These Kids Today Have Always Sucked

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins, doing the variety of costumes and environments that she excels at.

If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting my Patreon! Small donations from lots of donors are what makes it possible for me to keep doing these cartoons, and keep paying Becky for her work.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a three-by-three grid. The central panel (panel 5) has no image other than large, friendly, 3-D styled lettering saying “THESE KIDS TODAY HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED.”

Other than panel five, each panel features a single figure speaking, with a caption at the bottom of the panel identifying who they are.

PANEL 1

A cartoon caveman sits alone in a cave by a campfire, angrily ranting.

CAVEMAN: Hrrr hrrr. Urg! Grumble grrr huuuh grunt!

CAPTION: Thag, 20,000 BC

PANEL 2

A bearded man in ancient Greek dress holds a scroll and rolls his eyes as he speaks to the readers with an irritated expression.

ARISTOTLE: Young people think they know everything! And they’re soooo sure about it!

CAPTION: Aristotle, 4th Century BC

PANEL 3

A monk, wearing robes in the style of the Muromachi period of Japanese history, sits in front of a low table, where he’s writing on a scroll. He has paused in his writing to look at the reader.

YOSHIDA KENKO: Modern “fashions” are more and more debased! And their language nowadays is so coarse!

CAPTION: Yoshida Kenko, 1330

PANEL 4

A sour-looking man wearing a long wig of white curls looks directly at the reader, raising a forefinger in an admonishing way.

ROBERT RUSSELL: The towns and streets today are filled with lewd wicked children! They curse and swear and call one another nick-names!

CAPTION: Sir Robert Russell, 1695

PANEL 5

This panel has nothing in it but the title lettering. In large, friendly, 3d styled lettering, it says THESE KIDS TODAY HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED.

PANEL 6

A man in an upper-class 1700s suit sits at a writing-desk, leaning back with his feet on the desk. In one hand he’s holding a quill pen, in the other a bottle of some alcoholic liquid. It’s dark, and a candle on the desk is providing light.

MAN: Whither has the manly vigour of our forefathers flown? Youth today are effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles!

CAPTION: Town and Country Magazine, 1771

PANEL 7

A man with thick gray eyebrows stands in a hilly field; we can see a village in the distance behind him, and sheep in the field. One of the sheep is standing next to him, placidly eating a plant. The man is wearing a brown Irish flat cap and carrying a walking stick, which he is shaking at the reader.

FALKIRK HERALD: Young people are so pampered nowadays that they have forgotten there was such a thing as walking!

CAPTION: Falkirk Herald, 1951

PANEL 8

A professionally-dressed woman, with long wavy hair and a blue suit, is sitting behind a table with books displayed on it (one of the books is entitled “Kids 2day” and has a frowny face on the cover; her other book’s cover has a picture an iphone with devil horns and a smiley face). A TV camera is pointed at her, and a microphone is pointed at her. She smiles as she speaks to the camera.

JEAN TWENGE: Millennials got participation trophies growing up! So now they’re fame-obsessed, narcissistic, stunted and lazy.

CAPTION: Dr. Jean Twenge, 2013.

PANEL 9

A smartly-dressed woman with spiky white hair sits at the counter of a coffee shop, thumb-typing on her smartphone. She’s got big teardrop earrings and a necklace with a large stone with a spiral pattern. A word balloon points at her smartphone, showing us what she’s typing.

AUNT: And don’t even get me started on Gen Z!

CAPTION: Probably your aunt or something, just last week.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, History |

Founding Father Wisdom, Featuring Thomas Jefferson

Cartoon by leftycartoons

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon

This cartoon is drawn by the awesome Leah S. Metters! Leah describes herself as “an illustrator and visual development artist working hard to create amazing books and comics so she can take over the world, one smile at a time.”

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two children, a boy with huge glasses and a backpack, and a girl with her hair in a puff pony and wearing a colorful striped shirt, are in a park full of lush greenery. They’ve stopped by a wooden park bench; seated on the bench, wearing an early-1800s style suit and a peruke (which is what the white wigs most founding fathers wore were called), is the ghost of Thomas Jefferson. We know he’s a ghost because he’s a glowing pale blue color, he’s a little transparent, and he sort of twirls out of existence below the waist rather than having legs.

The boy and girl look enthusiastic; Jefferson seems quietly flattered.

BOY: It’s the ghost of Thomas Jefferson!

GIRL: The founding fathers were moral and intellectual giants! Share your wisdom with us, President Jefferson?

JEFFERSON: Very well.

PANEL 2

A close-up of Jefferson. He looks a little wide-eyed and intense, and his gesturing with his hands to emphasize his points.

JEFFERSON: To get rich, run a nail factory, and whip workers who make less than 5,000 nails a day. Children too!

JEFFERSON: And as I told my friends, invest every dollar you have in slaves!

PANEL 3

Another one-shot of Jefferson. He’s now looking more thoughtful, smiling a little with a finger pressed against his chin.

JEFFERSON: Orangutans are more attracted to black women than to other orangutans. That’s just science!

JEFFERSON: Let’s see, what other founder wisdom can I share?

PANEL 4

A shot of the three of them. The two kids look pissed; Jefferson concedes cheerfully.

GIRL: Actually, we’ve changed our minds about caring what you thought.

JEFFERSON: Solid choice! I was a slave-owning rapist asshat.

Posted in Barry's favorites, History, Racism & Racists |

Democracy is Burning

Cartoon by Barry

Please help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Small pledges from lots of donors is how I make my living.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. All six panels show the same two women on top of an unrealistically round and even hill. One woman is drawn as an anthropomorphic dog; she’s sitting in a reclined lawn chair, wearing flip-flops, shorts, and a t-shirt with an exclamation point design. The other woman is drawn as an anthropomorphic cat. She’s wearing a vest over a polka-dotted shirt, a dark calf-length skirt, and black socks or stockings.

The comic is colored mostly in dim shades of blue, indicating dusk or nighttime.

PANEL 1

Cat and Dog are looking out at the horizon. There’s an orange-yellow glow all along the horizon.

CAT: What’s that glow on the horizon?

DOG: It’s democracy burning.

PANEL 2

They both continue staring at the distant horizon. The cat crosses her arms and looks angry.

