I’ve Got Nothing Against Trans People. But…

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is by Becky Hawkins and I.

Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A buck or two makes a real difference.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels.

PANEL 1

A white woman with a big smile and brown hair is smiling and holding up a book. The book is entitled “Save The Children” and shows a small crying girl behind bars with a red frowny face over her abdomen.

The woman appears to be on TV – a two-level scrolling chyron at the bottom of the panel reads “Gay Menace Is Now Trans Menace” and “…enator says woke trans stole her lunch mone…”

WOMAN: My book is about how trans people are indoctrinating our children and enticing lesbian girls to become transgenders!

WOMAN: Please understand I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 2

A middle-aged white male politician, wearing a gray suit, is speaking from behind a podium; we can see that a TV camera is pointed at him. The podium has a seal that says “Real America.” He’s standing in front of two American flags. He holds up a finger to make a point.

POLITICIAN: My legislation bans medical care to help trans kids and teens. AND forces teachers to report transgenders to their parents.

POLITICIAN: It will also let doctors, nurses and pharmacists refuse to treat transgenders!

POLITICIAN: Of course I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 3

A white man with a full beard, wearing a open neck shirt under a suit jacket, is sitting in front of a laptop and typing rapidly (“tap tap tap tap tap tap tap”). He’s grinning in an unfriendly way. On the table next to his laptop are a number of take-out coffee cups, a crumpled-up soda can, and a mug that says “Liberal Tears.”  In the space above his laptop, we can see what he’s typing.

MAN: Why say “trans women” when I can say “men wearing dresses” instead?

MAN: But I’ve got NOTHING against trans people!

PANEL 4

A hand holds a smartphone. On the smartphone screen, we can see a red-headed woman in a gown, wearing a dress with blue earrings and a blue necklace, sitting comfortably on a huge, old-fashioned wooden chair that would look at home in Hogwarts. She leans on one arm and makes an open gesture with her other palm.

REDHEAD: I’ve spent YEARS writing about how the trans movement is a mortal danger to REAL women. It’s practically my only subject!

REDHEAD: But I’ve got nothing against trans people.

PANEL 5

The set of a TV chat show called “Just Asking Questions.” (We know that’s what it’s called because “Just Asking Questions” is printed in huge letters on the side of the table the guests are sitting around. Plants on either side of the set are in pots with the painted on words “The JAQ Off.”)

The host, a nicely-dressed woman with stylish hair, sits in a chair on the left, smiling. Her guests, seating around the table, are the four characters we met in the first four panels of this comic strip.

HOST: Why do so many trans people say you’ve got something against them?

“SAVE THE CHILDREN” AUTHOR LADY: (shrugs as if bewildered)

POLITICIAN (arms folded, above-it-all expression): It’s a Mystery.

BEARDED DUDE: (ignores everything around him while he grins and types quickly on his smartphone)

REDHEAD: I blame cancel culture.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Overwhelmed

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, please support my Patreon! Lots of people making small pledges adds up to me making a living, which is rather cool.

This cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels. Each of the panels shows the same character, a bearded man wearing glasses and a checked shirt open over a tee shirt.

PANEL 1

The man is walking, bent over like he has a heavy weight on his back. He’s surrounded by a twisting, circling ribbon that says things like: ABLEISM LONELINESS TRANSPHOBIA RACISM POLICE VIOLENCE DISEASE POVERTY GENTRIFICATION and so on. The man is talking to himself. The background is a dull greenish gray.

MAN: There’s too much wrong with the world! I’m overwhelmed!

PANEL 2

The background turns bright yellow as the man straightens up and talks towards the sky, with an expression and body language indicating determination. The twisty ribbon has disappeared.

MAN: Enough! From now on I’ll just think about the single most important issue! Which is global warming! No other issues matter if the Earth is destroyed!

PANEL 3

The background color dims back towards a green-gray as the man thinks it through, a hand on his chin in a “I’m thinking” gesture.

MAN: Of course, we can’t deal with climate change until we can hold corporations accountable…

MAN: …which can’t happen without a better government…

MAN: But we can’t have a better government while elections are so broken…

MAN: …which means we have to be looking at racism! And classism!

MAN: …and… and…

PANEL 4

The background has become a dull green gray, similar to the first panel but darker. A yellow spotlight-type light picks out the man, who has crouched onto the ground, face down, almost in a fetal position. The ribbon is back, but this time, instead of swooping around him in many directions, it’s a single big spiral seemingly pressing him down. The lettering on the ribbon says “CLIMATE CHANGEVOTING RIGHTSBROKEN DEMOCRATIC CAPITALISM RACISM POVERTY…” and so on.

This panel has no dialog.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations |

Arguing On The Internet

Cartoon by Barry

Please help us make more swell cartoons by supporting my Patreon!

(Patrons got to see this cartoon months before I posted it in public.)

This cartoon is drawn by my awesome and frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins. I especially love what she did with the expression and lighting on the character’s face in the last panel.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny additional “kicker” panel under the fourth panel.

PANEL 1

We see a woman with bright purple hair is sitting at a desk, facing a desktop computer, and facepalming. The room looks like an apartment or house, not a place of business.

There’s an open soda can next to her. In the background we can see a window with blue sky, a poster that combines the anarchy “A” symbol with a drawing of a cat face and the caption “Equality! Justice! Naps!,” and a cat lying on a cat bed below the window.

There is a computer-drawn rectangular word balloon, with sound effects reading “tap tap tap tap” leading from the balloon towards the computer, showing what she’s typing on the computer.

TYPED ON THE COMPUTER: If you’d look at the evidence for even a second you’d see tha

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): What am I even doing?

