The Kitchen Table Cycle

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has three panels, arranged in a circle, with arrows pointing clockwise leading from one panel to the next. In the center of the circle is a large caption, saying “The Kitchen Table Cycle.”

UPPER LEFT PANEL

This panel shows a smartphone. On the smartphone screen, an angry man wearing a suit and tie is talking.

MAN: The only thing the Democratic candidate ever talks about is trans issues! Trans trans trans!

An arrow leads from this to the

LOWER RIGHT PANEL

Three Democrats sit in a treehouse; a sign on the treehouse says “Democrat Strategy Meeting (No progressives allowed). One of them is speaking.

SPEAKER: The pundits say we lost by talking too much about “identity politics.” Next time, our candidate has to be a centrist who only talks about kitchen table issues!

An arrow leads from this to the

LOWER LEFT PANEL

A politician stands behind a podium giving a speech.

CANDIDATE: As your Democratic candidate, let me just say: Kitchen table! Kitchen Table! Kitchen Table!

An arrow leads from this back to the upper left panel with the cellphone.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is old-fashioned cartoonist speak for little extras in the cartoon.

UPPER LEFT PANEL: The Fox News logo says “Cur Fews. Go to bed.” The chyron says “Democrats hate all puppies” and the second chyron says “New science proves: everything is still Biden’s fault.” Below the Fox News screen, there are six thumbnails leading to suggested videos. The thumbnail captions read: Owned! Crushed! Cooked! Demolished! Murderized! And then, in smaller letters, “I attempted to refute their position with persuasive arguments.”

LOWER RIGHT PANEL: The treehouse is modeled after the treehouse in my favorite comic strip of all time, “Calvin and Hobbes.” There’s a hole in the tree trunk; in the hole is a giant rat wearing a top hat and bow tie.

LOWER LEFT PANEL: The seal on the front of the podium has a picture of Sam the Eagle from the Muppets (it’s a little hard to make out because of the foreshortening, alas). The paper lying on the podium says “Tiny print no one reads.”

The Kitchen Table Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Cycle cartoons, Elections |

The Getting Tough on Crime Cycle

Cartoon by Barry

Check out the timelapse drawing video for this one!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

A large, shadowy, and vaguely monstrous businessman looms in the background, counting a wad of money, representing the private prison industry. Three smaller scenes play out in front of this menacing figure, each featuring a police officer interacting with Uncle Sam, who is seated behind a desk. Arrows lead from scene to scene.

• Panel 1 (Left): Uncle Sam looks frustrated, gesturing with his hand as if explaining a problem.  He says, “We have to reduce crime – which means being tough on crime! Put more people in jail!” A police officer listens.
• Panel 2 (Top): The cop reports back to Uncle Sam, “Good news! We’ve put way more people in prison than any other country!” Uncle Sam gleefully responds, “Excellent! So now we’ve got the lowest crime rates?”
• Panel 3 (Bottom): The cop says, “No, we’ve got much more violent crime than other rich countries.” Sam looks let down.

  An arrow leads from panel three back to panel one.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is ye olde cartoonists’ talk for unimportant details we put in for funsies.

PANEL 1: A mouse is peeking out from below the desk. A big jug marked “XXX” is on the desk. The circular design on the front of the desk says “Official seal of the United States,” and shows a head of a proud seal. Uncle’s Sam’s shirt has a pattern of Lisa Simpson heads.

PANEL 2 – The circular seal in front of the desk now has a drawing of a smiling Stephen Sondheim, and the words say “Sondheim the G.O.A.T.” Uncle Sam’s shirt is kind of incomprehensible this time – it’s a pattern of a straight razor crossing a rolling pin, a reference to Sondheim’s amazing musical Sweeney Todd.

PANEL 3 – Uncle Sam’s shirt has a pattern of Sally heads (Sally from “Peanuts”). The mug on his desk says “World’s Best Hegemon.” The magazine on his desk, in print way too tiny to read, is named “Exceptionalism Weekly.” The main story is “40 ways we’re better than everyone.” The secondary story is “We Want To Believe Our Murder Rate Isn’t Caused By Guns – and therefore it isn’t!” The magazine cover also has a photo of a grinning person waving a giant foam hand with “#1” printed on it.

BIG DUDE IN BACKGROUND – The tiny print on the money says “Feed Me Seymour.” The portrait on the front is a portrait of Groucho Marx.

