Being Foxy About Vaccines

Cartoon by Barry

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This cartoon is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins.

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TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show the anchors of a conservative news show, a man and a woman, both of whom are well-dressed and have very carefully styled hair. They’re sitting at a news desk and talking to the camera, with a backdrop of a cityscape behind them. A chyron (text) runs across the bottom of the screen.

PANEL 1

We’re in a darkened living room. We can see a TV dinner, partly eaten, on a tray in the foreground; in the background is a TV, surrounded by a liquor cabinet on the left and a houseplant on a chest of drawers on the right. The TV is turned on, providing the only bright colors in the panel. The male anchor is making air quotes with his fingers, while the female anchor is holding out her hand in a “stop!” gesture.

MAN: Unelected government “doctors” say we need this “vaccine.” but what aren’t they saying?

WOMAN: Don’t trust government! Don’t trust doctors!

PANEL 2

We are now seeing just what’s on the TV screen. The male anchor has turned towards the female anchor and is speaking to her, one hand waving in a sort of “angry questioning” motion. The female anchor has folded her hands on the desk in front of her and is speaking directly to the camera.

MAN: Who knows what horrible side effects these experimental “vaccines” have?

WOMAN: Stay tuned! We’ll be back in just a minute!

PANEL 3

Our vantage point has pulled back. We’re now obviously in a TV studio; we can see cameras and microphones pointing at the two anchors, and the slightly-raised platform the anchor desk sits on. There’s a large bright green screen behind them, instead of a cityscape.

Two people in nurse’s scrubs, both wearing face masks, have come up to the desk. Both anchors have taken their jackets off, and he’s rolled up a sleeve (her blouse is sleeveless). The nurses are injecting medicine into their arms.

The male anchor is smiling cheerfully, while the female anchor speaks to her nurse with a concerned expression.

MAN: Thanks. Better safe than sorry, right?

WOMAN: How long until the booster after this one?

PANEL 4

We’re once again looking at them as they appear on a TV screen; the cityscape backdrop is back. They’re both looking angry and gesturing towards the screen with extreme foreshortening; he’s holding a finger up near the screen, and she’s pointing straight at the screen like Uncle Sam.

MAN: These “needle Nazis” are trying to force you to take their so-called “vaccine”!

WOMAN: DON’T LET THEM!

CHYRONS

What the chyrons (the crawl of text across the bottom of the TV screen) say. (The second line of each chyron is cut off on one or both sides of the screen, to simulate the words scrolling across the screen.)

Panel 1: EXPERTS: VACCINE WILL KILL POPE

…t’s gonna happen any day now we’re triple sure this time…

Panel 2: DELILAH INNOCENT!

…vaccine, not haircut, caused Samson to lose his streng…

There’s no Chyron in panel 3.

Panel 4: ARE VACCINES FULL OF LIVE ANTS?

…re not saying they are but we’re not saying they aren’t…

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Being Foxy About Vaccines on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives, COVID-19, Media criticism, Right-wingers |

Now!

Cartoon by Barry

I can make these cartoons because of readers supporting my Patreon. Join us!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All four panels show two people, one bald and stubbled, the other with shoulder-length black hair and glasses, walking through a hilly park area. Both of them are wearing face masks. A third person – not with them but a little distance away – has neatly combed hair and is not wearing a mask.

PANEL 1

Stubble and Glasses walk and talk. Glasses is holding up a finger to make a point, and Stubble is clasping his hands together and looking skyward in a hopeful manner. Well behind them, Combed is waving a hand and yelling towards them.

GLASSES: People are getting vaccinated! If we can stay safe for another three or four months, we can beat Covid!

STUBBLE: I dream of eating in a restaurant again!

COMBED: I want restaurants open now!

PANEL 2

Stubble and Glasses walk on, Glasses looking a little worried, and Stubble glancing back over his shoulder at Combed, who is now definitely following them.

GLASSES: I wish it was quicker. But we can mask a little longer.

COMBED: I don’t want to wear a mask.

PANEL 3

Now Glasses is glancing back. Stubble is facing forward and walking quicker. Behind them, Combed is jogging after them and yelling.

COMBED: I have a right to live like nothing has happened!

COMBED: I DEMAND NORMALICY! I DEMAND IT NOW!

STUBBLE (quietly): Just keep walking.

PANEL 4

In the foreground, Glasses and Stubble are walking on without looking behind them. Glasses is saying something to Stubbles; Stubbles is looking downcast, with his hands shoved into his jacket pockets. Well behind them, Combed is no longer following them, and his just screaming and railing at no one in particular.