PANEL 2

The same shot. The purple-haired woman has leaned back a bit and has a hand on her chin as she thinks. In the background, the cat has looked up at her with a little ? floating over its head.

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): I’ve been arguing online for hours. He’s not gonna change his mind. There are so many better things I could be doing.

PANEL 3

A close shot of her, now with wide eyes and a big smile, looking up a bit in anticipation.

PURPLEHAIR (in a thought balloon): Yes! I’ll organize a zoom with friends I haven’t seen lately! And take a walk! And I’ll finally volunteer for that anti-hunger group. Starting right now!

PANEL 4

The same shot as the first two panels. But it’s much darker now; through the window we can see the moon and stars. The only source of light in this room seems to be the computer monitor, shining on Purplehair’s face. There are now many more empty soda cans scattered around her.

Purplehair is typing, leaning foward, looking angry but also exhausted; her eyes are wide and bloodshot (in a cartoony comedy fashion). Her cat is leaning against her shoulder, trying to get her attention. The cat has a little thought balloon with a picture of a can of cat food in it.

Another computer-style speech balloon has the “tap tap tap tap” sound effect leading from the balloon towards the computer keyboard.

TYPED ON THE COMPUTER: And ANOTHER thing! Why do YOU guys ALWAYS SAY you’re fo

TINY KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE COMIC STRIP

We see Purplehair’s face; she has a huge satisfied smile and is glowing.

PURPLEHAIR: I’ve done it – I’ve proven that a stranger on the internet is wrong!

PURPLEHAIR: Now I’ll never have to do that again!

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Uncategorized |

Irreproachable Taste

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon! Every $2 or $1 pledge really helps. Patreon supporters saw this cartoon more than two months early.

Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins.

I particularly liked the way Becky, inspired by some photos of ceramic art galleries, colored the backgrounds. She also created a recognizable aesthetic that’s carried through on all three of the pieces seen on display – certainly not something I called for in my script! Seeing details like that, which I hadn’t even thought about, is a big pleasure of collaboration.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This comic strip has four panels. There is an additional small fifth panel, the “kicker” panel, underneath the comic strip.

PANEL 1

This panel shows a man with a van dyke beard, a cable knit sweater, and a fisherman’s cap (although the man doesn’t look at all like a fisherman!) in a fancy art gallery. The gallery is displaying artistically wrinkled pottery; we can see two pieces on pedestals, and a third piece hung on a wall in the background. Soft spotlight lighting picks the art out.

The man is leaning his elbow on a pedestal, looking confident and happy as he lectures a small crowd of people in the gallery.

MAN: John Smyth is the biggest influence on my pottery. Whatever I know as a potter, I learned studying Smyth’s work.

PANEL 2

A longer shot as the man continues to smile and speak. However, he’s interrupted by a glasses-wearing person in the audience, who raises a finger.

MAN: No one potting today is as innovative and exciting as…

GLASSES: Did you see four women just came forward with #Metoo accusations against Smyth?

PANEL 3

The exact same shot as panel 2, but now the man is no longer confident; he is wide-eyed, his mouth has dropped open a bit, and he’s sweating. The audience looks at him, waiting for his response.

PANEL 4

A closer shot as the man puts a hand over his heart as he speaks to the crowd. His eyes are shut; he’s trying to look sincere.

MAN: I never liked Smyth’s work.

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OFTHE COMIC STRIP

A blonde woman with nice earrings speaks directly to the viewer, looking just a bit angry.

WOMAN: I know nothing about Mr. Smyth or these allegations… but clearly this is yet another anti-male witch hunt!

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Sexism & Misogyny |

Feminism Used To Be Good

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon! (Patrons got to see this cartoon three months early!)

Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL ONE

We are looking at a smartphone being held by a hand. On the phone, a man is cheerfully talking to the camera (and presumably, to the person holding the phone). He’s wearing a t shirt that says “Make Orwell Fiction Again,” and on the wall behind him is a “V for Vendetta” poster with the Guy Fawkes mask pictured, and a poster showing a sad kitten face and the caption “FACTS don’t care about your FEELINGS.” In the upper right corner of the screen, there’s a smaller image of a woman’s face, presumably the person he’s talking to.

MAN: Feminism used to be about fixing inequality but now that’s solved and it’s just about giving women unfair advantages!

PANEL TWO

A group of protestors stands holding protest signs, mostly about apartheid and about President Reagan – “Musicians against apartheid,” “human rights now,” “Reagan sucks,” and “Divestment now” can be read. A big red brick building and trees in the background make this look like it’s probably a college campus in autumn. Centered on the panel, A man with glasses is talking to a woman (the woman is wearing a pink triangle button).  This panel is pretty much how I remember protests at Oberlin College in the 1980s.

MAN: Feminism used to be about fixing inequality…

PANEL THREE

A hillside in what looks like a public park on a warm, sunny day. In the background, we can see groups of young people sitting on the grass. In the foreground, we see a man and a woman dressed as hippies – her in long straight hair, loose floral dress, flower headband, and holding a tambourine, him with long hair and a full beard, wearing a necklace of large beads, and a vest, and holding a guitar.

MAN: But now that’s all solved…

PANEL FOUR

We are inside a cave, looking at two stereotypical cartoon cavepeople, one female and one male. They are holding big drumstick-looking pieces of meat and sitting around a small fire.

CAVEMAN: …and it’s just about giving women unfair advantages!

This cartoon on Patreon

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Sexism & Misogyny |

The Triheads vs The Squareheads

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is a collaboration between myself (script and lettering), Becky Hawkins (classroom scenes), and Naomi Rubin (Triheads vs Squareheads scenes).

