Why Democrats Lost

Cartoon by Barry


It’s another timelapse drawing video! See me change my mind about the final figure’s pose! See me make a last minute decision to add in a kicker panel! See me go through dozens of possible colors which felt to me like it took forever but in the video goes by in like a second!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, plus a small “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon. In each panel, a woman with black hair held in a ponytail, is being spoken to by a new character.

PANEL 1

An older man wearing a necktie is explaining as Ponytail listens.

MAN: It’s not the Democrats’ fault – incumbent parties worldwide got a shellacking this year.

PANEL 2

A long haired woman leans into the panel, shaking a fist angrily.

WOMAN: It’s because the Democrats denied how working class people are suffering from inflation!

PANEL 3

A woman with short black hair and glasses pushed on top of her head appears, holding up a graph to illustrate her point.

WOMAN: The economy was great! We lost because the GOP lied about crime and the economy and the media let them!

PANEL 4

A panicked older woman with white hair in a bun is holding Ponytail by the shoulders and shaking her.

WOMAN: Our ground game was so superior! The voting machines must have been rigged!

PANEL 5

An intense looking man comes in, holding a tablet in the air.

MAN: Ground game means nothing now! What matters is winning the online information war, and the Dems had nothing!

PANEL 6

A young man with messy black hair waves his hands in the air as he speaks angrily.

MAN: The Democrats spat in the bases’ faces by supporting genocide in Gaza! Of course the base stayed home!

PANEL 7

Lord Voldemort, the evil antagonist of the Harry Potter books, comes in glaring. Ponytail turns her back on him.

VOLDEMORT: It’s the fault of the transsssesss… It’s always trans’ fault… hisss!

PONYTAIL: Oh, #&*!@ off!

PANEL 8

Four more people come in, on every side of Ponytail, all barking theories at her. She looks around in confusion.

PERSON: Should’ve stuck with Biden

PERSON: Sexist racist voters

PERSON: The Cheneys

PERSON: Bitter young men

PERSON: Biden stayed in too long

PANEL 9

A bearded, grinning man wearing a necktie leans into the panel to talk to Ponytail. Ponytail facepalms.

MAN: And now that we know why we lost, we can make sure it doesn’t happen next time!

KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

The bearded man from panel 9 holds out a hand to Ponytail, palm up. Ponytail glares at him.

MAN: The first step is give us more money.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an outdated cartoonists’ term for little details that don’t matter but might amuse someone (or at least amused the cartoonist).

PANEL 1 – Ponytail has a tattoo on her arm saying “you are here.”

PANEL 3 – The back of the woman’s shirt says “My baking skills make the pope cry.”

PANEL 4 – The man appears to be Charlie Brown at age 60 or so. He’s got a tattoo of Snoopy napping on a doghouse on his arm.

The man’s tablet has small print on it which says “Scientist says that you, yes, you, are swell and smell nice. Congrats!”

PANEL 7 – The bottom of Voldemort’s wand has a screaming face on it. Some poor captured soul, or is Lord Voldemort a secret whittler?


Why Democrats Lost | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

Personal Vehicle Arms Race

Cartoon by Barry


This comic was drawn by my most frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows two characters walking together on city sidewalks, with parked cars and traffic visible in every panel. The main character, a blonde man with neat hair, a blue polo shirt, and peach shorts, is the speaker. His friend is a brown-haired woman wearing a pink sleeveless shirt and leggings. Both carry ice cream cones.

PANEL 1

The man points to a sleek little blue car parked nearby.

MAN: I used to drive a small car like that, but my husband Bill wanted me in something big to be safe from other drivers.

PANEL 2

The man clasps his hands excitedly as he thinks of a mini-truck, stars in his eyes. The background is his thought bubble, and in the bubble is an image of him driving in a cute green mini-truck. Captions surrounding the mini-truck say “less expensive” and “better gas mileage” and “easy to park.”

MAN: Then I wanted a Japanese mini-truck. But Bill said U.S. laws make it almost impossible to import a new one.

PANEL 3

The two pedestrians pause at a street corner as they chat. At the same intersection, a red SUV runs a stop sign, and a smaller SUV is cut off and has to suddenly brake.

MAN: Anyway, Bill said I need something really big! Roads nowadays are dog eat dog! To be safe I’ve gotta be the biggest dog!

PANEL 4

The two pedestrians have come to a stop. The man is smiling and waves hi at the driver of a truck which has parked there. The friend, looking up at the truck, is so startled she drops her ice cream.

The truck is enormous – probably three times the height of an adult man, and straddling at least three parking spaces. Even the headlights are above the man’s head.

In the driver’s seat, Bill, a happy looking guy with an orange beard, waves back.

MAN: And here’s Bill now!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is an old cartoonists’ expression for unimportant details that might amuse.

In panel one, a car has a license plate which says “TINY print.”

In panel two, the stuff piled in the back of the mini-truck include a dressmaker’s dummy and a rubber ducky.

In panel four, a big truck says “Stronk Boys Moving Co” on the side.

In panel three, a car has a license plate that says “DONT read me.” And the FURIOUS expression of the driver whose car was cut off is priceless.


Personal Vehicle Arms Race | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations |

Things Were So Much Better Then

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is drawn by Jenn Lee, who added so many great 1970s details!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has seven panels. Each panel shows different characters and scenes. The first six panels are all set in the 1970s.

PANEL 1

Two women lie in bed chatting and petting a cat; one of them is holding a newspaper which has the simple headline “NIXON!”

WOMAN 1: Hmm… Should I spend today waiting in line at the gas station or the unemployment office?

WOMAN 2: Gosh, they both sound so enticing!

PANEL 2

In a bar, a blue-collar looking man is waving a disco LP around angrily while drinking. Another man, in a suit and tie, smiles agreeably.

BLUE COLLAR: “Disco” music is liked by Blacks and gays and even gay Blacks! Let’s burn records and riot!

SUIT: That seems reasonable.

PANEL 3

At the counter of a 7-11 style convenience store, one that has tons of cigarettes for sale, a clerk is selling a pack of cigarettes to a ten year old girl. A boom box radio is on the countertop.

RADIO: First they let women have bank accounts, now they want to make it a crime for us to rape our own wives! Whatever happened to family values?

PANEL 4

We are looking at a large (by 1970s standards) TV, much heavier and thicker than any TV today would be. On the screen, a news reporter is reading from a script while he holds a lit cigarette in his other hand. The air around him is filled with cigarette smoke.

TV REPORTER: Our forecast says smog will be high today. So if you must leave your home, avoid unnecessary breathing.

PANEL 5

A well-off-looking man stands on the front steps of an expensive looking club, talking to a couple of reporters.

MAN: Merely because our club doesn’t allow Jews or women or Blacks or Hispanics or Orientals or gays is no reason to call us prejudiced! I consider that a slur!

PANEL 6

A bohemian-styled woman and a punk-styled man are walking together on a city sidewalk. She looks like she’s pondering something, one hand holding her chin. He is struggling with a high stack of thick hardcover books he’s carrying and has a big grin.

WOMAN: I need to look up some basic facts…

MAN: That’s why I always carry an encyclopedia!

PANEL 7

An enormous caption says DECADES LATER.

A middle-aged man sits in a chair at the barber shop, reading something on his smartphone and looking a little sad, while a barber is using clippers on the back of the man’s neck.

MAN (thought balloon): Sigh… Things were so much better when I was a kid.

1970s DETAIL WATCH

Jenn slipped in so many 1970s details to this cartoon! And she sent me this list! Take it away, Jenn:

I just realized that I have, yet again, illustrated a Barry strip that end with a grown man yearning for the way things were in his youth. For most of the 1970s I was single digit in age and am mostly glad I survived it what with riding free in the back of pickup trucks, bouncing all the way, playing in junkyards, skateboarding without a helmet and all the rest. What follows are the details I remember from that time:

PANEL 1

Wicker Headboard

As with many 1970s decor, this probably started in the later 1960s but held on in popularity for at least another decade. They were most commonly natural as seen here, or painted white.

