Touch My Face, Dammit!

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting my patreon! Every dollar of support goes directly to neighborhood goats who eat them and poop out sustainable rainbows.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two women are on a sidewalk. One – let’s call her “Collar” – has straight shoulder-length hair and is wearing a button shirt with a collar, partly unbuttoned over a long-sleeved tee shirt with red stripes. The other woman – let’s call her “Jeans” – has a long white cane (with a rad portion near the bottom and a black portion near the top) which she’s sweeping over the ground in front of her, has curly hair, and is wearing a hoodie and fashionably torn jeans. Collar has an expression of delight and is looking down towards Jeans’ cane. Jeans looks a little taken aback.

COLLAR: Oh, you’re blind! Would you like to touch my face?

JEANS: Er… no. No thank you.

PANEL 2

A closer shot of the two women. Collar, still smiling, is leaning forward, shoving her face close to Jeans. Jeans is holding up a hand protectively and leaning back.

COLLAR: No, really, touch my face. It’s okay.

JEANS: That’s a myth. Blind people don’t go around touching stranger’s faces.

PANEL 3

Collar has grabbed Jeans’ wrist and is attempting to pull Jeans’ hand to her face (Jeans is still holding her cane in her other hand); Jeans is pulling away, looking angry. Both are speaking loudly.

COLLAR: TOUCH MY FACE!

JEANS: NO! LET GO!

PANEL 4

A change of scene – a comfortable looking apartment. In the background, a short-haired woman is seated on a small sofa, looking up from the book she was reading. There’s a coffee table in front of her. In the foreground, Jeans is stomping in, looking angry and holding her hands away from her body.

SHORT-HAIRED WOMAN: Hi, Honey! How was your–

JEANS (angrily): I NEED TO WASH MY HANDS!


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Ableism |

How To Recognize a Drug-Seeker

Cartoon by Barry


If you like these cartoons, please support them! A $2 pledge really helps.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. The cartoon is set in a doctor’s examining room – it has one of those tall examination tables with padding so patients can lie down, medical equipment and a degree hanging on walls, various cabinets, a sink. A tired-looking woman in a yellow tank top and black capri pants is sitting on the exam table. A doctor is standing in front of her. We can tell he’s a doctor because he’s wearing a white lab coat and has a stethoscope hanging around his neck. He’s holding a clipboard in one hand.

PANEL 1

The doctor is speaking to the patient. The patient is slumping a little, while the doctor is stiffly upright.

DOCTOR: Some people use narcotics to get high. So when you come here and say you’re in constant pain, that tells me you’re a lying drug-seeker.

PANEL 2

A closer shot of just the doctor as he speaks, looking stern and a bit angry, clutching the clipboard to near his chest.

DOCTOR: If you ask for pain meds, you’re a drug seeker.

DOCTOR: If you seem desperate, you’re a drug seeker.

DOCTOR: If you cry, you’re a drug-seeker.

PANEL 3

A close-up of the doctor’s face as he lectures, one forefinger raised.

DOCTOR: If you talk back to me, you’re a drug-seeker. If you don’t like me assuming you’re a  drug-seeker, you’re a drug-seeker.

PANEL 4

A shot of the patient and doctor. The patient is now very wide-eyed, and leans back, away from the doctor. The doctor leans forward, hunching over his clipboard a bit as he makes a note.

PATIENT: Could I talk to a doctor who isn’t horrible?

DOCTOR: “Doctor-shopping.” Classic drug-seeker.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites |

So Inspiring! (featuring guest artist Nidhi Naroth)

Cartoon by Barry


The guest artist for this cartoon is Nidhi Naroth. Nidhi’s work has a vibrancy I love – even their desaturated colors somehow glow.

I asked Nidhi for a two-sentence bio: “Nidhi is a queer artist with roots in South Asia. They adore conversation and will definitely keep you for an hour or so to talk about various mythologies and folklores (only if you have the time to spare!).”


Please help there be more of these cartoons by supporting my Patreon!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show a few people in what appears to be a park, with a path going past some enormous looking trees.

The characters might be teen girls, or might be young women. One of them is wearing a sky-blue tee shirt and has long red-brown hair down almost to her waist. One of them is wearing a brown hoodie, with the hood down, and has a nice-looking short haircut.

The third is wearing a bright yellow button-up shirt open over a brown undershirt, with her brown hair in high pigtails, as well as a necklace and some bracelets. She’s walking with a dog on a leash. She’s wearing shorts, and we can see she has two prosthetic legs.

PANEL 1

Blueshirt, walking next to Shorthair, is talking to Pigtails. Pigtails has turned back to talk to Blueshirt. All three are smiling, but Pigtails is holding up a hand in a “please stop” gesture.