DOG: The fire will rush over us and burn everything down pretty soon.

CAT: That’s horrible! Can’t the Democrats stop it?

PANEL 3

A more distant shot shows us a landscape of unrealistically steep, round hills. Cat puts a hand on her face, flabbergasted. The dog seems emotionally withdrawn or numb (as she’s looked all along).

DOG: Doubtful… Between the filibuster, gerrymandering, and the Supreme Court, elections are just gonna stop being meaningful.

CAT: But… How can they do that?

DOG: The rules say they can.

PANEL 4

The cat yells, looking panicked. The dog, still calm, looks at the cat out of the corner of her eye.

CAT: We can’t just stand here while democracy burns! We have to DO SOMETHING!

DOG: Yes, but– What can we do, specifically?

PANEL 5

A closer shot of the cat as she concentrates, a hand on her chin.

CAT: Well, we can… I mean, could we… Maybe if we…

CAT: Um…

PANEL 6

A distant shot from behind the two of them, so we are seeing them, and beyond them, the orange glowing horizon. The cat slumps a bit, looking at the ground.

CAT: Well… Fuck.

DOG: That sums it up.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

Conservatives, 1988-Present

Cartoon by Barry

I can keep drawing these cartoons because a bunch of people support my patreon, mostly at $1 or $2 levels, which I think is really cool. Join us!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. Each panel shows a different character or collection of characters. All characters shown are white.

PANEL 1

An extreme closeup of a white person who, seen from this close, could be any gender. They are screaming, spittle flying from their mouth.

PERSON: Look out! Political Correctness is coming!

PANEL 2

A woman is running on a desolate hillside, screaming in panic.

WOMAN: It’s the Social Justice Warriors! Flee! Flee!

PANEL 3

A bald man in a short-sleeved collared shirt with a reddish necktie is waving his arms around in the air and yelling at the reader. Despite being bald, he has very long eyebrows that stick out in a few directions (and I honestly have no idea what I was thinking when I drew those eyebrows!).

MAN: Cultural Marxism is here!

PANEL 4

A woman lifts her face to the sky, hands on her cheeks, yelling in panic. She’s wearing a long skirt with a pattern of stars, a collared shirt, and a reddish vest.

WOMAN: The Woke will destroy us all!

PANEL 5

We see three people. Far away from us, on a rocky hill, a person seen only in silhouette is yelling.  In the middle ground, a terrified looking person with shoulder-length hair is looking towards us. And in the close foreground – so close that half his head is missing – a man with huge bulging eyes and a big open mouth is staring at the reader.

SILHOUETTE PERSON: Run! It’s Cancel Cultue!

PANEL 6

An older man, with white hair and a white beard is yelling at the reader, his mouth huge. He’s wearing a brown-and-red-checkered shirt and yanking his own hair with both hands.

MAN: Critical Race Theory! Nooooooooooo

Posted in Barry's favorites |

Teach MLK Not CRT

Cartoon by Barry

I make a living drawing cartoons because of lots of people pledging small amounts to my Patreon. $1 or $2 helps a lot!

Sadly, I had to cut all the MLK quotes way down to fit this tiny four-panel format. At the end of this post you’ll find more complete quotes, with links to sources.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.

The cartoon shows two people talking outside what looks like a school building. One of the people is a Black man,  bald on top and chubby and wearing glasses, a shirt and a tie – he looks like he could be a school principal. The other person is a white woman, wearing a sweater-vest and a patterned skirt, with her hair in a pony tail. She’s carrying a protest sign that says “Teach MLK not CRT.”

PANEL 1

Sweatervest holds out a little booklet to Necktie. She looks angry, he looks unsure.

SWEATERVEST: Look at these quotes from your school’s assigned readings! This trash teaches white kids to hate themselves. Martin Luther King would never teach this!

NECKTIE: Okay, let me take a look…

PANEL 2

Necktie bends over the booklet a little, reading aloud. Sweatervest screams in anger.

NECKTIE: “White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism… The White Man’s Police are the ultimate mockery of law… America is a racist country.”

SWEATERVEST: See? See? They’re teaching our kids to hate white people, cops and America!

PANEL 3

A close-up of Sweatervest, her lips drawn back in anger, as Necktie continues reading aloud from off-panel.

NECKTIE: “The roots of racism are very deep in our country…  The doctrine of white supremacy was imbedded in every textbook…  It became a structural part of the culture.”

SWEATERVEST: “Roots of racism!” “Structural racism!” It’s all so hateful! Why not teach what MLK said? “Judge by the content of their character….”

PANEL 4

Looking puzzled, Necktie points to something in the booklet. Angrier than ever, Sweatervest leans forward to yell.

NECKTIE: But these quotes are all from Dr. King.

SWEATERVEST: And I’m sure he feels just sick about that!

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

This small black-and-white panel shows a smiling Sweatervest looking proud, holding a hand on her chest, while Necktie reads another passage aloud from the booklet.

SWEATERVEST: I don’t need to read MLK’s writings! “I had a dream” is all I need to know!

NECKTIE: Here’s another MLK quote: “White people believe that they have so little to learn.”

SOURCES FOR THIS CARTOON

To fit all these quotes into a tiny four panel format, I had to cut them way down, which frankly I feel bad about. Here are the fuller quotes, with links to the sources:

“If the Negro needs social sciences for direction and for self-understanding, the white society is in even more urgent need. White America needs to understand that it is poisoned to its soul by racism and the understanding needs to be carefully documented and consequently more difficult to reject.”

“When we ask Negroes to abide by the law, let us also demand that the white man abide by law in the ghettos. Day-in and day-out he violates welfare laws to deprive the poor of their meager allotments; he flagrantly violates building codes and regulations; his police make a mockery of law; and he violates laws on equal employment and education and the provisions for civic services. The slums are the handiwork of a vicious system of the white society; Negroes live in them but do not make them any more than a prisoner makes a prison. Let us say boldly that if the violations of law by the white man in the slums over the years were calculated and compared with the law-breaking of a few days of riots, the hardened criminal would be the white man.”

