These Kids Today Have Always Sucked
October 5th, 2021 Barry Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, History | No Comments »
This cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins, doing the variety of costumes and environments that she excels at.
If you like these cartoons, help us make more by supporting my Patreon! Small donations from lots of donors are what makes it possible for me to keep doing these cartoons, and keep paying Becky for her work.
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has nine panels, arranged in a three-by-three grid. The central panel (panel 5) has no image other than large, friendly, 3-D styled lettering saying “THESE KIDS TODAY HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED.”
Other than panel five, each panel features a single figure speaking, with a caption at the bottom of the panel identifying who they are.
PANEL 1
A cartoon caveman sits alone in a cave by a campfire, angrily ranting.
CAVEMAN: Hrrr hrrr. Urg! Grumble grrr huuuh grunt!
CAPTION: Thag, 20,000 BC
PANEL 2
A bearded man in ancient Greek dress holds a scroll and rolls his eyes as he speaks to the readers with an irritated expression.
ARISTOTLE: Young people think they know everything! And they’re soooo sure about it!
CAPTION: Aristotle, 4th Century BC
PANEL 3
A monk, wearing robes in the style of the Muromachi period of Japanese history, sits in front of a low table, where he’s writing on a scroll. He has paused in his writing to look at the reader.
YOSHIDA KENKO: Modern “fashions” are more and more debased! And their language nowadays is so coarse!
CAPTION: Yoshida Kenko, 1330
PANEL 4
A sour-looking man wearing a long wig of white curls looks directly at the reader, raising a forefinger in an admonishing way.
ROBERT RUSSELL: The towns and streets today are filled with lewd wicked children! They curse and swear and call one another nick-names!
CAPTION: Sir Robert Russell, 1695
PANEL 5
This panel has nothing in it but the title lettering. In large, friendly, 3d styled lettering, it says THESE KIDS TODAY HAVE ALWAYS SUCKED.
PANEL 6
A man in an upper-class 1700s suit sits at a writing-desk, leaning back with his feet on the desk. In one hand he’s holding a quill pen, in the other a bottle of some alcoholic liquid. It’s dark, and a candle on the desk is providing light.
MAN: Whither has the manly vigour of our forefathers flown? Youth today are effeminate, self-admiring, emaciated fribbles!
CAPTION: Town and Country Magazine, 1771
PANEL 7
A man with thick gray eyebrows stands in a hilly field; we can see a village in the distance behind him, and sheep in the field. One of the sheep is standing next to him, placidly eating a plant. The man is wearing a brown Irish flat cap and carrying a walking stick, which he is shaking at the reader.
FALKIRK HERALD: Young people are so pampered nowadays that they have forgotten there was such a thing as walking!
CAPTION: Falkirk Herald, 1951
PANEL 8
A professionally-dressed woman, with long wavy hair and a blue suit, is sitting behind a table with books displayed on it (one of the books is entitled “Kids 2day” and has a frowny face on the cover; her other book’s cover has a picture an iphone with devil horns and a smiley face). A TV camera is pointed at her, and a microphone is pointed at her. She smiles as she speaks to the camera.
JEAN TWENGE: Millennials got participation trophies growing up! So now they’re fame-obsessed, narcissistic, stunted and lazy.
CAPTION: Dr. Jean Twenge, 2013.
PANEL 9
A smartly-dressed woman with spiky white hair sits at the counter of a coffee shop, thumb-typing on her smartphone. She’s got big teardrop earrings and a necklace with a large stone with a spiral pattern. A word balloon points at her smartphone, showing us what she’s typing.
AUNT: And don’t even get me started on Gen Z!
CAPTION: Probably your aunt or something, just last week.