BLUESHIRT: Excuse me, I just wanted to say, it’s so inspiring seeing you walk your dog despite your disability!

PIGTAILS: Please don’t.

PANEL 2

A closer shot of just Pigtails as she cheerfully explains.

PIGTAILS: When strangers say I’m “inspiring,” they mean they’re amazed I can do normal human things.

PIGTAILS: Like I’m a video of a cat walking on its hind legs!

PANEL 3

A long shot shows Pigtails waving goodbye as she and her dog walk away. Blueshirt and Shorthair are silent, and look a little bit remorseful.

PIGTAILS: I don’t want to be your inspiration, okay? I just want to walk my dog.

PIGTAILS: Have a good day.

PANEL 4

A closer shot of Blueshirt and Shorthair; Pigtails is no longer here. Blueshirt is grinning, her eyes wide, clasping her hands together on her chest. Shorthair is smiling as she holds up her smartphone, taking a photo.

BLUESHIRT: The way she chewed us out? So inspiring!

SHORTHAIR: I can’t wait to post this on Facebook!


This post on Patreon

Posted in Ableism |

You’re So Brave, I’d Rather Be Dead

Cartoon by Barry


Help me make more cartoons at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. The first five panel shows a woman with blue hair with a thin pink streak, thin oval glasses, and arms that end slightly above where her elbows would be. In each panel she appears, she’s in a different setting talking to a different person. I’m going to call her GLASSES.

PANEL 1

A caption at the top of the panel says “Monday.” A brown-haired woman, hands clutched together in front of her chin, is anxiously staring at Glasses. Glasses, who was walking and is wearing a backpack, turns back to look at the woman.

ANXIOUS: You’re so brave. I’d rather die than live like that!

GLASSES: Um… Thank you?

PANEL 2

A caption says “Tuesday.” In a grocery store, a muscular man in a sleeveless tee, who is pushing a grocery cart, talks loudly at Glasses. He is between Glasses and the shelf, and Glasses is gesturing towards the shelf behind him, looking a little annoyed.

MUSCLES: I can’t imagine being you. I’d rather be dead.

GLASSES: Dude, I just want some Pop Tarts.

PANEL 3

A caption says “Wednesday.” Glasses is seating in the… what do you call those things? The sort of built-in stadium seating some college lecture halls have, with a series of long curved benches and desks, each one on a higher level as they get further from the front of the room, so everyone has a good view of the professor. Glasses has a laptop open on the desk in front of her. We can see a couple of bored looking students in the row behind Glasses.  Next to Glasses is a man wearing a jacket, one of those “image of a necktie” tee shirts, with his black hair in a long ponytail and an expression of extreme disgust. Glasses looks very annoyed as she responds to him.

PONYTAIL: I couldn’t stand not wiping my own butt. I’d die first!

GLASSES: Shockingly, butt wiping isn’t actually the pinnacle of human existence.

PANEL 4

A caption says “Thursday.” Glasses walks down a city sidewalk, a cartoon cloud indicating grumpiness floating above her. Behind her, a man wearing sandals and pants with torn knees, and carrying a shopping bag, grins as he talks at her; she doesn’t even bother turning back to look.

SANDALS: It’s inspiring that you haven’t committed suicide.

PANEL 5

A caption says “Friday.” An older couple, a man and a woman, are looking at Glasses; the man, wide-eyed, is speaking, but is cut off by Glasses yelling at him, leaning forward angrily.

MAN: I’d rather be dead than-

GLASSES: I don’t want to die. I have a great life! Except for ablebodied people telling me my life isn’t worth living!

PANEL 6

The “camera” pulls back to show the man and woman now standing by themselves; Glasses, it is implied, has stomped off and left the scene. The man and woman look annoyed as they look in the direction Glasses went.

MAN: Those people are so rude!

WOMAN: Obviously it’s the disability that makes her so angry.

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites |

Dear (Some Of) My Fellow Lefties

Cartoon by Barry


Support my Patreon and help me make more cartoons! A $1 pledge matters a lot to me.


TRANSCRIPT OF COMIC

This comic strip has nine panels. The first eight panels each show a single character (a different character in each panel), speaking to the viewer.

PANEL 1

There is a caption at the top of panel 1.

CAPTION: Dear (some of) my fellow lefties:

The art shows a man sitting at a desk, laughing. He’s wearing a white collared shirt and a necktie.

MAN: Ann Coulter is a man! Haw haw!

PANEL 2

An older woman, with white hair and a floral-print blouse, is holding up her hands and laughing, as if she’s telling a joke.