–Martin Luther King Jr., in his speech “The Role of the Behavioral Scientist in the Civil Rights Movement”

“However difficult it is to hear, however shocking it is to hear, we’ve got to face the fact that America is a racist country. W e have got to face the fact that racism still occupies the throne of our nation. I don’t think we will ultimately solve the problem of racial injustice until this is recognized, and until this is worked on.”

—Live Q&A with Martin Luther King Jr. at the sixty-eighth annual convention of the Rabbinical Assembly, March 25, 1968.

“It lies in the ‘congenital deformity’ of racism that has crippled the nation from its inception. The roots of racism are very deep in America. Historically it was so acceptable in the national life that today it still only lightly burdens the conscience. No one surveying the moral landscape of our can overlook the hideous and pathetic wreckage of commitment twisted and turned to a thousand shapes under the stress of prejudice and irrationality.”

“Soon the doctrine of white supremacy was imbedded in every textbook and preached in practically every pulpit. It became a structural part of the culture. And men then embraced this philosophy, not as the rationalization of a lie, but as the expression of a final truth.”

“Whites, it must frankly be said, are not putting in a similar mass effort to reeducate themselves out of their racial ignorance. It is an aspect of their sense of superiority that the white people of America believe they have so little to learn. The reality of substantial investment to assist Negroes into the twentieth century, adjusting to Negro neighbors and genuine school integration, is still a nightmare for all too many white Americans.”

–Martin Luther King Jr., in his book Where Do We Go From Here

And finally, a “Teach MLK Not CRT” sign was reported by Learner Liu in the far-right newspaper Epoch Times,  and then quoted by social justice activist Arnie Alpert at InDepthNH.org.

Posted in Barry's favorites, History, Racism & Racists, Social Justice |

I’ve Got Nothing Against Trans People. But…

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by Becky Hawkins and I.

Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A buck or two makes a real difference.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels.

PANEL 1

A white woman with a big smile and brown hair is smiling and holding up a book. The book is entitled “Save The Children” and shows a small crying girl behind bars with a red frowny face over her abdomen.

The woman appears to be on TV – a two-level scrolling chyron at the bottom of the panel reads “Gay Menace Is Now Trans Menace” and “…enator says woke trans stole her lunch mone…”

WOMAN: My book is about how trans people are indoctrinating our children and enticing lesbian girls to become transgenders!

WOMAN: Please understand I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 2

A middle-aged white male politician, wearing a gray suit, is speaking from behind a podium; we can see that a TV camera is pointed at him. The podium has a seal that says “Real America.” He’s standing in front of two American flags. He holds up a finger to make a point.

POLITICIAN: My legislation bans medical care to help trans kids and teens. AND forces teachers to report transgenders to their parents.

POLITICIAN: It will also let doctors, nurses and pharmacists refuse to treat transgenders!

POLITICIAN: Of course I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 3

A white man with a full beard, wearing a open neck shirt under a suit jacket, is sitting in front of a laptop and typing rapidly (“tap tap tap tap tap tap tap”). He’s grinning in an unfriendly way. On the table next to his laptop are a number of take-out coffee cups, a crumpled-up soda can, and a mug that says “Liberal Tears.”  In the space above his laptop, we can see what he’s typing.

MAN: Why say “trans women” when I can say “men wearing dresses” instead?

MAN: But I’ve got NOTHING against trans people!

PANEL 4

A hand holds a smartphone. On the smartphone screen, we can see a red-headed woman in a gown, wearing a dress with blue earrings and a blue necklace, sitting comfortably on a huge, old-fashioned wooden chair that would look at home in Hogwarts. She leans on one arm and makes an open gesture with her other palm.

REDHEAD: I’ve spent YEARS writing about how the trans movement is a mortal danger to REAL women. It’s practically my only subject!

REDHEAD: But I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 5

The set of a TV chat show called “Just Asking Questions.” (We know that’s what it’s called because “Just Asking Questions” is printed in huge letters on the side of the table the guests are sitting around. Plants on either side of the set are in pots with the painted on words “The JAQ Off.”)

The host, a nicely-dressed woman with stylish hair, sits in a chair on the left, smiling. Her guests, seating around the table, are the four characters we met in the first four panels of this comic strip.

HOST: Why do so many trans people say you’ve got something against them?

“SAVE THE CHILDREN” AUTHOR LADY: (shrugs as if bewildered)

POLITICIAN (arms folded, above-it-all expression): It’s a Mystery.

BEARDED DUDE: (ignores everything around him while he grins and types quickly on his smartphone)

REDHEAD: I blame cancel culture.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Message in a Bottle

Cartoon by Barry

Supporting my patreon helps me make more swell cartoons!

I was having trouble with the first figure in panel one, so I searched for a reference photo to help me out, and found one, from a photographer who creates many reference photos. They also generously gave me permission to reproduce their photo in a process image. I always enjoy seeing process images, so I imagine some of you enjoy them, as well.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. All of the panels show two women talking in some sort of park or meadow (green and hilly with some trees in the background), with a gentle river or large stream in the foreground. The first woman has long curly-with-spirals hair, and is wearing a hairband. She’s wearing black pants, torn on one knee, and a hoodie. The second woman has short hair and glasses, and is wearing a short-sleeved shirt with a “!” logo on it and purple pants.

PANEL 1

HAIRBAND is crouching down and reaching for a bottle floating in the stream. The bottle, if you look closely, has a rolled-up piece of paper in it. GLASSES looks a little surprised but also amused.

HAIRBAND: Look, a message in a bottle!

GLASSES: What’s it say?

PANEL 2

Hairband has removed the paper from the bottle and is reading from it; the bottle is held in her other hand. Glasses is holding up a forefinger as she makes a point.

HAIRBAND: It says “Help! We’re trapped in a country where an absurdly awful minority party is attacking elections and democracy!”

GLASSES: So if the problem is a bad political party, all they have to do-

PANEL 3

A close-up of Hairband shows her continuing to read from the paper, with a concerned expression. Glasses speaks from off panel.

HAIRBAND: It goes on… “That party stays viable because bad constitutional design and partisan judges have made it possible for them to remain viable while most voters oppose them.”

GLASSES: I see! In that case, they can-

HAIRBAND: “And even that is a symptom of how entrenched interests of race and wealth have controlled the country from the start.”