If you like these cartoons, help me make more (and help me pay my swell collaborators!) by supporting my Patreon. Thanks!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. Each panel shows a schoolteacher reading from an illustrated children’s book; in some panels, we also see images from the book.

PANEL 1

This panel shows a teacher, who is white, reading aloud from a book. Above her, we can see the illustration from the page she’s reading. The illustration shows a bunch of cartoon people, some of whom have triangle-shaped heads, some of whom have rectangular heads. They are smiling and shaking hands and putting arms on each others backs in a companionable manner. In front of them, two children – one with a rectangular head, one with a triangular head – kick a ball around in the grass.

TEACHER: “And when they saw Jumball Trihead and Bigapie Squarehead playing happily together, the grown-ups realized it was silly to hate each other just because they looked different!”

TEACHER: “And that’s how they all stopped being racist!”

TEACHER: Any questions?

PANEL 2

The “camera” zooms out a little, and we can see that there are small children seated on the floor listening to the teacher. One small girl, who is Black, has gotten up and is handing the Teacher a book. The teacher accepts it cheerfully.

IMANI: Miss Martin? My mommy wrote more about the triheads and bigheads. She said it’s a “corrected version.”

TEACHER: Oh, it’s about the same characters! How marvelous! Thank you, Imani.

PANEL 3

The teacher, with a concerned and slightly frightened expression, is reading aloud from the new book. Above her, we see an illustration from the book: A Trihead, speaking straight out to the reader with an angry expression, slams a fist into a palm. Behind him, in silhouette, several Squareheads are trudging along, bowed and weary, chained together chain-gang style.

TEACHER: It says, “The story you’ve heard about the triheads and squareheads is lies. Here’s what really happened.”

TEACHER: “The Triheads kidnapped the Squareheads and enslaved them for hundreds of years.”

TEACHER: “Oh dear.”

PANEL 4

We see the children listening with wide-eyed, somewhat stunned expressions.

Above them, we see an illustration from the book. Two Squareheads lean against a gray wall, as if preparing to be frisked. A Trihead wearing a police or prison guard uniform glares at them. They all seem to be in a barred area. In front of the bars, another Trihead sits at a desk, reading a copy of “The Bell Curve.”

TEACHER: “It took a whole war to free the enslaved squareheads. But even after the war, triheads used laws, violence, and prisons to crush squareheads.”

TEACHER: “This was racism. It was too big and structural to be fixed by Jumball and Bigapie playing together.”

PANEL 5

A close-up of the teacher, who now looks very frightened but keeps on reading aloud. Above her, we see an illustration from the book. A Trihead is lying on the grass, head leaning against a tree, crying a spout of tears from each eye. Next to the Trihead, a standing Squarehead rolls their eyes, arms folded. And next to the Squarehead, a second Trihead is talking to the Squarehead with an accusatory expression, while pointing at the crying Trihead.

TEACHER: “Whenever a Squarehead complained about all the racism, Triheads yelled “How dare you accuse me of racism! Stop imagining things!”

PANEL 6

A shot of the classroom, no illustration. The teacher is turning towards Imani and asking her a question.  The teacher looks worried. Imani, now sitting cross-legged on the floor, replies with an “I don’t know” shrug.

TEACHER: “Another hundred years later…”

TEACHER: Imani, when does this story end?

IMANI: Mommy says we don’t know yet.

This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Racism & Racists |

It’s Always The Sick Person’s Fault

Cartoon by Barry

Today’s cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins.

Help me keep making cartoons by supporting my patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, all the same size, arranged in a three by three grid. The panels show figures on a blank colored background, mostly alternating between light blue and cream. Every panel features “Bob,” a white man in a blue polo shirt and tan pants. Bob has a mustache and beard, and wears glasses.

PANEL 1

Bob addresses the reader directly, calmly, spreading his palms to make a point.

BOB: Whenever someone whines that they can’t afford medical care, they don’t deserve help. Because when I look, it’s always their own fault!

PANEL 2

Bob continues speaking, but turns to the side to greet Dr. Jones, a woman wearing a white lab coat over blue scrubs, carrying a clipboard, and wearing a stethoscope around her neck, because Becky and I really, really wanted it to be really, really obvious that this character is a doctor. Cartooning!

BOB: Maybe they’re fat. Or they smoke. Maybe they didn’t save enough. Or maybe they—

BOB: Oh, hello, Dr. Jones.

PANEL 3

In a closer shot, the doctor speaks seriously to Bob while pointing at something on her clipboard. Bob’s eyes have gone wide.

DR JONES: Bad news, Bob — you’ve got a serious condition that will require months of expensive treatment.

PANEL 4

As the doctor walks out of the right edge of the panel, Bob nervously watching her, a gray-haired man in a suit and tie enters from the left.

DOCTOR: You should have gotten tested sooner. Or had better genes. Bye!

SUIT: Hi, Bob! I’m from your insurance company.

PANEL 5

A close shot shows the man in the suit leaning close to Bob and pointing at something on a piece of paper. Bob still looks in shock.

SUIT: Good news! We found a loophole in your policy! Wo we only have to pay $20,000 of your expected $700,000 medical bill!

PANEL 6

Bob leans towards the departing guy in the suit, yelling big with both his arms upraised. A sound effect pointing towards a rectangular lump in Bob’s pocket – “brring! brring!” – indicates Bob’s cell phone is ringing.

BOB: THAT’S NOT GOOD NEWS!

SUIT: Next time, read the 12th page of small print more carefully.

PANEL 7

Here we see Bob, looking very lost and frightened in a close-up, holding his cell phone up to an ear as he listens. His boss’ voice comes from the cell phone. Reflecting Bob’s mood, this panel is colored completely in shades of red.

BOSS: Bob, it’s your boss. You’ve used all your sick leave and you still can’t work. We’re letting you go.