WOMAN: Clarence Thomas’ parents should have named him “Tom.” Get it? Like Uncle Tom?\

WOMAN: As a white liberal, it’s totally my place to say that!

PANEL 3

A man with an enormous beard, wearing sunglasses, a bowler hat, and a coat with big puffs around the collar and wrists, speaks to the viewer, smiling. There’s a bike parked next to him.

MAN: I bet all these anti-gay conservatives are secretly gay!

MAN: Let’s laugh at them for being gay!

MAN: (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

PANEL 4

A thin woman, wearing a red knit cap, a hoodie, and hoop earrings, is speaking angrily.

WOMAN: Trump just keeps pulling lies out of his big fat ass!

WOMAN: God fat people disgust me!

WOMAN: Er… I meant, Trump disgusts me!

WOMAN: Whichever!

PANEL 5

A man, wearing glasses and a “this is what a feminist looks like” tee shirt, stands pointing to something on the screen of his tablet. There’s a hillside with paths and a couple of trees behind him.

MAN: When I see pro-life women, I think, who’d even want to get them pregnant?

PANEL 6

A person sits at a small round table, a coffee mug in front of them. They have heavily tattooed arms, the side of their head is shaved, and they’re wearing a small ring on their nose and several more in their ear. They’re smiling and holding one hand up to their mouth as if telling a dirty joke.

PERSON: Guys obsessed with protecting big guns are just making up for they lack downstairs, ifyaknowwhatImean.

PERSON: You do know what I mean, right?

PERSON: I mean penises!

PANEL 7

A woman stands outdoors, dressed for a cool day. She’s got a jacket, a scarf, and a big knit hat. She’s looking a bit aggravated as she speaks.

WOMAN: You know who votes Republican? Inbred, flyover state hillbilly retards!

PANEL 8

A redheaded man sits on a curb, leaning on one hand. He’s wearing a button-up collared shirt, open, over a striped long-sleeved tee. He’s grinning.

MAN: I love it when right-wingers get sent to prison. “Don’t drop the soap!” Ha!

PANEL 9

There is no art in this panel. Instead, the entire panel is black, except for a caption in big white letters.

CAPTION: Shut up and get the hell off my side.


This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

Too Much Foam

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these cartoons, and can spare it, please support my Patreon!


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

Panel one shows a woman in a polka-dot dress sitting in a coffee shop, glaring down at her cappuccino.

WOMAN (thought): Aw, darn it. They put too much foam on my cappuccino!

Panel 2 shows a bald man in the foreground, sitting at a different table, reading something on his smartphone. He is sitting on a power chair, and he has no right arm. There’s a cappuccino in front of him. In the background, we can see the woman from panel one, staring at the bald man with a shocked expression.

WOMAN (thought): Oh wow – that guy has no legs and only one arm! How does he even get out of bed in the morning?

Panel 3 shows the woman, head in hands, looking aghast.

WOMAN (thought): He has to psend every minute of his life figuring out how to manage with just one arm… and I’m thinking about foam! I SUCK!

Panel 4 shows the bald man again. He has picked up his cappuccino and is looking annoyed.

MAN (thought): They put too much foam on my cappuccino!

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites |

What If All The Defaults Were Reset?

Cartoon by Barry

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Transcript of cartoon:

What If All The Defaults Were Reset?

Panel 1

(A suspicious-looking young white man in a sweater, arms crossed, is listening to a magical fairy, who is speaking earnestly to him while hovering in the air on her two small wings. The Fairy is dark-skinned, has her head shaved except for a little poof of hair on top, has no arms below the elbows, and has two little feathered wings.)

FAIRY: When you’re not the “societal default” – white, straight, male, cis, etc – it’s like a thousand little weights!

Panel 2

(Sweater-dude looks angry, and has lifted his arms in the air to make a point.)

SWEATER-DUDE: You minorities always make a big deal out of nothing… I’m sure it’s not hard to handle!

Panel 3

(The Fairy, a wild grin on her face, casts a spell – we know because a caption says “casting cool magic spell” – and a big cloud of magic smoke appears where Sweater-Dude was.)

FAIRY: Okay, let’s see!

Panels 4-13
(These panels form a giant circle. They can be read starting with any panel.)

Panel 4

(A man with an eyepatch puts his hands on his face in a gesture of astonishment.)

MAN: You identify as the sex you were assigned at birth? Whoa! So what does your junk look like?

Panel 5

(A fat woman with cat’s eye glasses and a striped crop top is giving instructions with a cheerful, helpful demeanor..)

WOMAN: If you’d just stop undereating you could be fat. You can do it!

