Centrist Dems Pre and Post Election

Cartoon by Barry

I don’t have a cartoon syndicate and I’m not in newspapers. But I get to do this for a living because lots of readers support my Patreon with mostly small pledges! I also have prints and books for sale.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four regular panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel under the bottom.

PANEL 1

A large caption says “PRE-ELECTION.”

Two people, a casually dressed woman and a more business-dressed man, are talking in an office. The man makes a dismissive gesture.

WOMAN: Progressives have some ideas for this election…

MAN: Here’s my idea. Step one: donate to our campaign. Step two: you get lost.

PANEL 2

The man pushes the woman out of the office.

WOMAN: Hey!

MAN: No insult, but you woke special interest social justice freaks repel normie voters. Leave us in charge of this election so we can win!

PANEL 3

The man sits behind his desk, looking very pleased.

MAN: Good riddance! Now we can run a winning campaign – a centrist campaign with a centrist candidate and centrist strategies!

PANEL 4

A large caption says “POST-ELECTION”.

The same man and woman are in a hallway. She glares at him, while he yells at her, jumping with fury.

MAN: WE LOST AND IT’S ALL YOUR FAULT!

KICKER PANEL

The man smiles as he talks to Barry the cartoonist.

MAN: Centrist Democrats can’t fail! We can only be failed.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is archaic cartoonist-speak for fun little details that don’t matter.

PANEL 1: On the shelves in the background: A book called “Really Big Book.” A framed picture of Tintin. There’s a framed picture of Amy from “Futurama” on the wall. The woman’s shirt says “Woop Woop.”

Her arms are covered with, well, random doodles, including a Rubik’s cube flying on angel wings, a cloud that says “meh,” a sake, and a explosion with a “BOOM” sound effect.

PANEL 2: The snake tattoo has moved to her other arm, which also features a hand hatching from an egg and a paper saying “8675309.” Her shirt now ways “Hi Mom!” There’s a framed picture of Groucho Marx on the wall.

PANEL 3: There are framed photos on the wall of Kermit the Frong, Marcie, Peppermint Patty, the Mayor from “Nightmare Before Christmas,” and Mayor Quimby from The Simpsons.

On the shelves are: A globe with a goldfish-shaped continent; a stack of three books: Really Big Book, RBB Strikes Back, and Return of the RBB. The photo of Tintin has been replaced with Tintin’s dead, decapitated head. A photo of a seagull with a fish in its beak. A mouse with a bow and arrow, taking aim at an apple on the head of another mouse. A mouse painting a picture of cheese. A napping cat.

On the desk: The book says “Scary” on the spine and “Boo” on the front cover. The icon on the back of the laptop is a cracking egg.

Finally, a mouse or rat is clinging to the arm of the chair in the foreground.

PANEL 4: The snake tattoo is back! Now looking at a tattoo of a mug of steaming liquid. There are framed pictures of Popeye and Olive Oil.

Taking Responsibility | Patreon

Posted in Elections |

Don’t Call Them Concentration Camps

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All of them show two men in suit and tie, talking at an outdoor cafe. One man is a redhead with a mustache; the other is a clean-shaven blonde.

PANEL 1

REDHEAD: And the conditions in the concentration camps we’ve built are appalling! I’m ashamed for my country!

BLONDE: Whoa! “Concentration camps”? Really?

PANEL 2

A shot of the blonde man, lecturing.

BLONDE: The camps can be criticized but calling them “concentration camps” is inflammatory. It’s something people say for the shock value.

PANEL 3

The blonde man looks angry.

BLONDE: Frankly, calling them “concentration camps” demeans the memory of the victims of the real historic concentration camps!

PANEL 4

The “camera” pulls back, and we see that this is a scene from 1930s Germany. (Storefront signs are in German, there’s a horse and carriage going past, women in 1930s fashions and hats.) The blonde man has angrily stood up, and we can see he wears a swastika on his sleeve (as does another man in the foreground).

BLONDE: And finally – never say you’re ashamed to be German. It’s like our new chancellor Hitler says – we’re making Germany great again!

(No chicken fat in this one!)

Don’t Call Them Concentration Camps | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Immigration |

Parents’ Rights

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in LGBT cartoons |

Time Travel 2: Ask Me Anything

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a “kicker” panel at the bottom.

PANEL 1

Little Barry is reading in bed when he’s startled by Big Barry coming in through a glowing time portal in the air. Rags, a dog, looks around.

BIG BARRY: Hi, Barry of 1983! I’m you from decades in the future! Ask me anything!

LITTLE BARRY: ACK!

PANEL 2

Little Barry thinks about what to ask. Big Barry smiles but looks very nervous. Rags sniffs Big Barry, tail wagging.

LITTLE BARRY: Okay, um… So is Reagan still the worst President ever?

BIG BARRY: Hah haha ha ha ha! Hoo boy, you think Reagan’s bad! HA! Ha ha aaah oh God.

PANEL 3

Big Barry, weeping, rushes out through the portal.