GLASSES: We are so fucked.

COMBED: NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!

Posted in COVID-19 |

Covid is Made Up by Greedy Hospitals! A True Story.

Cartoon by Barry

I can only make these cartoons because people support them on Patreon! Most only pledge a dollar or two – but collectively, they make these cartoons happen, which is awesome. Join us! One of us… one of us… one of us…

Many thanks to Jake Richmond (who also drew the Capitalism/Socialism cartoon back in April) for the great job he did with this strip. Jake’s a terrific cartoonist who knows me very well in real life, so he was a natural choice to draw this strip, and I’m very happy with how it came out.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels. The first four panels are square-shaped, arranged in a two by two grid. The fifth panel is twice as wide as the other four.

PANEL 1

Large, friendly lettering at the top of panel 1 says “A TRUE STORY.” Below that, we see someone’s hand pressing a key on a laptop. On the screen of the laptop is some sort of split-screen video conferencing, on which two people – a red headed woman and a dark-haired man with a beard, who is me, Barry – are talking. They both look cheerful.

REDHEAD: Hospitals made up COVID! Becuase they can charge more for COVID than for a flu.

PANEL 2

We’ve switched to another room, where Barry is sitting on a chair in front of a desktop computer. On the computer screen we can see Redhead. Barry, smiling, has his hands in front of him in a “let me explain” gesture while he talks.

BARRY: But between nurses, doctors, and hospital administrators, there’d have to be tens of thousands people in the conspiracy!

BARRY: Something that big can’t be kept secret! Hundreds of people would have leaked it by now!

PANEL 3

We see Redhead, sitting in front of her open laptop as she responds. She’s holding a cat in her lap with one hand, and with the other she’s holding up a forefinger in a “let me make this telling point” sort of gesture. She’s smiling cheerfully, almost laughing. The backside of the laptop is facing us, so we can’t see the screen, but Barry’s word balloon points to the laptop.

REDHEAD: I read a doctor saying it. So it hasn’t been kept secret.

BARRY: You can always find a few people saying anything! Some people say the moon landing was faked!

PANEL 4

A shot of Barry at his computer; Barry looks very taken aback (open mouth, wide eyes). We’re looking at the back of the monitor, so we don’t see Redhead on the monitor, but her word balloon points to the monitor.

REDHEAD: Well, yeah. The moon landing was faked.

PANEL 5

A complete change of scene. We are now out in a park, with trees and green grass and wooden picnic tables. Barry and a friend (not the same person as Redhead) are talking. They are both wearing masks; Barry is standing, and about six feet away, his friend is sitting at a picnic table.

Barry’s wearing a different shirt now, so probably at least a day has passed since panel 4.

BARRY: So that’s when I gave up on arguing with people.

FRIEND: Mmm

Posted in COVID-19 |

The Bullshit Tragedy

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A man wearing a red baseball-style hat is in the foreground, yelling with brown spittle flying out of his mask. He’s yelling at two “Black Lives Matters” protesters, one holding a bullhorn and the other a BLM sign. The two protesters are wearing face masks; he is not.

MAGA DUDE: What about blue lives? All lives matter! You’re the real racists! If you can protest, why can’t we invade the capital? Double standards!

BLM DUDE: What? No!

PANEL 2

The MAGA dude’s mouth has turned into a spout, shooting out foul brown liquid like a firehose, soaking the bullhorn protester (who has raised her arms to block it) while the other protester tries to shield himself with his protest sign.

MAGA DUDE: It was a stolen election! Everyone knows Trump won in a landslide! Real Americans won’t stand for this!

BLM WOMAN: Aaaah! Stop it!

PANEL 3

As the MAGA dude continues yelling, the degusting, thick brown liquid is pouring out of is mouth in a torrent that is flooding the landscape. He seems able to stand in it fine; the two BLM protesters, however, are struggling to keep their heads above the surface, and are in danger of drowning.

MAGA DUDE: The violence was antifa in disguise! Trump was backstabbed by critical race theory wokes! Masks are totalitarian illiberal losers sad fake news…

BLM WOMAN: Help me!

BLM DUDE: Arrgh!

PANEL 4

We’re looking at a smart phone being held by someone’s hand. On the smartphone, we can see a female newscaster with very carefully styled hair talking with a disturbed expression. A graphic in a box next to her head says “Holy Crap”.  Another graphic, at the bottom of the screen, says “ZNY News.” There are two horizontal scrolling chyrons at the bottom of the screen; the first says “…udy shows nobody reads chryon te…” and the second says “…ZNY news is your only real friend you…”

NEWSCASTER: Tragedy struct today as the public square was literally drowned in bullshit.