Panel 6

(An irritated looking woman with curly hair, arms akimbo, is asking a question.)

WOMAN: ¡Habla español! Esto es América!

Panel 7
(An older woman with a punk haircut makes a shrugging “what can we do?” gesture.)

WOMAN: Sure, nearly all the Senators and CEOs are women. But how is that sexist against men?

Panel 8

(A young person with tattoos looks anxious as they speak.)

WOMAN: Have you tried being queer? Really really tried? I only ask because I want you to be happy!

Panel 9

(An older woman looks up from a TV Guide, looking puzzled..)

WOMAN: Why would anyone watch a TV show about young people?

Panel 10

(A cheerful man wearing a yarmulke is giving helpful advice. His hands are flapping in the air around his face.)

MAN: Couldn’t you just try making stimming gestures? You don’t want to seem weird!

Panel 11

(A woman holds her hand over her mouth in a gesture of dismay and astonishment.)

WOMAN: You like sex? That must be so hard.

Panel 12

(A man in a wheelchair spreads out his hands to indicate being impressed..)

MAN: You walk everywhere? Wow! I could never live like that!

Panel 13

(A young Black woman looks at the viewer with a friendly “just asking questions” expression.)

WOMAN: Why do white people talk with that accent? And can I touch your hair?

Panel 14

(This panel is surrounded by the circle formed by panels 4-13. It shows Sweater-Dude, wide-eyed and panicked, hands on the sides of his face.)

SWEATER-DUDE: What’s happening?

Panel 15
(This panel, occupying the bottom third of the comic, shows the Fairy speaking directly to the viewer. In the background, we can see Sweater-Dude, with the giant circle formed by panels 4-13 on his back. Sweater-Dude is trembling with the effort of holding up so much weight.)

FAIRY: If you have to lift this weight every day of your entire life…

Plus the weight of historical inequalities plus the weight of institutional oppression…

It can all add up to a crushing load!

If that weight looks petty to you … Maybe that’s because it’s not on your back.

Posted in Ableism, Fat Acceptance, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

Why Feminists Shouldn’t Use “Neckbeard”

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, please support them on Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

(At the top of the cartoon, large cartoon-style letters spell out “NECKBEARD.” Each letter is growing stubble hairs out of its lowest third.)

(Behind all the panels is a large drawing of a fat person, mostly in darkness. The person has an exaggerated neck, and has stubble covering their lip, chin and neck.)

Panel 1

(BARRY – a fat white man with glasses, pulled-back hair in a ponytail, and a t-shirt with an exclamation point on it, is speaking directly to the reader. Barry’s face has a lot of stubble.)

CAPTION: What’s a “Neckbeard?”
BARRY: Maybe you’ve never heard the word “neckbeard.”
But in some corners of the internet, it’s a common insult.

Panel 2

(A close-up on Barry’s neck shows a lot of stubble growing there.)

BARRY: Taken literally, neckbeard just means someone with beard hairs growing on his neck.

Panel 3

(The word “loser” appears floating in the air around Barry’s head, with Barry’s head taking the place of the “O.”)

BARRY: But what’s inplied is that he’s a fat loser, lives in a basement, never had a girlfriend, and so on.

Panel 4

(A full-color drawing, drawn in a different style than the rest of the comic, is shown in this panel. The drawing depicts a fat, unshaven, shirtless man sitting in a windowless room that feels like a basement, laughing as he types on his computer. A poster in the background says “Internet Arguments Won” and has fifty handdrawn checkmarks; other decorations include a picture of Richard Dawkins, a fedora lying on the desk, a My Little Pony figurine, and a few atheist logos.)

BARRY (off-panel): Here’s a popular drawing – I don’t know who the artist is, sorry – of a “neckbeard.” You get the idea.

Panel 5

(Barry stands between a bald man with a van dyke beard, and a young woman with fashionable hair; they appear to be yelling at each other.)

BARRY: I find it fascinating that both lefties and right-wingers use “neckbeard” to insult the other.
It’s like the only thing that unites us is our shared contempt for fat, unkempt guys.

Panel 6

(Barry, now alone, addresses the reader directly, with an “asking a question” expression.)

BARRY: When feminists call someone a “neckbeard,” it’s usually a guy who just said something misogynistic.
I’m all for criticizing misogynists, but I have to ask – why use that word?

Panel 7
(Barry is holding up a suitcase. The suitcase is labeled “neckbeard.”)

BARRY: Let’s unpack neckbeard and see what’s inside!
Insults like “neckbeard” work by associating the target of the insult, with something understood to be repulsive.

Panel 8

(A close-up of the “neckbeard” suitcase shows it standing open. Four blobs, labeled “fat” “loser” “ugly” and “dork,” are emerging from the suitcase.)