BIG BARRY: SOB! I’m sorry, I can’t – I – it’s – I gotta go!

PANEL 4

The time portal flicks out, and Big Barry is gone. Little Barry addresses the dog.

LITTLE BARRY: Well, that bodes ill.

KICKER PANEL

Big Barry is petting Rags; Rags is happy for the attention.

BIG BARRY: I didn’t really come back to see my younger self. I came back to see Rags. Who’s a good boy?

RAGS (thought): Is it me? It’s ME!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is archaic cartoonistese for fun little details in the art.

Panel 1: A poster for the “Annie” musical above Barry’s bed says: “Annie. A New Musical and Barry’s First Celebrity Crush. Remember when tickets were affordable… Must be nice.”

Panel 2: The poster has changed to a crudely drawn caricature of Ronald Reagan, with the caption “Let’s Retire Ron.”

Panel 3: The poster has changed to a shirtless, ridiculously muscled man flexing, little mini-muscle bumps sticking up from his huge biceps. The caption says “MUSCLES MAN… His Muscles Have Muscles!” He has a word balloon, which says “Please get me to a doctor.”

Panel 4: The poster has changed to a photo of Reggie Jackson swinging a baseball bat. The caption says: REGGIE… because being good at hitting a ball with a stick makes you a HERO.”

Time Travel 2: Ask Me Anything | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Elections |

The Business Genius

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel.

PANEL 1

Two workers in reflective vests and hard hats are on a factory floor when a man wearing a blazer over a t-shirt walks in, arms spread wide.

BLAZER: Greetings, workers! I just bought this weezotski factory.

WORKER: Oh, uh… Welcome! So you must have lots of experience with weezotskis?

PANEL 2

Grinning, Blazer keeps talking, looking very smug.

BLAZER: None! But success in an unrelated industry has made me freakishly wealthy! And that makes me a business genius who can run anything!

PANEL 3

Blazer puts his arm around the worker and makes a grand “envision the future!” gesture.

BLAZER: I’m gonna disrupt this company so hard! It’ll be amazing! You’ll see! (Not you personally. I’m firing you.)

PANEL 4

CAPTION: SIX MONTHS LATER

Blazer, still grinning, flees from a burning factory building.

BLAZER: Another business brilliantly saved!

KICKER PANEL

Blazer, looking smug, is talking to Barry the cartoonist.

BLAZER: Maybe I should run the government!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is long-obscure cartoonist talk for fun but unimportant details in the art.

Panel 1: A limp hand is sticking out a hole in the huge factory machine. A panel of the floor is missing, and a corpse in a funeral suit lies within. The box the worker is carrying is labeled “Caution: Irrelevant Prop.”

Panel 2: In the background, in supervisors windows, are Homer Simpson and Dr. Bunsen Honeydew.

Panel 3: An opening in the side of a big factory machine contains Brain, of “Pinky and the Brain.” A vent hose has a distressed face on it. In a window in a machine in the background, a grinning stoned person hands upside-down.

A sign says “URGENT: Always complete your shift and clean your area before fighting demonic forces.” Another says “WARNING: Studies show that most people’s largest deathbed regret is time not spent working.” A sign on a large red button says “NO. Do not press button. Nope.”

Panel 4: The dark cloud in the sky, if you rotate it 90 degrees to the right, is an enormous face in profile.

The tattoo storyline: In panel one, the worker has a tattoo of a snake on his right arm, and a tattoo of an apple on his left arm. In panel two, the snake tattoo has crossed to his left arm and is examining the apple. In panel 3, the apple has been eaten, and the snake – no longer merely a tattoo – is crawling out of a hole in a big factory machine.

The Business Genius | Patreon

Posted in Economic cartoons |

Tehran

Cartoon by Barry

(All dialog taken from “Dark Like Our Future,” The Guardian, March 8 2026.)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all showing a woman in her thirties in a modest but nice apartment.

PANEL 1

The woman pulls back a curtain, looking at the darkness outside.

CAPTION: “Negin” – not her real name – lives in Tehran.

NEGIN: The situation is so frightening it’s hard to describe. Smoke has covered the city. I have severe shortness of breath and burning in my eyes and throat, and many others feel the same.

PANEL 2

Negin turns away from the window and speaks directly to us.

NEGIN: I ask those who have the ability, especially foreign media, to reflect on this situation. What are people supposed to do under these conditions?

PANEL 3

Negin speaks angrily.

NEGIN: If someone has a problem with the Islamic Republic government, that’s one thing – But not with us, the people! This is no longer just a human rights violation.

PANEL 4

Negin sits on the sofa, slumping and looking down.

NEGIN: It is truly anti-human behavior.

A footnote below the cartoon says “Dialog quoted from “Dark Like Our Future,” The Guardian, march 8 2026.”

Tehran | Patreon

Posted in Environmental cartoons, Imperialism & War |

The Alpha Wolf

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Nadine Scholtes.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A man in a yellow shirt is at a bus stop, cheerfully lecturing the other two people at the stop.

