The Fat Whisperer
Cartoon by Barry
Thanks to Everyday Feminism for publishing this comic! And thanks to them as well, for the following transcript:
Panel 1
(A friendly-looking, thin, conventionally attractive white man – “The Fat Whisperer” – speaks directly to the viewer.)
FW: Hi! I’m the Fat Whisperer!
Panel 2
(FW points his finger in the air. He has a smug look on his face.)
FW: I help fat people by telling them things they’ve never heard! Like “you’d look so much nicer if you lost all that weight.”
Panel 3
(FW has a confused expression. His hands are positioned like he is seeking answers.)
FW: “Have you considered putting down the donuts and going for a jog?” (Probably they haven’t!)
Panel 4
(FW holds his hands to his chest, as if he is making a heartfelt statement.)
FW: Or I tell them “being fat could harm your health!” (I bet most fatties have never heard that!)
Panel 5
(FW makes a disgusted expression, holds hands, palms forward, in front of his body to demonstrate rejection.)
FW: But you know what I hate? “Fat Acceptance.” Gross! Fat people can’t “accept” themselves!
Panel 6
(FW has a frustrated facial expression, and points at his hand.)
FW: Fat people need shame and self-loathing! Otherwise they’ll get fatter and worse. Why doesn’t anyone ever teach fat people that?
Panel 7
(FW has his arms crossed in front of his body and wears an angry expression.)
FW: We can’t accept fat people. Because fat people are sinful and weak!
Panel 8
(FW gestures towards himself and looks proud.)
FW: (And if fat people are sinful and weak, that makes thin people like me virtuous and strong!)
Panel 9
(FW is beginning to look even angrier than before. His eyes and mouth are wide open and he is shaking his fist in the air.)
FW: Without me, who’d ever tell these people: Take a run, Lardo! Put down the Twinkies! Where’s your self-respect?
Panel 10
(FW has totally lost it. He is sweating and screaming with rage.)
FW: YOUR BODY DISGUSTS ME AND YOU SHOULD BE SAD!
Panel 11
(FW regains his calm and looks a bit sheepish. His clothes are now disheveled from his tantrum.)
FW: Er… I only say these things because I care!
Panel 12
(FW looks devastated, confused, deeply concerned, and as if he believes he is the victim.)
FW: But sadly, most fat people never hear any of this stuff!
Posted in Barry's favorites, Fat Acceptance, Uncategorized |
