Why We Need Don’t Say Gay Laws
December 16th, 2023 Barry Posted in Barry's favorites, Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Nadine Scholtes collaborations, Right-wingers | No Comments »
This cartoon was drawn by the wonderful Nadine Scholtes. The unicorns and rainbows were Nadine’s idea, and I love them.
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon ahs four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the cartoon.
PANEL 1
Two teenagers are standing in a library, and talking directly to the reader. Billy, the boy, is wearing a football uniform and carrying a football. The girl, Sally, is wearing a cheerleader outfit. Billy has his arm around Sally’s shoulders, and Sally is affectionately holding the arm.
BILLY: Hi! I’m Billy Allamerican, and this is my girlfriend Sally.
SALLY: We’re both extremely typical heterosexual high schoolers!
PANEL 2
A person wearing a rainbow-colored sweatshirt, matching their rainbox colored hair, and wearing a big peace sign pendant, and a pinback which says “THEY THEM,” comes in, talking to Billy and Sally. They’re holding up a book with a sparkling cover with the title BE GAY. Billy looks surprised, and Sally looks puzzled.
BILLY: Oh look, it’s Ms Woke, our school librarian!
WOKE: Hi, Kids! Have you read this gay book?
SALLY: What’s “Gay”?
PANEL 3
This panel has a large caption at the top, which says “LITERALLY ONE DAY LATER” in pink lettering.
The panel shows Billy and Sally, standing out on a field. There are smiling unicorns with rainbow manes and tails rearing up on either side of them, and a rainbow behind them. Everything is sparkling.
Billy is now dressed and posed as a stereotypical flaming gay man, wearing a pink shirt and tan capris. Sally is wearing black boots with big buckles and dark shorts and shirt, and is holding an electric razor and shaving one side of her head. Even though it’s been barely a day and her legs were totally hairless in panel one, we can see hair growing on her legs.
BILLY: Now that we’re gay, Sally, I’ve quit the football team to become a communist florist!
SALLY: That’s so cool, Billy! I’m going to shave my head and become a witch!
The panel border between panels 3 and 4 is a thought balloon.
PANEL 4
The right panel border of panel 3 is a thought balloon border, which leads to the head of the first speaker in panel 4 (indicating that panel 3 was in his imagination). There are two guys here; they’re sitting at a bar, with beers in mugs.
The first man is a gray-haired man with a beard and mustache, wearing a white button-up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, and a red necktie. He’s holding up one finger as if he’s making a point. We’ll call him NECKTIE.
The second man is bald and a little chubby, with a beard and mustache, and wearing a red plaid shirt. We’ll call him PLAID.
NECKTIE: And THAT’S why we need “Don’t Say Gay” laws!
PLAID: Makes sense.
TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON
Necktie and Sally (with a crew-cut and wearing dark makeup) are talking; Necktie is in a panic, while Sally is cheerful.
NECKTIE: Why would anyone be straight if we let them know there are other options?
SALLY: Exactly!