BOSS: It’s your own fault for not working while sick.

PANEL 8

There’s no dialog in this panel. Bob, biting his nails and seeming very nervous, looks towards the readers out of the corner of his eye, as if just remembering that the readers are there.

PANEL 9

Bob, having calmed down, returns to addressing the reader directly, with a somewhat smug expression.

BOB: Well, of course I’m virtuous and deserve help. But other sick people have only themselves to blame!

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Health care |

What Kind of People Sexualize Children?

Cartoon by Barry

Please support these cartoons on Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.

This strip was drawn by my frequent collaborator Becky Hawkins.  As usual, Becky excels at communicating setting after setting in small panels; I think the store interior in panel 3 is particularly nice. I also love the way she ages Lucy and Lucy’s dad from panel to panel.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a tiny “kicker” panel below the bottom of the comic.

PANEL 1

Two toddlers, one a blonde girl dressed in pink, and the other a boy in blue, are playing in a sandbox in a park. They aren’t paying any attention to each other. The girl is just sort of making a pile of sand; the boy is experimentally biting on the handle of the little plastic shovel (and seems to be enjoying it). In the background, two adults are watching the kids and talking to each other, a red-headed man (who I’ll call “Dad”) and a blonde woman.

DAD: Look at Lucy, flirting and making eyes at him!

WOMAN: Look at him, showing off for her!

PANEL 2

We seem to be outside a school building or daycare; the building is made of red bricks, and we can see paper cut-out hearts taped to the large windows. In front of the building, near a hopscotch game chalked onto the pavement, is Lucy (two or three years older, but we can recognize her by the similar shade of pink and the blonde hair) and another boy. The boy is yanking on Lucy’s pony tail, and Lucy looks annoyed. In the foreground, two adults – including the redheaded dad from panel 1 – are watching, looking amused. (The other adult is a woman, but not the same woman as the woman in panel 1).

DAD: I think Lucy has a boyfriend!

WOMAN: It’ll be so cute if they marry each other someday!

PANEL 3

We are in a shop with fancy, bright-colored dresses and costume jewelry and stuff. The redheaded man, now maybe a bit fuller around the waist, is chatting to a shopgirl while gesturing towards a burgundy outfit on a mannequin. The outfit is very fancy, and has two pieces, a band shirt and a short skirt, leaving the mannequin’s waist bare. Lucy, now looking a few years older, is looking up at the outfit expressionlessly.

MAN: I just couldn’t wait to get Lucy on the pageant circuit! Lucy, let’s try this one on you!

PANEL 4

Some years later, Lucy – now looking like a young teen – and her dad (now quite a bit chubbier, and his hairline is beginning to recede) are sitting at home, dad in a comfortable looking armchair, while Lucy sits at a table in the background doing homework. Lucy is looking up at her dad, and a “!” has appeared next to her head. Dad is speaking and gesturing angrily at something on his smartphone.

DAD: Just look at this! Diagnosing children as “trans”… Prescribing “puberty blockers”… What kind of people sexualize children?

SMALL KICKER PANEL BELOW THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist is speaking to the redheaded dad. The redheaded dad – apparently older, as his hairline has receded further – is turning away from Barry the cartoonist.

BARRY: Trans children’s healthcare isn’t about “sex.” It’s about identity, comfort, and—

DAD: Can’t talk — Lucy and I need to practice our purity ball dance.

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

A Trans Man Walks Into The City Clerk’s Office…

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins.

Please support these cartoons on Patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

There are four panels, plus an additional small “kicker” panel under the cartoon.

PANEL 1

Inside a mustard-yellow government building – an old one with arched ceilings – people wait on line to talk to a woman in one of those windows embedded in an internal wall, for government workers to talk to people without being in the same room as them.

What are those windows called? I have no idea.

Next to the window, a sign on the wall says “Office of the City Clerk.”

On the public side of the window, a young man wearing a blue shirt, and carrying a brown document bag slung over a shoulder, is talking to a blonde woman on the other side of the window. The woman has short hair with spiky bangs, pink cats eye glasses, and is wearing a purple shirt with sleeves that end about halfway down her forearm. We’ll call him “BLUE” and her “CLERK.”

BLUE: Hi! I need to change my name and switch my gender marker to “M.”

CLERK: Oh, so you’re trans? Okay!

PANEL 2

A closer shot of the two of them. She’s handing a document to him as she talks cheerfully. His back is to us, so we can’t see his face.

CLERK: First, you’ll need to pay to have your name change announced in a newspaper. You’ll need an appointment for a court hearing… That can take months. Meanwhile, hire a notary to watch someone you know sign this affidavit.

PANEL 3

The “camera” has moved to a position from which we can see both characters’ faces. She is handing him a HUGE stack of papers. His eyes are wide and he looks shocked as he eyes the stack.

CLERK: When you go to court, bring money for court fees and a letter from your therapist. And that’s just for your driver’s license. There’s lots more for your social security and birth certificate. Here are some of the forms you’ll need.

CLERK: Next!

PANEL 4

Blue has left, and now a young woman with long brown hair is standing at the window, showing the Clerk a piece of paper. The clerk is smiling and making a thumbs up gesture.

WOMAN: Hi! I’m a bride, and I need to change my name. Here’s my marriage license.

CLERK: Done! Have a nice day.

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE CARTOON

Barry the cartoonist is talking to the clerk.

BARRY: Is this the state rewarding people for being gender normative?

CLERK: I can tell you for a fee.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

You Look Great!

Cartoon by Barry

Another collaboration with the wonderful Becky Hawkins!

If you like these cartoons, please support them on Patreon! A small pledge makes a big difference.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a small additional “kicker” panel underneath the cartoon.