PANEL 4

Scowling a bit with concentration, Glasses speaks, looking less certain now than in the previous panels. Hairband is kneeling down and reaching for a second bottle that has floated along the river.

GLASSES: So the root of all the problems are entrenched interests? So can they-

HAIRBAND: Hold on, there’s another bottle.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

White People (But With Subtitles)

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! (Patrons got to see this cartoon over two months ago!)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a 3×3 grid. The central panel has no images other than large title lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

Each of the other panels has an image of a single white person talking directly to the reader. All of the panels have yellow printed subtitles, “translating” what the person is saying.

PANEL 1

A cheerful looking white man stands in front of flowering bushes. He’s holding out one hand towards us, shaking it in a “no no no” gesture. He’s wearing a tee-shirt that says “Close The Border” with an illustration of the border wall (although the illustration is kind of unclear and I suspect a lot of readers won’t get that, but that’s okay).

MAN: It’s not about race!

SUBTITLE: It’s completely about race.

PANEL 2

A light-haired white woman leans casually against a stone wall as she talks to the reader, smiling.

WOMAN: Of course I have Black friends!

SUBTITLE: I ask my Black doorman about his kids if I’m not in a hurry.

PANEL 3

A white man with glasses, a mustache, and a necktie sits at a desk, a laptop open in front of him. He has one hand raised, palm up, in a sort of half-a-shrug gesture.

MAN: They’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

SUBTITLE: I’d feel better if they talked less about racism.

PANEL 4

A white woman stands on a city street; we can see bits of two buildings, and an alleyway, behind her. She has glasses and her red hair is in a bun. She’s smiling, and holding one hand to her chest (just below her collarbone) in a somewhat surprised manner.

WOMAN: You’re so articulate!!!

SUBTITLE: I’m surprised that Latinos are intelligent.

PANEL 5

This panel has nothing but large lettering, which says “White People, But With Subtitles.”

PANEL 6

A white man with a van dyke beard and a full-of-himself expression is at some sort of party (we can see a few other partiers in silhouette in the background) and holding a wine glass.

MAN: I’m one-twentieth Indian myself, so I know all about reservations.

SUBTITLE: Your culture, my party chatter.

PANEL 7

A white woman with a checkered shirt is behind the wheel of a car, speaking out the window to us with a somewhat grumpy expression.

WOMAN: I’m not against assistance to hardworking families.

SUBTITLE: I’m against assistance to brown families.

PANEL 8

A redheaded white man clasping his hands in front of him and standing on a grassy hillside smiles wide and speaks directly to the viewer. His tee shirt has a manga drawing of a pretty woman.

MAN: Asian women are so beautiful and quiet!

SUBTITLE: Let me tell you what kind of porn I enjoy.

PANEL 9

A light-haired white woman holding a book (possibly a bible) open, as if she was just reading it, speaks to us. She has a pleasant smile, and is standing in front of a small but nice church building, which features a bell tower with a large clock on it.

WOMAN: Judeo Christian values built this country!

SUBTITLE: If I put “Judeo” at the start of sentences, I sound less like a Christian theocrat.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Racism & Racists |

Arguing On The Internet

Cartoon by Barry

Please help us make more swell cartoons by supporting my Patreon!

(Patrons got to see this cartoon months before I posted it in public.)

This cartoon is drawn by my awesome and frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins. I especially love what she did with the expression and lighting on the character’s face in the last panel.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny additional “kicker” panel under the fourth panel.

PANEL 1

We see a woman with bright purple hair is sitting at a desk, facing a desktop computer, and facepalming. The room looks like an apartment or house, not a place of business.

There’s an open soda can next to her. In the background we can see a window with blue sky, a poster that combines the anarchy “A” symbol with a drawing of a cat face and the caption “Equality! Justice! Naps!,” and a cat lying on a cat bed below the window.

There is a computer-drawn rectangular word balloon, with sound effects reading “tap tap tap tap” leading from the balloon towards the computer, showing what she’s typing on the computer.

TYPED ON THE COMPUTER: If you’d look at the evidence for even a second you’d see tha

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): What am I even doing?

PANEL 2

The same shot. The purple-haired woman has leaned back a bit and has a hand on her chin as she thinks. In the background, the cat has looked up at her with a little ? floating over its head.

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): I’ve been arguing online for hours. He’s not gonna change his mind. There are so many better things I could be doing.

PANEL 3

A close shot of her, now with wide eyes and a big smile, looking up a bit in anticipation.

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): Yes! I’ll organize a zoom with friends I haven’t seen lately! And take a walk! And I’ll finally volunteer for that anti-hunger group. Starting right now!

PANEL 4

The same shot as the first two panels. But it’s much darker now; through the window we can see the moon and stars. The only source of light in this room seems to be the computer monitor, shining on Purplehair’s face. There are now many more empty soda cans scattered around her.

Purplehair is typing, leaning foward, looking angry but also exhausted; her eyes are wide and bloodshot (in a cartoony comedy fashion). Her cat is leaning against her shoulder, trying to get her attention. The cat has a little thought balloon with a picture of a can of cat food in it.

Another computer-style speech balloon has the “tap tap tap tap” sound effect leading from the balloon towards the computer keyboard.

TYPED ON THE COMPUTER: And ANOTHER thing! Why do YOU guys ALWAYS SAY you’re fo

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE COMIC STRIP

We see Purplehair’s face; she has a huge satisfied smile and is glowing.

PURPLEHAIR: I’ve done it – I’ve proven that a stranger on the internet is wrong!

PURPLEHAIR: Now I’ll never have to do that again!

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Uncategorized |

What Kind of People Sexualize Children?

Cartoon by Barry

Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.

This strip was drawn by my frequent collaborator Becky Hawkins.  As usual, Becky excels at communicating setting after setting in small panels; I think the store interior in panel 3 is particularly nice. I also love the way she ages Lucy and Lucy’s dad from panel to panel.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the comic.

PANEL 1

Two toddlers, one a blonde girl dressed in pink, and the other a boy in blue, are playing in a sandbox in a park. They aren’t paying any attention to each other. The girl is just sort of making a pile of sand; the boy is experimentally biting on the handle of the little plastic shovel (and seems to be enjoying it). In the background, two adults are watching the kids and talking to each other, a red-headed man (who I’ll call “Dad”) and a blonde woman.