The Getting Tough On Crime Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Cycle cartoons |

The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, arranged so that they can be read in a clockwise circle. Each panel shows the same character – a homeless man wearing jeans, a hoodie, and a knit cap. I’ll call him “Knit.”

TOP PANEL

Knit is lying on a park bench, looking like he just woke up, and with a confused expression on his face. A cop holding a billy club stands over him.

COP: Get up! Public sleeping is now a crime. You’re going to jail.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

RIGHT HAND PANEL

Knit, looking confused and unhappy, is being kicked out of a building that has a sign over the door: “JAIL.” Knit looks confused and unhappy. We don’t see anything of the person kicking Knit out except for the shoe and leg that are doing the kicking.

KICKING GUY: You’ve served your time. Get out!

An arrow leads from that panel to:

BOTTOM PANEL

Knit, with a disappointed expression, is listening to a businessman-looking type wearing a necktie talk. The businessman has a stern expression.

BUSINESSMAN: You’ve been in jail! I’d never hire you, or rent to you.

An arrow leads from that panel to:

LEFT HAND PANEL

It’s dark out; the only light is coming from a door which has been open a crack. Knit stands in front of the door. A sign above the door says “SHELTER.” A woman inside is speaking to Knit through the crack.

WOMAN: Sorry, out of beds. Good luck.

An arrow leads from that panel back to the TOP PANEL.

CHICKEN FAT WATCH

“Chicken fat” is an obsolete cartoonists’ term for little details the cartoonist puts in which don’t matter at all, but they amused the cartoonist.

TOP PANEL: A newspaper lying on the ground, “Background Tribune,” says “IF YOU CAN READ THIS, YOU MAY HAVE WON A MILLION BUCKS!” Below that, in smaller print, it says “but probably not.”

And the bench has a little graffiti, a heart with “E + MC2” written inside it.

RIGHT HAND PANEL: Through the open door to the jail, we can see a poster on the wall, with a smiling cartoon bear wearing a guard’s cap and giving us a thumbs up. Above the bear, in large letters, it says “Protect Yourself From RSI.” In smaller letters below the bear, it says “always stretch before beating prisoners.”

One of the stones of the building’s wall is missing, and a man with a handlebar mustache is looking out nervously.

Another stone has a little barred window in it, and a mouse inside has its hands on the bars and looks out forlornly.

LEFT HAND PANEL: Woodstock from “Peanuts” is standing atop the building.

The Criminalizing Homelessness Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Cycle cartoons, Social Justice |

The GOP Tax Policy Cycle!

Cartoon by Barry

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon is laid out in a circle, with each panel having an arrow leading the reader to the next panel. So in principle, any of these four panels could be panel one. But for purposes of this transcript, I’ll start out with the topmost panel.

Each panel shows the same powerful-looking middle-aged man, wearing a suit with a red striped tie.

In the middle of the cartoon is the title, printed in large friendly letters. The title i: THE GOP TAX POLICY CYCLE.

PANEL 1

The man – who I’ll just call GOP – is looking at a piece of paper he’s holding and jumping up with a horrified expression on his face.

GOP: HORRORS! The U.S. is running a DEFICIT!

PANEL 2

The man steeples his fingers in front of him and has a big smirk, as he closes his eyes. He looks very content.

GOP: We HAVE to make BIG cuts to social welfare programs!

PANEL 3

The man is now dancing in place, one foot kicked off the ground, arms raised, and has a big grin.

GOP: Then we’ll give rich people and corporations HUGE tax cuts!

PANEL 4

The man is now leaning against the side of the cartoon with one hand. The other hand holds a piece of paper, which he’s glaring at.

MAN: Mysteriously, those tax cuts were followed by less tax revenue, which means…

(Panel 4 is followed by an arrow leading back to panel 1.)

PANEL 1

The man – who I’ll just call GOP – is looking at a piece of paper he’s holding and jumping up with a horrified expression on his face.

GOP: HORRORS! The U.S. is running a DEFICIT!

The GOP Tax Policy Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Conservatives, Cycle cartoons, Economic cartoons, Right-wingers |

The Revising Old Novels Cycle

Cartoon by Barry

───※ ·❆· ※───

If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting the Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.

───※ ·❆· ※───

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has three panels, without panel borders, orbiting a caption in the middle of the cartoon. The caption says, in a big friendly font, “THE REVISING OLD NOVELS CYCLE.”

Between each panel is a big red arrow, indicating that readers should read clockwise.