PANEL 1

We see a woman seated in a doctor’s office, facing the doctor’s desk. The woman has cat’s-eye glasses and purple hair, and is quite fat. She’s holding her hands in front of her mouth, looking afraid. We’ll call her GLASSES.

On the other side of the desk, the doctor is seated, talking to Glasses. She’s displaying a plastic model showing the anatomy of the head and neck.

DOCTOR: Your cancer is treatable. But it’s going to be a  hard road.

PANEL 2

A caption at the top of the panel says ONE MONTH LATER.

Glasses is lying in a hospital bed, which has it’s head side partly raised. She’s lying on her side, facing away from her visitor, looking limp, her eyes mostly shut.

In the other side of the bed, a visitor, a balding middle-aged man wearing a green tee shirt, is holding a spoon in one hand and a container (jello, maybe?) in the other. He looks very worried.

VISITOR: Please eat something…

GLASSES: I… I don’t think I can.

PANEL 3

A caption at the top of the panel says THREE MONTHS LATER.

Glasses, wearing a hospital gown and slippers, is walking in a dreary hospital corridor. She’s using a walker, and with one hand she’s holding a cell phone by her face, talking to someone. She looks cheerful. She’s much thinner than she was in panel 1, with bags under her eyes and her cheekbones standing out.

GLASSES: I’m not completely out of the woods yet. But they say I can go home.

PANEL 4

A caption at the top of the panel says THE NEXT DAY.

Glasses, dressed in a blue blouse and white pants, is on the front yard of a nice-looking adobe bungalow house with a tiled roof, approaching the front door. We can see that this house is one of a row of similar houses on this block. Other than the clothes, she looks a lot like she did in panel three, and is again using a walker.

A friend is standing in the doorway, greeting her cheerfully. Glasses’ mouth is open, but she’s not speaking; she doesn’t know what to say.

FRIEND: Wow, you lost so much weight! You look great!

SMALL KICKER PANEL UNDER THE COMIC

The same friend is talking to Glasses; glasses still looks surprised.

FRIEND: Man, I wish I could get cancer!

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Fat Acceptance |

Transgenderism Is Coming! Run Away!

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, support them on Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really helps.

This cartoon was drawn by Becky Hawkins, who did an amazing job. I just love the variety of expressions and little movements she put in there. (It was also Becky’s idea to have it be a cable TV yapping show of some sort; in my original sketch, it was just three people talking on zoom.)

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel underneath the cartoon.

The first three panels all show some sort of news or talk show, in which the screen is divided “zoom” style to show three pundits who are talking to each other from separate locations. There’s a large window, for whomever is currently speaking, and then two smaller windows with the other two pundits.

The three are: A white man with a beard and mustache, in front of a cityscape background; a white woman with brown hair and a blue blouse, in front of red-white-and-blue stripes; and a white woman with blonde hair and an off-white blouse, with a framed something on the wall and a houseplant behind her. I will call these characters CITYSCAPE, STRIPES, and HOUSEPLANT.

At the bottom of the largest window, a chyron – which is the word for captions at the bottom of news programs – displays changing messages. It is presumably scrolling, so not all of each message fits on screen at once.

PANEL 1

Cityscape looks angry; the other two look grimly concerned.

CITYSCAPE: These “transgenders” jump down your throat if you don’t use their “preferred pronoun.” That’s why I’m not friends with any.

CHYRON: …ew study proves liberals are stupid…

PANEL 2

Houseplant, in the main window, is making airquotes. Stripes is screaming, her fists raised in the air. Cityscape has his arms crossed and looks serious.

HOUSEPLANT: I don’t know any “gender nonbinaries,” but I heard that anyone who uses the “wrong” pronoun is fired and blacklisted!

STRIPES: Transgenderism is the new fascism!

CHYRON: …God hates who you whate, says sour…

PANEL 3

Stripes, now in the main window, looks very frightened and wide-eyed, like she’s about to cry. In the smaller windows, Cityscape looks sad and Houseplant is shaking her head with her arms akimbo.

STRIPES: Can you imagine the Hell of actually associating with these people? Watching every word… Living in constant fear… Knowing that the slightest misstep means you’re cancelled! Forever!

CHYRON: Scientist: Watching Fox cures cance…

PANEL 4

This panel shows a person with curly hair in a low ponytail and a purple shirt holding up a tablet. On the tablet’s screen we can see the other person in the conversation, who has glasses and bright pink hair. Ponytail looks concerned, Pinkhair is smiling and looks cheery.

PINKHAIR: By the way, you said “he.” I use “they.”

PONYTAIL: Oops! Thanks, I’ll try not to do that again.

PINKHAIR: Thanks! Hey, did you see that turtle video?

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE CARTOON

An angry short-haired white man is yelling and pointing at Barry, who looks taken aback.

ANGRY MAN: This cartoon is bull! I “misgender” transgenders for fun on twitter all the time, and lots of them get angry!

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

Terfluffle at the Supermarket

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more of these cartoons at my Patreon! A $1 or $2 pledge really matters.

This cartoon was written by me and drawn by my most frequent collaborator, Becky Hawkins. Becky also came up with the title. Thanks Becky!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1

Two women are talking in a supermarket. The first, a woman with stylish glasses and her blonde hair pulled into a low bun, and wearing a reddish orange dress with matching shoes, is grinning with a smug expression and holding up her phone to show the other woman.

The second woman has short brown hair, worn in a style called a “quiff”:  “short hair that’s left longer on top and dramatically swept to the side.” She’s wearing jeans, brown boots, an open red button-up shirt over a white tee, and four piercings in her ear.