MAN: “Feminization” has warped society. If we lived as nature intended I’d be the alpha wolf!

PANEL 2

The man with a huge thought balloon, showing him imagining walking with one hand holding a bloody axe and the other around a woman’s waist. A second woman, in a maid outfit, is carrying a tray of cake and steak. A third woman looks at him adoringly.

MAN: And the alpha wolf gets the first pick of everything! The best food, the best mates!

PANEL 3

MAN: That’s how men should live. I wish I was a wolf in the wild!

PANEL 4

Inside a wolf den, two adult wolves are talking. There are four kids (three small puppies, one medium sized) and a dead rabbit.

CAPTION: Wolves in the Wild

DAD WOLF: First the little ones eat, then the rest of us will.

MOM WOLF: And then — cuddle pile!

PUPPY: Yay!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an archaic cartoonists’ term for unimportant little details in the art.

PANEL 1 – The tattoo is of a German cartoon mouse named Diddl, holding a heart.

A poster says “HEY YOU! READ THIS! Wow, I can’t believe you’re reading this just because I said to.”

Another poster shows a cool woman in sunglasses holding a guitar. Text says “YET ANOTHER BAND… you’re not cool enough to know.”

A pigeon standing on the sidewalk is wearing sunglasses and smoking a cigarette.

PANEL 3 – A poster has a picture of the panel 1 pigeon, with the caption “BEWARE Bad Pigeon.”

The guy waiting at the bus stop is miming shooting himself in the head so he doesn’t have to listen to this alpha wolf prattle any more.

The woman’s tattoo now shows the character Superjhemp (a parody of Superman and other superheroes). He’s very popular in Luxembourg – “he has appeared in over 29 graphic novels that have the highest sales rate for Luxembourgish publications.”

The Alpha Wolf | Patreon

Posted in Sexism & Misogyny |

History, Rhyming

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. A caption at the top says “History, Rhyming.”

PANEL 1

A close up of someone’s hand lying limply on the ground, in sepia tones.

CAPTION: August 20, 1965: Civil rights activist Jonathan Daniels put himself between a deputy sheriff and the black teen the deputy was attacking. The deputy shot Daniels to death.

PANEL 2

A close up of a gloved hand lying limply on snowy pavement, a cell phone lying nearby. Drawn in blue tones.

CAPTION: January 24 2026: Anti-fascist activist Alex Pretti put himself between border protection agents and the woman the agents were attacking. The agents shot Pretti to death.

PANEL 3

This panel is divided in two, sepia on the left and blues on the right. On the sepia side, a man inn a suit sneers. On the right side, a man in a border patrol uniform sneers.

BOTH (in unison): He was intended to commit a massacre!

CAPTION (sepia side): Arthur Gamble: Corrupt prosecutor who threw the case.

CAPTION (blue side): Gregory Bovino: Border Patrol Commander.

PANEL 4

Another panel divided into sepia and blue sides. On the sepia side is a cheerful middle-aged man in a suit. On the right side are two masked Border Patrol agents.

ALL THREE (unison): I was in fear for my life!

CAPTION (sepia side): Tom Coleman, Daniels’ murderer.

CAPTION (blue side): Jesus Ochoa and Raymundo Gutierrez, Pretti’s murderers.

PANEL 5

On the sepia side, three people with 1960s haircuts are angrily yelling. On the blue side, same thing except with current-day hair and clothes.

ALL (unison): If he hadn’t put himself where he didn’t belong he’d still be alive! Cops have to make split-second judgements! Law! Order! Bark bark bark bark woof!

CAPTION: Boot-licking stooges.

PANEL 6

In a clearing, surrounded by grass, trees, and shrubs, two men talk to each other. The men are distant from us. One, dressed in black and wearing a clerical collar, is identified as “Jonathan Daniels, 1939-1965.” The other, wearing a comfy looking winter jacket and baggy jeans, is identified as “Alex Pretti, 1989-2026.”

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is obscure cartoonists’ lingo for little details hidden in the art. I drew almost no chicken fat here – the tone of the strip felt wrong for it – but in panel five, two of the modern day people are wearing MAGA hats that say “Make America Dicks Again.” One man’s t-shirt shows a teddy bear saying “FU.”

History, Rhyming | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

The Obsession

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and frequent collaborator Nadine Scholtes.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing the same central character, a fortyish redheaded woman, in a different setting.

PANEL 1

A woman wearing a red cardigan over a white t-shirt, and a cross necklace, is handing a brown paper lunch bag to her daughter. The daughter is rolling her eyes.

WOMAN: Schools are hotbeds for trans groomers! Don’t let any of them talk to you.

PANEL 2

Four women, including our main character (who is currently speaking), are having a meeting on Zoom.

WOMAN: I found a petition supporting this week’s new bills banning trans heath care. I’m sending the link so we can all sign.

PANEL 3

A woman with short brown hair is washing her hands in a public restroom. Nearby, our main character watches the woman suspiciously.

WOMAN (thought): Short hair… Might be trans? I better call the manager!