Green walls

So many green walls, anywhere from avocado to fern.

Spider plant

Most everybody had a hanging spider plant.

Macrame plant hanger

Those and macrame wall hangings. Such great dust catchers, not unlike the wicker headboard.

Faux oil lamp electric bed lamp

Colonial touches like these were hugely popular in the run up to the U.S.A.’s Bicentennial in 1976. Anything alluding to 1776, musicals, Mr. Magoo cartoons, movies, Halloween costumes, furniture and so many decoupaged plaques of colonial America scenes with torn edges.

You also saw the outside of houses adopting decorative window shutters, porch pillars redone in the Georgian style or an eagle plaque over the door.

Pet Rocks

Rocks with painted eyes were a thing that people actually paid money for.

A digital equivalent is Tamagotchi which had a recent revival. I confess I had one decades ago that I let “die” will watching “Trainspotting” with Barry and others at Cinema 21, which seems relevant all around.

Ziggy Mug

Ziggy was a popular sad sack character that had a certain charm. He was a comforting proletarian character you could imagine hugging.

Orange comforter

Orange was a prominent color in many soft goods.

Nixon!

He was talked about for years after Watergate. Rich Little’s impressions helped that along I’m sure.

Gas lines

Not only were there gas lines, but you were only allowed to get gas on certain days depending on if your license plate ended in an even or odd number. I remember trekking a half mile in the snow to check for my mother if it was an even or an odd day based on the cars being served. (She had just gotten off a double shift as a nurse in the CCU [Cardiac Care Unit] and needed to catch up on her sleep).

PANEL 2

Wood paneled lounges and bars

I remember these all the time as restrictions on minors in these places were loose and variable.

“Animated” waterfall beer pictures

Many beer brands had these alternating light advertisements in bars, sometimes with a clock jammed in there. Fresh water of distinct source was something many beers boasted about. They were often yellowed by tobacco smoke and made a grinding noise as the mechanism simulated running water.

Disco Album

Most compilation albums of disco music featured rainbow coloration.

Blue collar worker

Actually wore blue shirts or overalls by and large.

Billy Beer

President Carter’s brother Billy was shameless in leveraging his connection to Jimmy. Absolutely not appropriate but was a fart in a hurricane in comparison to today’s indiscretions.

Mustache

Mustaches were quite a thing in the 1970s. Not so much beards.

Wide lapels and ties

Haute couture in business wear then.

Brown suits

Very common. Along with a touch of light blue, a combination I am actually fond of.

Harvey Wallbanger

An iconic 1970s cocktail will vodka, orange juice and radioactive maraschino cherries.

Red leather Padded bar edge

Classy.

PANEL 3

Convenience Stores

A little bit of everything but mostly cigarettes, candy and magazines. Overcrowded and informal, often with a spinner rack of comics and brown paper wrapped porn mags, but also easy access to Heavy Metal magazine.

Tic-Tacs

These zig-zag displays were always delightful to me. And dusty.

Portable radio

How music was streamed, along with car radios. I have a play list in Tidal called “Red Panasonic Clock Radio”  of 1970s songs I actually like. I had to explain the title to my daughter who was appalled I had no control over the music I ‘streamed’ as a kid and had no option but to endure commercials.

Tacky uniform shirt

Bright colors of a poison dart frog in polyester. Garnished with a name tag. Did not breathe and smelled funky in combination with body heat, no matter how many times it was previously washed.

Kid buying cigarettes

This was me, with a note from my mom saying I could buy cigarettes for her. Though, instead of Marlboros, she smoked Benson & Hedges Menthol 100’s Ultra Lights. Which did cost 47¢ back in the day. Though I actually usually bought a carton of 10. (Yes she was the Assistant Head Nurse of CCU. I was aware of the irony even then.)

You’ve Come a Long Way, Baby

I loved the Virginia Slim Ads that pictured back in the day versus the more liberated attitude to women smoking now. Mostly for the elaborate reconstruction of the “then” scenes.

Keep on Truckin’

Back when memes were carried through bumper stickers and t-shirts. My favorite one being a take on the Christian Bumper sticker of “My boss is a Jewish carpenter” altered to “My carpenter is a bossy Jew.”

PANEL 4

Television as furniture

Real wood casing of a bulky cathode tube TV unit where the max screen size was limited to 30 inches and color was still not the default. And no remote controls. Any channel over 13 was UHF where the public access channels lived, the equivalent to You Tube today. The fact my family had one of these beasts was due to a generous gift from my mother’s parents. Also we displayed our nativity scene on top of it every Christmas.  (The mantel for our stockings was draped over an accordion style steam heat radiator which made Santa extra magical).

Orange shag carpet

Nothing more 1970s than that. I remember ours as uncut loops.

Dried pampas grass in floor vases

A decor choice that extended into the 1980s and 1990s, only the color and treatment of the vases changed. This was another great dust collector of the time, along with aluminum vertical blinds. Lots of my memories of the 1970s involve dust.

Fuzzy toile wallpaper

Everywhere, meant to imitate velvet flocked Victorian wall paper. But was just more dust filled polyester (hat tip to Barry for this touch).

Anchor smoking on TV

Never actually happened as far as I know. But people did smoke EVERYWHERE. On line in the pharmacy, in restaurants, staff rooms, you name it. And I’m sure anchors would smoke on air if they could.

Leaded gasoline

Speaking of air borne toxins from car exhaust, there’s a theory that there were so many serial killers in the late 1960s to early 1980s due to the lead added to automobile gas to get rid of ‘knocking’ noises in car engines starting in the 1920s. With the invention of the catalytic converter in the mid 1970s, the ‘need’ for the lead was eliminated and eventually made illegal nationwide n the 1990s. (When Barry and I and others first moved to Oregon, there were still leaded gasoline pumps).

Cigarillo

A short thin cigar considered classy in the 1970s.

PANEL 5

Men’s Clubs

Were a big deal as that was the main place deals were struck in business, politics and other fields and so an important barrier to overcome for any non Anglo-Saxon male member of society.

The BO Club

I named it the BO club as a reference to Boys Only but also the Warner Bros. Cartoon Insult for body order, usually delivered after the target said something objectionable.

The adult onesie

A ridiculous piece of impractical ‘unisex’ wardrobe. The only men who made this outfit look remotely cool are the BeeGees on the cover of “Saturday Night Fever.”

Blond feathered hair

The unisex hairstyle was there for Farah Fawcett and Peter Frampton.

Tanned skin

A resurgence of the leisure class’s ability to cultivate an even and pleasing tan from the 1920s as a sign of health and natural good looks.

Female reporter

Long natural hair, bulky turtle neck in a natural color and hand written notes.

Male photographer

Bulky specialized camera, army surplus utility vest and strapped knit top. Also natural hair afro.

PANEL 6

The OG BoHo Lady

Honestly the Boho trend is a call back to the “peasant” look of the 1970s, an urban “gypsy’” with flowing hair, loosely tied hair scarf, oversized tinted sunglasses, peasant blouse, bangles and a large beaded necklace.

Metal Trash Can

Oscar the Grouch’s home, the ordinary made magical, a big theme in the the 1970s in all sorts of media.

Punk

The other proletariat movement, a more confrontational one with Mohawks, piercings, safety pins and studded black leather. Never mind the music and its anti-establishment message. But just regular folk for the most part.

Encyclopedia

From the Greek for “general education,” the pride of any home before the internet, the jumping off point for any serious research at a library. Huge double shelf volumes of varying spine widths with annual updates.

PANEL 7

Traces of retro:

Lava lamp

First a feature of the 1960s, it continued as an item prized in the 1970s and has been revived several times since.

Smiley Face sticker

First introduced in the early 1960’s, it remained popular as a prototype emoticon in the 1970s.

Flower power “Love Bug” Sticker

The first “Herbie the Love Bug” movie was released in 1969 about a sentient Volkswagen Bug with sequels throughout the 1970s. Along with “Benji” movies, following the trials and tribulations of the all American mutt.