The two are waiting on line by a counter at a supermarket; we can see a glassed-in counter (like a Supermarket deli) behind them, with ad pictures on the wall showing a sub sandwich, a big joint of meat with slices carved off, and a salad.

GLASSES: As a feminist, I look for small ways to fight misogyny every day!

BOOTS: What a great idea!

PANEL 2

A close up of Glasses, holding up her phone in one hand, and raising her other hand’s forefinger to make a point, still smiling widely.

GLASSES: Like, here on FaceBook I told a trans “woman” that he‘s just a man in a dress!

GLASSES: And on Twitter I said that all transgenders rape women by appropriating women’s bodies!

PANEL 3

Another close up of Glasses, reading her own screen and laughing big, but with a rather mean expression.

GLASSES: And here, I said transgender “women” are to women what Twinkies are to food!

GLASSES (very large): HA!

PANEL 4

In a shot similar to panel 1’s shot, we see Glasses continuing to smile and talk to Boots. Boots, with a horrified expression, has turned away from Glasses and is now holding her own smartphone, which she’s frenetically typing on with a forefinger.

GLASSES: So what’s a small way you’re fighting misogyny?

BOOTS: Telling everyone I’ve ever met to block you.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |

It Weighs You Down

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon is another collaboration with Becky Hawkins. You can see all of the political cartoons we’ve done together here.

If you like these cartoons, help there by more by pledging $1 or $2 at my patreon! Every bit helps.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has nine panels, in three rows of three panels each. Five of the panels have black and gray paint forming cloudy, dark abstract shapes, while the other four have non-abstract drawings. The two types of panels alternate, creating a checkerboard pattern. The abstract panels get darker as the strip goes on, until by the last panel it’s mostly black. Each of the abstract panels has a caption in plain white lettering.

PANEL 1

A cloudy field of gray paint, with a caption near the top, which says: AFTER

PANEL 2

We’re on an airplane; people are finding their seats. A fat man with glasses and a red-orange polo shirt is seated on the aisle; a thin woman with a scarf, pushing a roll along suitcase, has paused next to his seat and turned to speak to the person behind her in the aisle.

SCARF WOMAN: Oh God, do I have to sit next to him?

PANEL 3

A cloudy field of gray paint, with a caption near the middle. The lettering is a little diagonal, rather than straight, and the second word is lower than the first. It says: A WHILE

PANEL 4

A laundromat. The same fat man we saw on the plane, is in the foreground, looking up blankly in the middle of folding laundry. Mounted high on the wall behind him, next to a row of driers, is a TV that’s showing some sort of talk show, with three people seated on a couch facing the camera.

Clinging to the fat man’s back is the woman’s word balloon from the airplane panel.

Person On TV: Let’s face it, fat people choose to be like that!

PANEL 5

A cloudy field of gray and some black paint, with a caption a bit below the middle. The lettering is a bit more diagonal than in panel 3, and the second word is sunk much lower than the first. It says: IT WEIGHS

PANEL 6

We see the fat man again, in a coffee shop holding a mug, looking up with an unhappy expression. Behind his back, we can see the people sitting at the next table over. One of them, a thin man wearing a sleeveless shirt and jogging shorts, is grinning and holding up a finger as he makes a point.

There are now two word balloons clinging to the fat man’s back, the woman’s word balloon from the airplane panel, and the TV’s word balloon from the laundromat panel.

JOGGING SHORTS MAN:  …put the donuts down and get off the sofa now and then!

PANEL 7

A cloudy field, about equally split between black and gray. The caption is now at a 45 degree angle and is near the bottom of the panel. It says: YOU

PANEL 8

The same fat man, identifiable because of his red-orange shirt, is lying limp on the floor, arms spread out, possibly unconscious; we can recognize him from his body shape and red-orange shirt.

His face is covered by a pile of word balloons on his trunk, formed by all the word balloons from the previous three panels we’ve seen him in – “put the donuts down” and “fat people choose to  be like that” and “have to sit next to him?” — topped off by a new balloon spoken by an off-panel voice.

OFF PANEL VOICE: You’d look so much better if you’d lose some weight.

PANEL 9

A cloudy field of black and gray paint, with the black paint dominating. The caption is diagonal and so far down in the panel that parts of the letters disappear below the bottom of the cartoon. We can still see that it says: DOWN

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Fat Acceptance |

Where’s The Fat Shaming?

Cartoon by Barry

This comic was written by Barry Deutsch and drawn by Becky Hawkins.

If you like these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon!

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels.

PANEL 1
A woman is seating in a coffee shop, gesturing at something on her laptop screen that’s annoyed her, as she rolls her eyes. In this and the next two panels, the woman is addressing the reader.
WOMAN: I hate it when fat people complain about “fat shaming.”

PANEL 2
The same woman, a slightly closer shot, as she pounds a fist on the table in front of her.
WOMAN: Obesity is a crisis! American can’t afford coddling fat people any more!

PANEL 3
A close up of the woman, as she makes “air quotes” with her fingers.
WOMAN: We’re all so “politically correct” that fat people are getting the message that it’s okay to be fat! The problem is that fat people aren’t being shamed!

PANEL 4
New scene. A fat person sits in her home, holding up a smartphone. A friend of hers, with a concerned expression, is on the couch next to her. A flat screen TV is on the wall in front of her; a smiling news anchor is speaking, and there’s a graphic of carrots onscreen next to him. There’s a magazine lying on the table next to the sofa.
The magazine, the news guy on the TV, the smart phone, and the friend all share a single word balloon, which has the word SHAME in huge letters.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Fat Acceptance |

Portland Is A War Zone!

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! Believe it or not, this is how I earn a living; the bulk of my income comes from $1 pledges.