DAD: Look at Lucy, flirting and making eyes at him!

WOMAN: Look at him, showing off for her!

PANEL 2

We seem to be outside a school building or daycare; the building is made of red bricks, and we can see paper cut-out hearts taped to the large windows. In front of the building, near a hopscotch game chalked onto the pavement, is Lucy (two or three years older, but we can recognize her by the similar shade of pink and the blonde hair) and another boy. The boy is yanking on Lucy’s pony tail, and Lucy looks annoyed. In the foreground, two adults – including the redheaded dad from panel 1 – are watching, looking amused. (The other adult is a woman, but not the same woman as the woman in panel 1).

DAD: I think Lucy has a boyfriend!

WOMAN: It’ll be so cute if they marry each other someday!

PANEL 3

We are in a shop with fancy, bright-colored dresses and costume jewelry and stuff. The redheaded man, now maybe a bit fuller around the waist, is chatting to a shopgirl while gesturing towards a burgundy outfit on a mannequin. The outfit is very fancy, and has two pieces, a band shirt and a short skirt, leaving the mannequin’s waist bare. Lucy, now looking a few years older, is looking up at the outfit expressionlessly.

MAN: I just couldn’t wait to get Lucy on the pageant circuit! Lucy, let’s try this one on you!

PANEL 4

Some years later, Lucy – now looking like a young teen – and her dad (now quite a bit chubbier, and his hairline is beginning to recede) are sitting at home, dad in a comfortable looking armchair, while Lucy sits at a table in the background doing homework. Lucy is looking up at her dad, and a “!” has appeared next to her head. Dad is speaking and gesturing angrily at something on his smartphone.

DAD: Just look at this! Diagnosing children as “trans”… Prescribing “puberty blockers”… What kind of people sexualize children?

SMALL KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist is speaking to the redheaded dad. The redheaded dad – apparently older, as his hairline has receded further – is turning away from Barry the cartoonist.

BARRY: Trans children’s healthcare isn’t about “sex.” It’s about identity, comfort, and—

DAD: Can’t talk — Lucy and I need to practice our purity ball dance.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

The Great GOP Anti-Voting Cycle

Cartoon by Barry

If you like this cartoon, help me make more by supporting my Patreon. A $1 or $2 pledge really helps!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON 

The cartoon shows four people walking clockwise in a circle around three people. The four people are an older white man in a suit – let’s call him The President (he isn’t drawn to look like Donald Trump, he’s just a generic politician). Next, going clockwise, are two well-dressed middle-aged people, a woman and a man. We’ll call them The Senators. And moving clockwise, next is a white-haired man with a beard and mustache; he is wearing judge’s robes, so we’ll call him The Judge.

It’s a big hall of the sort you find in some nice government buildings – fancy wainscoting on the wall, wooden floors, a large institutional-looking carpet with swirly patterns, a big potted plant (more like a small tree) near the wall.

Each person or pair – the President, the Senators, and the Judge – is holding a rope, which they are wrapping around the three ordinary citizens in the middle as they walk in a circle around them. They all look cheerful. The three ordinary citizens, who look unhappy and a bit stunned, have been thoroughly tied up.

There are dotted line arrows – the sort that indicate “read this next.” One points from the President to the Senators. One points from the Senators to the Judge. And a third and final arrow points from the Judge to the President.

PRESIDENT: And after Republican judges allow the anti-voting laws, I’ll be president even if most voters prefer the Democrat. Then I’ll nominate more Republican judges.

An arrow leads from the President to the Senators. The male Senator speaks.

SENATOR: And after the President nominates more Republican judges, Republican Senators can confirm the judges and write more anti-voting laws!

An arrow leads from the Senators to the Judge.

JUDGE: And after Republican Senators confirm us, Republican judges can rule that their anti-voting laws are constitutional!

An arrow leads from the Judge back to the President.

The Great GOP Anti-Voting Cycle | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Elections |

Are You GENUINELY Poor?

Cartoon by Barry

Please support these cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Just a $1 or $2 pledge means a lot to me.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows two men: A not-wealthy looking man with shaggy hair and some stubble, and a bald man in glasses, wearing a business suit and tie. Each panel shows them at a sidewalk with grass growing in the background.

PANEL 1

Shaggy is wearing a wrinkled collared shirt and jeans. Necktie is wearing a gray suit with a tie with a dot pattern.

It’s bright daytime. Shaggy, with his back turned to Necktie, is looking at and poking a smartphone, and, in the helpful way people so often do in the first panel of my cartoons, talking aloud to himself. Necktie is turning to look at, and yell at, Shaggy.

SHAGGY: I can’t find a job and I’m out of money… Time to google “food stamps.”

NECKTIE: Food stamps are for people who are genuinely poor. If you were poor, you wouldn’t own a smartphone, would you?

PANEL 2

A caption says “one week later.”

From the light, it appears to be early evening. Shaggy is wearing a plaid shirt and Black pants, and has a backpack; Necktie is wearing a pinstripe suit and a tie with horizontal stripes.

Shaggy is looking worried and has a hand on his chest; Necktie is sternly talking to, and pointing at, Shaggy.

SHAGGY: I sold my phone, but now I’m out of money again.

NECKTIE: So sell your car. No one who owns a car is poor.

PANEL 3

A caption says “one month later.”

The same two men, on a similar patch of sidewalk. Shaggy is wearing sweatpants with a stripe down the side, and a hole in one knee, and a tee shirt. Necktie is wearing a dark blue suit, a black shirt, and a light-colored necktie.

Shaggy is sitting on the curb, slumping, looking down both literally and metaphorically. Necktie, talking to Shaggy, looks very cheerful.

SHAGGY: Now I’ve got no money for food, no phone for job hunting, and no car to get to a job!

NECKTIE: Excellent! Now you’re genuinely poor!

PANEL 4

The same scene, a moment later. Shaggy, looking hopeful, is looking up at Necktie. Necktie folds his arms and grins even more.

SHAGGY: So now you’re okay with me getting food stamps?

NECKTIE: Nope!