Things Were So Much Better Then | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites |

The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, arranged so that they can be read in a clockwise circle. Each panel shows the same character – a homeless man wearing jeans, a hoodie, and a knit cap. I’ll call him “Knit.”

TOP PANEL

Knit is lying on a park bench, looking like he just woke up, and with a confused expression on his face. A cop holding a billy club stands over him.

COP: Get up! Public sleeping is now a crime. You’re going to jail.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

RIGHT HAND PANEL

Knit, looking confused and unhappy, is being kicked out of a building that has a sign over the door: “JAIL.” Knit looks confused and unhappy. We don’t see anything of the person kicking Knit out except for the shoe and leg that are doing the kicking.

KICKING GUY: You’ve served your time. Get out!

An arrow leads from that panel to:

BOTTOM PANEL

Knit, with a disappointed expression, is listening to a businessman-looking type wearing a necktie talk. The businessman has a stern expression.

BUSINESSMAN: You’ve been in jail! I’d never hire you, or rent to you.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

LEFT HAND PANEL

It’s dark out; the only light is coming from a door which has been open a crack. Knit stands in front of the door. A sign above the door says “SHELTER.” A woman inside is speaking to Knit through the crack.

WOMAN: Sorry, out of beds. Good luck.

An arrow leads from that panel back to the TOP PANEL.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for little details the cartoonist puts in which don’t matter at all, but they amused the cartoonist.

TOP PANEL: A newspaper lying on the ground, “Background Tribune,” says “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MAY HAVE WON A MILLION BUCKS!” Below that, in smaller print, it says “but probably not.”

And the bench has a little graffiti, a heart with “E + MC2” written inside it.

RIGHT HAND PANEL: Through the open door to the jail, we can see a poster on the wall, with a smiling cartoon bear wearing a guard’s cap and giving us a thumbs up. Above the bear, in large letters, it says “Protect Yourself From RSI.” In smaller letters below the bear, it says “always stretch before beating prisoners.”

One of the stones of the building’s wall is missing, and a man with a handlebar mustache is looking out nervously.

Another stone has a little barred window in it, and a mouse inside has its hands on the bars and looks out forlornly.

LEFT HAND PANEL: Woodstock from “Peanuts” is standing atop the building.


The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Social Justice |

They Walk Among Us

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all of the same scene: Two women are waiting at a bus stop, talking. One woman, who I’ll call, oh, I dunno, I’ll just randomly say CHAYA, is wearing a modest purple dress and has long brown hair. The other woman, who I’ll call HAIRCLIP, is wearing a yellow front-button shirt and blue tights. And she has a hair clip. 🙂

PANEL 1

Both women are seated on the bus stop bench. Chaya is holding her smartphone in front of Hairclip’s face; Hairclip is leaning away, taken by surprise.

CHAYA: Look at this! It’s a picture of a greeter at a children’s museum!

HAIRCLIP: Um… so?

PANEL 2

Chaya has stood and is pushing the smartphone at Hairclip, who has raised a hand to push the smartphone away. Chaya is yelling a bit.

CHAYA: Well, I think this person looks trans! Isn’t that awful? Doesn’t it make you feel panic and rage?

PANEL 3

Hairclip has stood and is chewing out Chaya, who sits back down.

HAIRCLIP: No, of course not! It’s just someone doing their job! What’s wrong with you?

PANEL 4

Hairclip stomps off angrily. Behind her, Chaya looks happy, even serene, as she looks at her smartphone screen.

HAIRCLIP (thought): Jerk! Good thing no one would listen to a clown like that.

A large arrow-shaped caption points at Chaya. The caption says “3.5 million followers.”

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for amusing but unnecessary details the cartoonist puts into the cartoon.

In this cartoon, there’s an ad on the public bench they’re sitting on. No single panel shows the whole bench, but if you look at all of them you can determine that the ad says “#1 New York Times Bestseller I HAVE BEEN SILENCED!, with an image of the guy from this cartoon.

The bus stop sign has an image of a rocket ship instead of a bus.

In panel 4, a newspaper is lying on the ground. The newspaper is called “Background Post.” The headline says “TRAGIC!,” and the subhead says “Artist fails to leave enuf room for text, nation mourns.”


They Walk Among Us | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

AI is coming and will change EVERYTHING!

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon was drawn by Nadine Scholtes.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a difference scene.

PANEL 1

A large caption at the top of the panel says “PITCH.”

The image shows a woman speed-walking while walking her dog. In the background, a homeless man sits against a wall reading a newspaper. The woman is wearing headphones, and a speech balloon points to the headphones.

HEADPHONES: Artificial Intelligence is almost here – and it’s gonna rock your world!

PANEL 2

A woman sits at a table scattered with board game pieces and reads a manual. In the background, a TV is on, and a slick-looking blonde man wearing a suit and tie is grinning and lifting his arms high in excitement.

MAN ON TV: Get ready! Your personal A.I. will do everything for you! Tax returns! Therapy! Pet care! Foot massages!

PANEL 3

Inside someone’s apartment. There’s no human in sight, but there is a dog and a cat. On the sofa is an open laptop, and on the laptop’s screen a blonde pitchwoman is grinning. The dog sits watching the laptop, tail wagging.

PITCHWOMAN: With Artificial Intelligence, no one will ever be sad or lonely again! A.I. is life!

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of this panel says “REALITY.”

A young guy sits with his feet up on the sofa and his cat beside him. He’s reading his smartphone. A caption shows us what’s on his smartphone.

SMARTPHONE: A.I. powered toenail clippers $179.00

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is cartoonist slang for unnecessary (but hopefully amusing) details slipped into the cartoon. (You can stop reading now if you’re not interested.)

PANEL 1

The homeless man also has a dog, a cute little dog with a big white mustache – probably a schnauzer? The dog has a weary expression as it watches the bigger dog walking past.

The big dog walking past looks kind of snooty, and is wearing sunglasses.

There’s graffiti on the wall behind the homeless man. The graffiti says, respectively: “Steve.” “Sondheim.” “Lovett + Todd 4ever.” “Nice is different than good.” and “Withers wither with her.” Those are all references to the musicals of Stephen Sondheim. There’s also “BG,” which stands for “background.”

The homeless man’s newspaper is called “Background Tribune.” The headline says “Capybara to Rule World.” The sub headline says “‘It’s time for the grown-ups to take charge’ says adorable rodent.”

PANEL 2

The thick book the woman is reading is entitled “The Overly Complex Board Game Directions (vol 3 of 12)”. Parts scattered on the table include tokens, chips, six-sided dice, a twenty-sided die, a rook (the chess piece), an hourglass timer, playing cards, and a rubric’s cube.

On the TV, a chyron at the bottom of the screen says “Man loses sight from reading tiny print.”

PANEL 3

Apparently the pets have wrecked this apartment – the wallpaper is torn, the cat has done serious damage to the leg of the sofa, and there’s a urine puddle near the dog. The cat is sitting on the windowsill staring at a small bird on the other side of the window, who is sticking its tongue out at the cat and doing the thumbs-on-ears gesture that accompanies the tongue, as well as it can manage since it has wings.

PANEL 4

The cat is sitting like a human on its butt, back leaning against a cushion, with a bowl of food lying on its tummy. (I love this cat! 100% made up by Nadine.)

A magazine on the coffee table is entitled “Rich Pretty People.” The magazine shows a beautiful woman in a fancy gown with dollar bills falling down around her. The caption at the bottom of the cover says “They’re just like you but much better!”

The newspaper on the coffee table is entitled “End of Comic,” and the headline says “Goodbye!”


A.I. is COMING and will change EVERYTHING! | Patreon

Posted in Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

We Could Let In More Immigrants

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon shows two people talking as they walk through a hilly park with tall evergreens in the background. The first speaker is a woman wearing a yellow t-shirt, who has blonde hair held in a ponytail. The second speaker is a woman wearing a red hoodie who has black, spiky hair and glasses. I’ll call them PONYTAIL and SPIKEY.

