Taking Away His Incentive To Work

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two well-dressed women and a panhandler wearing a blue knit hat are on a sidewalk; the panhandler is sitting on a piece of cardboard, with a cardboard sign saying “please give,” and his dog napping next to him. One of the women is handing him a dollar.

WOMAN 1: If you give him money, he won’t have any incentive to find a job.

WOMAN 2: It’s only a dollar.

PANHANDLER: Thank you.

PANEL 2

The panhandler, tossing his “please give” sign aside, grins hugely as he stares at the dollar.

PANHANDLER: Hee hee

PANEL 3

Still grinning and staring at the dollar bill, the panhandler walks past a little grocery. Someone in the shop doorway points to him and calls out.

SHOP OWNER: Hey, you — want a job?

PANHANDLER: Hee hee hah!

PANEL 4

The panhandler and his dog are enjoying the waters of some island paradise, floating on inflatable rings. He’s now wearing a bathing suit and sunglasses, although he’s still wearing his blue knit hat. A little floating table next to him has a drink with a tiny umbrella in it.

He’s still holding the dollar bill, which he’s gazing out with satisfaction.

PANHANDLER: Aaaah…

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is obscure cartoonists’ lingo for unimportant but funny details.

In panel 3, one of the posters in the grocery window shows a canned drink with a skull on the label.

In panel 4, there’s a rubby ducky wearing sunglasses floating in the water next to them. The dog is wearing a new diamond-studded dog collar. There’s a little table floating next to the dog with a dog bone in it.


Taking Away His Incentive To Work | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Economic cartoons |

We Can Disagree And Still Be Friends

Cartoon by Barry


Here’s a link to a timelapse drawing video for this cartoon!


I don’t have a cartoon syndicate and I’m not in newspapers. But I get to do this for a living because lots of readers support my Patreon with mostly small pledges! I also have prints and books for sale.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each of which shows two characters on a sidewalk. One is a man in a yellow polo shirt, the other a woman in a striped tank top.

PANEL 1

MAN: Why do you liberals make everything so personal? I know folks whose own kids have cut them off because they voted for Trump!

PANEL 2

The woman has stopped to face the man, and is listening with a little smile. The man is smiling and talking, but his face has begun to fall off, like a mask.

MAN: Sure, we’ve got political disagreements. But we shouldn’t let them stop us from being friends, right?”

PANEL 3

The man’s face falls off, and under it is a monstrous, open-mouthed creature. His speech balloon has a creepy, intense font. The man’s human face, still visible as it falls, is laughing.

MAN (monster face): Black illegals eating our dogs get out trannies are pedos fuck voting rights Sieg Heil

MAN (fallen face): Oops! Ha ha!

PANEL 4

The man pushes his face back into place. The woman is in shock, eyes wide and hands over mouth.

MAN: Anyhow, let’s not let politics come between us.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is unimportant details slipped into the art for fun.

Panel 1: Mickey Mouse, drawn in the style of “Steamboat Willie,” the first Mickey Mouse cartoon, is emerging from a hole in the ground, holding up a note that says “public domain ha ha!”

Panel 2: A gravestone in the background has “Floppy Disks 1971-2011” inscribed on it.

Tattoos: The woman has a tattoo on her bicep. In panel 1, it’s a tattoo of a nut (like at a hardware store). In panel 2, it’s a tattoo of a nut (a peanut). In panel 4, it’s a tattoo of Jerry Lewis as “The Nutty Professor.”


We Can Disagree And Still Be Friends | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Right-wingers |

Trump Says He’s Gonna Shoot Your Dad In The Face!

Cartoon by Barry


Check out the timelapse drawing video for this cartoon! You get to see me get started on drawing it, then throw everything out so I can rewrite it and start over.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

In a park, a blonde woman with a panicked expression is talking to a young man wearing a MAGA cap and an older man, both of whom are amused.

WOMAN: Trump says he’s gonna shoot your dad in the face!

MAGA GUY: Silly liberal! He’s not coming after good dads like mine.

DAD: You tell ‘im, son!

PANEL 2

A huge sound effect – “BANG!” – dominates the panel. The older man flies back, his skull fragmenting into pieces and his brain falling out, while Maga Guy watches with a shocked expression.

PANEL 3

The woman and Maga Guy stare in shock at the father’s dead body.

PANEL 4

Maga Guy swings around, pointing accusingly at the woman and yelling.

MAGA GUY: This is BIDEN’S fault!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is long-dead cartoonists’ lingo for unimportant details stuck in the art for fun.

PANEL 1: Kermit the Frog is peering around a tree in the background. The woman has a tattoo of Beaker from The Muppet Show on her bicep.

PANEL 2: The grain of the log is forming a smiley face.

PANEL 3: A bird flying by has a moon-faced head with a grinning human face. An evil bunny stands in front of the tree, smoking and wearing a fedora. Heihei, the chicken from the Moana movies, is sticking his head out a hole in the tree. The woman’s tattoo is now of Fozzie Bear.

PANEL 4: A sunglasses-wearing snake is coming out of a hole in the ground. Big Bird is sticking his head out of the hole in the tree. The woman’s tattoo shows Scooter from the Muppets.


Trump Says He’s Gonna Shoot Your Dad In The Face! | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Right-wingers |

The Getting Tough on Crime Cycle

Cartoon by Barry


Check out the timelapse drawing video for this one!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

A large, shadowy, and vaguely monstrous businessman looms in the background, counting a wad of money, representing the private prison industry. Three smaller scenes play out in front of this menacing figure, each featuring a police officer interacting with Uncle Sam, who is seated behind a desk. Arrows lead from scene to scene.

  • Panel 1 (Left): Uncle Sam looks frustrated, gesturing with his hand as if explaining a problem.  He says, “We have to reduce crime – which means being tough on crime! Put more people in jail!” A police officer listens.
  • Panel 2 (Top): The cop reports back to Uncle Sam, “Good news! We’ve put way more people in prison than any other country!” Uncle Sam gleefully responds, “Excellent! So now we’ve got the lowest crime rates?”
  • Panel 3 (Bottom): The cop says, “No, we’ve got much more violent crime than other rich countries.” Sam looks let down.

    An arrow leads from panel three back to panel one.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is ye olde cartoonists’ talk for unimportant details we put in for funsies.

PANEL 1: A mouse is peeking out from below the desk. A big jug marked “XXX” is on the desk. The circular design on the front of the desk says “Official seal of the United States,” and shows a head of a proud seal. Uncle’s Sam’s shirt has a pattern of Lisa Simpson heads.