PANEL 4

The woman lies in bed. It’s nighttime, but she’s wide awake.

WOMAN (thought): Why is the left obsessed with trans?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is ancient, mostly forgotten cartoonist-ese for fun but needless details in the art.

PANEL 1 – The dog is rolling its eyes, just like the daughter. The daughter’s t-shirt says “Plants are gooood!” with a picture of a lit joint.

PANEL 2 – One person on Zoom is drinking with a mug with a picture of Jesus grinning and with his thumb up, a reference to the Kevin Smith movie Dogma. Another zoom person has dozed off, and the cat in her lap is anxiously taking notes. And a third zoom person is knitting a sweater with three sleeves, a reference to a famous Charles Addams cartoon.

PANEL 3 – The short-haired woman has a tattoo of Mr. Cupcake from Five Nights At Freddy’s.

PANEL 4 – The dog is wearing a sleep mask and pajamas with little hearts. Also, there are four books lying on the bed, which are:

1. TRANS PEOPLE HATE YOU. They’re Probably Hiding Under Your Bed Right Now, by Matt Waltz & Dave Chappelle.
2. HARRY POTTER AND THE INFINITE WELL OF ANTI-TRANS FUNDING by J.K. Rowling.
3. TRANSGENDERS ATE MY DOG and other things that definitely really happened, by Abigail Crier. “This is the best and probably only book I’ve ever read” – D. Trump
4. HOW THE TRANS DESTROYED MY LIFE. It’s Definitely Their Fault And Not Just That I’m An Insufferable Asshole And Everyone Who Has Ever Met Me Hates Me, by Graham Lineham.
   

   ---

The Obsession | Patreon

Posted in LGBT cartoons, Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

Helpful Advice For New Moms

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel at the bottom.

PANEL 1

A mother in the middle seat of an airplane is holding her crying baby, while the annoyed women on either side of her offer their advice.

AISLE SEAT LADY: If you let your baby cry in public you’re a bad mother.

WINDOW SEAT LADY: If you quiet them with screen time you’re a bad mother.

PANEL 2

A smiling woman wearing a mint green gi sits crosslegged next to a potted plant, holding a mug of tea. A large picture window faces a natural scene.

WOMAN: Formula is poison! Quit your job and breastfeed at least every two hours or you don’t love your baby.

PANEL 3

A woman in business wear and red glasses speaks directly to us.

WOMAN: If you really love your baby, spend more time at work and start their college fund.

PANEL 4

A middle-aged man is carrying a tall stack of books and pamphlets, so heavy that he’s bent backwards.

MAN: I brought you some light reading about “wake windows” and optimal nap schedules.

PANEL 5

Most of this center panel is taken up by the title: HELPFUL ADVICE FOR NEW MOMS. Below that, a blonde woman in a green jacket smiles.

WOMAN: Trust your instincts! Which are terrible and wrong.

PANEL 6

A mom has her baby in a stroller in a park, and is just kneeling down to put on some socks. A woman behind her turns red and curves over the mom in an impossible arc to get in her face and yell.

WOMAN: Why isn’t your baby wearing SOCKS?!?

PANEL 7

A couple relaxes on a sofa, her head resting on his shoulder. They talk to us, his expression genial, hers angry.

HIM: Co-sleeping is the natural way to teach your baby to sleep!

HER: Until you roll over and smother them, you murderer!

PANEL 8

An older woman leans close to us and holds up a finger as she gives advice.

WOMAN: Wean too soon and he’ll grow up sickly. Wean too late and he’ll grow up weird!

PANEL 9

A large crowd of people, of various ages and ethnicities and fashion choices, speak in unison. Some are angry, some friendly. One is a mother with a baby in a sling.

EVERYBODY: And remember: Whatever happens, it’s your fault!

“KICKER” PANEL AT THE BOTTOM

Barry is talking to a woman who looks absolutely exhausted.

BARRY: Do you know what “catch 22” means?

TIRED WOMAN: Is it minutes of sleep I caught last night?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

Chicken fat is ancient cartoonist lingo for fun but unimportant little details in the art.

In panel six, the sockless baby is kicking their feet so much that Becky drew the baby with six adorable little feet.

In panel nine, one woman is wearing a T-Shirt design that’s a mix of an anarchy symbol and a cat’s head. That same design showed up as a poster on the wall in a previous Becky cartoon.

Also in panel nine, one man in the crowd carries a “World’s Best Dad” mug, and the baby’s eyes are hilariously wide and shocked-looking.

Helpful Advice For New Moms | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Sexism & Misogyny |

Weight Loss Inc

Cartoon by Barry

A cartoon by me and Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. They all show the same scene – the lobby of a weight-loss store – but a few months pass between each panel. In every panel, a fat redheaded woman, a customer, talks to a thin blonde woman, a saleswoman.

PANEL 1

Through the display window, we can see a green, leafy tree. A couple of bags of money lie under the counter. The customer is wearing a floral sundress and cardigan, and is opening a purse full of cash as she talks to the saleswoman.