Posted in COVID-19, Kevin Moore collaborations |

Why Aren’t You Wearing A Mask?

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. In each panel, a different white person speaks directly to the viewer. In addition, a seventh, small “kicker” panel is underneath the final panel.

PANEL 1

Most of this panel is taken up by a large caption. In big, friendly lettering, it says “Why aren’t you wearing a MASK?”

Below the caption, an older-looking man in a polo shirt and wearing a “MAGA” hat holds up his hand dismissively, an angry expression on his face.

MAN: Why bother? Once Biden wins, they’ll announce a “cure” the next day.

PANEL 2

A man with a wide grin, wearing a fleece vest over a long-sleeved shirt, has a mask down around his neck, which he is pointing to with one hand.

MAN: I am wearing a mask! Around my neck IS wearing it!

MAN: Ha-HAH! You’re wiggling in the mighty claws of my invincible logic!

PANEL 3

A woman with long blonde hair, wearing a shirt with short, puffy sleeves and a red skirt with a pattern of white dots, stands with her arms folded, looking angry. Behind her is a stone wall, with some trees visible above the top of the wall.

WOMAN: Early on scientists said NOT to wear masks. When scientists change their minds because they’ve learned more, that PROVES they can’t be trusted!

PANEL 4

A man with very round wide eyes, and a huge wide grin, holds up a forefinger to point at the sky. There are clouds in the background; coming out of one of the clouds is God’s head, drawn as an older Black woman, looking down at him.

MAN: If God wanted us to wear masks, we’d be born wearing masks, right?

GOD: Nope nope that’s totally wrong.

PANEL 5

A hand holds a smart phone. On the phone’s screen, a young man in a plaid shirt over a black tee-shirt speaks with a wide mouth, waving his arms in the air.

MAN: Masks are a CHINESE GLOBALIST BILL GATES BIOWEAPON ATTACK ON OUR FREEDOM! And that’s just SCIENCE!

PANEL 6

A balding man, wearing a collared shirt with a necktie and an open vest, speaks angrily, pointing to himself with one of his thumbs.

MAN: A MASK? Do I LOOK like a woman to you?

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE COMIC

The “do I look like a woman to you” man, looking a little confused, is speaking to Barry the cartoonist. Barry is wearing a surgical-style mask.

MAN: Toxic mascu-WHAT now?

Posted in COVID-19 |

Do We Blame the Chinese or the Jews?

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, help me make more at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.

I wish I could say that I’m making up these conspiracy theories, I really do. But I’m not. I’m really not. The “secret Chinese weapons program” myth was even spread by Senator Tom Cotton.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

A shot of a computer monitor on a desk or table of some sort. (I just noticed that I forgot to draw any cables or anything coming from the monitor. Oops!) There’s a coffee mug, with a spoon in it and a smiley face on it, on the table in front of the monitor.

The screen is divided into three windows, each of which shows a different person; in other words, this is a Zoom conversation. The upper left window shows a guy wearing a black tee shirt under an open plaid shirt. The upper right window shows an extreme closeup of a man’s face, shot from below; he’s wearing rectangular glasses. And the bottom window shows a fat man with nice-looking fluffy hair, who is wearing a button-up collared shirt with a necktie.

PLAID is waving his arms with a distressed expression; GLASSES is sneering; and FLUFFY is smiling silently.

PLAID: Coronavirus was caused by Jews! God’s punishing them for rejecting Christ, and it’s spread to the rest of us!

GLASSES: Ridiculous! Everyone knows the virus was created in a secret Chinese weapons lab!

PANEL 2

We’re now looking at Plaid in profile, as he leans forward a bit to yell angrily at his monitor, shaking a forefinger at the monitor. On his monitor, distorted because it’s in perspective, we can barely see Glasses angrily yelling back, and Fluffy smiling as he talks.

PLAID: A secret Chinese weapons lab controlled by Jews!

GLASSES: Chinese!

FLUFFY: Hey, fellas, come on!

PANEL 3

A shot of Fluffy, in an upper-middle-class-looking living room; there’s an armchair, a window with curtains and a potted plant on the windowsill; a coffee mug on a table with an open book beside it. Fluffy is standing and speaking at a tablet in his left hand, still smiling pleasantly. We can now see that he’s not wearing pants, and his boxer shorts have a little hearts pattern.

FLUFFY: A pandemic is no time to be divisive. More than ever, we need to compromise and get along. What do you say, Bob?