PANEL 2 – The circular seal in front of the desk now has a drawing of a smiling Stephen Sondheim, and the words say “Sondheim the G.O.A.T.” Uncle Sam’s shirt is kind of incomprehensible this time – it’s a pattern of a straight razor crossing a rolling pin, a reference to Sondheim’s amazing musical Sweeney Todd.

PANEL 3 – Uncle Sam’s shirt has a pattern of Sally heads (Sally from “Peanuts”). The mug on his desk says “World’s Best Hegemon.” The magazine on his desk, in print way too tiny to read, is named “Exceptionalism Weekly.” The main story is “40 ways we’re better than everyone.” The secondary story is “We Want To Believe Our Murder Rate Isn’t Caused By Guns – and therefore it isn’t!” The magazine cover also has a photo of a grinning person waving a giant foam hand with “#1” printed on it.

BIG DUDE IN BACKGROUND – The tiny print on the money says “Feed Me Seymour.” The portrait on the front is a portrait of Groucho Marx.


The Getting Tough On Crime Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites |

If Not Now, Then Never

Cartoon by Barry


Check out the timelapse video of this cartoon being drawn!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. They mostly focus on two members of Congress. The first is a bald middle-aged man, usually wearing a collared shirt with a necktie. The second is a middle-aged woman, dressed mostly in skirt suits.

PANEL 1

The man, looking very intense, is waving a piece of paper that says “BILL” in large letters. The woman has her arms crossed and looks thoughtful. The Capitol Building can be seen behind them.

MAN: We must ban trans from participation in sports!

WOMAN (thought): If I give in on sports, it’ll be easier to resist future anti-trans bills.

PANEL 2

The same two, in different outfits, are now chatting in a hallway, with him standing in a doorway to an office.

MAN: Now that we’ve banned trans people from sports, we have to do bathrooms. Bathrooms are like locker rooms, so it’s really the same issue.

WOMAN (thought): I should give in on this too – people are sensitive about bathrooms.

PANEL 3

The two are in different outfits, standing in front of a fancy desk.

MAN: We need to ban changing gender on birth certificates and driver’s licenses to enforce our bathroom and sports bans, right?

WOMAN (thought): That does make sense…

PANEL 4

The woman is on a city sidewalk, talking to three angry-looking constituents. On of the constituents is holding up a newspaper, with a large headline saying “47th TRANS BAN BILL PASSES.”

WOMAN: I’m sorry. There was nothing I could have done to resist.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is long-dormant cartoonists’ vernacular for unimportant details we sneak into the drawings.

PANEL 1 – Woodstock from “Peanuts” is standing on top of the Capitol dome.

PANEL 2 – There’s a portrait on the wall of Commander T’Ana from “Star Trek: Lower Decks.”

Lower on the same wall, there’s a little recessed alcove. Standing in the alcove is a mouse wearing a collared shirt and tie, holding his morning coffee and contemplating the world.

PANEL 4 – The name of the newspaper is “Daily Opiate.” The subheadline says “Trans People Now Banned From Public Parks and Eating Ice Cream.” The story is accompanied by a photo of a Klansman giving a thumbs up. A different story at the bottom has the headline “Cartoonist Unsure of What to Fill Space With.”


If Not Now, Then Never | Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

God Bless

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Nadine Scholtes.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels, all taking place at the counter of a computer repair shop. There are two characters, a youthful customer wearing a red t-shirt, and a middle-aged man behind the counter, wearing a blue front-button shirt with a nametag.

PANEL 1

The clerk is smiling as he talks to the customer.

CLERK: We’ll try to have your computer fixed by Tuesday.

CUSTOMER: Thanks.

CLERK: God bless you.

PANEL 2

The customer looks like he’s internally debating something.

PANEL 3

The customer crosses his arms and looks grumpy.

CUSTOMER: I really hate it when people turn a business transaction into a religious one.

PANEL 4

The customer is getting more irate.

CUSTOMER: “God bless you?” What does that even mean? Which god? Why would he she or it want to “bless” me? Do you really think God’s plan for me changes based on you blessing me?

PANEL 5

The customer leans into the clerk’s face and pokes him in the chest; the clerk, taken aback, leans back.

CUSTOMER: Religious people should stop pushing your beliefs in my face! Can I get that blessing?

The right panel border is a thought balloon, leading to the customer character in panel six, indicating that the customer has been imagining this.

PANEL 6

The customer walks away, smiling and waving goodbye. The clerk watches him leave, smiling benevolently.

CUSTOMER: Have a nice day.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obscure bit of cartoonists’ jargon for unimportant details that we put in for fun.

PANEL 1 – A poster on the wall shows an anime girl holding a video game controller, under the caption “Anime and Video Games.” A smaller caption at the bottom says “You only don’t like them because you’re old.”

An adorable kitten on the counter is swiping at a computer mouse.

The customer has a tattoo of Snoopy on his right bicep.

PANEL 2 – The customer’s tattoo now shows Scooby Doo.

PANEL 3 – The customer’s tattoo shows Odie, the dog from “Garfield.”

PANEL 6 – The customer’s tattoo shows Jake, the dog from “Adventure Time.”

The poster on the wall has changed and now shows a sad looking clerk yelled at by unseen customers. The caption says “Be kind to clerks,” and a smaller caption at the bottom says “we once had dreams.”

A panel in the computer mouse is open, and a real mouse is standing next to the computer mouse, shaking a finger at the kitten and chewing the kitten out. The kitten looks very surprised.


God Bless! | Patreon

Posted in Nadine Scholtes collaborations, Religion and Atheism |

Keep Government Out of the Economy!

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a different person listening to a pundit on Fox News.

PANEL 1

We are looking at a closeup of someone’s hand holding a smartphone. On the screen, we can see PUNDITHEAD, a white man in a suit, talking to the camera.

PUNDITHEAD: The most important thing to understand about government and the economy is, government should stay out of the economy! Government should also ban fake meat and subsidize farms, but that’s it!

PANEL 2

A red-haired woman is sitting at a table eating with a tablet on the table in front of her. Pundithead is on the screen.

PUNDITHEAD: Except for laws making it harder for workers to unionize. Those are cool.

PANEL 3

A man jogs through a park while wearing headphones. Pundithead’s voice comes from the headphones.

PUNDITHEAD: And subsidize pharma, too. And ethanol. And Elon. And, uh… what was I saying?

PANEL 4

A woman sits in a coffee shop, a laptop open in front of her. She’s laughing. Pundithead’s voice comes from the laptop.

PUNDITHEAD: Oh, right. Government should never, ever interfere with the economy!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is obsolete cartoonists’ terminology for unimportant details the cartoonist puts in for the fun of it.

PANEL 1 – The Fox News channel logo says “Pox News cough.” The chyron at the bottom of the screen says “Nobody but you has ever read this text. You’re the only one who really appreciates this cartoon.”

