Further update: And a third try at finding the right punchline to this cartoon! (Scroll down for the first two attempts).
The second try:
Sometimes I don’t get cartoons right the first time. After I’d posted this one online, David Feldman emailed me suggesting that the punchline would be better if it focused more on past acts than on future plans. He was right, and after a bit of emailing back and forth, we came up with a new punchline.
For those of you who are interested, here’s the cartoon with the original punchline:
If you purchase this cartoon for reprint, be sure to let me know which punchline you prefer. 🙂
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
The cartoon shows two young men chatting. The man on the left is Asian and punky – he has his hair shaved into a mohawk, a nose ring and an earlobe plug, and tattoos. The man on the right is probably white and has a van dyke beard and a shaved head, and is wearing a black vest over a turtleneck shirt. There are six panels.
BEARDY: In the old days, rape was when a thug jumped out of bushes, not this “date rape” and “affirmative consent” nonsense!
BEARDY: If we define “rape” so broadly, how can I know I’m not “raping” a girl I’m hooking up with?
PUNKY: It’s really not hard! If she acts like she wants sex, by yanking your pants down or saying “fuck me now” – if she’s going for it just as much as you are – then you’re golden!
PUNKY: But if she’s so drunk that she can’t walk straight or talk clearly, then she might be too drunk to know what’s going on, so don’t fuck her. Or him, for that matter.
PUNKY: And if she passively “gives in” to sex, check that things are cool before going any further. Why is that so hard?
PUNKY: Because what?
BEARDY: Because she might say no!
BEARDY: Because it’s impossible that anything I’ve done was rape!
And the original punchline:
BEARDY: Because then I might not get to fuck her!