PANEL 4

Almost the same shot as panel one, showing the monitor with three windows on it. PLAID has picked up the smiley face coffee mug and is looking more sedate as he talks. Fluffy and Glasses are both agreeing cheerfully.

PLAID: All right… But can the next pandemic be about Jews?

FLUFFY: Absolutely!

GLASSES: I’ll be there with swastikas on!

Posted in COVID-19, Racism & Racists |

Which Economic System Prevents Pandemics?

Cartoon by Barry

Welcome to my friend and now collaborator Frank Young, who colored this cartoon. There’s no way I could do justice to Frank’s resume – cartoonist, novelist, former editor of the Comics Journal, author of many nonfiction books about classic comics, and curator of many fine collections of classic comics.

The first time Frank colored this cartoon, he colored it like a regular cartoon – you know, with actual colors and stuff. I had to ask him to try again, this time using the sort of very limited palettes I usually prefer. I’m very happy with how the finished cartoon came out.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a small “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip.

Each of the panels shows the same scene; two humans, and an anthropomorphized coronavirus (with a perfectly round head and little things sticking out of the head in every direction). Other than that, the corona virus has an ordinary human body.

The two humans are a woman with shoulder-length hair, wearing a turtleneck and a skirt with a floral pattern; and a woman with glasses, black bobbed hair (like Lucy from Peanuts), and a sleeveless dress over a striped short-sleeved shirt.

They’re sitting around a little round table with two cups of coffee on it. The two women are arguing. The coronavirus is just looking ahead blankly, not seeming to pay attention to what the women are saying.

PANEL 1

GLASSES: It’s not a coincidence that cornonavirus began in a communist country. An unfettered free market wouldn’t have-

TURTLENECK: That’s crap!

PANEL 2

TURTLENECK: Single payer could have prevented this!

GLASSES: Socialized medicine didn’t save Italy, Spain and Germany!

PANEL 3

The same scene. The two women are leaning into their argument, their noses almost touching. The coronavirus, still without much expression, lifts a forefinger and speaks.

TURTLENECK: Just like capitalism didn’t-

GLASSES: How can you ignore-

CORONAVIRUS: Can I say something?

PANEL 4

Silent panel.

The chair coronavirus was sitting in is empty, and coronavirus is not in this panel.

The two women slump against the table and chairs, dead. (They have little “X”s for eyes, cartoon symbols for being dead.) An overturned coffee mug on the table is spilling over the side of the table.

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

Two middle-aged men talk; one of them is Barry, the cartoonist. The first man looks inquisitive; Barry responds cheerfully.

MAN: So you’re saying both sides are equally bad?

BARRY: The phrase “fuck no” is woefully inadequate.

Posted in COVID-19, Economic cartoons |

Sometimes It Feels Like Coronavirus Has Always Been With Us

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these cartoons, be part of making more! Support the patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, each showing a different scene.

PANEL 1

Most of this panel is taken up by very large, rough lettering, the title of the cartoon. “SOMETIMES IT FEELS LIKE CORONAVIRUS HAS ALWAYS BEEN WITH US.”

In the bottom of the comic, a woman is leaning on her elbows, looking wistfully out an upper floor window of a house.

WOMAN (thought): I can’t remember the last time I put on pants.

PANEL 2

In the foreground, a woman in a Shakespearean-style gown is frantically washing her hands and yelling. Behind her, a man peeks through a doorway, holding up a forefinger in a “making a point” gesture and speaking very cheerfully. They are Lady Macbeth and Macbeth.

LADY MACBETH: OUT, DAMNED SPOT! OUT I SAY!

MACBETH: Remember to do that for at least twenty seconds, hon!

PANEL 3

The panel shows several people hanging on crosses in Rome sometime in the first century. In the foreground, a well-off looking Roman man, dressed in robes, is giving an order to a Roman soldier, who is wearing a helmet and carrying a large wooden mallet. In the background, one of the people hanging on a cross speaks cheerfully towards the two in the foreground.

ROMAN DUDE: Make sure the crosses are six feet apart.

MAN ON CROSS: Thank you for caring!

PANEL 4

Inside a cave, a cartoon caveman, wearing a shirt-thing made out of some animal with a spotted pattern on its fur, and carrying a big rough club, is speaking to a laptop computer which is open on top of a boulder. On the laptop’s screen, we can see another caveman. The first caveman, slapping a hand to his forehead, has a distressed expression.

CAVEMAN: I haven’t left my cave in weeks!

CAVEMEN ON LAPTOP: Me either!

Posted in COVID-19 |