In the background is Linus from “Peanuts,” leaning on the iconic brick wall.

PANEL 2 – the Fox News channel logo now says “Cow Moos channel.” The chyron says “Study confirms: Cyanide deadly poison. 46 graduate students perish proving the very obvious.”

A book lying on the table is entitled “101 background gags” by “J. R. R. Toke.” The publisher’s symbol on the book cover spine is Charlie Brown’s head surrounded by laurels.

Her coffee mug says “T.M.” in big letters. In tiny letters next to that “TM,” is another “TM” in small letters. In an even tinier font next to the second “TM” is the little copyright symbol.

The food on her plate, a sort of lumpy mass (I was thinking of it as mashed potatoes) has two wide eyes and a mouth, and looks distressed.

A big dog has laid its head on the table and is looking pleadingly at the woman. A cat is lying on top of the dog’s head, also looking pleadingly at the woman. A bird sits atop the cat’s head.

The woman’s shirt has a pattern with lots of little “Lucy” (from “Peanuts”) heads.

PANEL 3 – The jogger’s shirt has a picture of a skull wearing a white founding father wig, with the caption “George Washington. Rested & Ready.”

An evil bunny, wearing an eyepatch and smoking a cigarette, is in the foreground.

PANEL 4 – A sign taped to the wall says “$500 charge if you read this sign. Cash only.”

It’s hard to make out, but the little branding symbol on the back of the laptop is an image of the evil bunny from panel 3.

On the woman’s cell phone screen is a stickfigure smiling and giving us the finger.

The tattoos on her left arm are a coffee mug with “I am 89% coffee” written on it; a happy worm in a fedora crawling out of an apple; and “My other arm is a Mercedes.” The tattoo on her right arm is a Mercedes symbol.


Keep Government Out of the Economy! | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Economic cartoons, Right-wingers |

Our Highest Priority

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels are set in a fancy-looking government office. There are two characters, a scientist (we can tell she’s a scientist because she’s wearing a white lab coat) and Uncle Sam.

PANEL 1

The scientist is holding a clipboard and explaining something to Uncle Sam. Uncle Sam reacts dramatically, raising a finger into the air and looking determined.

SCIENTIST: Over three hundred child pedestrians were killed in accidents last year, and thousands more injured.

SAM: That’s awful! Keeping kids safe is our highest priority! What can we do?

PANEL 2

SCIENTIST: The best first step is to slow traffic down! Speed bumps, traffic circles, lower speed limits, traffic cameras… Slower cars save lives.

SAM: Hmm… Uh huh.

PANEL 3

The scientist pulls down a big display, which shows a childish drawing of an SUV hitting four stickfigure children. The stickfigure children go flying, and have “X”s for eyes. Sam looks fearful.

SCIENTIST: And we should do something about oversized SUVs and trucks with high blunt noses. People think they’re safer, but when they hit kids they’re deadly.

SAM: So we need to regulate them?

PANEL 4

Uncle Sam backs away, fake grinning and holding up his palms in a “stop” gesture.

SCIENTIST: No, we need to ban them.

SAM: Hey, aren’t we catastrophizing? People can always make new kids, right?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is obsolete cartoonist terminology for unimportant details cartoonists sneak in.

The front of the desk has the Great Seal of the United States attached to it, with an image of a bald eagle holding a bundle of arrows and an olive branch in its talons. But in panel two it’s holding a lit stick of dynamite and an open beer can. And in panel four it’s holding a rifle and a smartphone.

On the shelves behind the desk is a bust. In panel one, it’s a bust of George Washington labeled “GW.” In panel two, it’s a bust of Linn Manual Miranda, labeled “LMM.” And in panel four, it’s a bust of E.T., labeled “ET.”


Our Highest Priority | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations |

Compromising the Centrist Way

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. They all show a little seating area in a food cart pod (basically an outdoor food court), where two people – a man in a blue sweater and a van dyke beard, and a woman in a green cardigan and a red skirt – are talking as they enjoy their drinks.

PANEL 1

BLUE: As a centrist, I think we need compromise on climate change. The left can’t fix it by itself!

PANEL 2

BLUE: The left needs to be less didactic and more open-minded and willing to make compromises.

GREEN: And what compromises should the right make?

PANEL 3

Blue makes “air quotes” with his fingers, while Green leans forward, hand rubbing her chin.

BLUE: For instance, the left should stop saying we need to pay attention to “social justice” when we design climate policies.

GREEN: And what compromises should the right make?

PANEL 4

Blue smiles, pleased with his conclusion. Green stands up and yells, her arms in the air.

BLUE: And the left needs to accept less regulation. And stop all the alarmism.

GREEN (angry): And what compromises should the right make?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

The chicken fat here is in the “Holy Crepe” special of the day board on one of the food carts in the background. In panel one, it says “Today’s Special: American’s Apricot Talent.” In panel two, it says “Today’s Special: Nutella Mockingbird.” In panel three, it says “Today’s Special: Between a Guac and a Chard Place.” And in panel four, it says “Today’s Special: A Cream Deferred (vegan).”


Compromising the Centrist Way | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Environmental cartoons |

Why I Have Hope

Cartoon by Barry


I don’t have a cartoon syndicate and I’m not in newspapers. But I get to do this for a living because lots of readers support my Patreon with mostly small pledges! I also have prints and books for sale.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This four-panel cartoon shows two women talking as they walk through a park. The first woman has red hair and glasses, the second woman has a red hoodie and black hair held in a bun.

PANEL 1

GLASSES: So what do you think – is democracy done for?

BUN: What do I know? I thought Trump was definitely going to lose. Twice.

PANEL 2

A close shot of Bun, who looks distressed.

BUN: When I was a kid lots of smart people said we were doomed to be destroyed by nuclear war, and I believed them.

PANEL 3

BUN: I was shocked when the Berlin Wall fell. And I thought we’d never get gay marriage or legal pot in my lifetime.

PANEL 4

Both characters smile, and Bun spreads her hands expansively.

GLASSES: So you predict things will be all right?

BUN: No, I predict catastrophe. But it gives me hope that my predictions are always complete garbage.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is a venerable cartoonists’ term for unimportant details put into the backgrounds.

PANEL 1: There’s a hole in the ground, and Marge Simpson is popping her head out of the hole.

An almost illegibly tiny newspaper lies on the ground. The newspaper is called “The New Fork Tines.” The top headline says “Democrats Choose Youth For Leadership Position,” with a sub-headline reading “Newly appointed leader only 71.”

A bottle lying on the ground has a label that says “Old Litter.”