You could start reading this cartoon with any panel, but for purposes of this transcript, I’m going to say the one nearest the top is panel one.

PANEL 1

Two people are talking; an indignant man carrying a tablet and wearing a tee shirt with Superman’s “S” logo on it, and a woman with glasses and a red hairband, who is agreeing with him.

MAN: I can’t believe publishers are revising decades-old novels to make them “woke.” I’ve got a solution: If you don’t like a book, don’t buy it!

WOMAN: You’re right!

A red arrow leads from panel one to…

PANEL 2

The woman in the red hairband is looking at a book with an expression of distaste.

WOMAN: Ew… This old spy novel uses the “N word.” I’ll just buy something else!

A red arrow leads from panel two to…

PANEL: 3

A woman with her arms folded is talking to a man who is looking up something on his smartphone. (They are different characters from the ones in panels 1 and 2). Both of them are dressed in business wear.

WOMAN: People aren’t buying our classic spy novels because they don’t like the racism. We’ll have to revise.

And a red arrow leads from panel three back to the first panel.

Posted in Cycle cartoons, Uncategorized |

The Great GOP Anti-Voting Cycle

Cartoon by Barry

If you like this cartoon, help me make more by supporting my Patreon. A $1 or $2 pledge really helps!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON 

The cartoon shows four people walking clockwise in a circle around three people. The four people are an older white man in a suit – let’s call him The President (he isn’t drawn to look like Donald Trump, he’s just a generic politician). Next, going clockwise, are two well-dressed middle-aged people, a woman and a man. We’ll call them The Senators. And moving clockwise, next is a white-haired man with a beard and mustache; he is wearing judge’s robes, so we’ll call him The Judge.

It’s a big hall of the sort you find in some nice government buildings – fancy wainscoting on the wall, wooden floors, a large institutional-looking carpet with swirly patterns, a big potted plant (more like a small tree) near the wall.

Each person or pair – the President, the Senators, and the Judge – is holding a rope, which they are wrapping around the three ordinary citizens in the middle as they walk in a circle around them. They all look cheerful. The three ordinary citizens, who look unhappy and a bit stunned, have been thoroughly tied up.

There are dotted line arrows – the sort that indicate “read this next.” One points from the President to the Senators. One points from the Senators to the Judge. And a third and final arrow points from the Judge to the President.

PRESIDENT: And after Republican judges allow the anti-voting laws, I’ll be president even if most voters prefer the Democrat. Then I’ll nominate more Republican judges.

An arrow leads from the President to the Senators. The male Senator speaks.

SENATOR: And after the President nominates more Republican judges, Republican Senators can confirm the judges and write more anti-voting laws!

An arrow leads from the Senators to the Judge.

JUDGE: And after Republican Senators confirm us, Republican judges can rule that their anti-voting laws are constitutional!

An arrow leads from the Judge back to the President.

The Great GOP Anti-Voting Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Cycle cartoons, Elections |

The Puerto Rico Loop

Cartoon by Barry

If you enjoy these comics, please support them on Patreon. A $1 pledge means a lot.

Transcript of cartoon.

The main body of this cartoon shows three groupings of figures. Large arrows point counterclockwise from each group to the next group.

At the top of the loop, a balding man in an expensive suit speaks directly to the readers, while shrugging.
SUIT DUDE: We can’t put tax dollars into helping Puerto Rico if the voters don’t care about it.

A big arrow leads from the man in the suit, to a television set, showing two news anchors, a man and a woman. They are both shrugging and looking into the camera. The anchorwoman speaks.

ANCHORWOMAN: If the government does nothing about Puerto Rico, there’s nothing for us to report.

A large arrow leads from the television set to a man and a woman standing on a hillside. The man is wearing a plaid shirt and scratching his head in bewilderment; the woman, wearing a hoodie and a skirt with a dotted pattern, looks directly at the reader and speaks while shrugging.

WOMAN: If it’s constantly on the news, we forget it exists.

A large arrow leads from the two people, back up to the politician in a suit.

At the very bottom of the cartoon, a small “kicker” panel shows a fat man with a beard and glasses speaking directly to the readers.
BARRY: There’s no way to break out of this cycle! …Unless the victims are white.

Posted in Cycle cartoons, Media criticism, Racism & Racists |

The Great Cycle Of Wall Street, or, WALL STREET JUGGLE!

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Cycle cartoons, Economic cartoons |

Global Warming

Cartoon by Barry

Posted in Cycle cartoons, Environmental cartoons |