Genuinely Poor | Patreon

Posted in Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons |

You’re So Brave, I’d Rather Be Dead

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. The first five panel shows a woman with blue hair with a thin pink streak, thin oval glasses, and arms that end slightly above where her elbows would be. In each panel she appears, she’s in a different setting talking to a different person. I’m going to call her GLASSES.

PANEL 1

A caption at the top of the panel says “Monday.” A brown-haired woman, hands clutched together in front of her chin, is anxiously staring at Glasses. Glasses, who was walking and is wearing a backpack, turns back to look at the woman.

ANXIOUS: You’re so brave. I’d rather die than live like that!

GLASSES: Um… Thank you?

PANEL 2

A caption says “Tuesday.” In a grocery store, a muscular man in a sleeveless tee, who is pushing a grocery cart, talks loudly at Glasses. He is between Glasses and the shelf, and Glasses is gesturing towards the shelf behind him, looking a little annoyed.

MUSCLES: I can’t imagine being you. I’d rather be dead.

GLASSES: Dude, I just want some Pop Tarts.

PANEL 3

A caption says “Wednesday.” Glasses is seating in the… what do you call those things? The sort of built-in stadium seating some college lecture halls have, with a series of long curved benches and desks, each one on a higher level as they get further from the front of the room, so everyone has a good view of the professor. Glasses has a laptop open on the desk in front of her. We can see a couple of bored looking students in the row behind Glasses.  Next to Glasses is a man wearing a jacket, one of those “image of a necktie” tee shirts, with his black hair in a long ponytail and an expression of extreme disgust. Glasses looks very annoyed as she responds to him.

PONYTAIL: I couldn’t stand not wiping my own butt. I’d die first!

GLASSES: Shockingly, butt wiping isn’t actually the pinnacle of human existence.

PANEL 4

A caption says “Thursday.” Glasses walks down a city sidewalk, a cartoon cloud indicating grumpiness floating above her. Behind her, a man wearing sandals and pants with torn knees, and carrying a shopping bag, grins as he talks at her; she doesn’t even bother turning back to look.

SANDALS: It’s inspiring that you haven’t committed suicide.

PANEL 5

A caption says “Friday.” An older couple, a man and a woman, are looking at Glasses; the man, wide-eyed, is speaking, but is cut off by Glasses yelling at him, leaning forward angrily.

MAN: I’d rather be dead than-

GLASSES: I don’t want to die. I have a great life! Except for ablebodied people telling me my life isn’t worth living!

PANEL 6

The “camera” pulls back to show the man and woman now standing by themselves; Glasses, it is implied, has stomped off and left the scene. The man and woman look annoyed as they look in the direction Glasses went.

MAN: Those people are so rude!

WOMAN: Obviously it’s the disability that makes her so angry.

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites |

Which Kids Matter

Cartoon by Barry

Help me keep making cartoons by supporting my Patreon! I make most of my living from people pledging small amounts, like $1 or $2, and I think that’s awesome.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each panel shows the same thing: Two women walking through a hilly park as they argue. The two are staying at least six feet apart from each other as they talk.

The woman in front is wearing a jacket with rolled-up sleeves, black tights with holes in them, and a striped shirt. She has a pink streak in her black hair. The woman behind is wearing a skirt with a pattern of exclamation marks, a white collared shirt, and has wavy hair falling to a little below shoulder level. She’s wearing glasses.

PANEL 1

PINK is talking calmly while, behind her, GLASSES waves her arms and talks in an argumentative fashion.

PINK: So when an eleven year old trans kid is prescribed puberty delaying drugs, that could spare them decades of suffering!

GLASSES: But what if a boy likes dolls, so his parents decide he’s a girl and force him to change sex? That’s why we must outlaw puberty delaying drugs!

PANEL 2

Pink isn’t yelling but she’s speaking passionately, waving her hands as she talks. Behind her, Glasses has her hands in her pockets and is listening without much expression.

PINK: I’ve never seen a real case like that. That would be awful. But if a case like that happened, it’d be one in a million. On the other hand, there are definitely trans kids who need this treatment.

PANEL 3

Pink turns back a bit to talk directly at Glasses as she asks Glasses a question. Glasses, hands still in pocket, replies calmly.

PINK: So how many trans kids would you sacrifice to prevent one hypothetical non-trans kid being forced into delayed puberty?

GLASSES: All of them.

PANEL 4

Pink has now turned all the way around, looking a bit horrified, and holding her palms up in a “let me just explain this” gesture. Glasses has stopped walking, has folded her arms, and has raised her voice, with an angry expression.

PINK: I don’t think you understand – we could be talking about a hundred thousand-

GLASSES: I said all of them!

Posted in Barry's favorites, LGBT cartoons |

Portland Is A War Zone!

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Believe it or not, this is how I earn a living; the bulk of my income comes from $1 pledges.

This comic is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins; I wrote the script, Becky did the art. More of our political cartoon collabs can be found here. And we create a webcomic together, SuperButch.

Years from now, if anyone reads this cartoon, I bet they’ll be going “concrete milkshakes? What the heck is a concrete milkshake?”

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels. The first four panels are narrow, and show a tight close-up of a woman’s head and shoulders as she talks on a cell phone. The final panel is a long shot, showing a sidewalk scene.

Panel 1

A woman with blonde hair, and glasses pushed up on top of her head, talks on a cell phone. She looks frightened.

WOMAN: If you don’t live in Portland, you can’t imagine what it’s like. It’s a friggin’ war zone here!

Panel 2

She continues speaking into her cell phone, now looking a bit angry.

WOMAN: Every day we’re dodging tear gas and concrete milkshakes! Proud boys and antifa are everywhere!

Panel 3

She holds up one hand to cup by her mouth, as if whispering.

WOMAN: Don’t print my name…. I don’t want to become their next target.

Panel 4

She looks wide-eyed and panicked as she presses the button to hang up the phone.

WOMAN: Even talking to you like this– oh no! Someone’s coming! No, NO! Please, don’t hurt me! AAARGH!

PHONE: Click.

Panel 5

The “camera” has backed very far back, and we can now see that the woman is sitting with a friend at an outdoor table on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant or cafe. The friend is wide-eyed with shock; the woman is sipping her coffee and smiling as if she’s very pleased with herself.