A mouse is holding a skunk at gunpoint. The skunk has its hands raised and next to it is a sack with a “$” on it.

PANEL 3

A bird flying through the air is wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.

A hole in a tree has a paper hanging from it, which says “Hole For Rent, utilities not included.”

PANEL 4

One of the buildings in the background has a gigantic teddy bear climbing it King Kong style.

The mouse from panel 1, holding a shovel, stands by a freshly dug grave. The money bag lies near the mouse’s feet.


Why I Have Hope | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites |

Tragicomic Compromise

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon was written by Rachel Swirsky, the much-awarded science fiction writer who also collaborates with me writing the scripts to the Wings of Fire graphic novels. This, by the way, is the second Shakespeare-themed cartoon Rachel and I have done together; we did one about copyright almost a decade ago.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Three people stand on the stage of a theater. From the ladders and paint cans and junk strewn around, we can see that this isn’t a show, but preparation for a show.

A woman and a man yell angrily at each other, while a third person stands in the middle, holding a clipboard and looking exhausted.

WOMAN: Recasting Romeo and Juliet as lesbians is problematic! Gay people deserve happy endings too!

MAN: Romeo and Juliet is one of History’s Greatest Romances! Are you saying only cis-hets deserve enduring tragic beauty?

PANEL 2

A must closer shot shows the woman and man screaming with fury while the clipboard-holder facepalms.

WOMAN: It’s killing your gays!

MAN: Tragic beauty!

CLIPBOARD HOLDER: Look, let’s compromise.

PANEL 3

A shot of an audience, in dim lighting, watching a show. A woman looks wide-eyed and touched; the man next to her looks a bit annoyed and skeptical.

JULIET (speaking from off panel): Oh, happy dagger! This is thy sheath– But soft, through yonder breaks! A magic rift! I am– Wrested in twain–

MAN: Did… They just add an interdimensional rift to Romeo and Juliet?

WOMAN: Shhh!

PANEL 4

We are behind the same pair of audience members, looking over their shoulders at the brightly lit stage.

The stage has been divided in half by a prop shaped like a giant lightning bolt, which is hanging on wires from above. To the left of the lightning bolt, Romeo and Juliet are making out. To the right of the lightning bolt, Romeo and Juliet lie dead, Romeo with a poison bottle and Juliet with a dagger sticking out of her chest.

In the audience, the man’s annoyance has grown, while the woman is weeping and smiling.

MAKING OUT COUPLE: Mmmm! Mph!

MAN: What the hell?

WOMAN: It’s perfect!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an outdated cartoonists’ term for unimportant details that are still fun.

PANEL 1

On the label of the paint can, a man is wincing away from some paint that’s dripped down onto the label.

The woman has a tattoo that says “2B 2B,” with a circle with a diagonal line on top of the second “2B.”

A newspaper lying on the floor, “The Daily Background,” has two headlines: “Coup In Denmark” and “Julius Seize Her.”

PANEL 3

Stuart Little – the anthropomorphic mouse character – is sitting in the audience in front of our focus characters.


Tragicomic Compromise | Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons, Rachel Swirsky collaborations |

The Immigration Deal

Cartoon by Barry


I don’t have a cartoon syndicate and I’m not in newspapers. But I get to do this for a living because lots of readers support my Patreon with mostly small pledges! I also have prints and books for sale.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. They depict three people – a mother, father and their small daughter – carrying luggage and standing on a dirt road. Their path is being blocked by a large man wearing a floral shirt and an Uncle Sam hat.

PANEL 1

The woman, smiling, has stepped forward to talk to Uncle Sam.

WOMAN: Hi, America. We’re immigrants. The situation in our home country is so awful we’re forced to come live and work in the U.S…. Nearly all economists agree this benefits you a lot.

UNCLE SAM: Okay, lemme tell you the deal…

PANEL 2

Panel shows Uncle Sam grinning a bit manically.

UNCLE SAM: You’re gonna be hated so much! Major politicians will lie and say you increase crime, spread disease, even eat housepets!

PANEL 3

Uncle Sam, still grinning, waves his hands in the air.

UNCLE SAM: Despite all the ways you benefit me, you’ll be blamed for all my problems. Great deal for you, right? Now go find low-wage jobs.

PANEL 4

The father and mother look a bit peeved, and their daughter hides behind her dad, as Uncle Sam, not even looking at them, folds his arms and looks smug.

WOMAN (thought): I can’t believe this maniac is our best option.

UNCLE SAM: I’m waiting for my “thank you…”

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for unimportant details stuck into cartoons.

PANEL 1 – On the ground, a worm is pointing a tiny gun at a bird; the bird looks frightened.

Also, on the ground is a newspaper entitled “Daily Leopard.” The top headline reads “Yum! Five new face recipes!” The lower headline reads “Op-ed: Our spots are perfect and require no change.”

PANEL 2 – Krazy and Ignatz, from the classic comic strip Krazy Kat, are standing on a wall in the background. Graffiti on the same wall says “take the moment present as a present for the moment,” a quote from the musical Into The Woods.

Uncle Sam has a tattoo with a caricature of Adam Smith in a heart.

PANEL 4 – An evil bunny, glaring and smoking a cigarette, is on the ground. A smiling man is peeking out through a hole in the wall behind Uncle Sam.


The Immigration Deal | Patreon

Posted in Economic cartoons, Immigration, Social Justice |

Echo Echo Echo Fox Fox Fox

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

We’re looking at an open laptop. On the laptop screen we can see a Fox News show, where two hosts are speaking with a guest.

HOST: Thanks for joining us on Fox! Now, you’ve written a book about woke liberal echo chambers?

GUEST: I have! You see, woke liberals spend all their time in places where only liberal opinions are heard.

PANEL 2

The Fox show is showing an image of a book. The title is “Inside the Woke Bubble Wrap Safe Space Echo Chamber Bubble.”

GUEST: They have their own websites, their own cable networks. They’re aware that other opinions exist, but they don’t trust any news source outside their own bubble.

PANEL 3

The guest author shrugs.

HOST: Is there no way of changing liberals’ minds?

GUEST: Not while they stay safe within their echo chamber.

PANEL 4

We see a woman watching the laptop; she has an amused expression.

HOST: So sad! Good thing conservatives aren’t like that.

GUEST: Yes, exactly!

HOST 2: I agree too!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an antediluvian cartoonists’ term for little details that are unimportant to the cartoon but which are amusing, at least to ourselves.

PANEL 1 – There’s a cat asleep behind the laptop. On the front of the laptop, the branding just says “LOGO.” The Fox News logo says “Faux News channel.” The chyron (the line of text at the bottom of news shows) says “Study: Your ears look kinda funny.”