CUSTOMER: I’d really like to lose weight.

SALESWOMAN: We can help! It’s only $200 to start!

PANEL 2

The tree has now lost all its leaves, and the customer is returning, carrying a sack of cash and wearing winter clothing. There’s more money under the counter.

CUSTOMER: I lost a bit of weight, but I’d like to lose more.

SALESWOMAN: You got it! For a modest monthly subscription.

PANEL 3

It’s now spring, and there are little pink flowers on the tree. The customer, in stretchy pants and a loose fitting long-sleeved top, returns with a grocery cart filled with bags of money. The saleswoman is cheery, but the customer is downcast. There are now so many moneybags under the counter that some are spilling out the side.

CUSTOMER: Now I’ve gained all the weight back… And a little more.

SALESWOMAN: You need our super subscription plan. It comes with an app!

PANEL 4

The tree is full and green again. The customer is back, with the shopping cart piled so high with money that she’s mostly hidden behind it. The room is filled with money bags, and the saleswoman is lounging on the pile of money, smiling happily.

CUSTOMER: Does it worry you that your weight loss plans keep on failing?

SALESWOMAN: Oh, yes, definitely. So very concerned!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obscure cartoonists’ term for fun background details. There’s a poster on the wall which says “Love Yourself,” but in the first three panels we can’t see the complete poster because the saleswoman stands in front of it. In panel four, we can finally see the small print below “Love Yourself”: “Not yet. Later. Once there’s less of you.”

Weight Loss Inc. | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Fat Acceptance |

AI Bubble

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is drawn by new guest artist Jamie Sale, who did a terrific job.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows a businessman in a suit grinning as he speaks to us.

PANEL 1

A close up of a businessman grinning. In the background, a bright blue sky with fluffy clouds.

MAN: A.I. Is the defining tech of our time! Microsoft and amazon and facebook and google have spent almost a trillion dollars on A.I.!

PANEL 2

The camera has pulled back a little. We can see the man is holding a bubble blower, bubbles streaming from it.

MAN: Has A.I. made a profit? Not yet, but… Someday we’ll figure out something A.I. can do that actually makes money! It definitely might could happen!

PANEL 3

The man continues grinning, pumping his fist, as the air around him turns gray and forbidding and the bubbles stream out.

MAN: In the meantime, We have to prepare! By spending more billions building more A.I. data centers so we can spend trillions more so that someday A.I. can do… Um…

PANEL 4

We can now see that the man is talking to a huge bubble floating in the air. The bubble has been packed fill with ordinary looking people, shoved in like sardines in a can. They looked panicked and unhappy.

MAN: Anyway, A.I. is certainly possibly maybe not going to pop and take down the whole economy! You’ve got nothing to worry about!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is old-fashioned cartoonist lingo for little extras in the art.

Panel 2 – In a tiny window in a cloud is a tiny, teeny silhouette of a spy with binoculars.

Panel 3 – One of the bubbles has a mouse in it.

Panel 4 – One of the bubbles has a “for rent” sign.

The A.I. Bubble | Patreon

Posted in Economic cartoons |

The Future of Journalism is Now!

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by Jenn Manley Lee and I.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two anchors on a TV news show are talking.

MALE ANCHOR: Breaking news – The sale of this network to a billionaire has been finalized!

FEMALE ANCHOR: Wow! It seems like that’s been happening to all the networks!

PANEL 2

A guy sits in his living room, practicing the guitar, while the news plays on his laptop.

MALE ANCHOR: Not just the networks – all the social media sites too!

FEMALE ANCHOR: So will things be changing here in the newsroom.

PANEL 3

The news plays on a wall-mounted TV in a laundromat.

MALE ANCHOR: Absolutely not! Our news division will remain independent!

FEMALE ANCHOR: You really think so?

PANEL 4

In the TV studio; we are behind the anchors, looking at the cameras and lights. A nervous looking intern winces away from a confident looking executive. The cue card the intern holds says “Of course! In fact, it’s good that journalism is owned by kindly oligarchs with only the public’s best interests at heart!”

MALE ANCHOR: Of course! In fact, it’s good that journalism is owned by kindly oligarchs with only the public’s best interests at heart!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is ancient cartoonist lingo for fun but unimportant details in the art.

PANEL 1 – In the skyline in the background, a caped superhero flies. The chyron says “Cahped Hero Spotted Over Skyline – only the most attentive viewers notice. End times sign?

PANEL 2 – The dog is very attentively watching the newscast. The book the man is looking at is called “Guitar Riffs for a Mid-Life Crisis.”

PANEL 3 – The chyron on TV says “Blah Blah Blah Blah. Blah? Yes, Blah!” and then “this particularly rapid unintelligible patter” (a Gilbert and Sullivan reference).

Signs on the wall: “WANTED: Flier writer. Must be able to write better fliers than this one.” “LOST: Innocence. If found do not return, I worked so hard to get rid of it.” “NOTICE: Soap sludge scraped off the bottom of washers is NOT edible.”