We can also see almost a full block of the sidewalk they’re sitting on, and some of the street. It’s a peaceful street scene; diners sit at tables with striped umbrellas; a mom pushes a baby carriage; a parent bikes by with a toddler seated between the parent and the handle bars; two children play catch; further back, a woman in a black dress bikes, her black hair blowing behind her. The red brick building has green paint accents, and in the distance, trees and a mountain can be seen behind the city buildings.

WOMAN: God, I love out-of-town reporters!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Media criticism |

The Existence of Trains Debate

Cartoon by Barry

Help me keep drawing these cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Each $1 pledge helps.

Transcript of Cartoon

This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a three by three grid, with a small “kicker” panel under the bottom of the cartoon.

Panel 1

We see two people on the train tracks. They are not tied to the tracks, but they are tied together, so neither one could move without the other. One person has black hair in a pony tail; the other has wavy hair and is wearing capri pants. Ponytail has a panicked expression, while Capri looks wryly amused.

PONYTAIL: I can’t believe we’re tied together on the train tracks.

CAPRI: Are we sure these are train tracks?

Panel 2

Ponytail turns her head back towards Capri to urgently suggest a plan.

PONYTAIL: If we work together, we can crawl off before a train comes.

CAPRI: There’s no evidence any train is coming.

Panel 3

Ponytail shouts a bit, angry, and Capri laughs.

PONYTAIL: The train comes at this time every day!

CAPRI: HA! What’s happened in the past can’t predict the future.

Panel 4

Ponytail panics, yelling, and Capri responds with amused dismissal.

PONYTAIL: The tracks are shaking!

CAPRI: it’s natural shaking. Haven’t you heard of earthquakes.

Panel 5

Ponytail angrily yells, and Capri sneers. (It’s a mix of a grin and a sneer).

PONYTAIL: LISTEN TO ME! I’m a train engineer, and

CAPRI: Pfft! “Engineers” are just in it for the money.

Panel 6

A close up of their heads. Ponytail is terrified now, sweat droplets flying off her. Capri remains amused.

PONYTAIL: Let’s get off the tracks, just in case! HURRY!

CAPRI: Expend all that effort over what might be nothing?

Panel 7 

Ponytail yells, her eyes as big as dessert plates.

PONYTAIL: I CAN SEE THE TRAIN! WE’RE GONNA DIE!

CAPRI: You’re being hysterical.

Panel 8

This panel contains only a sound effect, in big overlapping letters, with stars flying around: CRASH

Panel 9

The same two characters are hovering in the sky, in angel outfits, including wings and halos.  Capri is shrugging but still smiling; Ponytail is yelling angrily.

CAPRI ANGEL: Okay, maybe there was a train.

PONYTAIL ANGEL: WHAT’S WRONG WITH YOU?

Small kicker panel under the bottom of the cartoon.

A bald guy talks to a fat guy with a ponytail and glasses (i.e., me, the cartoonist).

BALD GUY: Cute cartoon, but what if some readers don’t get that it’s an allegory for global warming denial?

BARRY: I’ll find some subtle way to let them know!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Environmental cartoons |

If A Fetus Could Talk

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has eight panels.

Panel 1

A woman and a man are walking down a city sidewalk, chatting. The woman is looking a little irritated; the man is holding up a finger in a “that gives me an idea!” gesture.

WOMAN: You know the genre of political cartoon I hate? Pro-life cartoons with a fetus lecturing from inside a womb!

MAN: I should draw one of those!

Panel 2

This panel, and almost all the remaining panels, show a fetus inside a vaguely drawn womb shape, which is itself in a blank void. The fetus, who is drawn to look like a baby rather than like a fetus, is smiling and talking directly to the reader.

FETUS: Hi folks! I’m Frank the friendly fetus, talking from inside the womb!

Panel 3

A close-up  of the smiling fetus’ face. He’s pointing at his head with one finger.

FETUS: Except not really, because you know what? My cerebral cortex isn’t functioning yet!

Panel 4

FETUS: So I can’t talk! Or think! Or feel anything at all – not even pain!

Panel 5

The fetus is giving the “thumbs up” gesture with both hands.

FETUS: So if you need an abortion, go for it! It’s okay! I literally feel nothing and have no preferences!

Panel 6

For the first time, the fetus looks serious rather than smiling. It’s raising a forefinger to make a point.

FETUS: I’m not a person! But the pregnant person is! So it’s up to them to decide!

Panel 7

This panel shows a dark-haired pregnant woman, in a dress and carrying a purse, walking through what looks like a park. The word balloon leads down to her pregnant stomach.

FETUS: Speaking of which, pro-life cartoons often show wombs floating in a blank void. Notice who they’re leaving out?

Panel 8

A shot of the smiling fetus, who is holding up a medical instrument in one hand.

FETUS: In summary: Abort me! Or don’t! It’s your choice!

FETUS: Thank you for coming to my TED Talk.

Posted in Abortion, Barry's favorites, Sexism & Misogyny |

Dear (Some Of) My Fellow Lefties

Cartoon by Barry

Support my Patreon and help me make more cartoons! A $1 pledge matters a lot to me.

TRANSCRIPT OF COMIC

This comic strip has nine panels. The first eight panels each show a single character (a different character in each panel), speaking to the viewer.

PANEL 1

There is a caption at the top of panel 1.

CAPTION: Dear (some of) my fellow lefties:

The art shows a man sitting at a desk, laughing. He’s wearing a white collared shirt and a necktie.

MAN: Ann Coulter is a man! Haw haw!

PANEL 2

An older woman, with white hair and a floral-print blouse, is holding up her hands and laughing, as if she’s telling a joke.

WOMAN: Clarence Thomas’ parents should have named him “Tom.” Get it? Like Uncle Tom?\

WOMAN: As a white liberal, it’s totally my place to say that!

PANEL 3

A man with an enormous beard, wearing sunglasses, a bowler hat, and a coat with big puffs around the collar and wrists, speaks to the viewer, smiling. There’s a bike parked next to him.

MAN: I bet all these anti-gay conservatives are secretly gay!

MAN: Let’s laugh at them for being gay!

MAN: (Not that there’s anything wrong with that.)

PANEL 4

A thin woman, wearing a red knit cap, a hoodie, and hoop earrings, is speaking angrily.