This comic is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins; I wrote the script, Becky did the art. More of our political cartoon collabs can be found here. And we create a webcomic together, SuperButch.

Years from now, if anyone reads this cartoon, I bet they’ll be going “concrete milkshakes? What the heck is a concrete milkshake?”

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has five panels. The first four panels are narrow, and show a tight close-up of a woman’s head and shoulders as she talks on a cell phone. The final panel is a long shot, showing a sidewalk scene.

Panel 1

A woman with blonde hair, and glasses pushed up on top of her head, talks on a cell phone. She looks frightened.

WOMAN: If you don’t live in Portland, you can’t imagine what it’s like. It’s a friggin’ war zone here!

Panel 2

She continues speaking into her cell phone, now looking a bit angry.

WOMAN: Every day we’re dodging tear gas and concrete milkshakes! Proud boys and antifa are everywhere!

Panel 3

She holds up one hand to cup by her mouth, as if whispering.

WOMAN: Don’t print my name…. I don’t want to become their next target.

Panel 4

She looks wide-eyed and panicked as she presses the button to hang up the phone.

WOMAN: Even talking to you like this– oh no! Someone’s coming! No, NO! Please, don’t hurt me! AAARGH!

PHONE: Click.

Panel 5

The “camera” has backed very far back, and we can now see that the woman is sitting with a friend at an outdoor table on the sidewalk in front of a restaurant or cafe. The friend is wide-eyed with shock; the woman is sipping her coffee and smiling as if she’s very pleased with herself.

We can also see almost a full block of the sidewalk they’re sitting on, and some of the street. It’s a peaceful street scene; diners sit at tables with striped umbrellas; a mom pushes a baby carriage; a parent bikes by with a toddler seated between the parent and the handle bars; two children play catch; further back, a woman in a black dress bikes, her black hair blowing behind her. The red brick building has green paint accents, and in the distance, trees and a mountain can be seen behind the city buildings.

WOMAN: God, I love out-of-town reporters!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Media criticism |

It’s Excessive Occupational Licensing, Charlie Brown!

Cartoon by Barry

Help me make more cartoons by supporting my Patreon! I make a living through $1 pledges.

This cartoon is a collaboration with Becky Hawkins.  Becky and I have done other political cartoons together, and we also collaborate on our webcomic SuperButch.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus a small extra “kicker” panel below the bottom of the strip. Each panel has the same setting – a green field with blue sky, and a childish booth, drawn to resemble Lucy’s “psychiatric help, the doctor is in” booth from the comic strip Peanuts. But this booth says “State Legislature, the Senator is in.”

Behind the desk is a white man with gray hair and a conservative suit and tie.

Panel 1

The Senator sits behind his booth, listening with his head resting on one hand. A Black person with braided hair has walked up to the booth and is talking to him.

BRAIDER: I’m starting a business braiding Black people’s hair. But the law says I can’t until I’ve taken two thousand hours of training in styling white people’s hair.

Panel 2

The Braider keeps on talking, getting a bit more passionate. Behind them, a grinning man wearing a v-neck shirt and a blazer, with a full beard and carefully styled hair, walks on, waving “hi.”

BRAIDER: Even becoming an Emergency Medical Technician only takes thirty three hours of training! This makes no sense!

SENATOR: This is Bob Johnson of the State Hairdresser’s Association. What do you say, Bob?

Panel 3

Bob leans his elbow on the Senator’s desk, oozing confidence. The Senator listens like an attentive schoolboy. Behind Bob, unnoticed, the Braider looks angry and appalled.

BOB: It’s far too dangerous to permit competit- I mean, to permit unlicensed hair braiding.

BOB: On a completely unrelated note, we’re increasing our donation to your re-election campaign.

Panel 4

The Senator, with a satisfied air, leans back on his chair, hands behind his head and feet on his desk. Bob grins and makes a “hand gun” gesture towards the Senator. The braider raises her hands into the air, and has a huge open mouth of despair and objection as she yells.

SENATOR: After careful deliberation, I’ve concluded unlicensed braiding would be a grave threat to public safety.

BOB: Thanks, Jeff. Lunch?

BRAIDER: THIS IS A TERRIBLE SYSTEM!

Small kicker panel below the bottom of the strip.

The Senator is talking to the braider.

SENATOR: If you don’t want to buy thousands of hours of training about white people’s hair, aren’t you the real racist?

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Economic cartoons, Racism & Racists |

Thought Congestion

Cartoon by Barry

If you like these cartoons, help me make more by supporting my Patreon! Each $1 pledge really helps.

Another collaboration with Becky Hawkins! This one was written by me, and drawn by Becky.

TRANSCRIPT OF COMIC

The comic has four panels.

PANEL 1

The panel shows backed-up traffic on an overpass in the foreground. In the background, we can see more backed-up highways, and behind that the buildings of a small city, including a white building with a big dome on top and a US flag – i.e., a government building. Two word balloons come from that building. The balloons belong to characters I will call MAYOR and NERD.

MAYOR: The city just spent half a billion widening roads. But we still have traffic congestion!

NERD: Well, Mr. Mayor, studies show that adding lanes doesn’t fix traffic.

PANEL 2

Inside the mayor’s office. There is a big curtained window and a fancy executive desk with a big leather chair. In front of the desk is the Mayor – a man in a suit with gray hair – and a woman who is a nerd, by which I mean she’s wearing glasses, has her hair in a bun, and is carrying a stack of three-ring binders.

The Mayor is making a “stop talking” gesture, holding up a hand flat in front of the nerd’s face. The mayor looks angry, and his eyes are bloodshot.

NERD: People’s capacity to drive is greater than our capacity to build roads, so-

MAYOR: Blah blah blah! We’ve got to do something!