A koi fish is swimming around in the washing machine.

The Future of Journalism Is Now | Patreon

Posted in Media criticism |

Wanted

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A middle-aged man in a button-up shirt points directly at us, contempt on his face. He’s standing in a park.

MAN: You! Yeah, you! Face it – you’re a loser.

PANEL 2

The man continues berating us.

MAN: You’ve never accomplished much of anything, and you never will, because you’ve got nothing to contribute.

PANEL 3

We’re looking at a hand holding a smartphone; on the phone’s screen, the man continues his rant.

MAN: But you still think you’re better than most people. Especially the dark skinned ones. You’re basically a piece of shit and you want to hurt people.

PANEL 4

We switch scenes to a cluttered living room. Two women are relaxing on the sofa, one with her feet up on the other’s lap. The second woman is looking at her smartphone.

WOMAN 1: What on earth are you watching?

WOMAN 2: New ICE recruitment ad.

PHONE: Well, have I got a job for YOU!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is long-dead cartoonists’ slang for what the kids now call “Easter eggs.”

Panel two: In the hollow of a tree is a human skull. Through the eyeholes, we can see a bird sitting inside the skull.

And on the ground, an evil bunny glares and smokes a cig.

Panel three: Thumbnails of other videos are below the main image. The other videos are named “CATS,” “puppies,” “BOOBS,” “SPORTS!,” and “RAGE.”

Panel four: There are two framed pictures of the wall, one of a giant worm wearing a polo shirt, the other of the title character from the 1990s cartoon “Darla.”

The cat snoozing on the sofa is wearing glasses.

The first woman has a tattoo of an octopus with a mohawk, and also a snake winding around her arm.

The book on her lap says “BOOK TITLE, by Author Name.”

The second woman has a tattoo of Harold from Harold and the Purple Crayon. She’s wearing a t-shirt with the “Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy” planet logo.

One coffee mug on the table has a picture of an apple with a worm hole. The other mug has a picture of a worm looking puzzled (I think it’s looking for its apple).

A book on the coffee table is entitled “GREG: Like God, but taller” by “A Horne,” a reference to the UK TV show “Taskmaster.”

Wanted | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Immigration |

I Can’t Believe They Deported Carol!

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and new guest artist Mike Lawrence.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows a frizzy-haired guy, and in each panel he’s in a different setting talking to a different person.

PANEL 1

Frizzy and a woman in a green shirt are on a downtown sidewalk.

WOMAN: I voted for Trump, but I didn’t know he’d deport good moms like Carol.

FRIZZY: And now that you know, you’ll vote for someone who’ll fix it, right?

WOMAN: Eh.

PANEL 2

Frizzy and a sad-looking man in a blue baseball cap and American flag t-shirt are sitting at a bar.

MAN: We all love Carol. She’s so honest and hard working. What they did to her is just awful.

FRIZZY: Exactly! So next time you’ll vote for someone for giving people like Carol legal ways to stay?

MAN: Well…

PANEL 3

Frizzy is standing in front of a church, talking to an anxious woman wearing a nice dress.

WOMAN: Carol’s a regular at church! And such a big heart! She doesn’t belong in a detention center.

FRIZZY: Um… So now you’ll vote differently?

WOMAN: I didn’t say that.

PANEL 4

In a park, a man in a plaid shirt looks a little downcast; Frizzy is yelling and in a panic.

MAN: I can’t believe they’re doing this to Carol. Poor Carol.

FRIZZY: SO NOW YOU’LL VOTE DIFFERENTLY RIGHT?!?

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an archaic cartoonists’ term for unimportant but fun details in the art.

PANEL 1 – The bus sign says “14 to the cool people.” (Mike used to live near, and I still live near, the number 14 bus line).

The sign in the store window says “50% OFF! All 50% off signs now 50% off.”

A child in the store window is holding up a handmade sign saying “trapped plees call mommy.” An ad on the bus stop bench shows a grinning man, and says “LAWYER ready to sue your pants off since 2019.” Small print on the bench says “blah blah blah Bob Loblaws law blog blah money money gimmie gimmie (503) 867-5309.”

Poster on wall says “That Old Band From Your Youth – Surprisingly Still Alive Tour,” with a picture of a walker in a spotlight.

Another poster says “WANTED For Crimes Against Inking,” with a picture of a badly-drawn face surrounded by ink splatters.

A coffee cup on the ground says “Cap’n Boomer,” a Moby Dick reference.

PANEL 2 – A poster on the wall says “Putz Blue Ribbon swill.”

The mustache man has a tattoo of Twilight Sparkle from My Little Pony. His hat has the logo of the UCI (University of California Irvine) Anteaters, except it says UTI. His beer is called “Lowlife.”

A man in the background is wearing a “KPop Demon Hunter.”

There’s gum stuck under the counter.

Under the counter are three rats. The first rat has a mustache and is holding a tiny beer bottle, like the mustache man above him. The second is playing darts. The third is exploring the inside of a mug.