WOMAN: Trump just keeps pulling lies out of his big fat ass!

WOMAN: God fat people disgust me!

WOMAN: Er… I meant, Trump disgusts me!

WOMAN: Whichever!

PANEL 5

A man, wearing glasses and a “this is what a feminist looks like” tee shirt, stands pointing to something on the screen of his tablet. There’s a hillside with paths and a couple of trees behind him.

MAN: When I see pro-life women, I think, who’d even want to get them pregnant?

PANEL 6

A person sits at a small round table, a coffee mug in front of them. They have heavily tattooed arms, the side of their head is shaved, and they’re wearing a small ring on their nose and several more in their ear. They’re smiling and holding one hand up to their mouth as if telling a dirty joke.

PERSON: Guys obsessed with protecting big guns are just making up for they lack downstairs, ifyaknowwhatImean.

PERSON: You do know what I mean, right?

PERSON: I mean penises!

PANEL 7

A woman stands outdoors, dressed for a cool day. She’s got a jacket, a scarf, and a big knit hat. She’s looking a bit aggravated as she speaks.

WOMAN: You know who votes Republican? Inbred, flyover state hillbilly retards!

PANEL 8

A redheaded man sits on a curb, leaning on one hand. He’s wearing a button-up collared shirt, open, over a striped long-sleeved tee. He’s grinning.

MAN: I love it when right-wingers get sent to prison. “Don’t drop the soap!” Ha!

PANEL 9

There is no art in this panel. Instead, the entire panel is black, except for a caption in big white letters.

CAPTION: Shut up and get the hell off my side.

Posted in Ableism, Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance, LGBT cartoons, Racism & Racists, Sexism & Misogyny, Social Justice |

The Five Stages of Finding Out Your Fave is Trash

Cartoon by Barry

Help me keep drawing cartoons by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge helps, and is greatly appreciated.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels.

PANEL 1

There is nothing in this panel but title lettering. The title lettering is done in large, friendly white lettering, but the letters are casting some gritty-looking shadows.

THE FIVE STAGES OF FINDING OUT YOUR FAVE IS TRASH

PANEL 2

This panel shows a woman with black hair yelling angrily at something she’s read on her tablet. She’s holding the tablet in one hand and pointing angrily to something on screen with the other hand.

CAPTION: ANGER

BLACK HAIRED WOMAN: Unfounded rumors! Jealous attention seekers!

PANEL 3

A man sits in front of his laptop. His hair is messy and his eyes are wide, and he looks desperate as he taps taps taps at the keyboard.

CAPTION: BARGAINING

MAN (typing): What he did was bad. But not Weinstein or Polanski bad, right? Right?

PANEL 4

A person lies in bad, with the bedsheet pulled up high enough so that all of their face is covered. They are, however, holding one hand up, forefinger extended, in a “making a point” gesture. Next to the bed, a somewhat bored-looking friend sits in a chair, her face resting on one of her hands.

CAPTION: DEPRESSION

PERSON (in a shaky word balloon): I never want to see a movie again. Or read a book. Or look at a picture. Or…

FRIEND: Er… Wanna try hiking?

PANEL 5

A cocktail party in an art gallery. We can see people milling about and chatting to each other in the background. In the foreground, a person wearing a bowtie is speaking somewhat self-importantly to a couple of other party goers.

CAPTION: DENIAL

PERSON: I never liked his work.

PANEL 6

Two women are in this panel. One, with curly hair, is looking inside a large book of art. Behind her, the black-haired woman from panel one, still holding her tablet, leans towards the curly-haired woman.

CURLY HAIRED WOMAN: Wow, these paintings are amazing!

BLACK HAIRED WOMAN: They are! Too bad the painter’s a creep.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Media criticism, Social Justice |

If Taxation Really WERE Just Like Theft

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons: Support my patreon! A $1 pledge really means a lot.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels, with a caption underneath the bottom of the strip.

PANEL 1
Two women pull back in shock from a mugger holding a gun pointed at them. They are all on a sidewalk; there’s a cracked wall behind them, covered with graffiti. The mugger is dressed like a very stereotypical criminal: Black knit cap, dark sweatshirt, and even a domino mask.

MUGGER: Hand over your money!

PANEL 2
The mugger walks down a sidewalk, cheerfully talking to himself and holding a wad of cash. There’s some grassy hills and trees next to the sidewalk; it might be a park.

MUGGER: Phew! That was a long day of stealing! Now to go use this money!

PANEL 3
The mugger is handing a wad of cash to a workman; the workman is carrying a shovel and wearing a hardhat. They are on a city street, with a sidewalk and alleyway behind them; there are a few large potholes visible on the sidewalk. Both are smiling.

MUGGER: Here’s some money. So you’ll fill in these potholes?
WORKMAN: That’s the job!

PANEL 4
In a supermarket, a mom, pushing a nearly empty shopping cart, is talking to her son. The mugger is nearby, holding out a wad of money to her.

MOM: I don’t know how we’ll afford groceries this month, sweetie.
MUGGER: Pardon me, I’m your mugger. Here’s some money for food.

PANEL 5
The mugger and a businessman in a suit are in a boardroom type place. The mugger is leaning forward on the table to look intently at a big diagram of a missile; there’s also a stack of papers on the table next to him. The businessman is speaking, with a slightly predatory smile on his face, raising a forefinger as if making a point. Both mugger and businessman are seating in plush chairs. There’s a huge window behind them, with a view of the cityscape beyond.

BUSINESSMAN: We have drone missiles that can flatten a city block from half a world away.
MUGGER: Impressive. I’ll buy ten thousand.

PANEL 6
The mugger (still wearing his domino mask, as he has been the entire strip) is standing on A little stage platform in a park. Next to him is a man wearing a hoodie and a ski mask. Both are speaking into microphones; a little crowd is listening to them. The ski mask guy is holding out a hand dramatically; the mugger is holding a hand to his chest in an “I’m just a regular guy” sort of gesture.

SKI MASK DUDE: I’ve got the experience to be your next mugger!
MUGGER: Which mugger would you rather have a beer with? Me!

Below the entire strip is a caption. The caption says: IF TAXATION WERE JUST LIKE THEFT.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Economic cartoons |