BARRY(off-panel): It’s not satisfying to call people “anti-feminists,” because some people like anti-feminism. Instead, we use words that suggest things almost no one likes: “loser,” “fat,” “ugly.”

Panel 9

(A close-up of Barry, drawn to exaggerate his unshaven neck.)

BARRY: In short, “neckbeard.”

Panel 10

(Barry spreads his arms wide to make a big point.)

BARRY: But in a better society – a society most feminists want – none of the things neckbeard implies would be insults.

Panel 11

(Barry speaks to the viewer, but his neck (and only his neck) is now covered by a thick beard.)

BARRY: We shouldn’t insult people for being fat, or for not being able to afford their own place, or for being single.
Or for not conforming to society’s arbitrary grooming standards, for that matter.

Panel 12

(Once again we see the popular drawing of a “neckbeard” that appeared in panel 4. But this time he’s been drawn in a style that matches the comic strip. Three arrow captions point to him.)

BARRY(off-panel): There’s nothing inherently wrong with any of that. Good people can be all those things.
ARROW CAPTION 1: Donates to feminist causes.
ARROW CAPTION 2: Always kind.
ARROW CAPTION 3: Loves kittens.

Panel 13

(Barry leans over to look into the inside of the “neckbeard” suitcase.)

BARRY: If we keep unpacking “neckbeard,” we’ll find three more things in here…
First, the “neckbeard” stereotypes are also stereotypes used against autistic people.

Panel 14

(A shot of two jigsaw puzzle pieces, which fit together perfectly. The pieces are labeled “autistic” and “neckbeard.”)

BARRY (off-panel): In fact, when I was researching this cartoon, some autistic people told me they’ve observed “autistic” and “neckbeard” used together as insults.

Panel 15
(Barry addresses the reader directly, his hands in front of him in an “explaining” gesture.)

BARRY: Some (not all) autistic people have difficulty with things like earning a living, dating, and navigating arbitrary grooming rules. “Neckbeard” targets exactly those traits.

Panel 16

(A person with dark, springy hair jumps back from a sign which says “keep out!” in big letters.)

BARRY(off-panel): When we use “neckbeard,” it sends a message to autistic people that they’re unwelcome. It’s ableist as hell!

Panel 17
(A grinning white dude is wearing a “poor person” costume, which consists of a sleevless white shirt, with a pillow shoved under it to make him appear fat. He has makeup on his face and neck to simulate heavy stubble, and is holding out a cup with “give” written on it.)

BARRY(off-panel): Second, insults about grooming are clearly linked to ugly stereotypes about class.
GRINNING DUDE: For Halloween, I’m dressed as a poor person!

Panel 18

(A smiling, confident-looking woman with a full beard and her hair in a bun puts her hand on her chest in a “I am awesome” gesture.”)

BARRY(off-panel): Third, even though some women do grow face and neck hair…
WOMAN: And look awesome with it!

Panel 19

(Barry is drawn to be a circle-and-arrow “male” symbol.)

BARRY: “Neckbeard” is still intended as a gendered insult, and that’s a problem.
Because people’s sex or gender shouldn’t be insults at all.

Panel 20

BARRY: Do I think “neckbeard” is as bad as gendered insults that “punch down,” like b**** and c***? Definitely not.
But consider this: men who like conventional gender roles aren’t usually bothered by gendered insults.

Panel 21

(Barry now has a huge arrow symbol piercing his chest. The arrow is labeled “neckbeard.”)

BARRY: Guys who are hurt by anti-male insults, are often guys who are already wounded by toxic masculinity.
Why add to that?

Panel 22

(An unshaven fat man with a dorky grin, wearing a fedora hat and a sleeveless white shirt, points to himself with his thumb.)

BARRY(off-panel): One final point: When we stereotype misogynists by saying they look like this….

Panel 23

(A conventionally handsome man, with “good” scruffy stubble and a neck tattoo, smiles out at the viewer.)

BARRY: That implicitly lets misogynists who look like this off the hook.

Panel 24

(For the final three panels, Barry speaks directly at the viewer. In this panel, he looks a bit angry)

BARRY: Maybe it would be better if no one resorted to insults… But let’s get real. Everyone loses their temper sometimes. That’s life.

Panel 25
(Barry, no longer looking angry, shrugs.)

BARRY: But let’s at least avoid insults that devalue people for their appearance… and that can make fat people and autistic people feel unwelcome.

Panel 26

(Barry, smiling, lifts his left hand to feel his cheek.)

BARRY: Thanks for listening!
(Hmmm… Do I need a shave?)

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance |