Private prisons?

LATINO: I can live with that.

PANEL 10

A woman sits in the middle of her bed. The shot is a bit distant and from above, making her look small and lonely. (Or so the cartoonist hoped.)

WOMAN: Abolishing I.C.E. would be really hard and the whole issue is such a bummer. So instead, I’ll sit home and quietly loathe myself. Cool?

Posted in Immigration, Racism & Racists |

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