Ponytail is walking in front, with Spikey following.

PANEL 1

Ponytail has a concerned expression. Spikey has a mellower expression, and is holding her hands behind her back (and does so for the entire comic strip).

PONYTAIL: I’m really worried about falling birthrates How will the economy grow with population declining?

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 2

Ponytail holds out her open palms, in a gesture of concern.

PONYTAIL: Lots of businesses already can’t find enough workers, and that’s going to get worse!

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 3

This panel shows a close-up of Ponytail, who is now in a panic, pressing her hands on the sides of her face. Spikey speaks from off panel.

PONYTAIL: Plus, America is an aging nation. We need young people to take care of us as we age!

SPIKEY: We could let in more immigrants.

PANEL 4

Ponytail now has her arms crossed, still walking, and for the first time has an angry expression. Behind her, Spikey looks pretty cheesed off, too.

PONYTAIL: And I don’t want the country to get any less white.

SPIKEY: We could let in more immi… Okay, I think I see the problem here.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old, obscure, you might even say for all practical purposes dead, term for unimportant but hopefully amusing details cartoonists slip into comics.

PANEL 1: A flyer nailed to a tree says “WANTED” in large letters. There’s an image of me (the cartoonist) shrugging with “?” floating in the air next to my head, and at the bottom of the flyer it says “background gag ideas.”

There’s a patch of mushrooms growing out of the ground. The largest mushroom has a window, and leaning out the window is a rather glum looking person.

PANEL 2: An evil bunny is on the grass, smoking a cig.

A newspaper, “Background Daily,” lies on the ground. The headline says “Nation’s Headline Writers Refuse to Continue Wri”.

A teenage mutant ninja turtle – I believe this one is named Raphael – is taking a nap under a tree. Very oddly, for someone of my age who draws comics and is as nerdy as I am, this is the first time in my life I’ve drawn any of the teenage mutant ninja turtle characters.

PANEL 4

A realistic tortoise is crawling along the ground – except the tortoise has a TMNJ head, including the mask. A tiny sai is under one of its feet.


We Could Let In More Immigrants | Patreon

Posted in Immigration, Racism & Racists |

Electoral College Confessions!

Cartoon by Barry


Check out the timelapse drawing video for this cartoon!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon. All four panels feature two characters who are walking through a park and talking.

The first character is a woman with dark hair pulled back in a ponytail, wearing a red tank top and jeans. Let’s call her TANKTOP. The second character is a businessman-looking man, wearing round glasses and a blue suit. Let’s call him SUIT.

PANEL 1

Tanktop and Suit are walking though a hilly park. Tanktop looks a little angry and is lecturing Suit, who seems calmer. Suit is walking in front of Tanktop, so he’s facing away from her.

TANKTOP: Conservatives say we need the Electoral College so small states won’t be ignored – but since the ten smallest states aren’t swing states, the Electoral
College guarantees they get ignored!

SUIT: I’m so sick of this argument.

PANEL 2

A close up of Suit, who is looking very annoyed.

SUIT: IT’s true our arguments for the Electoral College make zero sense! And they’re anti-Democracy! Who cares? It doesn’t matter if we make sense!

PANEL 3

An even closer close-up of Suit, who finally turns back to look at Tanktop as he speaks. His expression is angry and intense.

SUIT: With the Electoral College, we can lose the vote and still win the presidency! We will never let voters decide, because then we’d have less power, and power is all we care about! How do you not know that?

PANEL 4

Suit has turned away from Tanktop again and the two continue walking. Both of them have returned to speaking in ordinary tones, although Tanktop still looks annoyed.

TANKTOP: I did know, but I’m shocked you’re saying it aloud.

SUIT: Well, don’t forget this is a cartoon.

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Suit is talking to Barry the Cartoonist.

SUIT: I will never, ever, ever turn against the Electoral College! Unless Texas turns blue.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an outdated cartoonists’ term for little details in a comic that don’t mean anything but are hopefully fun.

PANEL 1: Beaker from the Muppets is peeking out of a hole in a tree.

A sign in the background says “KEEP OFF THE GRASS (ink may smear).”

PANEL 2: A bird flying in the background has a cat head. (In the sense of its own head being feline, not in the sense that it’s carrying a decapitated cat’s head).

PANEL 4: An evil bunny smoking a cigarette is sticking its head out of a hole in the ground. In the foreground, a friendly looking pig wearing a fedora is glancing out towards the readers. On the path, a bored looking snail is on top of a tiny skateboard, and an ant is riding on top of the snail.

In panel one, Tanktop’s tattoo was a coffee mug with a smiley face on it. In this panel, the coffee mug has fallen on its side, spilling coffee, and the face on the mug is distressed.


Electoral College Confession! | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Elections |

Why We Say “As A Jew”

Cartoon by Barry


This comic was drawn by Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same two women having an argument on a grassy area of a college campus (we can see a definitely collegiate brick building in the background). Both of them look like college students.

The student on the left has wavy green hair and is wearing a dark tank top with ripped armholes and collar and a drawing of a possum skull on the front. She has a septum piercing and is wearing leather boots.

The student on the right has wavy brunette hair and is rather nattily dressed in a blue sweater vest over a pink front-button shirt, rectangular glasses, and heeled boots.

Let’s call these two GREENIE and GLASSES.

PANEL 1

Greenie talks to Glasses with an earnest expression; Glasses has turned away from Greenie with her arms crossed, and looks annoyed.

GREENIE: I am Jewish, and as a Jew, I think what Israel’s doing is horr-

GLASSES: “As a Jew.” Hah! You know why anti-Israel Jews always say they’re speaking “as a Jew”?

PANEL 2

Greenie spreads her arm in an “explainy” sort of way, but it cut off by Glasses, who turns to face her, with an angry expression and pointing a finger accusingly at Greenie.

GREENIE: Because-

GLASSES: You say it because you want to tokenize yourself! You use being Jewish as a way to slander your people.

PANEL 3

A shot from Greenie’s POV, showing Glasses leaning forward, a furious expression on her face, pointing straight at the viewer like Uncle Sam in the “wants you” poster.

GLASSES: You “AsAJew” types are cosplay Jews! You’re modern day kapos giving comfort to the enemy! You’re the Jew who turns in other Jews to the Nazis because you hope you’ll be spared! And that’s why you said “as a Jew!”

PANEL 4

A large caption at the top of the panel says “A MINUTE EARLIER.”

Greenie is looking annoyed, arms akimbo, as she listens to Glasses, who is declaiming with one pointer finger held high in the air.

GLASSES: You wouldn’t say that if you were Jewish!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In panel one, on a tree in the background, a squirrel with a tiny blue backpack is crouched on a branch. In panel two, the squirrel has launched itself into the air, and the backpack has unfurled a blue parachute. In panel four – which takes place before panel one – we see the squirrel back in the tree, poking its head out of a hole.

There’s a newspaper lying on the ground near Glasses’ feet. The name of the newspaper is “Background Daily.” In panel one, the front page says “This repeats three times in this comic. No need to read the other ones!” In panel two, it says “seriously you can stop reading this.” And in panel four, it says “This headline takes place before panel one.”


Why We Say “As A Jew” | Patreon


Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Imperialism & War |

Objective Journalism is Coming! Objective Journalism is Coming!

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show a Massachusetts street in 1775.

PANEL 1

This panel shows Paul Revere riding a galloping horse down a street, yelling “The British Are Coming!” (Revere yells this, not the horse). He’s riding hard, and mice are scattering to avoid being run over.

REVERE: The British are coming!

PANEL 2

Revere, sweating from his hard ride, has dismounted and come to a halt, and is talking to a JOURNALIST. The journalist is dressed in a period suit and leaning against the side of a building, but he also has a piece of paper saying “press” sticking out of his hat. He’s looking at his smart phone.

REVERE: A journalist? Perfect! The British army is coming by way of the Charles River!

JOURNALIST: I can’t report that. You’re a revolutionary. What you say isn’t objective.