PANEL 2 – The Fox logo now says “Lox News on bagels.” The chyron says “Global Warming: myth, plot or scam?”

PANEL 3 – The Fox logo now says “Over Look these words.” The chyron says “Oprah uses time machine, kills Christ.”

PANEL 4 – The back of the laptop has the planet sticking its tongue out, from the front cover of Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, on it. The cat is now wearing glasses and smoking a cigarette. The woman’s coffee mug has an illustration on it of a handgun firing; below the drawing are the words “Get it? It’s a mug shot.”


Echo Echo Echo Fox Fox Fox | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Right-wingers |

Why Democrats Lost

Cartoon by Barry


It’s another timelapse drawing video! See me change my mind about the final figure’s pose! See me make a last minute decision to add in a kicker panel! See me go through dozens of possible colors which felt to me like it took forever but in the video goes by in like a second!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, plus a small “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon. In each panel, a woman with black hair held in a ponytail, is being spoken to by a new character.

PANEL 1

An older man wearing a necktie is explaining as Ponytail listens.

MAN: It’s not the Democrats’ fault – incumbent parties worldwide got a shellacking this year.

PANEL 2

A long haired woman leans into the panel, shaking a fist angrily.

WOMAN: It’s because the Democrats denied how working class people are suffering from inflation!

PANEL 3

A woman with short black hair and glasses pushed on top of her head appears, holding up a graph to illustrate her point.

WOMAN: The economy was great! We lost because the GOP lied about crime and the economy and the media let them!

PANEL 4

A panicked older woman with white hair in a bun is holding Ponytail by the shoulders and shaking her.

WOMAN: Our ground game was so superior! The voting machines must have been rigged!

PANEL 5

An intense looking man comes in, holding a tablet in the air.

MAN: Ground game means nothing now! What matters is winning the online information war, and the Dems had nothing!

PANEL 6

A young man with messy black hair waves his hands in the air as he speaks angrily.

MAN: The Democrats spat in the bases’ faces by supporting genocide in Gaza! Of course the base stayed home!

PANEL 7

Lord Voldemort, the evil antagonist of the Harry Potter books, comes in glaring. Ponytail turns her back on him.

VOLDEMORT: It’s the fault of the transsssesss… It’s always trans’ fault… hisss!

PONYTAIL: Oh, #&*!@ off!

PANEL 8

Four more people come in, on every side of Ponytail, all barking theories at her. She looks around in confusion.

PERSON: Should’ve stuck with Biden

PERSON: Sexist racist voters

PERSON: The Cheneys

PERSON: Bitter young men

PERSON: Biden stayed in too long

PANEL 9

A bearded, grinning man wearing a necktie leans into the panel to talk to Ponytail. Ponytail facepalms.

MAN: And now that we know why we lost, we can make sure it doesn’t happen next time!

KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The bearded man from panel 9 holds out a hand to Ponytail, palm up. Ponytail glares at him.

MAN: The first step is give us more money.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an outdated cartoonists’ term for little details that don’t matter but might amuse someone (or at least amused the cartoonist).

PANEL 1 – Ponytail has a tattoo on her arm saying “you are here.”

PANEL 3 – The back of the woman’s shirt says “My baking skills make the pope cry.”

PANEL 4 – The man appears to be Charlie Brown at age 60 or so. He’s got a tattoo of Snoopy napping on a doghouse on his arm.

The man’s tablet has small print on it which says “Scientist says that you, yes, you, are swell and smell nice. Congrats!”

PANEL 7 – The bottom of Voldemort’s wand has a screaming face on it. Some poor captured soul, or is Lord Voldemort a secret whittler?


Why Democrats Lost | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

Personal Vehicle Arms Race

Cartoon by Barry


This comic was drawn by my most frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows two characters walking together on city sidewalks, with parked cars and traffic visible in every panel. The main character, a blonde man with neat hair, a blue polo shirt, and peach shorts, is the speaker. His friend is a brown-haired woman wearing a pink sleeveless shirt and leggings. Both carry ice cream cones.

PANEL 1

The man points to a sleek little blue car parked nearby.

MAN: I used to drive a small car like that, but my husband Bill wanted me in something big to be safe from other drivers.

PANEL 2

The man clasps his hands excitedly as he thinks of a mini-truck, stars in his eyes. The background is his thought bubble, and in the bubble is an image of him driving in a cute green mini-truck. Captions surrounding the mini-truck say “less expensive” and “better gas mileage” and “easy to park.”

MAN: Then I wanted a Japanese mini-truck. But Bill said U.S. laws make it almost impossible to import a new one.

PANEL 3

The two pedestrians pause at a street corner as they chat. At the same intersection, a red SUV runs a stop sign, and a smaller SUV is cut off and has to suddenly brake.

MAN: Anyway, Bill said I need something really big! Roads nowadays are dog eat dog! To be safe I’ve gotta be the biggest dog!

PANEL 4

The two pedestrians have come to a stop. The man is smiling and waves hi at the driver of a truck which has parked there. The friend, looking up at the truck, is so startled she drops her ice cream.

The truck is enormous – probably three times the height of an adult man, and straddling at least three parking spaces. Even the headlights are above the man’s head.

In the driver’s seat, Bill, a happy looking guy with an orange beard, waves back.

MAN: And here’s Bill now!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is an old cartoonists’ expression for unimportant details that might amuse.

In panel one, a car has a license plate which says “TINY print.”

In panel two, the stuff piled in the back of the mini-truck include a dressmaker’s dummy and a rubber ducky.

In panel four, a big truck says “Stronk Boys Moving Co” on the side.

In panel three, a car has a license plate that says “DONT read me.” And the FURIOUS expression of the driver whose car was cut off is priceless.


Personal Vehicle Arms Race | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations |

Things Were So Much Better Then

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is drawn by Jenn Lee, who added so many great 1970s details!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels. Each panel shows different characters and scenes. The first six panels are all set in the 1970s.

PANEL 1

Two women lie in bed chatting and petting a cat; one of them is holding a newspaper which has the simple headline “NIXON!”

WOMAN 1: Hmm… Should I spend today waiting in line at the gas station or the unemployment office?

WOMAN 2: Gosh, they both sound so enticing!

PANEL 2

In a bar, a blue-collar looking man is waving a disco LP around angrily while drinking. Another man, in a suit and tie, smiles agreeably.

BLUE COLLAR: “Disco” music is liked by Blacks and gays and even gay Blacks! Let’s burn records and riot!

SUIT: That seems reasonable.

PANEL 3

At the counter of a 7-11 style convenience store, one that has tons of cigarettes for sale, a clerk is selling a pack of cigarettes to a ten year old girl. A boom box radio is on the countertop.