PANEL 3

The mayor, now looking happy, makes a big sweeping gesture with his hand, causing the surprised nerd to drop her binders.

NERD: Um…

MAYOR: I’ve got it!

PANEL 4

The mayor and the nerd are now on stage, the mayor behind the podium and the nerd to one side and behind him. There is a cheering crowd watching the mayor speak.

The Mayor is waving a hand grandly as he speaks. The nerd is face-palming.

MAYOR: Good news, citizens! We’re widening the roads again!

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations |

Inheriting the Economy

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon was drawn by Becky Hawkins. who I’ve collaborated with several times before.

Help me make more cartoons: Support my patreon! A $1 pledge really helps.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

There are four panels in this cartoon.

PANEL 1

Two youngish adults, a man and a woman, are thrilled as they look at a yellow sports car with a big red bow wrapped around it. Their clothes and hairdos both suggest the 1970s.

MAN: Wow! What a GREAT economy we’ve inherited.

PANEL 2

The two of them are speeding along in the car, going so fast that the car is several feet above the ground. A rabbit flees in terror. He is grinning; she is throwing a fist into the air.

MAN: Zoom! ZOOM!

WOMAN: Whoopie!

PANEL 3

The same man and woman, but now looking in their 60s (and with updated wardrobe and hair), are standing by the now completely wrecked and smoking car. They’ve put a red bow on the wreckage, and they look very cheerful, maybe even proud. There’s a young man and a young woman, looking like they’re in shock. The older man holds out car keys to the young man.

MAN: Okay, kids, take the keys! It’s all yours now!

PANEL 4

The older man and woman talk to each other. In the background, the yellow sports car wreckage has burst into flames; the young woman looks shocked, and the young man, unnoticed by the older couple, is giving them the finger.

MAN: Why don’t they drive like we did?

WOMAN: Millennials are so lazy.

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Economic cartoons |

But she never said “no”!

Cartoon by Barry

This stip was created with Becky Hawkins, who is also my collaborator on SuperButch! Becky drew this comic, while I wrote, lettered, and added the colors.

If you enjoy these cartoons, and can spare it, please support them on Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters to me.

TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

The title image of this cartoon has the words “But she never said ‘NO’ in large white letters that fade into the background. Below the title is a drawing of telephone wires, with two birds sitting on a wire.
FIRST BIRD: Does this comic strip need a content warning?
SECOND BIRD: I think the title covers it.

PANEL 1

A woman and a man are on a sofa. The man is leaning towards her, putting his lips near hers, while she pulls back and puts a protective hand, in a “stop” gesture, in front of her mouth.

WOMAN: I’m not sure I want to do this right now…
MAN (thought): That’s not literally saying “no.”

PANEL 2
A closer shot of him from over the woman’s shoulder. He is smiling. She’s still holding up a “stop” hand. His thought balloon partly obscures her speech balloon, but not so much that we can’t read what she’s saying.

WOMAN: Hey c’mon, this isn’t a good idea.
MAN (thought): That’s not a literal “no.” So it’s okay to grab her boobs.

PANEL 3
A closer shot of him leaning in to kiss her as she pulls away. She’s saying something, but we can’t read it because his thought balloon gets in the way.

MAN (thought): She still hasn’t literally said “no.” I’m good!

PANEL 4
A close-up of his face. The woman’s not in the panel, but her word balloon – still mostly obscured by his head and his thought balloon – indicates that she’s positioned below him. He looks like he’s concentrating.

MAN (thought): Pulling away while I’m trying to pull her pants down isn’t literally saying “no.”

PANEL 5
In silhouette, we see that she’s lying on her back, with him on top of her. She isn’t saying anything.

MAN (thought): Now she’s just being silent and unresponsive. No talking means she’s not saying “no!”

PANEL 6
This is the final panel. The setting has changed; the man is now holding his arms up and looking frustrated. A few people in silhouette are looking at him; their posture makes it seem like they’re angry at him.

MAN: How was I supposed to know? I’m not a mind-reader!

KICKER PANEL

A small panel below the bottom of the strip shows the man, now looking full of himself, talking to a different couple of people.

MAN: I do consider myself a feminist!

Posted in Barry's favorites, Becky Hawkins collaborations, Sexism & Misogyny |

Think of the Children!

Cartoon by Barry

This cartoon was written and colored by Barry Deutsch, and drawn by Becky Hawkins.

Transcript

Panel 1
CAPTION: 1940
A man in a suit and hat is speaking loudly to a crowd of people watching him. He is holding out a book called “The Talmud Unmasked.”
MAN: We can’t allow Jews in our club! They’re perverts and deviants! Think of the children!

Panel 2
CAPTION: 1960
A woman and man stand in front of a suburban home. Behind them, on the lawn, two adorable children are playing catch. The man has his arm around the woman’s shoulder, and the woman is holding a baby in her arms.
WOMAN: Blacks integrating into our neighborhood? No! Think of the children!

Panel 3
CAPTION: 1980
Several protesters are marching in front of a school building. One protester, a woman holding a child (who is struggling to get away) with one arm and a sign saying “FIRE HER!” with the other hand, is speaking.
WOMAN: A lesbian can’t be a teacher! Think of the children!

Panel 4
A man in a suit stands on the steps of what looks like a government building. Many reporters are holding out microphones to record what he’s saying. He has a small girl with him, patting her on the head with one hand while pointing at her with the other.
MAN: We need to keep transsexuals out of public bathrooms! Think of the children!

Kicker panel.
The small girl has turned to face the man with the suit. He speaks to her sternly, holding up an admonishing finger.
GIRL: But I’m trans.
MAN: Don’t confuse me!

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, LGBT cartoons |