PANEL 3 – The church has a “Church of Christian Love” sign with room for three notices to be pinned to it. The first notice: “Liberals, homos and trans stay out!” The second: “Monday Rapture.” The third: “Tuesday Potluck.”

PANEL 4 – There’s a person sitting high in a tree in the background. In the other tree, Beaker from the Muppets is peeking out of a hollow.

I Can’t Believe They Deported Carol | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Immigration, Right-wingers |

We’d All Miss Private Health Insurance

Cartoon by Barry

Another collab with the terrific R.E. Ryan.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all showing a protest in front of a state government capital building, with marchers holding placards. We’re focused on two people talking, on a thin blonde man in a suit, the other a fatter guy in a pink shirt, carrying a sign that says “MEDICARE FOR ALL.”

PANEL 1

Suit, with an annoyed expression, is talking at Pinkshirt.

SUIT: Medicare For All? Ridiculous! Did you know that most Medicare For All proposals ban private health insurance?

PANEL 2

Pinkshirt slaps a palm over his face and looks horrified. Suit is startled.

PINKSHIRT: No private insurance? Oh no! The horror! How could I stand not paying more than my rent for insurance that doesn’t even kick in until I’ve spent $5000?

PANEL 3

A close up of Pinkshirt, wide-eyed and sweating.

PINKSHIRT: How terrible if I could pick any doctor! Imagine the trauma of not losing health insurance if I lose my job! Sob!

PANEL 4

Pinkshirt had fallen dramatically to his knees. Suit scowls at Pinkshirt.

SUIT: I can tell you’re being sarcastic, you know.

PINKSHIRT: The poor insurance company executives! Why didn’t I think of the harm to them!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is obsolete cartoonist lingo for fun but irrelevant details in the art.

In panel 1, an inflatable frog costume has a frown on its face. In panel 2, the frog has started to blow up a balloon with zebra stripes. In panel 4, the inflatable zebra has joined the inflatable frog, and both are smiling.

The tattoo on Pinkshirt’s arm at first shows an egg in the nest. Then, in the next panel, cracks have appeared in the egg. In the final panel, an adorable chick has hatched.

Protest signs:

“generic background PROTEST sign, which isn’t important and you didn’t need to read this, but now you have.”

“Down with this sort of thing.”

“Proofreaders need health insurence,” with the “e” in the last word crossed out and replaced with an “a.”

“No!”

“Bad Doggie”

“Careful Now”

“I Can’t Afford My Spleen”

We’d All Miss Private Health Insurance | Patreon

Posted in Health care, R. E. Ryan collaborations |

ICE’s Get Out of Jail Free Card

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows two people on a sidewalk: One is a masked ICE agent, the other a woman carrying a protest sign which says “abolish ICE.”

PANEL 1

The ICE agent glares at the woman. The woman’s back is to him.

PANEL 2

The woman turns her head, spotting the ICE agent, who has angry body language.

PANEL 3

The ICE agent has drawn his gun and fires three times. The woman falls.

PANEL 4

The ICE agent speaks directly to us, pulling down his mask so we can see his gleeful expression. The woman’s corpse lies in the background.

ICE AGENT: Self-defense!

ICE’s Get Out of Jail Free Card | Patreon

Posted in Immigration, Social Justice |

Beware the Narco Terrorists

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Nadine Scholtes.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels. They show two people, a Black woman wearing a white turtleneck, and a white woman wearing a red MAGA cap, talking in a park.

PANEL 1

Turtleneck is holding a smartphone and speaking angrily. Red Cap is taken a bit aback.

TURTLENECK: Look at this! Trump had the Navy shoot another boat of “narco-terrorists” in international waters! No evidence, no trial, just an execution!

PANEL 2

Turtleneck points at Red Cap accusingly; Red Cap raises her palms placatingly.

TURTLENECK: How can you condone this? What’s wrong with you?

RED CAP: Calm down! There’s no need to be uncivil! We can disagree and still be reasonable.

PANEL 3

Turtleneck, still angry, walks away muttering; Red Cap smiles and waves bye.

TURTLENECK: Mumble grumble stupidnazi fascists

RED CAP: Go touch some grass. Bye!

PANEL 4

Red Cap continues smiling and waving bye.

PANEL 5

Still smiling and waving, Red Cap is making a call on her cell phone.

RED CAP: Hello, U.S. Navy? I’m calling to report a narco-terrorist.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is obsolete cartoonists’ lingo for Eater Eggs.

PANEL 1 – A happy little mouse is holding a pink balloon. Far in the background, a bird soars.

PANEL 2 – The mouse, now sad, has lost its balloon, which floats into the sky. The bird flies to the balloon.

PANEL 3 – The bird returns the balloon to the again-happy mouse.

PANEL 4 – The MAGA hat reads “Make America Spell Agian”

PANEL 5 – The MAGA hat reads “Mash America’s Grapes Again”

Beware The Narco Terrorists | Patreon

Posted in Imperialism & War, Nadine Scholtes collaborations |

Bankruptcy Lane

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, all showing the sidewalk and part of the street in front of a store called “The Furniture KING.”