PANEL 3

The journalist has put his arm around Revere’s shoulders and is grinning as he holds out his phone to take a selfie. Revere looks very annoyed, arms crossed, face facing the camera but eyes glaring at the journalist.

REVERE: But what I’m saying is TRUTH! The British are attacking!

JOURNALIST: You’re in the group they’re attacking. That makes you too biased to quote.

PANEL 4

Revere raises his hands in a frustrated gesture. The journalist, smiling, points at Revere.

REVERE: No one even knows about this but us and them! Will you not report this at all?

JOURNALIST: No, I’ll report whatever the British say. People in power are never biased.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a ye olden days cartoonists’ expression for little details in a cartoon that don’t matter but might be amusing.

PANEL 1: A man in a nightshirt is leaning out of a background window waving to Revere.

There are mice scattering from the road to avoid being trampled. The mice are Izzy (from The Simpsons), the Brain (from Animaniacs, Minnie Mouse, and Jerry (from Tom and Jerry).

PANEL 2: The journalist is scrolling on a smart phone.

Garfield and Odie, from the Garfield comic strip, are in the background – Garfield is sitting on a fence reading a newspaper (Ye Olden Times Background Times”) and Odie is peeking out through a window.

The back page of the newspaper has a huge headline saying “Ben Franklin and Beyonce Sex Scandal,” and smaller text (so distorted by the angle that it’s basically impossible to read) says: “Even ignoring chronology problems, she is just way out of his league,” says puzzled historian.”

The front page of the newspaper has three stories. The first headline says “Hamilton Not Yet Famous,” and the story says: “Just you wait until Broadway exists,” says unknown nerd. The second headline says “New Tea Party In N Jersey,” and the story says “nobody notices or cares.” The third headline says “Political Cartoons Relevant & Popular,” and the story says: “And that’s something that will never change,” say confident cartoonists.

PANEL 3

The journalist is taking a selfie, and the horse, grinning, is positioning herself to be included in the selfie.

PANEL 4

The horse is holding the journalist’s hat in her mouth.

In the background, two sleek cats can be seen in a window; one of them is licking the window with apparent enjoyment.


Objective Journalism Is Coming! Objective Journalism is Coming! | Patreon

Posted in Media criticism, Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

The Birth Rate is Always a Crisis

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon. Each of the four panels show the same two people taking on a sidewalk. The first is a woman with short black hair, wearing an open yellow shirt over a light orange shirt, and knee-length purple shorts. The second is a young man with reddish brown hair parted in the middle, dressed more conservatively in a button-down men’s shirt tucked into blue pants. Let’s call these two SHORTS and PANTS.

PANEL 1

Shorts is walking down the sidewalk when she’s startled by Pants, who is waving his arms around and yelling.

PANTS: Teenagers having babies is a crisis! A catastrophe!

PANEL 2

The two of them talk calmly, Shorts making a “just explaining things” hand gesture, and Pants looking a little surprised and worrying his fingers.

SHORTS: Actually, the birthrate among teens has been plummeting for years.

PANTS: Really?

PANEL 3

A shot from over Pants’ shoulder, as he peers at the screen of Shorts’ smartphone, which she’s holding out to show him.

On screen, we are looking at a website with the “CDC” logo, and the headline “TEEN BIRTH RATE REACHES ANOTHER HISTORIC LOW.

PANTS: Hmmm

PANEL 4

Pants rears back, hands clasped to his head, a huge expression of panic on his face. Shorts, still holding up her smartphone, rolls her eyes.

PANTS: Gasp! The birthrate is down! This is a CRISIS! A CATASTROPHE!

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON.

Pants is talking to Barry (the cartoonist). Pants looks stern, with his arms crossed.

PANTS: Whatever the birthrate is, people need to know women are doing it wrong!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

In ye olden days, when cartoonists stuck in irrelevant details for fun, the term for that was “chicken fat.” Nowadays we call this “easter eggs.” Apparently the term for this must always relate to poultry.

PANEL 1: A shifty-looking bunny, smoking a cigarette, is peering out from behind a tree.

A newspaper littering the ground, with a masthead saying “Daily Background,” has the headline “Cartoonist Subsidy Bill Passes!” and a subheadline saying “‘About damn time’ –Nation.” The photo accompanying the story shows a happy cartoonist who looks kinda like me holding a huge bag with $ written on the bag.

A scrap of paper on the ground says “Good people read this.” So there, don’t go saying I’ve never said anything nice about you.

A rat is napping in the gutter. One of the rat’s paws rests on an open bottle with a label saying “X,” but using the logo of the company that used to be Twitter.

PANEL 2: On the side of the tree, a realistically drawn squirrel is staring face-to-face with Woodstock from “Peanuts.”

PANEL 3: On the CDC’s website, there are two smaller stories at the bottom of the smartphone screen. The first says “Poll: Americans want Scientists & Government to Pretend Covid is Over.” with the subheadline “‘We don’t want to know. Anyway, what harm could it do?’ says public.”

The second story says “Study: Most Studies In Tiny Print Don’t Actually Exist.” And the subheadline says “Headlines like this one are just cartoonists making stuff up to fill in backgrounds.”

In the lower left corner of the panel, a little man, with blue skin and a purple mohawk, sits on the panel border grinning at the reader. He has a sign which says “I’m not relevant.”

PANEL 4: A bird flying in the background is wearing an eyepatch.

PANELS 1, 2 and 4: In panel 1, the tattoo on Shorts’ forearm shows an unhappy young person with big hair. In panel 2, the same tattoo shows the person with shorter hair, some brow wrinkles, and a still sad expression. In panel 4, the tattoo person is now bald and old, but has a happy expression.


The Birth Rate is Always a Crisis | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Health care |

Election Year, Squishy Progressive Style

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon is a twelve-panel grid, with each panel labeled in large letters at the top with a month – January, February, and so forth. For this transcript, rather than labeling the panels “panel 1” and so on, I’ll use the name of the month.

In addition, there’s a tiny kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon. Each panel shows the same character – a fat dude with round glasses, a circle beard (the name for “a chin strap and a mustache that meet to form a circle”), and dark hair held in a short pony tail. Put another way, it’s my self-caricature, so I’ll call this dude “Barry.”

JANUARY

Barry, wearing a long black coat and a scarf, is standing on a sidewalk yelling to the sky, his hands clutched in fists.

BARRY: The Democrats are sell-outs!

FEBRUARY

Barry stands outside, wearing a heavy coat with a hood and (again) a scarf. It’s snowing hard. Barry’s arms are crossed and he has a “don’t try talking to me, I already know everything” expression.

BARRY: They’re owned by corporations, just like the GOP!

MARCH

Barry is wearing a Hawaiian shirt with a floral patter over a black t-shirt. He looks angry and is waving a fist in the air.

BARRY: F#&@! the Democrats!

APRIL

Barry is talking into the phone, smirking a little.

BARRY: Democrats want my money? I’d rather donate to cancer.

MAY

Barry is explaining something to a somewhat impatient looking friend (or maybe just an unfortunate person who wound up at the same bus stop, who knows?).

BARRY: We so desperately need a third party!

JUNE

Barry is standing in a living-room type room; there’s a window in the background, and an armchair. Barry’s talking on the phone, a concerned expression on his face.

BARRY: Yes, Republicans winning would be a disaster.

JULY

Barry sits at a table, head resting on his palm, looking at an open laptop.

BARRY (thought): Actually, the Dem candidates are pretty good. On some issues.

AUGUST

Barry is standing outside, in front of a stone wall lined with flower boxes on top, talking to a friend (or, again, maybe just an unlucky passerby). Barry has both arms raised in the air jubilantly.

BARRY: I still hate them but I really like them!

SEPTEMBER

Barry stands looking pensively out a window.

BARRY: Hate? Like? Hate? Like?

OCTOBER

Hi, I’m a volunteer for the Democrats. Have you made a plan for voting?

NOVEMBER

Barry, looking extremely anxious, is standing and looking at a computer monitor, hands pressed against the sides of his face, sweating.