RADIO: First they let women have bank accounts, now they want to make it a crime for us to rape our own wives! Whatever happened to family values?

PANEL 4

We are looking at a large (by 1970s standards) TV, much heavier and thicker than any TV today would be. On the screen, a news reporter is reading from a script while he holds a lit cigarette in his other hand. The air around him is filled with cigarette smoke.

TV REPORTER: Our forecast says smog will be high today. So if you must leave your home, avoid unnecessary breathing.

PANEL 5

A well-off-looking man stands on the front steps of an expensive looking club, talking to a couple of reporters.

MAN: Merely because our club doesn’t allow Jews or women or Blacks or Hispanics or Orientals or gays is no reason to call us prejudiced! I consider that a slur!

PANEL 6

A bohemian-styled woman and a punk-styled man are walking together on a city sidewalk. She looks like she’s pondering something, one hand holding her chin. He is struggling with a high stack of thick hardcover books he’s carrying and has a big grin.

WOMAN: I need to look up some basic facts…

MAN: That’s why I always carry an encyclopedia!

PANEL 7

An enormous caption says DECADES LATER.

A middle-aged man sits in a chair at the barber shop, reading something on his smartphone and looking a little sad, while a barber is using clippers on the back of the man’s neck.

MAN (thought balloon): Sigh… Things were so much better when I was a kid.

1970s DETAIL WATCH

Jenn slipped in so many 1970s details to this cartoon! And she sent me this list! Take it away, Jenn:

I just realized that I have, yet again, illustrated a Barry strip that end with a grown man yearning for the way things were in his youth. For most of the 1970s I was single digit in age and am mostly glad I survived it what with riding free in the back of pickup trucks, bouncing all the way, playing in junkyards, skateboarding without a helmet and all the rest. What follows are the details I remember from that time:

PANEL 1

Wicker Headboard

As with many 1970s decor, this probably started in the later 1960s but held on in popularity for at least another decade. They were most commonly natural as seen here, or painted white.

Green walls

So many green walls, anywhere from avocado to fern.

Spider plant

Most everybody had a hanging spider plant.

Macrame plant hanger

Those and macrame wall hangings. Such great dust catchers, not unlike the wicker headboard.

Faux oil lamp electric bed lamp

Colonial touches like these were hugely popular in the run up to the U.S.A.’s Bicentennial in 1976. Anything alluding to 1776, musicals, Mr. Magoo cartoons, movies, Halloween costumes, furniture and so many decoupaged plaques of colonial America scenes with torn edges.

You also saw the outside of houses adopting decorative window shutters, porch pillars redone in the Georgian style or an eagle plaque over the door.

Pet Rocks

Rocks with painted eyes were a thing that people actually paid money for.

A digital equivalent is Tamagotchi which had a recent revival. I confess I had one decades ago that I let “die” will watching “Trainspotting” with Barry and others at Cinema 21, which seems relevant all around.

Ziggy Mug

Ziggy was a popular sad sack character that had a certain charm. He was a comforting proletarian character you could imagine hugging.

Orange comforter

Orange was a prominent color in many soft goods.

Nixon!

He was talked about for years after Watergate. Rich Little’s impressions helped that along I’m sure.

Gas lines

Not only were there gas lines, but you were only allowed to get gas on certain days depending on if your license plate ended in an even or odd number. I remember trekking a half mile in the snow to check for my mother if it was an even or an odd day based on the cars being served. (She had just gotten off a double shift as a nurse in the CCU [Cardiac Care Unit] and needed to catch up on her sleep).

PANEL 2

Wood paneled lounges and bars

I remember these all the time as restrictions on minors in these places were loose and variable.

“Animated” waterfall beer pictures

Many beer brands had these alternating light advertisements in bars, sometimes with a clock jammed in there. Fresh water of distinct source was something many beers boasted about. They were often yellowed by tobacco smoke and made a grinding noise as the mechanism simulated running water.

Disco Album

Most compilation albums of disco music featured rainbow coloration.

Blue collar worker

Actually wore blue shirts or overalls by and large.

Billy Beer

President Carter’s brother Billy was shameless in leveraging his connection to Jimmy. Absolutely not appropriate but was a fart in a hurricane in comparison to today’s indiscretions.

Mustache

Mustaches were quite a thing in the 1970s. Not so much beards.

Wide lapels and ties

Haute couture in business wear then.

Brown suits

Very common. Along with a touch of light blue, a combination I am actually fond of.

Harvey Wallbanger

An iconic 1970s cocktail will vodka, orange juice and radioactive maraschino cherries.

Red leather Padded bar edge

Classy.

PANEL 3

Convenience Stores

A little bit of everything but mostly cigarettes, candy and magazines. Overcrowded and informal, often with a spinner rack of comics and brown paper wrapped porn mags, but also easy access to Heavy Metal magazine.

Tic-Tacs

These zig-zag displays were always delightful to me. And dusty.

Portable radio

How music was streamed, along with car radios. I have a play list in Tidal called “Red Panasonic Clock Radio”  of 1970s songs I actually like. I had to explain the title to my daughter who was appalled I had no control over the music I ‘streamed’ as a kid and had no option but to endure commercials.

Tacky uniform shirt

Bright colors of a poison dart frog in polyester. Garnished with a name tag. Did not breathe and smelled funky in combination with body heat, no matter how many times it was previously washed.

Kid buying cigarettes

This was me, with a note from my mom saying I could buy cigarettes for her. Though, instead of Marlboros, she smoked Benson & Hedges Menthol 100’s Ultra Lights. Which did cost 47¢ back in the day. Though I actually usually bought a carton of 10. (Yes she was the Assistant Head Nurse of CCU. I was aware of the irony even then.)

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

I loved the Virginia Slim Ads that pictured back in the day versus the more liberated attitude to women smoking now. Mostly for the elaborate reconstruction of the “then” scenes.

Keep on Truckin’

Back when memes were carried through bumper stickers and t-shirts. My favorite one being a take on the Christian Bumper sticker of “My boss is a Jewish carpenter” altered to “My carpenter is a bossy Jew.”

PANEL 4

Television as furniture

Real wood casing of a bulky cathode tube TV unit where the max screen size was limited to 30 inches and color was still not the default. And no remote controls. Any channel over 13 was UHF where the public access channels lived, the equivalent to You Tube today. The fact my family had one of these beasts was due to a generous gift from my mother’s parents. Also we displayed our nativity scene on top of it every Christmas.  (The mantel for our stockings was draped over an accordion style steam heat radiator which made Santa extra magical).

Orange shag carpet

Nothing more 1970s than that. I remember ours as uncut loops.

