Top Ten Reasons Americans Want Enormous Cars
May 14th, 2025 Barry Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Environmental cartoons | No Comments »
This cartoon is by me and Becky Hawkins. (The final panel, which I love, was all Becky’s idea.)
TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has eleven panels. The central panel says, in large friendly letters, “Top Ten Reasons Americans Want Enormous Cars.”
Panel 1
An angry woman gestures at a computer screen.
Woman: “Emissions” were made up by China to make U.S. manufacturing non-competitive!
Panel 2
A cheerful man wearing a big, sparkling watch smiles as he explains.
Man: How else will strangers know I’ve got money to burn?
Panel 3
A woman lies on a sofa as if she’s getting therapy.
Woman on couch: My big car gives me a sense of security, power, and control, which I know is pathetic, which makes me feel weak, which makes me want an even bigger car.
Panel 4
A person is looking a bit up into space, crying with joy.
Person: Someday someone will ask me to move a piano and on that day I will be ready! It’s coming! Any day now…
Panel 5
Man smiling wryly: Because shooting bikers and pedestrians is illegal. … For now.
Panel 6
This is the center panel, and is dominated by the title: Top Ten Reasons Americans Want Enormous Cars.
Below that, a small girl flees in terror from a huge SUV.
SUV Driver: The higher the car, the closer to Heaven!
Panel 7
A man wearing a red baseball cap backwards pumps his fist in the air.
Man: If we don’t burn as many fossil fuels as fast as possible the woke DEI liberals win! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!
Panel 8
A cheerful guitarist on stage speaks to the audience.
Guitarist: If Jesus had a big truck the Romans would never have caught him!
Panel 9
A thin man is smiling and saluting at us. A U.S. flag, but with a swole arm instead of stars, is being projected onto him.
Man: It makes me a real man and a real American.
Panel 10
A woman in a business suit looks at us derisively.
Woman: A compact? What am I, five?
Panel 11
A harried looking woman driving seven women in an SUV.
Woman: Gotta keep my kids safe from all the giant cars people drive!
CHICKEN FAT WATCH
“Chicken fat” is a neglected cartoonists’ term for fun little details the cartoonist puts into the art.
Panel 1: A sticking-tongue-out emoji is on the coffee cup.
Panel 2: The man’s t-shirt says “Thorsteid Veblen was RIGHT.”
Panel 4: The person’s shirt says “I ❤️ Band.” They’ve got a full tattoo sleeve, showing a lighthouse, a bear, a sneaker, a bat, and piano keys. Becky explains:
I started with piano keys because this person wants to move a piano, so they probably like music (hence the I ❤️ band shirt). The other tattoos are a product of free association. I don’t have any tattoos, but I’d hypothetically get a Pittsburgh skyline on one calf and a Portland skyline on the other, since they’re both bridges-on-a-river cities that are important to me. My initial attempts to draw a legible skyline on a small cartoon character’s arm while on a deadline were unsuccessful. I tried drawing a bridge, but soon decided a lighthouse would be easier and just as effective. Bears are fun and great, so I drew a baby bear. Apparently bear bodies are easier to draw than bear faces, so after a few tries, I placed the tattoo where the face would be out of sight. I had a coworker who was known for wearing Converse All Stars, so much so that on his 60th birthday, the hostess gave away little sneaker keychains as party favors. A former housemate of mine had a vampire teeth tattoo, but I think I’ve drawn someone with that on a different cartoon, so I drew a bat instead.
Panel 5: Although the girl is getting away from the SUV, she’s lost a flip-flop, which is flying into the SUV’s grill.
Panel 11: So much detail here! This is one of those SUVs with three rows of seats. In the back-back, a toddler drawing hashmarks on the window with a red marker. A girl is shouting to be heard by another girl, who has headphones on.
In the middle row, a baby is playing with its foot, as babies do. Another girl with headphones is staring at an iPad. And a boy in the middle is shouting for the boy in the front passenger seat to pass him a bag of snacks, which the boy is doing.