BARRY (thought): Please please let the Dems win…

DECEMBER

Barry is walking on a sidewalk past a hillside. It’s dark out, and Barry is wearing a long coat and a scarf again. He’s talking on his cell phone with an angry expression.

BARRY: God, I hate the Democrats!

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

A woman is talking to Barry.

WOMAN: So you’re saying hypocrisy is bad?

BARRY: Sorta bad, sorta useful.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an old cartoonist’s expression for unimportant but possibly amusing details the cartoonist sticks into the art.

JANUARY: A flyer taped to the wall shows a glaring bunny with a cigarette dangling out of its mouth. The text says “BEWARE evil bunny.”

FEBRUARY: A snowman in the background appears to be a snow alien, with three eyes and two antenna.

MARCH: Barry’s t-shirt has a picture of the evil bunny, surrounded by letters that say “evil bunny 1968 world tour.” Barry has a tattoo on his arm which says “I Have No Tattoos.”

JUNE: A man wearing a black fedora is peering in the window at Barry. On the wall is a framed picture of the evil bunny. A cat sits in the armchair, slouching like a human and looking at a smartphone it’s holding in its front paws.

AUGUST: Barry’s t-shirt has a drawing of the Death Star from “Star Wars,” and under the Death Star is a caption saying “Cici n’est pas une lune.” This is a real t-shirt that was described to me by Packy Anderson in the comments of a previous cartoon.

SEPTEMBER: Barry’s t-shirt has the planet logo from the covers of the “Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy” book series.

OCTOBER: Barry’s t-shirt says “your ad here.” The place on the back of the laptop where the manufacturer’s logo usually goes has a picture of Saturn.

NOVEMBER: Barry’s arm has a tattoo of Beaker from the Muppets. I’ve snuck Beaker into a lot of my cartoons because I just like him.

DECEMBER: A bird in the air in the background has Richard Nixon’s head instead of a bird head. A piece of paper lying on the sidewalk says “Last Panel. Phew! 12 panels is a lot.” And in the background, near a tree, is the evil bunny, smoking a cigarette.


Election Year, Squishy Progressive Style | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

A Concise History of Keeping The Immigrants Out

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is drawn by Becky Hawkins.

Click here to read Becky’s post about drawing this cartoon, and to see some of the reference photos she used!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a different scene in a different era.

PANEL 1

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: 1871

Two wealthy-looking white Victorian men, middle aged and elderly aged, are sitting in armchairs in front of a fireplace in what looks like an expensive men’s club. One holds a glass of liquor, the other a cigar, as they talk to each other. In the background is a server with red hair, holding a tray with a bottle and glasses on it, and looking annoyed.

RICH GUY 1: We can’t let just anybody immigrate! The Irish are lazy and stupid!

RICH GUY 2: Better Irish than Chinese. I say keep ’em all out!

PANEL 2

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: 1939

Two white women walk along the boardwalk. One woman is wearing a floppy hat, pearls, and a light purple dress, and is carrying a green umbrella to shield herself from the sun. The other woman is wearing a green sash and turban over a tan pantsuit. The second woman is pointing out to the ocean, where we can see a large ship which might be the MS St Louis.

SASH WOMAN: Even if Nazis are killing Jews – and we all know Jews lie – why is that our problem? We can’t afford thousands of Jews leeching off the rest of us!

PANEL 3

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: TODAY

Two white women are walking through a park. One is wearing a broad hat, shorts, and carrying a backpack; the other is wearing a pink visor, and carrying a water bottle. In the background, a brown-skinned man carrying gardening shears watches them, not looking visibly annoyed but definitely aware of what they’re saying.

BACKPACK WOMAN: Central American “refugees” don’t want to work – they come here to live off welfare and crime!

PANEL 4

CAPTION AT TOP OF PANEL: 2146

Two people with ambiguous gender are standing. They’re wearing some sort of hover shoes, so they’re actually floating about a foot above the ground, with a yellow haze shooting out the bottom of their shoes. One is wearing a blue onesie with a wide futuristic looking yellow collar, along with a yellow hat and a fanny pack in front; the other is wearing a shawl over a crop top with lace trim, and a long green cargo skirt. The woman with the shawl is rudely pointing at a few obvious aliens (with tentacles instead of legs, gray skin, and huge black eyes) who are just a couple of feet away. One alien holds a map, which both of them are looking at, while the other is holding an alien baby.

LACE TOP WOMAN: Immigrants in the old days became good Americans. But these so-called “refugees” are lazy criminals! I say keep ’em out!


A Concise History of Keeping The Immigrants Out | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

The Objective New York Times

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A woman with glasses and short dark hair is leaning down to look at a rack of copies of The New York Times paper edition. Standing on top of the pile of newspapers is an andromorphized cartoon issue of The New York Times, with a big grin, cartoon dot eyes, and black arms leading to three-fingered hands in white gloves, a la Mickey Mouse.

WOMAN: Hi, New York Times! What’s in the news today?

NEW YORK TIMES: Elections! The Republican candidate says if elected he’ll end democracy and rainbows!

PANEL 2

The woman has picked up the New York Times and is looking at it as the New York Times cheerfully continues talking, raising a forefinger to make a point, it’s adorable little feet kicking in the air.

NEW YORK TIMES: He also said that if not elected, that would prove Democrats cheated and he won’t accept the result.

PANEL 3

A shot of just the New York Times, still talking cheerfully, its arms folded.

NEW YORK TIMES: In equally important news, the Democratic candidate still hasn’t accepted my request for an in-depth interview. GOP sources suggest this could be because she’s a scaredy-cat.

PANEL 4

Now placed in a public garbage can, the New York Times is still cheerfully prattling on. The woman appears to have left entirely.

NEW YORK TIMES: Don’t miss today’s four op-eds about this important story!

NEW YORK TIMES (thought balloon): Oh my gosh, I’m killing it today! Just listen to how objective I’m being!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead cartoonists’ term for unimportant but hopefully amusing details stuck into a cartoon.

Panel 1: The woman has a tattoo on her upper arm with a drawing of the famous pipe from René Magritte’s painting “The Treachery of Images,” but instead of saying “this is not a pipe” the caption says “this is not a tattoo.”

On the newsstand in the background, there are some magazines on display. Three magazines have the titles “This,” “That,” and “the Other,” and two more are entitled “Here” and “and There.” All the magazines feature a head-and-shoulders photo of a model, but on the cover to “the Other” the model is Snoopy in his “Joe Cool” get-up.

Panel 2: The woman’s arm tattoos have changed, almost as if this was easier for the artist than keeping the designs consistent would have been. :-p

Panel 3: At the bottom of the New York Times, a headline says “Weather,” and the smaller text below that says “yes there will be weather.”

Panel 4: There are two fliers taped to the wall in the background. One has a picture of a scowling penguin, with “PENGUINS” in big letters and in smaller lettering below that “secretly hate you.” The other flyer has a confused looking man looking out, and a big caption saying “BIG.” A smaller caption says “SMALL,” and a tiny caption below that says “tiny.”

Hanging out of the trash can is a flier that says “LOST” in big letters. The smaller print says “was a really good TV show that didn’t have an ending.”


The Objective New York Times | Patreon

Posted in Media criticism |

Announcing My New A.I. Comics Initiative!

Cartoon by Barry


Check out this sped-up video of me drawing this cartoon!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This comic has four panels, each showing the same two characters. There’s a woman with long brown hair, a circle shaped earring, a black shirt and a red skirt. And there’s a fat guy with round glasses and dark hair tied in a ponytail, and he’s a caricature of me, Barry, the cartoonist. The two of them are talking in an outdoor park like environment.

PANEL 1

Barry is seated behind a desk that’s on a grassy hillside. He’s speaking directly to the reader with a big grin on his face and his arms spread wide. Nearby, the woman looks skeptical, as she pokes at a panel border.

BARRY: Announcing my new A.I. comics initiative! This comic is entirely drawn by A.I.!