Dried pampas grass in floor vases

A decor choice that extended into the 1980s and 1990s, only the color and treatment of the vases changed. This was another great dust collector of the time, along with aluminum vertical blinds. Lots of my memories of the 1970s involve dust.

Fuzzy toile wallpaper

Everywhere, meant to imitate velvet flocked Victorian wall paper. But was just more dust filled polyester (hat tip to Barry for this touch).

Anchor smoking on TV

Never actually happened as far as I know. But people did smoke EVERYWHERE. On line in the pharmacy, in restaurants, staff rooms, you name it. And I’m sure anchors would smoke on air if they could.

Leaded gasoline

Speaking of air borne toxins from car exhaust, there’s a theory that there were so many serial killers in the late 1960s to early 1980s due to the lead added to automobile gas to get rid of ‘knocking’ noises in car engines starting in the 1920s. With the invention of the catalytic converter in the mid 1970s, the ‘need’ for the lead was eliminated and eventually made illegal nationwide n the 1990s. (When Barry and I and others first moved to Oregon, there were still leaded gasoline pumps).

Cigarillo

A short thin cigar considered classy in the 1970s.

PANEL 5

Men’s Clubs

Were a big deal as that was the main place deals were struck in business, politics and other fields and so an important barrier to overcome for any non Anglo-Saxon male member of society.

The BO Club

I named it the BO club as a reference to Boys Only but also the Warner Bros. Cartoon Insult for body order, usually delivered after the target said something objectionable.

The adult onesie

A ridiculous piece of impractical ‘unisex’ wardrobe. The only men who made this outfit look remotely cool are the BeeGees on the cover of “Saturday Night Fever.”

Blond feathered hair

The unisex hairstyle was there for Farah Fawcett and Peter Frampton.

Tanned skin

A resurgence of the leisure class’s ability to cultivate an even and pleasing tan from the 1920s as a sign of health and natural good looks.

Female reporter

Long natural hair, bulky turtle neck in a natural color and hand written notes.

Male photographer

Bulky specialized camera, army surplus utility vest and strapped knit top. Also natural hair afro.

PANEL 6

The OG BoHo Lady

Honestly the Boho trend is a call back to the “peasant” look of the 1970s, an urban “gypsy’” with flowing hair, loosely tied hair scarf, oversized tinted sunglasses, peasant blouse, bangles and a large beaded necklace.

Metal Trash Can

Oscar the Grouch’s home, the ordinary made magical, a big theme in the the 1970s in all sorts of media.

Punk

The other proletariat movement, a more confrontational one with Mohawks, piercings, safety pins and studded black leather. Never mind the music and its anti-establishment message. But just regular folk for the most part.

Encyclopedia

From the Greek for “general education,” the pride of any home before the internet, the jumping off point for any serious research at a library. Huge double shelf volumes of varying spine widths with annual updates.

PANEL 7

Traces of retro:

Lava lamp

First a feature of the 1960s, it continued as an item prized in the 1970s and has been revived several times since.

Smiley Face sticker

First introduced in the early 1960’s, it remained popular as a prototype emoticon in the 1970s.

Flower power “Love Bug” Sticker

The first “Herbie the Love Bug” movie was released in 1969 about a sentient Volkswagen Bug with sequels throughout the 1970s. Along with “Benji” movies, following the trials and tribulations of the all American mutt.


Things Were So Much Better Then | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites |

The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, arranged so that they can be read in a clockwise circle. Each panel shows the same character – a homeless man wearing jeans, a hoodie, and a knit cap. I’ll call him “Knit.”

TOP PANEL

Knit is lying on a park bench, looking like he just woke up, and with a confused expression on his face. A cop holding a billy club stands over him.

COP: Get up! Public sleeping is now a crime. You’re going to jail.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

RIGHT HAND PANEL

Knit, looking confused and unhappy, is being kicked out of a building that has a sign over the door: “JAIL.” Knit looks confused and unhappy. We don’t see anything of the person kicking Knit out except for the shoe and leg that are doing the kicking.

KICKING GUY: You’ve served your time. Get out!

An arrow leads from that panel to:

BOTTOM PANEL

Knit, with a disappointed expression, is listening to a businessman-looking type wearing a necktie talk. The businessman has a stern expression.

BUSINESSMAN: You’ve been in jail! I’d never hire you, or rent to you.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

LEFT HAND PANEL

It’s dark out; the only light is coming from a door which has been open a crack. Knit stands in front of the door. A sign above the door says “SHELTER.” A woman inside is speaking to Knit through the crack.

WOMAN: Sorry, out of beds. Good luck.

An arrow leads from that panel back to the TOP PANEL.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for little details the cartoonist puts in which don’t matter at all, but they amused the cartoonist.

TOP PANEL: A newspaper lying on the ground, “Background Tribune,” says “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MAY HAVE WON A MILLION BUCKS!” Below that, in smaller print, it says “but probably not.”

And the bench has a little graffiti, a heart with “E + MC2” written inside it.

RIGHT HAND PANEL: Through the open door to the jail, we can see a poster on the wall, with a smiling cartoon bear wearing a guard’s cap and giving us a thumbs up. Above the bear, in large letters, it says “Protect Yourself From RSI.” In smaller letters below the bear, it says “always stretch before beating prisoners.”

One of the stones of the building’s wall is missing, and a man with a handlebar mustache is looking out nervously.

Another stone has a little barred window in it, and a mouse inside has its hands on the bars and looks out forlornly.

LEFT HAND PANEL: Woodstock from “Peanuts” is standing atop the building.


The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Social Justice |

They Walk Among Us

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all of the same scene: Two women are waiting at a bus stop, talking. One woman, who I’ll call, oh, I dunno, I’ll just randomly say CHAYA, is wearing a modest purple dress and has long brown hair. The other woman, who I’ll call HAIRCLIP, is wearing a yellow front-button shirt and blue tights. And she has a hair clip. 🙂

PANEL 1

Both women are seated on the bus stop bench. Chaya is holding her smartphone in front of Hairclip’s face; Hairclip is leaning away, taken by surprise.

CHAYA: Look at this! It’s a picture of a greeter at a children’s museum!

HAIRCLIP: Um… so?

PANEL 2

Chaya has stood and is pushing the smartphone at Hairclip, who has raised a hand to push the smartphone away. Chaya is yelling a bit.

CHAYA: Well, I think this person looks trans! Isn’t that awful? Doesn’t it make you feel panic and rage?

PANEL 3

Hairclip has stood and is chewing out Chaya, who sits back down.

HAIRCLIP: No, of course not! It’s just someone doing their job! What’s wrong with you?