PANEL 1

A guy in a green jacket is taking a bag out the back of his hatchback. In the background, The Furniture King’s huge display windows are completely covered with signs such as “Call You Mayor We Need All 4 Lanes” and “How Will YOU Get Home?” There’s a tree with pretty autumn leaves.

GREEN JACKET: I can’t wait for the new bike lanes.

STORE OWNER: Noooo!

PANEL 2

The store owner has grabbed the Green Jacket’s shirt and is yelling at him.

STORE OWNER: The new bike lane is supposed to pass right in front of my store! How are my customers supposed to get in? How?

PANEL 3

Green Jacket tries to reassure the store owner, who has fallen to his knees and is weeping.

GREEN JACKET: Er, I don’t think it’ll be-

STORE OWNER: Six months from now my poor store will be out of business! BANKRUPT!

PANEL 4

The same scene, but now the tree leaves are green, and a green bike lane has been installed in front of the store. There are pedestrians and bikers. Store Owner stands on the sidewalk, talking into a bullhorn and shaking a fist in the air.

CAPTION: Two Years Later

STORE OWNER: If they build that new bus lane, it will definitely destroy my store!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is old fashioned cartoonist parlance for what we now call “Easter Eggs.”

PANEL 1 – The back of the man’s jacket shows a bowling ball lovingly hugging a bowling pin. The rear view mirror of a car is completely filled with a green monster eye, a reference to the famous “Objects In Mirror Are Closer Than They Appear” Far Side cartoon.

PANEL 4 – The customer walking into the store in the background, is Green Jacket guy from the first three panels.

Bankruptcy Lane | Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Uncategorized |

Reasons To Support Trump

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels.

PANEL 1

A grinning man stands in his living room.

MAN: That TV Star billionaire son of a billionaire is an underdog like me!

PANEL 2

A woman standing behind a fence gestures at her phone.

WOMAN: Trump kills random Venezuelans on boats with no trial or evidence… But Democrats seem smug, which is much worse.

PANEL 3

A man in a suit is overcome with fury and shouting.

MAN: Because filthy pet-eating invaders are poisoning America with their dirty blood! (But I’ve got nothing against immigrants).

PANEL 4

A man in a compound surrounded by barbed wire hugs a gigantic gun and yells.

MAN: Because Democrats wanna take our guns!

PANEL 5

This central panel contains the title, “Reasons To Support Trump.” Below that, a nice looking smiling woman talks, and in the background a Klansman adds something.

WOMAN: Not because I’m a closet white supremacist! Heck no!

KLANSMAN: Same!

PANEL 6

A housewife in an apron, surrounded by children, happily talks.

HOUSEWIFE: I like that the President has traditional family values! Like Donald with Ivana Marla Melania.

PANEL 7

A man looks up from reading a newspaper.

MAN: Because Trump is fighting “cancel culture” by getting people we don’t like fired or deported!

PANEL 8

A man in a suit gestures towards a teacher in the background, who looks indignant.

MAN: Because woke “teachers” indoctrinate our kids into being trans!

TEACHER (thought): Yeah, right. I can’t even get them to use deodorant.

PANEL 9

An woman in her living room talks to us angrily.

WOMAN: Liberals are evil terrorist loving pathetic loser cucks who hate freedom! And they say such mean things about Trump!

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken Fat” is long-dormant cartoonist speak for irrelevant details we stick in because it amuses us.

Panel 1: Igor, Marty Feldman’s Young Frankenstein character, is peering in the window. (He’s drawn in black and white, like the film). There’s a framed picture of Montgomery Burns on the wall. The man’s sports shirt says “42,” a reference to the Hitchhiker’s Guide To The Galaxy novels.

Panel 2: A flyer taped to the tree says “WANTED: A poem as lovely as this tree. Contact Joyce.” A groundhog wearing a top hat and a scarf has popped out from the ground.

Panel 4: A poster taped to the wall shows an adorable mom holding a gun; the caption says “My other mom is the NRA.” One of the gun crates has a sign on it saying “Caution: Bang! Bang!”

Panel 6: A surprised looking infant hangs from one of the hooks on the wall. One of the children is smoking a cigarette. One is Little Orphan Annie, as she looked early in that comic strip. One has a t-shirt with a superhero named “I.P. Man.”

Panel 7: The newspaper, entitled “The Right News,” has a giant headline saying “Is Zohran Secretly Hamas?” A smaller subhead says “We imply yes!”

Panel 8: On the blackboard, below a complex looking algebra equation, it says “You’re right. You’ll never use this math in real life. Ha ha suckers!” Elsewhere, it says “E=M.C. Hammer” and, in a list format, “1. Fee 2. Fie 3. Foe 4. Fum”.

Panel 9: The cat is a pirate, with a big loop earring in one ear, an eyepatch, and a peg leg. The vase has Charlie Brown’s shirt’s stripe on it.

Reasons To Support Trump | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Racism & Racists, Right-wingers |