WOMAN: Are you sure? It doesn’t look like A.I.

PANEL 2

Barry, grinning too big and looking like a nervous salesman, sweat flying off, holds out his hands. His hands look very gross, with many extra fingers.

BARRY: Uh… This is A.I.! Honest! Just look at my hideous hands!

BARRY: Are you listening, Colin Kaepernick? It’s yours for only three million dollars! Whatta bargain!

PANEL 3

The woman talks to Barry, holding up a palm in an “explaining my point” gesture. Barry, in response, holds up a hand in a “talk to the hand” gesture and turns away from her, his other hand on his forehead.

WOMAN: Couldn’t human cartoonists do the same work much better?

BARRY: Boring! Old! Not “disruptive!”

PANEL 4

The woman turns away from Barry, glaring down at a thick magazine about A.I. Art. Barry grins and holds his fisted hands to his chin in a “bursting with hope” sort of gesture. From the side, where Barry isn’t looking, a crude robot caricature of Barry has rolled onto panel. It’s holding up a four-panel comic strip.

WOMAN: It sounds like you’re selling out.

BARRY: Heck yeah! I just hope I can cash in before A.I. replaces me.

ROBOT BARRY: Hi there.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is an old-fashioned cartoonists’ expression for little unimportant but hopefully fun details we put into cartoons. There’s a lot of chicken fat this time!

PANEL 1

In the foreground, there are a bunch of mushrooms growing from the ground, one of which has the caterpillar from Alice in Wonderland on it, smoking from a large glass bong.

A gray-skinned Richard Nixon is popping up from a hole in the ground.

The woman’s earring is a yellow smiley face with red splattered over one eye, the icon of the “Watchmen” comic book.

PANEL 2

Among Barry’s many, many fingers is one that has a smiling face on the end. And one that’s a banana. And one that looks like the monster from “Alien,” with a smaller mouth extending out of the larger mouth.

Although all other panels show a cloudy day, in this panel the sky is clear blue and we can see the sun. The sun has a face and is scowling at Barry.

Barry’s t-shirt, which was black in the previous panel, has turned read. Words on the front of the shirt say “ME. © me 2024.”

PANEL 3

The woman’s skirt, which had a plaid pattern in panel 1, now has a polka dot pattern.

Barry’s t-shirt has changed again and now has an illustration of Bugs Bunny on it.

The woman’s round earring now has Charlie Brown’s face on it.

Barry has a third arm, which is holding an ice cream cone (one scoop of ice cream has fallen onto the sidewalk).

The woman’s hair is merging with a tree in the background.

A newspaper lying on the sidewalk, named “Background Tribune,” has a big headline which says “Litterbug Strikes Panel Three!”

PANEL 4

The woman’s skirt pattern has changed again, and is now a squared-off spiral pattern.

Her earring has changed again, and is now the face of Jack from the movie “The Nightmare Before Christmas.”

Barry’s t-shirt has changed again, and is now a drawing of a hammer in a yellow circle, which was the superhero character “Captain Hammer’s” logo in the web musical “Dr. Horrible’s Sing-Along Blog.”

The woman is holding a very thick magazine called “A.I. Art Daily.” The cover has a picture of a happy stick figure with three eyes and way too many fingers. There are two headlines: “Glossy surfaces are all art needs” and “Rainforests will not be missed.”

The comic strip the robot is holding is actually this comic strip.


Announcing My New A.I. Initiative! | Patreon

Posted in Economic cartoons |

Door to Door Policy Salesman

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show the same scene and the same two characters. We are outside a middle-class looking house, looking at the front door. The door is open, and a 1950s-housewife-looking woman, with a bouffant hairdo and a green dress, is standing in the doorway. She’s talking to a man in a gray suit, with a matching fedora, carrying a brown suitcase.

We’ll call these two characters “Housewife” and “Salesman.”

In addition to the four panels, there’s a tiny “kicker” panel under the bottom of the strip.

PANEL 1

The salesman stands talking to the housewife, one hand outspread in a friendly fashion. The housewife looks nervous and has a hand resting on her chest in an “oh my” gesture.

SALESMAN Good morning, ma’am. I’m a door to door domestic policy salesman, and–

HOUSEWIFE: I’m sorry, we just can’t afford anything.

PANEL 2

The salesman, smiling in a friendly way, is holding his case out and open to display his wares. The housewife turns her head away, holding up one palm in a “no no no” gesture.

SALESMAN: But I’ve got universal health care. Very popular – lots of nations have it.

HOUSEWIFE: No no. We could never afford anything like that.

PANEL 3

Warming to his own sales pitch, the salesman is jubilantly holding a bunch of pamphlets, raising some of them towards the sky. The housewife looks very flustered.

SALESMAN: I’ve got policies for your kids that’ll save you money in the long run. Universal pre-K, lead removal…

HOUSEWIFE: Oh, gosh no. We couldn’t afford anything like that.

PANEL 4

The salesman, looking disappointed, has turned away and is looking at his pamphlets to see what else he can offer. Behind him, the housewife is smiling big with an excited expression, and holding two huge bags of money (we know it’s money because the bags are labeled ” $ “) to offer the salesman.

SALESMAN: Hmm… I’ve also got a big increase in policing and prisons. But it’s expen-”

HOUSEWIFE (very large font): WE’LL TAKER IT!

TINY “KICKER” PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

A similar but different salesman (gray hair, brown fedora) is speaking to the same housewife, as he raises his hat in greeting. The housewife is eager, and her eye is drawn as a heart.

SALESMAN: Good morning, ma’am. I’m a door to door war salesman.

HOUSEWIFE: Just give me a sec to mortgage my house.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obscure and outdated cartoonist expression for meaningless but hopefully entertaining details in a cartoon. This cartoon has two pieces of chicken fat:

Panel 1: A balding man is peering over a fence in the background.

Panel 3: On the lawn in the background, a rat, wearing pink cats-eye sunglasses, is sunbathing lying on a rat-sized outdoor chaise lounge.


Door to Door Policy Salesman | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, Economic cartoons, Health care, Right-wingers |

Transphobes Are The Real Victims

Cartoon by Barry


Once again, there’s a timelapse drawing video! Go watch me change my mind again… and again… and again!


Transphobes Are The Real Victims | Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

Conan vs Copyright

Cartoon by Barry


This cartoon was drawn by Nadine Scholtes.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows Conan the Barbarian, a shirtless, muscular barbarian dude with long hair, in a desert. He is carrying an axe and a shield.

PANEL 1

Conan, mounted on his drake (drakes are a kind of dragon; this one has four limbs and no wings), is under attack. Arrows fly through the air at him, and a couple of arrows are stuck in the shield that Conan has raised defensively. The drake has a panicked expression as it speaks.

DRAKE: Conan, we’re surrounded! What will we do?

CONAN: We will kill or we will die.

VOICE FROM OFF PANEL: STOP!

PANEL 2

Conan, carrying his axe, has gotten off his drake and is walking towards a new character, a man wearing glasses and a modern suit and tie. The main is reading off a piece of paper he’s holding. We’ll just call this character “LAWYER,” since that’s what he is.

LAWYER: On behalf of Conan Properties International, this is a cease and desist letter. You do not have permission to create this comic strip.

CONAN: Wrong, fool! I’m public domain in this country!

PANEL 3

With a smug expression, the Lawyer holds up the piece of paper for Conan to read. Conan leans down to read it, rubbing his chin thoughtfully.

LAWYER: Even if that’s so, we’ll still sue, and proving your case would take years and bankrupt you. That’s why we always win.

CONAN: Hmm…. I’ve got an idea.

PANEL 4

Conan is holding the lawyer’s decapitated head in one hand. Blood drips out of the bottom of the lawyer’s neck, and we can see his headless body lying on the ground in the background. In Conan’s other hand is a bloody axe, which Conan is dropping in surprise.

The lawyer speaks, an annoyed expression on his face. Conan reacts with shock and fear.

LAWYER: This really isn’t helping your case.

CONAN: By Crom! How are you STILL talking?