PANEL 4

Hairclip stomps off angrily. Behind her, Chaya looks happy, even serene, as she looks at her smartphone screen.

HAIRCLIP (thought): Jerk! Good thing no one would listen to a clown like that.

A large arrow-shaped caption points at Chaya. The caption says “3.5 million followers.”

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for amusing but unnecessary details the cartoonist puts into the cartoon.

In this cartoon, there’s an ad on the public bench they’re sitting on. No single panel shows the whole bench, but if you look at all of them you can determine that the ad says “#1 New York Times Bestseller I HAVE BEEN SILENCED!, with an image of the guy from this cartoon.

The bus stop sign has an image of a rocket ship instead of a bus.

In panel 4, a newspaper is lying on the ground. The newspaper is called “Background Post.” The headline says “TRAGIC!,” and the subhead says “Artist fails to leave enuf room for text, nation mourns.”


They Walk Among Us | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

AI is coming and will change EVERYTHING!

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon was drawn by Nadine Scholtes.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a difference scene.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “PITCH.”

The image shows a woman speed-walking while walking her dog. In the background, a homeless man sits against a wall reading a newspaper. The woman is wearing headphones, and a speech balloon points to the headphones.

HEADPHONES: Artificial Intelligence is almost here – and it’s gonna rock your world!

PANEL 2

A woman sits at a table scattered with board game pieces and reads a manual. In the background, a TV is on, and a slick-looking blonde man wearing a suit and tie is grinning and lifting his arms high in excitement.

MAN ON TV: Get ready! Your personal A.I. will do everything for you! Tax returns! Therapy! Pet care! Foot massages!

PANEL 3

Inside someone’s apartment. There’s no human in sight, but there is a dog and a cat. On the sofa is an open laptop, and on the laptop’s screen a blonde pitchwoman is grinning. The dog sits watching the laptop, tail wagging.

PITCHWOMAN: With Artificial Intelligence, no one will ever be sad or lonely again! A.I. is life!

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of this panel says “REALITY.”

A young guy sits with his feet up on the sofa and his cat beside him. He’s reading his smartphone. A caption shows us what’s on his smartphone.

SMARTPHONE: A.I. powered toenail clippers $179.00

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is cartoonist slang for unnecessary (but hopefully amusing) details slipped into the cartoon. (You can stop reading now if you’re not interested.)

PANEL 1

The homeless man also has a dog, a cute little dog with a big white mustache – probably a schnauzer? The dog has a weary expression as it watches the bigger dog walking past.

The big dog walking past looks kind of snooty, and is wearing sunglasses.

There’s graffiti on the wall behind the homeless man. The graffiti says, respectively: “Steve.” “Sondheim.” “Lovett + Todd 4ever.” “Nice is different than good.” and “Withers wither with her.” Those are all references to the musicals of Stephen Sondheim. There’s also “BG,” which stands for “background.”

The homeless man’s newspaper is called “Background Tribune.” The headline says “Capybara to Rule World.” The sub headline says “‘It’s time for the grown-ups to take charge’ says adorable rodent.”

PANEL 2

The thick book the woman is reading is entitled “The Overly Complex Board Game Directions (vol 3 of 12)”. Parts scattered on the table include tokens, chips, six-sided dice, a twenty-sided die, a rook (the chess piece), an hourglass timer, playing cards, and a rubric’s cube.

On the TV, a chyron at the bottom of the screen says “Man loses sight from reading tiny print.”

PANEL 3

Apparently the pets have wrecked this apartment – the wallpaper is torn, the cat has done serious damage to the leg of the sofa, and there’s a urine puddle near the dog. The cat is sitting on the windowsill staring at a small bird on the other side of the window, who is sticking its tongue out at the cat and doing the thumbs-on-ears gesture that accompanies the tongue, as well as it can manage since it has wings.

PANEL 4

The cat is sitting like a human on its butt, back leaning against a cushion, with a bowl of food lying on its tummy. (I love this cat! 100% made up by Nadine.)

A magazine on the coffee table is entitled “Rich Pretty People.” The magazine shows a beautiful woman in a fancy gown with dollar bills falling down around her. The caption at the bottom of the cover says “They’re just like you but much better!”

The newspaper on the coffee table is entitled “End of Comic,” and the headline says “Goodbye!”


A.I. is COMING and will change EVERYTHING! | Patreon

Posted in Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

We Could Let In More Immigrants

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon shows two people talking as they walk through a hilly park with tall evergreens in the background. The first speaker is a woman wearing a yellow t-shirt, who has blonde hair held in a ponytail. The second speaker is a woman wearing a red hoodie who has black, spiky hair and glasses. I’ll call them PONYTAIL and SPIKEY.

Ponytail is walking in front, with Spikey following.

PANEL 1

Ponytail has a concerned expression. Spikey has a mellower expression, and is holding her hands behind her back (and does so for the entire comic strip).

PONYTAIL: I’m really worried about falling birthrates How will the economy grow with population declining?

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 2

Ponytail holds out her open palms, in a gesture of concern.

PONYTAIL: Lots of businesses already can’t find enough workers, and that’s going to get worse!

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 3

This panel shows a close-up of Ponytail, who is now in a panic, pressing her hands on the sides of her face. Spikey speaks from off panel.

PONYTAIL: Plus, America is an aging nation. We need young people to take care of us as we age!

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 4

Ponytail now has her arms crossed, still walking, and for the first time has an angry expression. Behind her, Spikey looks pretty cheesed off, too.

PONYTAIL: And I don’t want the country to get any less white.

SPIKEY: We could let in more immi… Okay, I think I see the problem here.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old, obscure, you might even say for all practical purposes dead, term for unimportant but hopefully amusing details cartoonists slip into comics.

PANEL 1: A flyer nailed to a tree says “WANTED” in large letters. There’s an image of me (the cartoonist) shrugging with “?” floating in the air next to my head, and at the bottom of the flyer it says “background gag ideas.”

There’s a patch of mushrooms growing out of the ground. The largest mushroom has a window, and leaning out the window is a rather glum looking person.

PANEL 2: An evil bunny is on the grass, smoking a cig.

A newspaper, “Background Daily,” lies on the ground. The headline says “Nation’s Headline Writers Refuse to Continue Wri”.

A teenage mutant ninja turtle – I believe this one is named Raphael – is taking a nap under a tree. Very oddly, for someone of my age who draws comics and is as nerdy as I am, this is the first time in my life I’ve drawn any of the teenage mutant ninja turtle characters.

PANEL 4

A realistic tortoise is crawling along the ground – except the tortoise has a TMNJ head, including the mask. A tiny sai is under one of its feet.


We Could Let In More Immigrants | Patreon

Posted in Immigration, Racism & Racists |