Real America vs The Coastal Elites

Cartoon by Barry


This strip was drawn by Becky Hawkins.


Help us make more of these cartoons! A $2 pledge goes a surprisingly long way.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has four panels, plus an additional tiny “kicker” panel under the fourth panel. Each panel shows the same man talking directly at the reader. He has neatly combed blonde hair with a full beard, and is wearing boots, jeans, and a bright red button-up shirt with a brown vest over it. His outfit says “rural salt of the earth by way of L.L. Bean.”

PANEL 1 

The man is talking cheerfully to the readers, one forefinger raised to make a point. Behind him, we can see a street lined with stores or businesses; the buildings are  all one or two stories tall, a bit quaint, and all but scream “small town charm.”

MAN : I tink the best of America is in the small towns – the wonderful little pockets of what I call The Real America.

PANEL 2

The same man, but now he’s suddenly standing in front of an enormous pile of garbage; we can make out a few things in the pile, like a fish skeleton, a concrete block, a wishbone, and a pile of poop. Rising up behind the garbage pile, we can see a group of ugly brown high-rise apartment buildings. A large plume of smoke (we can’t see from what) rises into the sky.

MAN: Elite liberals are destroying American with their terrible “New York” values. That’s why their cities are burnt-out shells!

PANEL 3

The man is suddenly much closer to the viewer, yelling, his eyes large and bulging. Behind him we can see a chaotic jumble of big-city ills: A red-eyed rat, buildings on fire, a grocery cart filled with someone’s possessions in bags, a syringe, another pile of poop, and a person wearing a mask and a black hoodie who is about to throw a flaming Molotov cocktail.

MAN: DEM CITIES ARE DISGUSTING, RAT-INFESTED HOLES THAT NO HUMAN COULD LIVE IN!

PANEL 4

The man is suddenly on a bucolic, hilly farm. A sheep lies on the ground, munching the green grass,  and there’s a black-spotted cow wearing a bell around it’s neck. Further back, we can see a classic red barn with a grain silo beside it, and a hill that’s been tilled and has some crop growing. The man, no longer in tight close-up, is grasping his hands together and looking a bit upward, almost like he’s praying; he has a sad expression, and a single tear falls from one eye.

MAN: And why do coastal elite snobs say such hateful things about their fellow Americans?

TINY KICKER PANEL UNDER THE BOTTOM OF THE STRIP

Barry the cartoonist, raising a finger to make a point, is talking to the man from the strip. The man has a “I’m so above this nonsense” smug expression, eyes closed.

BARRY: Don’t you live in a coastal city? And didn’t you go to Harvard?

MAN: In my heart I’ve always lived on a farm.


This cartoon on Patreon (You can find source quotes there, too!)

Posted in Becky Hawkins collaborations, Conservatives |

The Five Kinds of Republican

Cartoon by Barry


If you enjoy these cartoons, why not help me make more by supporting my Patreon? A $2 pledge makes a real difference! (Well, to the making of these cartoons. But in the long run, we’ll hit the heat death of the universe and nothing matters anyway.) (In which case, why not support my Patreon?)


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON

This cartoon has six panels. Each of the panels shows a white person speaking, usually to the reader. Every other panel has either a tan or a blue dominant background color, forming a sort of checkboard pattern.

All panels, except for panel 1, have a caption at the top of the panel.

PANEL 1

Most of this panel is taken up by large, friendly lettering for the title of this strip: “THE FIVE KINDS OF REPUBLICAN.”

At the bottom of the panel is a small self-portrait of me, Barry, with my arms crossed and looking at the reader with what I hope is sort of a “sheesh!” expression. Barry is fat, has dark hair in a ponytail, and is wearing a solid black tee.

BARRY: White, white, white, white and white.

PANEL 2

A blonde woman yells at her laptop screen, appalled and panicked. She’s wearing a dark red tee and has a coffee cup next to her on the table.

CAPTION: 1. Tools who believe ridiculous lies.

WOMAN: A million Americans have been killed by chips in vaccinations! The lamestream media’s covering it up!

PANEL 3

A man with his brown hair parted in the middle is walking a dog on a leash through a hilly area, with a tree in the background. He’s wearing a collared yellow button-up shirt and blue jeans. He’s smiling big and pointing to something on his smartphone. The dog is looking up at him with a “oh not this again” expression.

CAPTION: 2. Tools who believe ridiculous lies.

MAN:  It says here that Portland is a burned out shell of a city!

PANEL 4

A redheaded man, with a large mustache and large glasses, is leaning out of a window and holding up a smartphone. He has an elaborate sleeve tattoo covering his entire left arm, which was super fun for me to draw and which probably no one is able to see because the drawing is small. (Things on the tattoo include a smiling sun, a bird, a big eye, flowers, a compass, and woman’s face in profile, and a big diamond.) He looks angry.

CAPTION: 3. Tools who believe ridiculous lies.

MAN: The Dumbocrats are bussing in ten thousand Mexicans to illegally vote!

PANEL 5

An older man, wearing a thick vest over a yellow sweater, looks out at the reader with a concerned expression. He’s holding a tablet to his chest. He’s standing behind a fence; a bunch of tall, dark red flowers are in front of the fence.

CAPTION: 4. Tools who believe ridiculous lies.

MAN: Liberals made up “global warming” because George Soros secretly owns the solar panel companies!

PANEL 6

A hand (which looks like it belongs to someone Black) is holding a smartphone. On the smartphone, a slick-looking blonde man with carefully styled hair and a huge grin is staring out at his viewers. He’s wearing a suit and tie, and holding up a big orange bottle, like the kind some pharmacies put pills in.

CAPTION: 5. Liars.

MAN: …and that’s why Trump is secretly still president!

MAN: And have you tried my cancer-blasting vitamins? Only $34.99 a bottle for the next five minutes!


This cartoon on Patreon.

Posted in Conservatives |

Witch Hunt

Cartoon by Barry

 


If you enjoy these cartoons, and can spare it, please help me make more by supporting my Patreon! A $1 pledge really matters.


TRANSCRIPT OF CARTOON
This cartoon has four panels.

Panel 1
This panel shows two women hanging from chains on a dungeon wall. Both women look dirty and are wearing ragged clothes. One is blonde, one brunette. They are looking at each other and chatting.

BLONDE: So, Merga… How have you been?
MERGA: Oh, you know…

Panel 2
A close-up of Merga. She looks like she may be in shock.

MERGA: Yesterday my neighbor said he dreamed that I danced with the devil. Today, they tortured me for hours until I “confessed” just to make it stop.

Panel 3
A shot of the two of them, looking very downcast.
MERGA: And tomorrow, they’ll burn me to death at the stake. How have you been?
BLONDE: Same.

Panel 4
This panel shows a smartphone, being held in someone’s hand. On the smartphone screen, an angry middle-aged man wearing a suit and necktie is speaking.

CAPTION: 400 years later.

NECKTIE: Someone on the internet criticized J.K. Rowling using hyperbolic language. It’s a WITCH HUNT!

Tiny kicker panel below bottom of strip.
The necktie dude from the fourth panel is talking to Barry (the cartoonist).
NECKTIE: You’re right, it’s not a witch hunt. It’s a lynch mob!

Posted in Conservatives, LGBT cartoons, Sexism & Misogyny |