LAWYER: I’m a lawyer.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is an old-fashioned cartoonist expression for what we might now call “Easter Eggs”: unimportant but hopefully amusing details the cartoonist sticks in.

In panel 1, one of the arrows that has landed on the ground appears to have a love letter wrapped around it.

In panel 2, the Drake is suddenly wearing a watch, which it checks impatiently.

In panel 4, the Drake is fearfully making a cross with its forefingers. Also, a vulture has shown up and is eyeing the corpse; the vulture is wearing a napkin tied around its neck.


Conan vs Copyright | Patreon

Posted in Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

Swing Voters

Cartoon by Barry


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each of which shows a different scene with different characters. Each panel is marked with a caption at the top: Academic, Pundit, Regular Voters, and Swing Voters.

PANEL 1

CAPTION: ACADEMIC

A professorial type, in a vest and tie, is seating behind a desk. There’s a wooden bookcase in the background, and a couple of “in and out” style boxes on his desk piled with papers.

PROFESSOR: There are relatively few so-called “swing voters” – but they decide elections! In a sense, swing voters are the real rulers of the country!

PANEL 2

CAPTION: PUNDIT

We are looking at a flatscreen TV. On the TV, a well-dressed woman in a pale blue jacket over a red blouse is smiling and talking to us. The screen graphics (a channel 4 logo, a US flag design shaped like the US) make this look like some sort of news program.

PUNDIT: Winning elections is all about giving swing voters what they want! And by some coincidence, what swing voters want matches what I want! As my uber driver told me the other day…

PANEL 3

CAPTION: REGULAR VOTERS

We’re looking at two people standing in a park: There’s a woman wearing a floral pattern skirt, speaking to us and shrugging. And a man wearing a knit cap is standing, looking up from the newspaper he was reading to address us. Both of them look bewildered.

WOMAN: I don’t understand how anyone’s “undecided” at this point.

MAN: What are swing voters thinking?

PANEL 4

CAPTION: SWING VOTERS

Three people are standing in a row – perhaps waiting on line – on a city sidewalk. A sandwich sideboard sign – also known as an A-frame sign – stands in front of the sidewalk, with the word “VOTE” and a pointing arrow.

From left to right, the swing voters are: A blonde man with nice hair, grinning widely and pressing a hand to his chest in an “I’m so smart” gesture. A black-haired woman with glasses is talking back to the blonde man, with a critical expression on her face. And a balding man wearing a striped izod shirt is looking at a “voter’s guide” pamphlet with a worried expression.

BLONDE MAN: I’ve finally chosen! I’m voting for the one with shinier hair.

GLASSES WOMAN: That’s stupid! I vote based on the weather.

BALD MAN: Anyone know what country we live in?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is a long-dead cartoonists’ expression for unimportant but hopefully amusing details stuck in by the artist.

PANEL 1: There are four books on the bookcase with legible spines. They are entitled “Unread Vol. 1,” “Unread Vol. 46,” “Dull Stuff,” and “Even Duller.” There’s some sort of mouse-like creature with big ears also hanging out on the bookcase. The two boxes on the professor’s desk are labeled “Actual Research” – that one has a small stack of papers – and “Papers To Grade,” with a ridiculously high stick of papers.

PANEL 2: The Chiron text at the bottom of the screen says “Reading Chyron Text Causes Cancer,” and then in smaller print underneath, “Don’t stop reading, kit’s too late for you anyhow.”

PANEL 3: I’m not sure this even counts as a chicken fat, but when I was drawing the stones lying on the grass on the bottom center of the panel, I was consciously arranging them to look like the top of Homer Simpson’s head and big staring eyes.

The newspaper the man is reading says “SPORTS” in big letters across the top. The top headline says “Fit People Wearing Numbers Move a Ball Around YAY.” A lower headline says “TRAGIC: Juggling Still Not Real Sport.”

PANEL 4: The sandwich board says “VOTE” in big letters, then in smaller letters under that it says “if you don’t vote the fascists may win! Is that really how you spell ‘fascists’? That’s a lot of S’s.”

The man with the Voter’s Guide is holding it upside down.

A newspaper lying on the sidewalk says “The Daily Background” on top. The headline says in large letters “DOG BITES MAN.” Then there are two side-by-side photos, showing a pleased looking doggy and a frightened running man. Below the photos is the subheading, which says “Headline Writer Is Very Bored.”


Swing Voters | Patreon

Posted in Elections |

The Conservative Guide To Fighting Poverty

Cartoon by Barry


Check out the video of this cartoon being drawn!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a different character and a different scene.

PANEL ONE

A woman holds up her phone and is tapping on it with an intense expression. She’s sitting in a kitchen; an open laptop on the table shows two men talking to each other, a tie-wearing TV host type and his guess, who is wearing a style I think of as “expensive sloppy,” with a cream colored suit jacket over an open collar shirt with no tie. The woman doesn’t seem to be paying attention to the discussion coming from the laptop.

TV HOST: Our guest today is Billionaire Hedge Fund Manager Rick Datface, discussing his new book “The Conservative Guide To Fighting Poverty.” So is your book about improving safety nets? Raising the minimum wage?

DATFACE (from laptop): Heck no!

PANEL TWO

An man wearing a bright orange safety vest over a striped shirt is pushing a hand trolly down a city sidewalk. The trolly is piled with cardboard boxes of various shapes and sizes. He’s also wearing headphones over a knit hat, listening to the same program we saw in panel one.

DATFACE (from headphones): The minimum wage hurts poor people by killing jobs! Even if economists say there’s overwhelming proof it doesn’t! Every policy to help the poor hurts them, and if we care we should stop helping!

PANEL THREE

A close-up on a hand holding a smartphone; on the smartphone screen, Datface continues speaking. He’s holding up a finger in a “I’m making a point here!” gesture, and his expression is passionate. The video channel appears to be called “FUX.”

DATFACE (from smartphone): Even the so-called “incredibly effective” anti-child-poverty measures that weren’t renewed (thank god) definitely harmed poor kids in an unidentified way! Only trickle down works!

PANEL FOUR

A woman sits at a table, looking dejectedly at bills spread on the table in front of her. Behind her, there’s a dresser with a TV on top of it, and we can see Datface on it, holding his hands together in front of his chin and trying to look very innocent and wide-eyed.

TV HOST (from TV): So the only way to fight poverty is… Tax giveaways for billionaires?

DATFACE: And we hate taking the money! But we’ll make the sacrifice.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is a venerable (fancy word for old) cartoonist’s expression for meaningless but maybe amusing details in a comic strip.

PANEL 1: There’s a piece of paper held to the fridge door by a magnet. It says: “Shopping. 1. Food. 2. Water. 3. Oxygen. 4. Repeat.”

PANEL 2: There’s a walk/don’t walk in the background. The “don’t walk” side is a figure looking at its wristwatch, while the “walk” side shows the figure disco dancing.

Also, the street sign says we’re on “Unread Ave.”

And a piece of paper littering the sidewalk says “LOST my drive. If found…”

PANEL 3: The Chiron at the bottom of the image on the smartphone says “Shock: Cher Leads Invading Force From Mars.” And a second line says “Superstar says hostile invasion won’t affect tour schedule.”

The name of the video channel is “Fux,” which sounds a little like “Fox” and also a little like a dirty word! Wow, I just do the MOST sophisticated humor, don’t I?

PANEL 4: There are three bills on the table. They say “Overdue. Shame!,” “Past due you scum,” and “Pay up you dufus we’re not afraid to break some limbs.”

The Chiron text on the TV in the background is so tiny that I doubt anyone will be able to make it out unless they’re reading this cartoon in the books (because paper is higher res). But for the record, the top line says “Study: Background Gag Too Small To Be Read.” And the second line says, “”No comment,” says incompetent cartoonist.” (Ironically, when I first posted this cartoon I misspelled “incompetent.”)

Also, the woman has a tattoo of Groucho Marx on her arm.


The Conservative Guide To Fighting Poverty | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Economic cartoons |